Repentance Q&A

REPENTANCE Questions and Answers

1. What are the steps of repentance?  What is complete repentance?

2. How do I recognize my sin? Do I need to repent for every little thing? what if I can’t remember every sin I have committed?  How do I repent of the little things?

 3. Is it ever too late to repent? What if I don’t? Can I repent anytime?  Can’t I just wait? Is there repentance in the spirit world?

 4. What if my sin is a habit and difficult to break? I want to repent of something but I can’t stop doing it.  What is a good way to stop? 

 5. Who do I need to confess to? Do I have to tell my parents, to repent? What exactly do you have to confess? What sins should I tell my Bishop? Why do I need to talk to a Bishop? Why can’t I just pray about it? What if you no longer have problems with it, and they are not an issue? Will he tell others what I have done? How much do I need to tell my Bishop? Will my bishop think differently of me when I talk to him about my sins, I’m scared?

 6. How do I avoid sexual sin and not just try to resist it? Why is Satan attacking youth with immorality? What's the difference between love and lust? How far can you go and still be good? What are the limits? What are the “sexual transgressions” that I should talk to the Bishop about? 

7. What if I can’t make things right?  Can I still be forgiven? What is restitution?

 8. How do you forgive yourself? How will I know when I am forgiven? Why do I still feel guilty? How long will it take before I’m forgiven? And the sin is forgotten?

 9. If I still feel angry toward someone am I truly forgiven? Is resentment bad?

 10. What if I am addicted to Pornography or a substance? How can I better cope with life problems? Is there anything that is totally unforgivable? 

 11. When do you know if you are worthy or not worthy to take the sacrament? How does the sacrament help?

 12. Am I worth it? Can I be clean again? Is it worth it? What blessings? Is the Joy real?

 13. Does repentance have to hurt? Does there need to be remorse and Godly Sorrow? How can I gain a desire to repent and have the spirit again? Why is it so hard? What if you know the church’s standards but you don’t feel bad about doing it? 

 14. Is it your fault if you get raped or sexually abused?

 15. Can anyone change/repent multiple times? What if I sin and repent and then sin again…? Do I need to fully Forsake and abandon it to grow and change?

 16. How can we help others without getting into temptation myself? I have friends that are struggling, what should I do?

 17. Will we ever forget our sins? Does God remember them? If you still think of the sin have you fully repented?

Videos on repentance and forgiveness:

https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/media/collection/repentance-and-forgiveness-topic?lang=eng&collectionId=bd59191796027fc53f46f5811862b4ff2baaa3b2

1. What are the steps of repentance? What is complete repentance?

       ABC’s of Repentance:

·                 Admit, Recognize the Sin

·                 Be Sorry, Sorrow, Remorse

·                 Confess, Correct, Change

·                 Don’t do it again, Forsake, Abandon

·                 ETTE, Endure

·                 Forgive yourself, others

      SACRED Repentance:

·                 Sorrow for Sin

·                 Abandonment of sin

·                 Confession of sin

·                 Restitution for sin

·                 EttE Obedience to all the commandments

·                 Desire Recognition of the Savior

                                 (Richard G. Scott, CR Apr. 1995)

               “Real repentance involves not a mechanical checklist but a [reining in] of the natural self. Often overlapping and mutually reinforcing, each portion of the process of repentance is essential. This process rests on inner resolve but is much aided by external support.” (NAM 1991)

               “Repentance must involve an all-out, total surrender to the program of the Lord. That transgressor is not fully repentant who neglects his tithing, misses his meetings, breaks the Sabbath, fails in his family prayers, does not sustain the authorities of the Church, breaks the Word of Wisdom, does not love the Lord nor his fellowmen. A reforming adulterer who drinks or curses is not repentant. The repenting burglar who has sex play is not ready for forgiveness. God cannot forgive unless the transgressor shows a true repentance which spreads to all areas of his life” (Kimball, Miracle of Forgiveness, 203).

               “One having forsaken his sins and, by proper confession, cleared his conduct with the Lord, with the people he has offended, and with the Church of Jesus Christ, where necessary, may with full confidence seek the Lord’s forgiveness and go forth in newness of life, relying upon the merits of Christ” (Marion G. Romney, in Conference Report, Oct. 1980, 71)

               First, the invitation to repent is an expression of love. When the Savior “began to preach, and to say, Repent: for the kingdom of heaven is at hand” (Matthew 4:17), it was a message of love, inviting all who would to qualify to join Him “and enjoy the words of eternal life in this world, and eternal life [itself] in the world to come” (Moses 6:59). If we do not invite others to change or if we do not demand repentance of ourselves, we fail in a fundamental duty we owe to one another and to ourselves…

Second, repentance means striving to change. It would mock the Savior’s suffering in the Garden of Gethsemane and on the cross for us to expect that He should transform us into angelic beings with no real effort on our part. Rather, we seek His grace to complement and reward our most diligent efforts (see 2 Nephi 25:23). Perhaps as much as praying for mercy, we should pray for time and opportunity to work and strive and overcome. Surely the Lord smiles upon one who desires to come to judgment worthily, who resolutely labors day by day to replace weakness with strength. Real repentance, real change may require repeated attempts, but there is something refining and holy in such striving…with repentance we can steadily improve in our capacity to live the celestial law, for we recognize that “he who is not able to abide the law of a celestial kingdom cannot abide a celestial glory” (D&C 88:22).

Third, repentance means not only abandoning sin but also committing to obedience. The Bible Dictionary states, “Repentance comes to mean a turning of the heart and will to God, [as well as] a renunciation of sin to which we are naturally inclined.”1… “That ye turn to the Lord with all your mind, might, and strength” (Alma 39:12–13; see also Mosiah 7:33; 3 Nephi 20:26; Mormon 9:6). For our turning to the Lord to be complete, it must include nothing less than a covenant of obedience to Him.

Fourth, repentance requires a seriousness of purpose and a willingness to persevere, even through pain. Attempts to create a list of specific steps of repentance may be helpful to some, but it may also lead to a mechanical, check-off-the-boxes approach with no real feeling or change. True repentance is not superficial. The Lord gives two overarching requirements: “By this ye may know if a man repenteth of his sins—behold, he will confess them and forsake them” (D&C 58:43). Confessing and forsaking are powerful concepts. They are much more than a casual “I admit it; I’m sorry.” Confession is a deep, sometimes agonizing acknowledgment of error and offense to God and man.

With faith in the merciful Redeemer and His power, potential despair turns to hope. One’s very heart and desires change, and the once-appealing sin becomes increasingly abhorrent. A resolve to abandon and forsake the sin and to repair, as fully as one possibly can, the damage he or she has caused now forms in that new heart. This resolve soon matures into a covenant of obedience to God. With that covenant in place, the Holy Ghost, the messenger of divine grace, will bring relief and forgiveness.

Fifth, whatever the cost of repentance, it is swallowed up in the joy of forgiveness. 

Any pain entailed in repentance will always be far less than the suffering required to satisfy justice for unresolved transgression. The Savior spoke little about what He endured to satisfy the demands of justice and atone for our sins, but He did make this revealing statement:

“For behold, I, God, have suffered these things for all, that they might not suffer if they would repent;

“But if they would not repent they must suffer even as I; “Which suffering caused myself, even God, the greatest of all, to tremble because of pain, and to bleed at every pore, and to suffer both body and spirit—and would that I might not drink the bitter cup” (D&C 19:16–18). D. Todd Christofferson, The Divine Gift of Repentance, GC. 2011

2. How do I recognize my sin? Do I need to repent for every little thing, what if I can’t remember every sin I have committed?  How do I repent of the little things?  

               Recognize- “There can be no repentance without recognition of wrong. Whether by provocation, introspection, or wrenching remembrance, denial must be dissolved. As with the prodigal son who finally ‘came to himself’ ( Luke 15:17), the first rays of recognition help us begin to see ‘things as they really are’ ( Jacob 4:13). ... Recognition is a sacred moment, often accompanied by the hot blush of shame.” (Neal A. Maxwell, in Conference Report, Oct. 1991)

“When an offense is minor, so simple a thing as an apology will satisfy the law.  Most mistakes can be settled between us and the Lord, and that should be done speedily.  It requires a confession to Him, and whatever obvious repairs need to be made.”  Boyd K. Packer, CR, Oct. 1995

               “…when we have done all that we can, our desires will carry us the rest of the way.  It also means that if our desires are right, we can be forgiven for the unintended errors or mistakes we will inevitably make as we try to carry those desires into effect.  What a comfort for our feelings of inadequacy!”  Dallin H. Oaks, Pure in Heart 1988, p.59

D&C 66:3 “Verily I say unto you….. that you are clean, but not all; repent, therefore, of those things which are not pleasing in my sight, saith the Lord, for the Lord will show them unto you.

"First, and foremost we must come to realize this truth. Wickedness never did, never does, and never will bring us happiness. Violation of the laws of God brings only misery, bondage, and darkness. The Gospel is the Lord's plan of happiness, and repentance is designed to bring us joy." (President Ezra Taft Benson, Ensign. October 1989,2-5.)

"Second, we must have faith ("come unto Christ") before we can repent. Faith in the Lord Jesus Christ is the foundation upon which sincere and meaningful repentance must be built. If we truly seek to put away sin (an the effects thereof) we must first look to Him who is the Author of our salvation." (President Ezra Taft Benson, Ensign. October 1989,2-5.)

"One of those conditions of repentance is faith in the Lord Jesus Christ, including faith in, and reliance upon, his atoning sacrifice. As Amulek taught: 'He that exercises no faith unto repentance is exposed to the whole law of the demands of justice (Alma 34:16)." Dallin H. Oaks, Ensign. July 1992, 71.

"Third ... we must remember that repentance involves not just a change of actions, but a change of heart (Mosiah 5:2)." (President Ezra Taft Benson, Ensign. October 1989,2-5.)

3. Is it ever too late to repent? What if I don’t? Can I repent anytime?  Can’t I just wait? Is there repentance in the spirit world? Alma 34:32-36

               "It is possible for people to get so far in the dark through rebellion and wickedness that the spirit of repentance leaves them. …"[The Nephites and Lamanites who left the Church after Christ's coming] sinned willfully, and therefore salvation cannot come to them. It was offered to them, and they would not have it. They rejected it. They fought it and preferred to take the course of rebellion" (Doctrines of Salvation, comp. Bruce R. McConkie, 3 vols. [1954–56], 2:194–95).

               “The Lord has declared that ‘no unclean thing can inherit the kingdom of heaven’ (Alma 11:37). Your sins make you unclean—unworthy to return and dwell in the presence of your Heavenly Father. They also bring anguish to your soul in this life.

