Embedded Files
By Finley Baker
Last Updated March 5, 2025
Image Description [Vignette style illustration with sapphic color palette including orange, pink, and purple. The frame of the vignette includes several types of butt plugs and anal beads. Within the vignette, two naked people are depicted on a purple blanket. The one on the left is a young Hispanic AFAB non-binary person with glasses and short curly hair that is dyed pink, crouched. They are pushing a pump of lube into their hand, which is covered in a black nitrile glove. The person on the right is a young Polynesian trans woman with tattoos and long dark hair. She is an above knee right leg amputee with visible scar. She is lying stomach down over a black ramp-shaped foam bolster with her hips resting at the top of the ramp and her arms extended above her head on the blanket. She is looking coyly at the viewer.]
Image Description [Infographic with several illustrations in squares and a light orange background. Text reads "Anal Sex 101: A great option for anyone with a butt!" The first section reads "BEFORE" with an illustration of two bottles of lube with the text "Lube: extra thick - silicone or hybrid." The next square is an illustration of a nitrile glove, unrolled condom and towel that reads "Protection: gloves, condoms, towels." The next square contains two images of a small black anal plug and a small bumpy marbled purple anal plug that reads "Try hybrid lube with silicone toys!" and "Anal toy: flared base - ALWAYS." The next square is an illustration of an enema bulb with water coming out the tip that reads "Douche: if desired, not required." The second section reads "DURING" with the following square containing two speech bubbles that read "Ready?" and "Yes!" with the caption "Communicate: let the insertee lead." The next square is an illustration of two Black people, one with light skin and one with dark skin, that reads "Intimacy or masturbation 1st: toy can come later." The next square is an illustration of a watch with a happy face that reads "Go SLOW: slower & more lube than you think." The next square is an illustration of a butt with arrows circling around the butthole with the caption "Work your way in: Massage the whole butt, butthole, then use toy." The third section reads "AFTER" with the following square containing an illustration of a showerhead with the caption "Aftercare: clean, cuddle, etc." The fourth section reads "TIPS!" and the following square is an illustration of a tube with a circle-backslash symbol with the caption "NO NUMBING CREAM: Prevents pain signals - your body's message to slow down." The next square is an illustration of a glass of water, an apple, and nuts with the caption "Hydrate & fiber." The final square is a QR code with a link to this webpage and the caption "Scan for more."]
Anal 101
Anal 101
Overall, remember: Slower & more lube than you think
Before Starting
The anus does not self-lubricate, so it is important to use lots of lube for anal sex. Silicone or hybrid options are great options because they are often thicker than water-based lubes, so they will provide more cushion. Silicone is great for glass toys, metal toys, and bodies (not silicone toys). Hybrid lube can be used with silicone toys.
Protection can include condoms (latex or non-latex) if you are inserting something phallus shaped, nitrile gloves for fingers, or Loral latex underwear if you are just performing oral sex on the outside of the anus.
Put down towels! Everyone has poo, it's not the end of the world if some appears.
Choose a toy with a flared base (the end that stays out of your butt is much wider than what you are inserting). This is important because toys without a flared base can be pulled up into your rectum by strong muscles, and that would not be a fun visit to the emergency room.
Douching (optional): This involves cleaning out the rectum by introducing water up the butt in a variety of different ways. This is a nice option if you are concerned about a partner seeing your poop, but it is not a 100% guarantee that this won't happen. Most healthy rectums will be mostly poop-free anyways. It is up to you if you feel comfortable douching or if it is accessible to you! See more information in Anal Douching.
During Sex
If you are having sex with a partner, let the receiving partner (person who's butt is getting something put in it) lead the way. Especially if you are using a toy rather than a body part to insert in your sex partner, they will be the only one who can feel what's happening.
Start with intimacy or masturbation to help relax your body and anal sphincter muscles. If you attempt to put the toy in right away, you will most likely be met with more resistance, which can lead to more micro-tears.
Being physically and/or mentally aroused will make insertion easier. Massage the whole butt, then make circles around the butthole, then maybe a fingertip, then a small toy, etc.
Go slow! Use lots of lube on the toy and/or your fingers. Lube makes the experience more comfortable and helps prevent damaging delicate anal tissues, as opening small fissures can increase your risk of acquiring an infection.
When the insertee is ready, remove the toy. Always clean the toy with gentle soap and warm water before using it anywhere else on the body (especially a vagina) or with other partners.
After Sex
Aftercare refers to how you will take care of yourself mentally and physically after a potentially emotional or fatiguing experience like having sex. This can include cleaning up the space you had sex in, showering, using wipes to clean each other up, asking for caregiver or aide support, cuddling, having tea, watching a show, etc.
If you had a sex partner(s), communicate about what went well and what may have felt better for next time. Anal sex is learned, so it may take some trial and error.
Tips
Don't use numbing creams: Numbing creams are designed to reduce pain sensations, but in the case of anal sex, you want to be able to feel if something is going wrong. Anal sex should feel like pleasurable pressure, not painful. If it is painful, add more lube, communicate with your partner, change position, or stop entirely.
Hydrate & fiber: See Queer Health Pod's Anal Douching episode for specific information.
Resources & References
Resources & References
Burnett Foundation: How to have anal sex (R18) - Educational videos of actual people having anal sex (may be helpful if it is difficult to understand euphemisms or metaphors in sex education) , restricted to 18+ viewers, non-profit organizational resource
Queer Health Pod: Douching - Podcast episode
Trans Sex by Kelvin Sparks (Book)
Related Topics
Related Topics
Suggested APA 7 Citation
Suggested APA 7 Citation
Baker, F. (2025, March 5). Anal 101. Disabled & trans sexual health. https://sites.google.com/view/disabled-trans-sexual-health/sex-ed-postcards/anal-101
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