“Through the Atonement of Jesus Christ, Heavenly Father has provided the only way for you to be forgiven of your sins. Jesus Christ suffered the penalty for your sins so you can be forgiven if you sincerely repent. As you repent and rely on His saving grace, you will be cleansed from sin. He declared:

               “‘I command you to repent—repent, lest I smite you by the rod of my mouth, and by my wrath, and by my anger, and your sufferings be sore—how sore you know not, how exquisite you know not, yea, how hard to bear you know not. For behold, I, God, have suffered these things for all, that they might not suffer if they would repent; but if they would not repent they must suffer even as I; which suffering caused myself, even God, the greatest of all, to tremble because of pain, and to bleed at every pore, and to suffer both body and spirit—and would that I might not drink the bitter cup, and shrink—nevertheless, glory be to the Father, and I partook and finished my preparations unto the children of men’ (D&C 19:15–19)” (True to the Faith, 132).

               “God had decreed that all who will not obey His voice shall not escape the damnation of hell. What is the damnation of hell? To go with that society who have not obeyed His commands” (Joseph Smith, Teachings of the Prophet Joseph Smith, 198).

“For I the Lord cannot look upon sin with the least degree of allowance; Nevertheless, he that repents and does the commandments of the Lord shall be forgiven. (D&C 1:31-32.)

               “A youth in serious trouble said: ‘I have done things that I knew were bad.  I have been taught they were ever since I can remember.  I know repentance is a great gift;  without it I would be lost.  But I’m not ready to repent of my sins, yet I know when I am ready I can.’  How tragic.  The thought of intentionally committing serious sin now and repenting later is perilously wrong.  Never do that.  Many start that journey of intentional transgression and never make it back.  Premeditated sin has greater penalties and is harder to overcome.  If there is sin, repent now – while you can.”          Richard G. Scott, CR Oct. 1994

               “As the time of repentance is procrastinated, the ability to repent grows weaker; neglect of opportunity in holy things develops inability.”  (James E. Talmage, Articles of Faith, 12th Ed, [1924], 114)

               “It is true that the great principle of repentance is always available, but for the wicked and rebellious there are serious reservations to this statement.  For instance, sin is intensely habit-forming and sometimes moves men to the tragic point of no return…As the transgressor moves deeper and deeper in his sin,…and the will to change is weakened, it becomes increasingly near-hopeless, and he skids down and down until either he does not want to climb back or he has lost the power to do so.” (Spencer W. Kimball, The Miracle of Forgiveness, 117)

Alma 34:31-34 -- Don’t procrastinate the day of your repentance…

               “Don’t put your eternal life at risk.  Keep the commandments of God.  If you have sinned, the sooner you begin to make your way back, the sooner you will find the sweet peace and joy that come with the miracle of forgiveness.”  (Thomas S. Monson, CR Oct. 1990)

               “We should take warning and not wait for the death-bed to repent, as we see the infant taken away by death, so may the youth and middle-aged, as well as the infant be suddenly called into eternity. Let this, then, prove as a warning to all not to procrastinate repentance, or wait till a death-bed, for it is the will of God that man should repent and serve Him in health, and in the strength and power of his mind, in order to secure his blessing, and not wait until he is called to die” (Smith, Teachings, 197).

               “…we believe in repentance for the dead… The dead who repent will be redeemed, through obedience to the ordinances of the house of God.  And after they have paid the penalty of their transgressions, and are washed clean, shall receive a reward according to their works, for they are heirs of salvation."  James E. Faust, CR, October 2003

               “Oh yes, it is possible to repent in the spirit world, although we are given to understand that it is much more difficult to repent there because we will not have our physical bodies to help us. Also an integral part of repentance is that we must make restitution. …This may be very difficult to do in the spirit world. (President Hartman Rector, Jr, CR Oct. 1970 )

http://scriptures.byu.edu/gettalk.php?ID=1801

               “…President Brigham Young said it is a hundred times easier to repent here on the earth than it is in the spirit world. By the same token, if we go there in the right condition, it is a hundred times easier to learn in the spirit world than it is here in this life. So we should do what we can do best where we are. Now is the best time to repent; then will be the best time to learn.” (President Hartman Rector, Jr, CR Oct. 1970 )

               “It is my judgment that any man or woman can do more to conform to the laws of God in one year in this life than they could in ten years when they are dead. The spirit only can repent and change, and then the battle has to go forward with the flesh afterwards. It is much easier to overcome and serve the Lord when both flesh and spirit are combined as one. This is the time when men are more pliable and susceptible. When clay is pliable, it is much easier to change than when it gets hard and sets” (Melvin J. Ballard, in Bryant S. Hinckley,Sermons and Missionary Services of Melvin Joseph Ballard, 241).

               Matthew 25:31–46 (Jesus Christ will judge us by our acts.)

               2 Nephi 29:11 (We will be judged by the scriptures.)

2 Nephi 31:19–20 (We must continue to be faithful to Jesus Christ to the end of our life, repenting of all our sins, to obtain eternal life.)

               Jacob 6:9 (We will stand with shame and awful guilt if we have not repented.)

               Alma 12:14 (Our words, thoughts, and actions will condemn us if they are bad.)

4. What if my sin is a habit and difficult to break? I want to repent of something but I can’t stop doing it.  What is a good way to stop?

               “Do not try merely to discard a bad habit or a bad thought.  Replace it.  When you try to eliminate a bad habit, if the spot where it used to be is left open it will sneak back and crawl again into that empty space….

“Replace it with something good.  Replace it with unselfish thoughts, with unselfish acts.  Then, if the habit or addiction tries to return, it will have to fight for attention….You are in charge of you.  I repeat, it is very, very difficult to eliminate a bad habit [or sin] just by trying to discard it.  Replace it.”   Boyd K. Packer

               “I do not believe that any man lives up to his ideals, but if we are striving, if we are working, if we are trying, to the best of our ability, to improve day by day, then we are in the line of our duty. If we are seeking to remedy our own defects, if we are so living that we can ask God for light, for knowledge, for intelligence, and above all, for His Spirit, that we may overcome our weaknesses, then, I can tell you, we are in the straight and narrow path that leads to life eternal. Then we need have no fear” (Heber J. Grant, Gospel Standards, 184–85).

               “Many who have discontinued bad habits have found that substitution is part of the answer, and have conquered a bad habit by replacing it with a good or harmless one. “… it should not be construed to suggest that it is futile to start again when one has reverted to sin….“…Being a god in embryo with the seeds of godhood neatly tucked away in him, and with the power to become a god eventually, man need not despair. He should not give up…If he has had problems and slipped from the path of rectitude and right, he must stop in his headlong slipping and turn and transform himself. He must begin again. If he slips, he must regain his footing and protect himself from further slipping and return to the sin no more…If in his weakness he fails time and time again, he still should not despair but should make each new effort stronger than the last.”  Spencer W. Kimball, The Miracle of Forgiveness, p.173-174

5. Who do I need to confess to? Do I have to tell my parents, to repent? Why do I need to talk to a Bishop? Why can’t I just pray about it? What if you no longer have problems with it, and they are not an issue? What exactly do you have to confess? How much do I need to tell my Bishop? Will my bishop think differently of me when I talk to him about my sins? I’m Scared

               Confess (reveal)- “True repentance also includes confession. ... As confession lets the sickening sin empty out, then the Spirit which withdrew returns to renew....All sins are to be confessed to the Lord, some to a Church official, some to others, and some to all of these. A few may require public confession. Confessing aids forsaking. We cannot expect to sin publicly and extensively and then expect to be rescued privately and quickly, being beaten with only a few stripes (see D&C 42:88–93).” (Neal A. Maxwell, in Conference Report, Oct. 1991) Mosiah 26:29 - Confess sins with a sincerity of heart Luke 16:15-16 - Don't justify sinful practices Faith in Jesus Christ - Alma 34:16

 "We must confess and admit our sins to ourselves ... We must also confess our sins to our Heavenly Father ... grave errors such as sexual sins must be confessed to the bishop as well." (President Spencer W. Kimball, Ensign. October 1982, 4-5.)

               The confession of sin is an important element in repentance. Many offenders have seemed to feel that a few prayers to the Lord were sufficient and they have thus justified themselves in hiding their sins. The Proverbs tell us: “He that covereth his sins shall not prosper: but whoso confesseth and forsaketh them shall have mercy.” (Proverbs 28:13.) “By this ye may know if a man repenteth of his sins—behold, he will confess them and forsake them.” (D&C 58:43.)

“You always need to confess your sins to the Lord.  If they are serious transgressions, such as immorality, they need to be confessed to a Bishop or Stake President.  Please understand that confession is not repentance.  It is an essential step, but is not of itself adequate.  Partial confession by mentioning lesser mistakes will not help you resolve a more serious, undisclosed transgression. 

Essential to forgiveness is a willingness to fully disclose to the Lord and, where necessary, His priesthood judge all that you have done.”  Richard G. Scott, CR Apr. 1995

               “Some fathers don’t think they have the right to ask worthiness questions of their children. They think that is the purview of the bishop alone. Fathers, not only do you have the right to know the worthiness of your children, you have the responsibility. It is your duty to know how your children are doing with regards to their spiritual well-being and progression. You need to monitor carefully the issues and concerns they share with you. Ask specific questions of your children regarding their worthiness, and refuse to settle for anything less than specific answers.

               Too often our bishops have to instruct youth to talk to their parents about problems they are having. That procedure should actually flow the other direction. Parents should be so intimately aware of what is going on in their children’s lives that they know about the problems before the bishop does. They should be counseling with their children and going with them to their bishops if that becomes necessary for complete repentance. As divinely appointed judges in Israel, the bishop and the stake president determine worthiness and resolve concerns on behalf of the Church; but, fathers, you have an eternal responsibility for the spiritual welfare of your children.” (Elder Ballard,  The Greatest Generation of Missionaries, Oct 2002)

               “…Sin is like cancer in the body.  It will never heal itself.  It will become worse unless cured through repentance.  Your parents can help strengthen you.  Then you can become clean and pure by repentance under the guidance of the Bishop...The transgressor must have a ‘broken heart and a contrite spirit’ and be willing to humble himself and do all that is required. The confession of his major sins to a proper Church authority is one of those requirements made by the Lord. These sins include adultery, fornication, other sexual transgressions, and other sins of comparable seriousness….

               ”Many offenders in their shame and pride have satisfied their consciences, temporarily at least, with a few silent prayers to the Lord and rationalized that this was sufficient confession of their sins. ‘But I have confessed my sin to my Heavenly Father,’ they will insist, ‘and that is all that is necessary.’ This is not true where a major sin is involved. Then two sets of forgiveness are required to bring peace to the transgressor one from the proper authorities of the Lord's Church, and one from the Lord himself. Spencer W. Kimball, The Miracle of Forgiveness, p.179

Murder, Incest, (sexual relations between a parent and a child, adopted, natural, foster or stepchild.  A grandparent is considered the same as a parent.  Incest also refers to sexual relations between brothers and sisters), child abuse, apostasy, abortion,  Serious transgression is defined as a deliberate and major offense against morality.  It includes (but in not limited to) attempted murder, rape, forcible sexual abuse, intentional serious physical injury of others, adultery, fornication, homosexual relations, robbery, sale of illegal drugs (handbook)

               Bruce R. McConkie, A New Witness for the Articles of Faith, p.236 “Continuing to speak of any person in the church who transgresses, the Lord said to Alma: "If he confess his sins before thee and me, and repenteth in the sincerity of his heart him shall ye forgive, and I will forgive him also." There are thus two confessions and two sources of forgiveness. A sinner must always confess all sins, great and small, to the Lord; in addition, any sins involving moral turpitude and any serious sins for which a person might be disfellowshipped or excommunicated must also be confessed to the Lord's agent, who in most instances is the bishop. The bishop is empowered to forgive sins as far as the church is concerned, meaning that he can choose to retain the repentant person in full fellowship and not impose court penalties upon him. Ultimate forgiveness in all instances and for all sins comes from the Lord and from the Lord only.”

               “Knowing the hearts of men, and their intents, and their abilities to repent and regenerate themselves, the Lord waits to forgive until the repentance has matured. The transgressor must have a "broken heart and a contrite spirit" and be willing to humble himself and do all that is required. The confession of his major sins to a proper Church authority is one of those requirements made by the Lord. These sins include adultery, fornication, other sexual transgressions, and other sins of comparable seriousness. This procedure of confession assures proper controls and protection for the Church and its people and sets the feet of the transgressor on the path of true repentance. Spencer W. Kimball, The Miracle of Forgiveness, p.179

"Some of you who receive this message need to repent of sexual or other sins. The Savior is often referred to as the Great Physician. … From the Atonement of the Savior flows the soothing salve that can heal our spiritual wounds and remove guilt. However, this salve can only be applied through the principles of faith in the Lord Jesus Christ, repentance, and consistent obedience. The results of sincere repentance are peace of conscience, comfort, and spiritual healing and renewal.   Your bishop or branch president is the spiritual physician’s assistant who is authorized to help you repent and heal. (David A. Bednar, “We Believe in Being Chaste,” Ensign or Liahona, May 2013, 44) 

               “Each of you has a bishop, who has been ordained and set apart under the authority of the holy priesthood and who, in the excersize of his office is entitled to the inspiration of the Lord.  He is a man of experience, he is a man of understanding, he is a man who carries in his heart a love for the youth of his ward.  He is a servant of God who understands his obligation of confidentiality and who will help you with your problem.  DO NOT BE AFRAID TO TALK WITH HIM.” (Pres. Hinckley, Nov. 1983, 45)

“The bishop can help you through the repentance process in ways your parents or other leaders are unable to provide. If the sin is serious enough, he may determine that your privileges in the Church should be restricted.”....“I promise you he will not condemn you. As a servant of the Lord, he will be kind & understanding as he listens to you. He will then help you through the repentance process. He is the Lord’s messenger of mercy to help you become clean through the Atonement of Jesus Christ.”

  —Elder C. Scott Grow

               The bishop may be one's best earthly friend. He will hear the problems, judge the seriousness thereof, determine the degree of adjustment, and decide if it warrants an eventual forgiveness. He does this as the earthly representative of God, who is the master physician, the master psychologist, the master psychiatrist. If repentance is sufficient, he may waive penalties, which is tantamount to forgiveness so far as the church organization is concerned. The bishop claims no authority to absolve sins, but he does share the burden, waive penalties, relieve tension and strain, and he may assure a continuation of church activity. He will keep the whole matter most confidential...Some missionaries have foolishly carried with them their secret, unadjusted guilt into the field and have suffered seriously in the effort to get and retain the spirit of the mission. The conflict in the soul is most frustrating. But he who totally repents, voluntarily confesses, and clears his difficulty so far as possible, triumphs in his work and enjoys sweet peace. (Spencer W. Kimball, Faith Precedes the Miracle [Salt Lake City: Deseret Book Co., 1972], 182.)

               “The confession of sin is a necessary element in repentance and therefore in obtaining forgiveness.   It is one of the tests of true repentance, for, "By this ye may know if a man repenteth of his sins behold, he will confess them and forsake them." (D&C 58:43. Italics and emphasis added.)”  Spencer W. Kimball, The Miracle of Forgiveness, p.178

Confession of sin. You always need to confess your sins to the Lord. If they are serious transgressions, such as immorality, they need to be confessed to a bishop or stake president. Please understand that confession is not repentance. It is an essential step, but is not of itself adequate. Partial confession by mentioning lesser mistakes will not help you resolve a more serious, undisclosed transgression. Essential to forgiveness is a willingness to fully disclose to the Lord and, where necessary, His priesthood judge all that you have done. Remember, “He that covereth his sins shall not prosper: but whoso confesseth and forsaketh them shall have mercy.” Elder Scott

               Forgiveness is, ultimately, the Lord’s to bestow, and His relationship with the penitent sinner is critical to repentance. But young people should know that the bishop’s involvement is important, too. For the Strength of Youth says, “Priesthood leaders can assist the transgressor in the process of repentance.”  Bishops can do this, in Christlike ways, because they are acting as agents of the Lord; and He wants us to have the opportunity to associate with our bishops

There are at least five reasons why the bishop can do things for us no one else can do.

1. He loves us. One of the great gifts Heavenly Father gives his bishops is the gift of love. It fills their hearts and provides motivation for the long hours they spend in their callings. Yes, duty and testimony are also motivational. But most bishops do what they do because they care. And when you have sinned, you need all the caring support you can get.

2. He is our priesthood leader. The Lord has established an orderly way to deal with Church concerns. When we violate the laws of God, repentance requires that we report that violation to His representative. “Full repentance of some sins requires that we not only confess and resolve them with the Lord but that we also do so with the Church. The bishop and stake president have been appointed by revelation to serve as judges in these cases.”

3. He is entitled to inspiration for us. Of course, we’re entitled to inspiration for ourselves, too. But sin dulls our spiritual sensitivity. At such times it’s comforting to have someone else we can turn to for spiritual counsel.

4. He knows how to keep a confidence. The bishop is someone young people can talk to about anything, knowing that no one else is ever going to hear about it. A teenager should be able to feel that confidence with parents, too. There may be few other people a young person can trust with painful truths.

5. He wants us to succeed. It’s not because he doesn’t need another problem. He wants us to succeed because he cares about us and because he loves the Lord. If he can help us return to Christ through repentance, then he is helping the Lord accomplish His work and glory: bringing to pass “the immortality and eternal life of man.” (Moses 1:39.)

Just before I was released as bishop, I had the privilege of meeting with someone who had turned her life around. We had worked together as she sought to overcome sin, and I was proud of the changes she had made. I couldn’t think of a better way to finish my service as bishop than to be able to say to a humble, repentant soul, “It’s over. You’ve paid the price, and as far as the Church is concerned, your repentance is complete.” It was a sweet meeting, as it always is when God’s plan of repentance has been sincerely followed. (Joseph Walker Ensign July 1992)

               “Priesthood leaders play a critical role in the process of repentance. They will keep your confession confidential and help you throughout the process of repentance” (True to the Faith, 134).

               “…we can hide nothing from God. True, it is possible sometimes, by lying and evasion and half-truth, to conceal the truth from God's servants on earth, but to what purpose? It will be impossible to lie to God on judgment day, so the unrepented sins will certainly be revealed then. Far better to confess them and forsake them now, and be rid of their burden!”  Spencer W. Kimball, The Miracle of Forgiveness, p.182-183

               “Do not take comfort in the fact that your transgressions are not known by others.  That is like an ostrich with his head buried in the sand.  He sees only darkness and feels comfortable hidden.  In reality he is ridiculously conspicuous.  Likewise our every act is seen by our Father in Heaven and His Beloved Son.  They know everything about us…If you have seriously transgressed, you will not find any lasting satisfaction or comfort in what you have done.  Excusing transgression with a cover-up may appear to fix the problem, but it does not.  The tempter is intent on making public your most embarrassing acts at the most harmful time.  Lies weave a pattern that is ever more confining and becomes a trap that Satan will spring to your detriment.”  (Elder Richard G. Scott CR, April 1995, p 103)

http://www.lds.org/new-era/2013/10/why-and-what-do-i-need-to-confess-to-my-bishop?lang=eng

6. How do I avoid sexual sin and not just try to resist it? Why is Satan attacking youth with immorality? What's the difference between love and lust? How far can you go and still be good? What are the limits? What are the “sexual transgressions” that I should talk to the Bishop about? 

"It seems as if the whole world has become obsessed with sex. In a very beguiling and alluring way, it is thrown at you constantly. You are exposed to it on television, in magazines and books, in videos, even in music. Turn your back on it. Shun it. I know that is easy to say and difficult to do. But each time that you do so, it will be so much the easier the next time. What a wonderful thing it will be if someday you can stand before the Lord and say, “I am clean”.  Pres. Hinckley CR Apr 1996

“ I believe we should be like Joseph, who knew it is wiser to avoid temptation than to resist it.”  Elder Bruce C. Hafen 

“Any sexual intimacy outside the bonds of marriage – I mean ANY intentional contact with the sacred, private parts of another’s body, with or without clothing – is a sin and is forbidden by God.  It is also a transgression to intentionally stimulate these emotions within your own body… All of the sexual transgressions… require sincere repentance with the participation of the Bishop…. Richard G. Scott, CR Oct. 1994

“Never do anything that could lead to sexual transgression. Treat others with respect, not as objects used to satisfy lustful and selfish desires. Before marriage, do not participate in passionate kissing, lie on top of another person, or touch the private, sacred parts of another person’s body, with or without clothing. Do not do anything else that arouses sexual feelings. Do not arouse those emotions in your own body. Pay attention to the promptings of the Spirit so that you can be clean & virtuous. …Avoid situations that invite increased temptation, such as late-night or overnight activities away from home or activities where there is a lack of adult supervision. Do not participate in discussions or any media that arouse sexual feelings. Do not participate in any type of pornography. The Spirit can help you know when you are at risk & give you the strength to remove yourself from the situation. Have faith in & be obedient to the righteous counsel of your parents & leaders” (For the Strength of Youth 2011, 36).

“Limitless is your potential. Magnificent is your future, if you will take control of it. The best way, the only way for you, is to avoid any entrapment with evil…You have within you instincts, powerful and terribly persuasive, urging you at times to let go and experience a little fling. You must not do it. You cannot do it. You are [children] of God with tremendous potential. He has great expectations concerning you, as do others. You cannot let down for a minute. You cannot give in to an impulse. There must be discipline, strong and unbending. Flee from temptation, as Joseph fled from the wiles of Potiphar's wife. There is nothing in all this world as magnificent as virtue. It glows without tarnish. It is precious and beautiful. It is above price. It cannot be bought or sold. It is the fruit of self-mastery” ( How Can I Become the Woman of Whom I Dream? -President Gordon B. Hinckley CR 2001 )

"Immorality does not begin in adultery or perversion. It begins with little indiscretions like sex thoughts, sex discussions, passionate kissing, petting and such, growing with every exercise. The small indiscretion seems powerless compared to the sturdy body, the strong mind, the sweet spirit of youth who give way to the first temptation. But soon the strong has become weak, the master the slave, spiritual growth curtailed. But if the first unrighteous act is never given root, the tree will grow to beautiful maturity and the youthful life will grow toward God, our Father." -President Spencer W. Kimball, Ensign (CR), November 1980, p.94

“Immoral thoughts, words, and deeds always are immoral, even in cyberspace… We are all accountable to God, and ultimately we will be judged of Him according to our deeds and the desires of our hearts.” Elder David A. Bednar  |  Things as They Really Are, CES Fireside, May 3, 2009 BYU-Idaho

“Joseph was put in prison because he put God first. If we were faced with a similar choice, where would we place our first loyalty? Can we put God ahead of security, peace, passions, wealth, and the honors of men? …When Joseph was forced to choose, he was more anxious to please God than to please his employer’s wife. When we are required to choose, are we more anxious to please God than our boss, our teacher, our neighbor, or our date?” (Benson, in Conference Report, Apr. 1988, 4; or Ensign, May 1988, 4–5 ). ​

“Joseph did the very best thing he could do under the circumstances. … In today’s language—he ran.

“Maybe that doesn’t sound like a very sophisticated thing to do, but sometimes running is the only thing to do. …“It is so important that young people who are unmarried erect barriers against temptation to help them avoid the compromising situations. May I suggest a few barriers.

“1. Never go into a house alone with one of the opposite sex.

“2. Never, never enter a bedroom alone with one of the opposite sex.

“3. Do not neck or pet. …

“4. Never park on a lonely road with just the two of you alone.

“5. Do not read pornographic literature.

“6. Do not attend [movies that encourage immoral behavior]. …

“Yes, Joseph ran, and because he did, he was temporarily placed in prison, where he was shut out from society, but if he had not run, he would have been an eternal prisoner, being shut out from God perhaps forever, because he would not have been in condition to receive the necessary communications that made him the great prophet that he was” (Elder Hartman Rector Jr., in Conference Report, Oct. 1972, 172–73; or Ensign, Jan. 1973, 131).

President Spencer W. Kimball taught us to “make one-time decisions to do right.” He made important decisions early in his life so that he did not have to perpetually remake those decisions. He said, “We can push some things away from us once and have done with them … without having to brood and redecide a hundred times what it is we will do and what we will not do.” (The Teachings of Spencer W. Kimball, p. 164)

     “Why is lust such a deadly sin? Well, in addition to the completely Spirit-destroying impact it has upon our souls, I think it is a sin because it defiles the highest & holiest relationship God gives us in mortality—the love that a man & a woman have for each other & the desire that couple has to bring children into a family intended to be forever.

     Someone said once that true love must include the idea of permanence. True love endures. But lust changes as quickly as it can turn a pornographic page or glance at yet another potential object for gratification walking by, male or female. True love we are absolutely giddy about—as I am about Sister Holland; we shout it from the housetops. But lust is characterized by shame & stealth & is almost pathologically clandestine—the later & darker the hour the better, with a double-bolted door just in case. Love makes us instinctively reach out to God & other people. Lust, on the other hand, is anything but godly & celebrates self-indulgence. Love comes with open hands & open heart; lust comes with only an open appetite.” Elder Holland “Place No More for the Enemy of My Soul” 

“We are all born to be kings in the kingdom of God. Our Father is a king. Many years ago I heard the story of the son of King Louis XVI of France. King Louis had been taken from his throne and imprisoned. His young son, the prince, was taken by those who dethroned the king. They thought that inasmuch as the king’s son was heir to the throne, if they could destroy him morally, he would never realize the great and grand destiny that life had bestowed upon him.

They took him to a community far away, and there they exposed the lad to every filthy and vile thing that life could offer. They exposed him to foods the richness of which would quickly make him a slave to appetite. They used vile language around him constantly. They exposed him to lewd and lusting women. They exposed him to dishonor and distrust. He was surrounded 24 hours a day by everything that could drag the soul of a man as low as one could slip. For over six months he had this treatment—but not once did the young lad buckle under pressure. Finally, after intensive temptation, they questioned him. Why had he not submitted himself to these things—why had he not partaken? These things would provide pleasure, satisfy his lusts, and were desirable; they were all his. The boy said, “I cannot do what you ask for I was born to be a king.”

We are all born to be kings in the kingdom of God. Our Father is a king, and just as the king’s son was exposed to every vile and perverted thing in this life, so you will be exposed to much of the filth and degradation of our generation. But you Aaronic Priesthood bearers and Young Women are also born to be kings and queens, priests and priestesses. Vaughn J. Featherstone, “The King’s Son,” New Era, Nov. 1975, 35-38

Several years ago, Elder Hartman Rector, who spent twenty-six years as a navy pilot, gave an interesting analogy.  The navy had a rule that said, in effect, "Thou shalt not fly thy airplane in the trees." That makes sense.  But to ensure that he obeyed this rule, he set his own standard: "Thou shalt not fly the airplane closer than 5,000 feet to the trees." He said, "When you do this you make the navy's commandment of not flying in the trees easy to live" (Elder Hartman Rector in Conference Report, Oct. 1972, p. 172; or Ensign, Jan. 1973, p. 131).

I was close to making a mistake that would change my life forever, when suddenly I remembered a Very Important Scripture...I enrolled in a community college to take classes and get out of the house, and it was there that I met Ron. He was the friend I needed, and we soon started spending all of our time together. He was older, although he’d never been married, and he had a nice sports car, a house, and a boat. He was not a member of the Church. It was easy to forget my problems at home when I was with him, because we did so many fun things together. He even came to church with me regularly. But soon he was suggesting that we spend the night together, since that was the way his relationships usually progressed. I repeatedly told him about my religious conviction against this, but he didn’t give up. I needed a friend, and I mistakenly continued to see him. I started to weaken at the same time I knew being with him was wrong. I was weak and vulnerable, and it became easier to ignore the Spirit.

Then one night, in one of my weakest times, I started to rationalize. I believed that Ron loved me, and I knew he could take care of me. I suddenly felt very secure in his arms. Then I heard a voice in my head that said, “… fled, and got him out.” I was startled that I would remember that phrase after all that time. Then the voice seemed to come even louder, “… fled, and got him out.” Without another thought I literally fled from the room and the situation.

When my head cleared, I could see how close I had come to making a mistake that would have changed my life forever. I could see how Satan used my emotions to cloud my judgment, and I could also see how one scripture had saved my life...I’m thankful for the scriptures—especially for the one I remembered so well. (Elizabeth Cottrell, “V.I.S.,” New Era, Mar 1990,  25)

"We must confess and admit our sins to ourselves ... We must also confess our sins to our Heavenly Father ... grave errors such as sexual sins must be confessed to the bishop as well." (President Spencer W. Kimball, Ensign. October 1982, 4-5.)

https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/media/video/2011-05-0003-chastity-what-are-the-limits?lang=eng

7. What if I can’t make things right?  Can I still be forgiven? What is restitution?

 “Restoring what you cannot restore, healing the wound you cannot heal, fixing that which you broke and cannot fix is the very purpose of the atonement of Christ.

“When your desire is firm and you are willing to pay the ‘uttermost farthing’ the law of restitution is suspended.  Your obligation is transferred to the Lord.  He will settle your accounts.” President Boyd K. Packer, CR Oct.1995

“You must restore as far as possible all that which is stolen, damaged, or defiled. Willing restitution is concrete evidence to the Lord that you are committed to do all you can to repent” (Richard G. Scott, in Conference Report, Apr. 1995, 102; or Ensign, May 1995, 76).

Elder Neal A. Maxwell spoke of this reality: “Sometimes . . . restitution is not possible in real terms, such as when one contributed to another’s loss of faith or virtue. Instead, a subsequent example of righteousness provides a compensatory form of restitution” (in Conference Report, Oct. 1991, 41; or Ensign, Nov. 1991, 31).

Restitution- ‘Because he hath sinned, ... he shall restore that which he took violently away, or the thing which he hath deceitfully gotten, or that which was delivered him to keep, or the lost thing which he found’ (Leviticus 6:4). “Sometimes, however, restitution is not possible in real terms, such as when one contributed to another’s loss of faith or virtue. Instead, a subsequent example of righteousness provides a compensatory form of restitution.” Read Mosiah 27:35-36 . Restitution means…(Neal A. Maxwell, in Conference Report, Oct. 1991)

 a. Repenting in prayer to the Lord.b.Confessing to our bishop, an ordained common judge in Israel and the presiding high priest in our ward. c. Apologizing to those we have offended. (“The Lord Offers Everyone a Way Back from Sin” ROBERT D. HALES)

When one is humble in sorrow, has unconditionally abandoned the evil, and confesses to those assigned by the Lord, he should next restore insofar as possible that which was damaged. If he burglarized, he should return to the rightful owner that which was stolen. Perhaps one reason murder is unforgivable is that having taken a life, the murderer cannot restore it. Restitution in full is not always possible. Virginity is impossible to give back.

However, the truly repentant soul will usually find things that can be done to restore to some extent. The true spirit of repentance demands this. Ezekiel taught: “If the wicked . . . give again that he had robbed, walk in the statutes of life, without committing iniquity; he shall surely live. . . . “ (Ezekiel 33:15.)Moses taught:”If a man shall steal an ox, or a sheep . . . he shall restore five oxen for an ox, and four sheep for a sheep.” (Exodus 22:1.)

A pleading sinner must also forgive all people of all offenses committed against himself. The Lord is under no obligation to forgive us unless our hearts are fully purged of all hate, bitterness, and accusations against others. (Spencer W. Kimball, Faith Precedes the Miracle [Salt Lake City: Deseret Book Co., 1972], 182.)

Time to prove to ourselves, to our Lord, to our fellowmen that we have committed ourselves to a new way of life. Time to study the scriptures and dedicate our lives to the commandments we learn we must live to be happy and have joy. (Elder Hales OCT 1976)

"This transformation should cause us to be more concerned about others, even to wanting other to have the blessings we enjoy. In fact, the Lord has lovingly told us that our sins are forgiven more readily as we bring souls unto him and remain diligent in bearing testimony to the world (D&C 31:5; 84:61; James 5:20)." President Spencer W. Kimball, Ensign, October 1982,4-5.  Ezekial 33:15; Ezekiel 33:15-16 Doing the will of the Father - D&C 1:1-32,6:13; Matthew 7:16,18,20; Isaiah 1:16; Jeremiah 35:15; 

8. How do you forgive yourself?  How will I know when I am forgiven? I’ve done everything I can to repent.  Why do I still feel guilty? How long will it take before I’m forgiven? And the sin is forgotten?

D&C 58:42-43…..Alma 36:18-22; Mosiah 27:28,29,32, Ezekiel 18:21-22; 30-32

               You can change anything you want to change and you can do it very fast. That’s another Satanic deception that it takes years and years to repent. It takes exactly as long to repent as it takes you to say, “I’ll change”—and mean it. Of course there will be problems to work out and restitutions to make. You may well spend—indeed you had better spend—the rest of your life proving your repentance is genuine by its permanence. But change, growth, renewal, repentance can come for you as instantaneously as it did for Alma and the Sons of Mosiah. Even if you have serious amends to make, it is not likely that you would qualify for the term “the vilest of sinners” (Mosiah 28:4) which is Mormon’s phrase in describing these young men. Yet as Alma recounts his own experience in the 36th chapter of Alma [Alma 36] it appears to have been as instantaneous as it was stunning. Do not misunderstand. Repentance is not easy or painless or convenient. It is a bitter cup from hell. But only Satan who dwells there would have you think that the necessary and temporary discomfort of acknowledging your sins is more distasteful than permanent residence there. Only he would say, “You can’t change. You won’t change. It’s too long and too hard to change. Give up. Give in. Don’t repent. You are just the way you are.” That, my friends, is a lie which comes from desperation. Don’t believe it….Immerse yourself in the scriptures. You will find your own experiences described there. You will find spirit and strength there. You will find solutions and counsel. Nephi says, “The words of Christ will tell you all things (that) you should do” (2 Ne. 32:3). (Elder Holland, For Times of Trouble)

“Save for the exception of the very few who defect to perdition, there is no habit, no addiction, no rebellion, no transgression, no apostasy, no crime exempted from the promise of complete forgiveness. That is the promise of the Atonement of Christ. …“… Do not give up if at first you fail. … Do not give up. That brilliant morning will come.” (President Packer, “The Brilliant Morning of Forgiveness,” Ensign, Nov. 1995, 20.)

“Love is a necessary precursor to being able to forgive oneself. As we develop an overpowering love of and gratitude for Jesus for His willingness to forgive us, we earnestly desire to come unto Him—to study His life and teachings and act upon them so that we become more like Him. As we do that, our own capacity to love grows to the point that we can indeed love and forgive ourselves and others….”

“Forgetting is part of forgiving. But forgiving oneself involves a special kind of forgetting. We don’t forget the sin and its effects; rather, the memory ceases to be part of how we see ourselves. For example, when Alma had been forgiven of his sins, he said, “I was harrowed up by the memory of my sins no more” (Alma 36:19). The fact that he could describe his repentance to his son Helaman showed that a memory was still there. But through Christ’s Atonement and forgiveness, that memory lost its edge of guilt and self-recrimination.”

“We must keep sin in its proper perspective. Satan would convince us that we are defined by our sins. He would have had the repentant W. W. Phelps see himself always as a traitor. He would convince someone who has stolen that he is and always will be a thief.”

“The Savior, in contrast, would have us understand that we have sins that need to be cleansed, but we are much more than those stains. If I spill ketchup on my shirt, I have a stain. Perhaps it is right in front where everyone can see it. But while I have a stain, I am not the stain. I need to recognize that there is a good deal of my shirt that is clean and white. I believe that God sees the white shirt—the goodness in His children—and offers, through Christ, to remove the stains. If we obsess about the stain, however, it will become who we are in our minds and then in our actions.” (Elder D. Chad Richardson, Forgiving Oneself, Mar, 2007)

               “Choose to believe in the Atonement of Jesus Christ. Accept the Savior’s forgiveness, and then forgive yourself. Because of His sacrifice for you, He has the power to ‘remember [your sins] no more’ (D&C 58:42). You must do likewise.”. (Elder Robert D. Hales, “To Act for Ourselves: The Gift and Blessings of Agency,” Ensign, May 2006, 7)

Example: Alma the Younger “… I cried within my heart: O Jesus, thou Son of God, have mercy on me, who am in the gall of bitterness, and am encircled about by the everlasting chains of death.“ And now, behold, when I thought this, I could remember my pains no more; yea, I was harrowed up by the memory of my sins no more.“ And oh, what joy, and what marvelous light I did behold; yea, my soul was filled with joy as was exceeding as was my pain!” “Yea, and from that time even until now, I have labored without ceasing, that I might bring souls unto repentance…”                Alma 36:18-20, 24

               “If we have sincerely repented and put ourselves in proper condition, we shall be forgiven, and spiritual healing will come to our souls. . . . You feel the wounds of the spirit being healed, and the load being lifted. Comfort and happiness come” (“The Sacramental Covenant,” New Era, Jan. 1976, 8 Melvin J. Ballard.

               “If the time comes when you have done all that you can to repent of your sins, whoever you are, wherever you are, and have made amends and restitution to the best of your ability; if it be something that will affect your standing in the Church and you have gone to the proper authorities, then you will want that confirming answer as to whether or not the Lord has accepted of you. In your soul-searching, if you seek for and you find that peace of conscience, by that token you may know that the Lord has accepted of your repentance. Satan would have you think otherwise and sometimes persuade you that now having made one mistake, you might go on and on with no turning back. That is one of the great falsehoods” (President Harold B. Lee, “Stand Ye in Holy Places,” Ensign, July 1973, 122).

               “Satan will try to make us believe that our sins are not forgiven because we can remember them. Satan is a liar; he tries to blur our vision and lead us away from the path of repentance and forgiveness. God did not promise that we would not remember our sins. Remembering will help us avoid making the same mistakes again. But if we stay true and faithful, the memory of our sins will be softened over time. This will be part of the needed healing and sanctification process. Alma testified that after he cried out to Jesus for mercy, he could still remember his sins, but the memory of his sins no longer distressed and tortured him, because he knew he had been forgiven (see Alma 36:17–19). “It is our responsibility to avoid anything that would bring back old sinful memories. When we continue to have a ‘broken heart and a contrite spirit’ (3 Nephi 12:19), we may trust that God will ‘remember [our sins] no more’” (President Dieter F. Uchtdorf “Point of Safe Return,” Ensign May 2007, 101).

               “…repentance has to be sincere, but when it is and when honest effort is being made to progress, we are guilty of the greater sin if we keep remembering and recalling and rebashing someone with his or her earlier mistakes—and that someone might be ourselves. We can be so hard on ourselves—often much more so than on others!  Now, like the Anti-Nephi-Lehies of the Book of Mormon, bury your weapons of war and leave them buried.  Forgive and do that which is sometimes harder than to forgive: forget. And when it comes to mind again, forget it again.”   Elder Jeffrey R. Holland   (Ensign Jan. 2010, 16-21)

               “Unfortunately this is not an isolated case.  Others, to my knowledge, are burdened by past mistakes, large and small, because of incomplete or incorrect understanding of our Father’s plan of redemption and mercy… “One who assumes that he can or must pay the price for his sins and thereby earn divine forgiveness will not feel free to continue progress toward…eternal life.  “The fact is we cannot save ourselves. Enos recorded for us his experience… [After praying] there came a voice unto me, saying: thy sins are forgiven thee… Wherefore my guilt was swept away.  And I said: Lord, how is it done?  And He said unto me: Because of thy faith in Christ” (Enos 1:4-8)  Elder Ronald E. Poelman, CR, Oct. 1993

               “The great morning of forgiveness may not come at once.  Don’t give up if at first you fail..  Often the most difficult part of repentance is to forgive yourself.  Discouragement is a part of that test.  Do not give up.  That brilliant morning will come.

“Then ‘the peace of God, which passeth… understanding’ comes into your life once again.  Then you, like Him, will remember your sins no more.  How will you know?  You will know!”  Boyd K. Packer, CR, Oct. 1995

               “As soon as one has an inner conviction of his sins, he should go to the Lord in “mighty prayer” as did Enos and never cease his supplications until he shall, like Enos, receive the assurance that his sins have been forgiven by the Lord.  It is unthinkable that God absolves serious sins upon a few requests.  He is likely to wait until there has been long, sustained repentance as evidenced by a willingness to comply with all his other requirements.”  Spencer W. Kimball, Teachings of, p.85

https://www.lds.org/media-library/video/2014-04-004-the-savior-wants-to-forgive?lang=eng

9. If I still feel angry toward someone am I truly forgiven? Is resentment bad?

               Forgiveness is the perfect antidote for the poison of resentment. It neutralizes our hurt feelings and makes room in our hearts for love to flourish and grow. President Boyd K. Packer of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles taught: “All of us carry excess baggage around from time to time, but the wisest ones among us don’t carry it for very long. They get rid of it. … Often … the things we carry are petty, even stupid. … If you resent someone for something he has done—or failed to do—forget it. We call that forgiveness. It is powerful, spiritual medicine.”3   (Richard Miller Ensign, Sept 2011)

               “In the process of repentance we must restore completely where possible, otherwise restore to the maximum degree attainable. And through it all we must remember that the pleading sinner, desiring to make restitution for his acts, must also forgive others of all offenses committed against him. The Lord will not forgive us unless our hearts are fully purged of all hate, bitterness and accusation against our fellowmen.”   Spencer W. Kimball, The Miracle of Forgiveness, p.200

               “It is extremely hurtful for any man holding the Priesthood, and enjoying the gift of the Holy Ghost, to harbor a spirit of envy, or malice, or retaliation, or intolerance toward or against his fellowmen. We ought to say in our hearts, let God judge between me and thee, but as for me, I will forgive. I want to say to you that Latter-day Saints who harbor a feeling of unforgiveness in their souls are more guilty and more censurable than the one who has sinned against them. Go home and dismiss envy and hatred from your hearts; dismiss the feeling of unforgiveness; and cultivate in your souls that spirit of Christ which cried out upon the cross, ‘Father, forgive them; for they know not what they do.’ This is the spirit that Latter-day Saints ought to possess all the day long. The man who has that spirit in his heart and keeps it there will never have any trouble with his neighbor; he will never have any difficulties to bring before the bishop, nor high council; but he will always be at peace with himself, at peace with his neighbors, and at peace with God. It is a good thing to be at peace with God” (Smith,Gospel Doctrine, 255–56).

“Anger, if not restrained, is frequently more [destructive] than the injury that provokes it.”4 But the miracle of reconciliation is always available to us, and out of love for his family and the Church he knew to be true, Morrell Bowen came back into full Church activity....“If ye … desire to come unto me,” He said, “and rememberest that thy brother hath aught against thee—

“Go thy way unto thy brother, and first be reconciled to [him], and then come unto me with full purpose of heart, and I will receive you.”Surely each of us could cite an endless array of old scars and sorrows and painful memories that this very moment still corrode the peace in someone’s heart or family or neighborhood. Whether we have caused that pain or been the recipient of the pain, those wounds need to be healed so that life can be as rewarding as God intended it to be. Like the food in your refrigerator that your grandchildren carefully check in your behalf, those old grievances have long since exceeded their expiration date. Please don’t give precious space in your soul to them any longer.

...With the apostolic authority granted me by the Savior of the world, I testify of the tranquility to the soul that reconciliation with God and each other will bring if we are meek and courageous enough to pursue it.  Elder Holland https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/general-conference/2018/10/the-ministry-of-reconciliation?lang=eng

President Nelson's 5 min story of forgiveness. This is so good!

https://www.facebook.com/russell.m.nelson/videos/the-joy-of-forgiving-others/567466448697358/

10. What if I am addicted to Pornography or a substance? How can I better cope with life problems? Is there anything that is totally unforgivable? 

              "Consider how many people in secret chambers are seeking to destroy your life and happiness! Carnal temptation is not new. The Apostle Peter warned of this same snare when he wrote: “They allure through the lusts of the flesh … those that were clean. …“While they promise them liberty, they themselves are the servants of corruption: for of whom a man is overcome, of the same is he brought in bondage” (2 Peter 2:18–19).

Avoid that bondage, my beloved brothers and sisters. If you are currently viewing pornography, stop it now! Seek help from your bishop. None are smart enough to outwit the adversary on their own once they have been poisoned by pornography. It is as destructive as leprosy, as addictive as meth, and as corrosive as lye." https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/ensign/2015/01/what-will-you-choose?lang=eng

“Save for those few who defect to perdition after having known a fullness, there is no habit, no addiction, no rebellion, no transgression, no offense exempted from the promise of complete forgiveness.”  Boyd K. Packer, CR, Oct. 1995

               “Pornography, with its sleazy filth, sweeps over the earth like a horrible, engulfing tide. It is poison. Do not watch it or read it. It will destroy you if you do. It will take from you your self-respect. It will rob you of a sense of the beauties of life. It will tear you down and pull you into a slough of evil thoughts and possibly of evil actions. Stay away from it. Shun it as you would a foul disease, for it is just as deadly” (Gordon B. Hinckley, “Some Thoughts on Temples, Retention of Converts, and Missionary Service,” Ensign, Nov. 1997, 51).

               “The Savior wants to forgive…No one need suppose that this forgiveness comes without repentance. Indeed, the Lord has declared, “I, the Lord, forgive sins unto those who confess their sins before me and ask forgiveness,” …While the Lord “cannot look upon sin with the least degree of allowance,”… With regard to repeated serious sexual sin, He makes known the increased difficulty of receiving His forgiveness. And He has said that “he who sins against the greater light shall receive the greater condemnation.” Yet, in His mercy, He allows for improvement over time rather than demanding immediate perfection. Even with the multitude of sins occasioned by the weakness of mortality, as often as we repent and seek His forgiveness, He forgives again and again.

Because of this, all of us, including those struggling to overcome addictive behaviors such as substance abuse or pornography and those close to them, can know that the Lord will recognize our righteous efforts and will lovingly forgive when repentance is complete, “until seventy times seven.” But this does not mean one may willingly return to sin with impunity.

"Immorality does not begin in adultery or perversion. It begins with little indiscretions like sex thoughts, sex discussions, passionate kissing, petting and such, growing with every exercise. The small indiscretion seems powerless compared to the sturdy body, the strong mind, the sweet spirit of youth who give way to the first temptation. But soon the strong has become weak, the master the slave, spiritual growth curtailed. But if the first unrighteous act is never given root, the tree will grow to beautiful maturity and the youthful life will grow toward God, our Father." -President Spencer W. Kimball, Ensign (CR), November 1980, p.94

“Immoral thoughts, words, and deeds always are immoral, even in cyberspace… We are all accountable to God, and ultimately we will be judged of Him according to our deeds and the desires of our hearts.” Elder David A. Bednar  |  Things as They Really Are, CES Fireside, May 3, 2009 BYU-Idaho

The Lord is always interested in our hearts, and rationalized false faith does not justify sin…His compassion and grace do not excuse us when “[our] hearts are not satisfied. And [we] obey not the truth, but have pleasure in unrighteousness.” Rather, after we do all we can do, His compassion and grace are the means whereby “in process of time” we overcome the world through the enabling power of the Atonement. As we humbly seek this precious gift, “weak things become strong unto [us],” and by His strength, we are made able to do that which we could never do alone.” (Elder Cardon The Savior Wants to Forgive, GC 2013)

"Satan knows that those powerful emotions can be aroused by things you could see, hear, or touch. When stirred, those emotions can be used to lead one to destructive experimentation, then to serious transgressions. He uses pornography through videotapes, movies, magazines, computer images, or contaminated music for this purpose. Close your eyes, ears, mind, and heart to it. Unchecked, it would surely grow unrelentingly from initial curiosity step-by-step to become a raging monster. That demon would wreck wholesome desires, worthy companionship, noble thoughts and acts until it could destroy you. Don’t lift the cover of salacious material in any form, and you will not be captured by it. If you have become entangled in that devastating web, stop immediately and seek help. Ask the Lord to guide you to that help and give you the strength to overcome that addictive habit.Elder Richard G. Scott, The Power of Righteousness, Ensign (CR), November 1998, p.68

               "Those who struggle with sin sometimes lie and rationalize in an attempt to minimize the consequences of their behavior. But somewhere inside themselves, they are aware of what they have done and know they are accountable for it. They know they are in spiritual bondage. Almost everyone I have met struggling with addiction suffers from a terrible sense of shame and a belief that he or she is broken, defective, and beyond the love and grace of God...I have observed in my work as a counselor and in life in general that too many of us focus on the problem we face and how horrific it is. To some degree, it is good to realize the tendency of addictions to destroy lives and ruin relationships. There is a time and a place for warning our neighbors (see D&C 88:81), and recognition can help “harrow up” our consciences and lead us to repentance (see Alma 36:17–18). But when we spend so much time describing the attacking “serpent” that we fail to see the source of healing, we’re not much different than the Israelites. The children of Israel did not have to focus on the serpents or the pain of their venomous bites or their fear of death in order to be healed. They simply had to look to the source of healing: their Savior, Jesus Christ…But this belief, in my experience, is far from the truth. Usually I find that those who struggle with addictions are warriors with tenacity, courage, and a strong desire to be clean. They win far more battles than they lose as they march toward recovery.

This may be hard for some to comprehend—if people are so strong, why is overcoming addiction so difficult? Addiction is often misunderstood, and some believe that if a person would simply choose to recover or work harder at stopping, he or she would be able to. But the nature of addiction—and all sin, for that matter—is such that we cannot heal ourselves from it. The children of Israel could not heal themselves from the bites of the fiery serpents, and we cannot simply wish or even work addiction away. We must find our hope of healing in Christ.

Addiction brings heavy burdens of secrets and pain. It usually doesn’t take people long to want to stop. They tell themselves “never again,” yet time after time, they fall. Such succumbing can bring with it a “hardness of heart,” a refusal to believe that anything can help them.

Others may harden their hearts by becoming frustrated when, despite their best efforts, the Savior doesn’t seem to be healing them. They have counseled with their priesthood leaders, fasted and prayed with real intent, attended the temple, received priesthood blessings, and experienced promptings and comfort from the Holy Ghost—all without feeling that the Savior has healed them. Preach My Gospel addresses this very concern regarding addictive behaviors: “Repentance may involve an emotional and physical process. … Both repentance and recovery may take time. … Even though a person may have some initial success, further emotional healing may be necessary to completely repent and recover.”

It takes faith, hope, and time to heal from the patterns of self-deception, isolation, and secrecy that nearly always accompany addiction. We can take counsel from Nephi to “press forward with a steadfastness in Christ, having a perfect brightness of hope” (2 Nephi 31:20) that He can heal—and is healing—us. We need to not give up or decide that because temptations and cravings return, there is no hope in Christ. To those who will not look because they feel no hope, I say that there is hope in Christ. He is the hope of recovery. (By Benjamin R. Erwin Ensign Sept. 2012)

               “The solutions to life’s problems are always gospel solutions. Not only are answers found in Christ, but so is the power, the gift, the bestowal, the miracle of giving and receiving those answers.” (Elder Jeffrey R. Holland of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles, “How Do I Love Thee?” in Brigham Young University 1999–2000 Speeches (2000), Feb. 15, 2000.)

               “We need to bear in mind that people can change. They can put behind them bad habits. They can repent from transgressions.… We can help them to overcome their shortcomings. We must develop the capacity to see men not as they are at present but as they may become.” (President Monson, “See Others as They May Become,” Ensign or Liahona, Nov. 2012, 68, 69)

Pornography and addiction videos:

https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/media/collection/pornography-and-addiction-topic?lang=eng

https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/addressing-pornography?lang=eng

Leave the party: https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/media/video/2013-11-0005-leave-the-party?lang=eng

 What to do when I see it? https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/media/video/2015-08-0001-what-should-i-do-when-i-see-pornography?lang=eng

Watch your step: https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/media/video/2011-07-0013-watch-your-step?lang=eng

King David's fall https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/media/video/2011-03-0020-to-look-upon?lang=eng

Chastity:

https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/media/collection/chastity-topic?lang=eng&collectionId=bd59191796027fc53f46f5811862b4ff2baaa3b2

Landscape of the Mind

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XwYASU-YVcw&ab_channel=TheChurchofJesusChristofLatter-daySaints

11. When do you know if you are worthy or not worthy to take the sacrament? How does the sacrament help?

               “When we are not living the commandments, when we are in transgression, when we have angers and hatreds and bitterness, we should consider seriously if we should take the sacrament.” (Spencer W. Kimball, Teachings of, p.225

               “What does it mean to partake of the sacrament worthily?  Or how do we know if we are unworthy?  If we desire to improve (which is to repent) and are not under priesthood restriction, then, in my opinion, we are worthy…. If, however, we refuse to repent and improve, if we do not remember him and keep his commandments, then we have stopped our growth, and that is damnation to our souls.  The sacrament is an intensely personal experience, and we are the ones who knowingly are worthy or otherwise.” (John H. Groberg, Ensign, May1989, p.38)

               “…Sometimes that strength is not within us, but it can be found in remembering the Atonement of our Savior, Jesus Christ. When trust is betrayed, dreams shattered, hearts broken and broken again, when we want justice and need mercy, when our fists clench and our tears flow, when we need to know what to hold onto and what to let go of, we can always remember Him. Life is not as cruel as it can sometimes seem. His infinite compassion can help us find our way, truth, and life.” (Elder Gong, APRIL 2016 | Always Remember Him)

Talks:

https://www.lds.org/topics/sacrament?lang=eng

https://www.lds.org/general-conference/2016/10/the-sacrament-can-help-us-become-holy?lang=eng

https://www.lds.org/general-conference/2014/10/the-sacrament-a-renewal-for-the-soul?lang=eng

12. Am I worth it? Can I be clean again? Is it worth it? What blessings?

               "Whether you are diligently moving along the covenant path, have slipped or stepped from the covenant path, or can’t even see the path from where you are now, I plead with you to repent. Experience the strengthening power of daily repentance—of doing and being a little better each day. When we choose to repent, we choose to change! We allow the Savior to transform us into the best version of ourselves. We choose to grow spiritually and receive joy—the joy of redemption in Him.8 When we choose to repent, we choose to become more like Jesus Christ! -President Nelson https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/general-conference/2019/04/36nelson?lang=eng

"When we realize that Jesus has paid the price of sin, he becomes the hope of our hearts. More than this, we also become aware that his is kindness to those who fall. I believe that our awareness of this kindness is essential. Too often, in well-meaning attempts at encouraging obedience, we stress the punishment that will eventually come to sinners, and we understate the extent of Christ's mercy." Todd A. Britsch, Ensign. April 1986,12-13.

“It is not expected that you go through life without making mistakes, but you will not make a major mistake without first being warned by the promptings of the Spirit. This promise applies to all members of the Church. “Some will make critically serious mistakes, transgressing the laws of the gospel. Here it is time to remind you of the Atonement, repentance, and complete forgiveness to the point that you can become pure again. The Lord said, “Behold, he who has repented of his sins, the same is forgiven, and I, the Lord, remember them no more.”13

               “If the adversary should take you prisoner due to misconduct, I remind you that you hold the key that will unlock the prison door from the inside. You can be washed clean through the atoning sacrifice of the Savior Jesus Christ. “You may in time of trouble think that you are not worth saving because you have made mistakes, big or little, and you think you are now lost. That is never true! Only repentance can heal what hurts, no matter what it is.

               “If you are slipping into things that you should not slip into or if you are associating with people who are pulling you away in the wrong direction, that is the time to assert your independence, your agency. Listen to the voice of the Spirit, and you will not be led astray…. as a servant of the Lord, I promise that you will be protected and shielded from the attacks of the adversary if you will heed the promptings that come from the Holy Spirit. (President Packer October 2011 Counsel to Youth)

               "For behold, this is my work and my glory—to bring to pass the immortality and eternal life of man." (Moses 1:39.)“…It thus becomes the overall responsibility of man to cooperate fully with the Eternal God in accomplishing this objective. To this end God created man to live in mortality and endowed him with the potential to perpetuate the race, to subdue the earth, to perfect himself and to become as God, omniscient and omnipotent.

Spencer W. Kimball, The Miracle of Forgiveness, p.2,4

               Alma 36:21 - There can be nothing so exquisite and sweet as was my joy Alma 26:22 - Will know the mysteries of God Ether 12:27 - Weak things will become strong Luke 15: joy will come to those that repent of their sins. Jeremiah 31:34 - The Lord will forgive iniquity and remember sins no more Isaiah 58:8-9,11 - Then shall thy light break forth as the morning, and thine health shall spring forth speedily: and they righteousness shall go before thee . .. Then shalt thou call, and the Lord shall answer; thou shalt cry and he shall say, Here I am ... And the Lord shall guide thee continually, and satisfy they soul in drought, and make fat thy bones: and thou shalt be like a watered garden, and like a spring of water, whose waters fail not. Isaiah 1:18 - Come now ... though your sins be as scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they be red like crimson, they shall be as wool.

               "When we repent, we are better able to develop the divine nature within us by being freed from wrong or harmful thoughts and actions which assists us to become more Christ like." James K. Lyon, Mormon Encyclopedia. 1216-1218.

               "Sin is like cancer in the body. It will never heal itself. It will become progressively worse unless cured through the medicine of repentance. You can be made completely whole, new, purified, and clean every whit, through the miracle of repentance." Richard G. Scott, Ensign, May 1989, 39.

               "Brothers and Sisters, we must take our sins to the Lord in ... repentance. We must plead with Him for power to overcome them. The promises are sure. He will come to our aid. We will find the power to change our lives." President Ezra Taft Benson,  Ensign. October 1989, 2-5.

               'True repentance, while seldom easy, is essential to personal happiness, emotional and spiritual growth, and eternal salvation. It is the only efficacious way for mortals to free themselves of the permanent effects of sin"(physical, emotional, and spiritual). lames K. Lyon. Mormon Encyclopedia. 1216-1218.

13. Does repentance have to hurt? How can I gain a desire to repent and have the spirit again? Why is it so hard? What if you know the church’s standards, but you don’t feel bad about doing it? 

               "I would like to stress what the scriptures term "godly sorrow" for our sins. It is not uncommon to find men and women in the world who feel remorse for the things they do wrong. Sometimes this is because their actions cause them or loved ones great sorrow and misery. Sometimes their sorrow is caused because they are caught and punished for their actions. Such worldly feelings do not constitute "godly sorrow." Godly sorrow is a gift of the Spirit. It is a deep realization that our actions have offended our Father and our God. Such a spirit is the absolute prerequisite for true repentance." (Genesis 6:6, Moses 8:25, 3Nephi 9-20, Moroni 6:2, D&C 20:37, D&C 59:8, Psalms 34:18,51:17; Isaiah 57:15; 2 Corinthians 7:9-10.) (President Ezra Taft Benson, Ensign. October 1989,2-5.)

               Remorse- After recognition, real remorse floods the soul. This is a “godly sorrow,” not merely the “sorrow of the world” nor the “sorrowing of the damned,” when we can no longer “take happiness in sin.” (2 Cor. 7:10; Morm. 2:13.) False remorse instead is like “fondling our failings.” In ritual regret, we mourn our mistakes but without mending them. (Elder Maxwell Ensign May 1991, 88)

               To be sorry for our sin, we must know something of its serious implications. When fully convicted, we condition our minds to follow such processes as will rid us of the effects of the sin. We are sorry. We are willing to make amends, pay penalties, to suffer even excommunication, if necessary. Paul wrote: “For godly sorrow worketh repentance to salvation not to be repented of; but the sorrow of the world worketh death.” (2 Corinthians 7:10.) If one is sorry only because his sin was uncovered, his repentance is not complete. Godly sorrow causes one to harness desire and to determine to do right regardless of consequences; this kind of sorrow brings righteousness and will work toward forgiveness. (Spencer W. Kimball, Faith Precedes the Miracle [Salt Lake City: Deseret Book Co., 1972], 182.)

Spencer W. Kimball, The Miracle of Forgiveness, p.150--The First Step “Before the many elements of repentance are set in motion there has to be a first step. That first step is the turning point at which the sinner consciously recognizes his sin. This is the awakening, the conviction of guilt. Without this there can be no true repentance because there is no acknowledgment of sin.”

               Any pain entailed in repentance will always be far less than the suffering required to satisfy justice for unresolved transgression.  (see D&C19:16-18) Elder Christofferson, The Divine Gift of Repentance, Oct. 2011

 “…Peace comes only through forgiveness.  But forgiveness has a high price.”  Gospel Principles, p243

"One has not begun to repent until he has suffered intensely for his sins. … "We must remember that repentance is more than just saying, 'I am sorry.' It is more than tears in one's eyes.  “It is more than a half a dozen prayers. Repentance means suffering. If a person hasn't suffered, he hasn't repented"  (The Teachings of Spencer W. Kimball, ed. Edward L. Kimball [1982], 88, 99.)

“To  every forgiveness there is a condition. The plaster must be as wide as the sore. The fasting, the prayers, the humility must be equal to or greater than the sin.  There must be a broken heart and a contrite spirit….There must also be tears and genuine change of heart.  There must be conviction of the sin, abandonment of the evil, confession of the error to properly constituted authorities of the Lord” Spencer W. Kimball, The Miracle of Forgiveness, p353

“The depth of our repentance must be as deep as the sin we have committed. There is no easy way. It hurts, but it also cleanses.” (Elder Hales OCT 1976)

               “Repentance becomes more difficult as sin is more wilful; it is by humility and contrition of the heart that sinners may increase their faith in God, and so obtain from Him the gift of repentance. As the time of repentance is procrastinated, the ability to repent grows weaker; neglect of opportunity in holy things develops inability” (James E. Talmage, The Articles of Faith, 114).

               Under the humiliation of a guilty conscience, with the possibility of detection and consequent scandal and shame, with a striving spirit urging toward adjustment, the first steps of sorrow, abandonment, confession, and restitution must now be followed by the never-ending requirement of doing the commandments. Obviously this can hardly be done in a day, a week, a month, or a year. This is an effort extending through the balance of life. "Unto the end" is an often-used phrase in the scriptures.

If thou wilt do good, yea, and hold out faithful to the end, thou shalt be saved in the kingdom of God. . . . (D&C 6:13.) . . . he only is saved who endureth unto the end. . . . (D&C 53:7.) (Spencer W. Kimball, Faith Precedes the Miracle [Salt Lake City: Deseret Book Co., 1972], 182.)

“Sometimes in our repentance, in our daily efforts to become more Christlike, we find ourselves repeatedly struggling with the same difficulties. As if we were climbing a tree-covered mountain, at times we don’t see our progress until we get closer to the top & look back from the high ridges. Don’t be discouraged. If you are striving & working to repent, you are in the process of repenting.” —Elder Neil L. Andersen

"We must be careful, as we seek to become more and more godlike, that we do not become discouraged and lose hope. Most repentance does not involve a sensational or dramatic change, but rather a step-by-step, steady, and consistent movement toward godliness. The scriptures record remarkable accounts of men whose lives changed dramatically, in an instant, as it were ... but we must be cautious as we discuss these remarkable examples. Though they are real and powerful, they are the exception more than the rule. For every Paul, for every Enos, and for every King Lamoni, there are hundreds and thousands of people who find the process of repentance much more subtle, much more imperceptible. Day by day they move closer to the Lord ... they live quiet lives of goodness, service, and commitment. They are like the Lamanites, who the Lord said "were baptized with fire and with the Holy Ghost, and they knew it not (2Nephi 9:20)." (President Ezra Taft Benson, Ensign. October 1989,2-5.)

14. Is it your fault if you get raped or sexually abused?

               “Women who are forcibly raped are under no condemnation from the Lord.”  ~ Gospel Principles, p240 “Victims of rape, incest, or other sexual abuse are not guilty of sin.  If you have been a victim of any of these terrible crimes, be assured that God still loves you!  Your bishop can also help and guide you through the mental and emotional healing process if you seek his advice and counsel.” ~(For the Strength of Youth, p15-16)

15. Can anyone change/repent multiple times? What if I sin and repent and then sin again…?

Mosiah 26: 30 “Yea, and as often as my people repent will I forgive them their trespasses against me.”…..D&C 82:7…..Proverbs 26:11 As a dog returneth to his vomit, so a fool returneth to his folly.

“We need to continue getting up each time we fall, with a desire to keep growing and progressing despite our weaknesses. In our weakness, [the Savior] reassures us, ‘My grace is sufficient.’” Elder Lynn G. Robbins, 2018

“Satan can also attack us where we think we are strong—in the very areas where we are proud of our strengths. He will approach us through the greatest talents and spiritual gifts we possess. If we are not wary, Satan can cause our spiritual downfall by corrupting us through our strengths as well as by exploiting our weaknesses.” -Elder Dallin H. Oaks of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles. 

“For those who are truly repentant but seem unable to feel relief: continue keeping the commandments. I promise you, relief will come in the timetable of the Lord. Healing requires time.”

  —Elder Neil L. Andersen

We are commanded to forsake sin. If we sin again after repenting, our former sins return (see D&C 82:7).

               “By giving in over and over to the same sin, you cease to learn and grow from the experience of repentance. Instead you become discouraged with yourself and your weakness. It is time to turn to the Lord and ask for his help in changing your heart and having the strength to stick with your resolve. It is normal for children to try. They fall and get up numerous times before they can be certain of their footing. But adults, who have gone through these learning periods, must determine what they will do, then proceed to do it. To ‘try’ is weak. To ‘do the best I can’ is not strong. We must always do better than we can. … We have a companion who has promised: ‘Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you’ (Matt. 7:7)” (Miracle of Forgiveness, pp. 164–65). You can accomplish anything with the help of your Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ, particularly something so significant as repentance.

Forsake- “In real repentance, there is the actual forsaking of sinning. ‘Repent, and turn yourselves from all your transgressions; so iniquity shall not be your ruin’ ( Ezekiel 18:30 ).... “Thus, when ‘a man repenteth of his sins—behold, he will confess them and forsake them’ ( D&C 58:43). (Neal A. Maxwell, in Conference Report, Oct. 1991)

D&C 58:43; John 8:11 "In the process of abandoning sin, it is often necessary to abandon persons, places, things, and situations that are associated with the transgression. This is fundamental." President Spencer W. Kimball, Ensign. October 1982, 4-5.

               “There is one crucial test of repentance. This is abandonment of the sin. Providing that a person discontinues his sin with the right motives—because of a growing consciousness of the gravity of the sin and a willingness to comply with the laws of the Lord—he is genuinely repenting” (Kimball, Miracle of Forgiveness, 163).

               One discontinues his error when he has a full realization of the gravity of his sin and when he is willing to comply with the laws of God. The thief may abandon his evil in prison, but true repentance would have him forsake it before his arrest and return his booty without enforcement. The sex offender as well as any other transgressor who voluntarily ceases his unholy practices is headed toward forgiveness. “By this ye may know if a man repenteth of his sins—behold, he will . . . forsake them.” (D&C 58:43.)

The discontinuance must be a permanent one. True repentance does not permit repetition. Peter said: For if after they have escaped the pollutions of the world . . . they are again entangled therein. . . . it had been better for them not to have known the way of righteousness, than, after they have known it, to turn from the holy commandment. . . . [as the] dog is turned to his own vomit again; and the sow that was washed to her wallowing in the mire. (2 Peter 2:20-22.) Forgiveness is not assured if one reverts to early sins. The Lord said:. . . go your ways and sin no more; but unto that soul who sinneth shall the former sins return. . . . (D&C 82:7.) (Spencer W. Kimball, Faith Precedes the Miracle [Salt Lake City: Deseret Book Co., 1972], 182.)

               “True repentance is not only sorrow for sins, and humble penitence and contrition before God, but it involves the necessity of turning away from them, a discontinuance of all evil practices and deeds, a thorough reformation of life, a vital change from evil to good, from vice to virtue, from darkness to light. Not only so, but to make restitution, so far as it is possible, for all the wrongs we have done, to pay our debts, and restore to God and man their rights—that which is due to them from us” (Joseph F. Smith, Gospel Doctrine, 100).

               “Surely the Lord was speaking about forgiveness through repentance, and the relief that could come from the tenseness of guilt, when he followed his glorious prayer to his Father with this sublime entreaty and promise:

               ‘Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. ‘Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls. ‘For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light’ (Matt. 11:28–30)” (Miracle of Forgiveness, p. 368).

               Then when you have given up the sin that has bothered you and fully repented, the time will come when you will be like the people in King Benjamin’s time. They were no longer inclined to do evil (see Mosiah 5:2). The joy and freedom of full repentance will be yours.

16. How can I help others without getting into temptation myself?  

               President Harold B. Lee (1899–1973) said: “You cannot lift another soul until you are standing on higher ground than he is. . . . You cannot light a fire in another soul unless it is burning in your own soul” (“Stand Ye in Holy Places,” Ensign, July 1973, 123)

               You have a sacred responsibility to be an instrument in the Lord’s hands. As you pray and study the scriptures, strive to keep the commandments, and listen to the promptings of the Spirit, you will find yourself on higher ground. As a consequence, wherever you are can become a holy place. Then, when situations arise, you will have the strength, courage, and the ability to help lift others. You will have the power and protection the Lord promises those who stand in holy places.

               I love what President Thomas S. Monson said about these promises when he assured us that as we draw near to the Lord, “we will feel His Spirit in our lives, providing us the desire and the courage to stand strong and firm in righteousness—to ‘stand . . . in holy places, and be not moved’ (D&C 87:8).

               “As the winds of change swirl around us and the moral fiber of society continues to disintegrate before our very eyes, may we remember the Lord’s precious promise to those who trust in Him: ‘Fear thou not; for I am with thee: be not dismayed; for I am thy God: I will strengthen thee; yea, I will help thee’ (Isaiah 41:10)” (“Stand in Holy Places,” Liahona or Ensign, Nov. 2011, 86).

               “And if any man among you be strong in the Spirit, let him take with him, him that is weak, that he may be edified in all meekness, that he may become strong also. (D&C 84:106) To edify means to build up, to increase the faith of, to improve the morality of. “Wherefore, be faithful; stand in the office which I have appointed unto you; succor the weak, lift up the hands which hang down, and strengthen the feeble knees.” (D&C 81:5.)

               “Many of those who are not enjoying the full blessings of the gospel are overcoming serious mistakes in their lives, and they often have very low self-images. The opportunity for them to give service helps them feel worthwhile and needed and imbues them with a desire to pray to the Lord for help. It helps them build their confidence and self-respect.” –Elder Scott

               “And behold, as the tree beginneth to grow, ye will say: Let us nourish it with great care, that it may get root, that it may grow up, and bring forth fruit unto us. And now behold, if ye nourish it with much care it will get root, and grow up, and bring forth fruit. “But if ye neglect the tree, and take no thought for its nourishment, behold it will not get any root; and when the heat of the sun cometh and scorcheth it, because it hath no root it withers away, and ye pluck it up and cast it out. “Now, this is not because the seed was not good, neither is it because the fruit thereof would not be desirable; but it is because your ground is barren, and ye will not nourish the tree, therefore ye cannot have the fruit thereof. “And thus, if ye will not nourish the word, looking forward with an eye of faith to the fruit thereof, ye can never pluck of the fruit of the tree of life. “But if ye will nourish the word, yea, nourish the tree as it beginneth to grow, by your faith with great diligence, and with patience, looking forward to the fruit thereof, it shall take root; and behold it shall be a tree springing up unto everlasting life.” (Alma 32:37–41.)

Point them to Christ and Heavenly Father:

"...No one is more anxious to see us change our lives than the Father and the Savior. In the book of Revelation is a powerful and profound invitation from the Savior. He says, "I stand at the door, and knock: if any man hear my voice, and open the door, I will come in to him (Revelation 3:20). Note that He does not say I stand at the door and wait for you to knock. He is calling, beckoning, asking that we simply open our hearts and let Him in." (President Ezra Taft Benson, Ensign. October 1989,2-5.)

“God is good. He is eager to forgive. He wants us to perfect ourselves and maintain control of ourselves. He does not want Satan and others to control our lives” (Spencer W. Kimball, “The Gospel of Repentance,” Ensign, Oct. 1982, 2).

17. “Will we ever forget our sins? Does God remember them? If you still think of the sin have you fully repented?

               “Alma knew about sorrowful memories—and he said a supremely significant thing to his son Corianton…And now, my son, I desire that ye should let these things trouble you no more, and only let your sins trouble you, with that trouble which shall bring you down unto repentance.’ (Alma 42:29.)

“Corianton had committed a serious evil and had been sorely rebuked by his father. Alma’s loving account of the atonement of Christ—his payment made in advance for our sins—humbled Corianton, and his father’s good counsel set him on the path to restoration. But he still had his bad memories, and the problem of living with them. Alma didn’t promise that Corianton would forget. He taught him how to live with his memories, productively, humbly, continually appreciative for the mercy and long-suffering and forgiveness of God.

“‘You’ll remember your sins,” we can almost hear Alma saying. ‘You probably won’t ever forget. But remember in the right way for the right reasons.’

“Don’t let the sorrows that inevitably result from sin disqualify you from your blessings or your contribution. Don’t shrivel inside when you hear the pointed sermon or lesson; don’t turn from the brotherhood of the Saints or the path of the Lord because you’ve made mistakes. Don’t give up and die, spiritually. Christ ‘suffered these things’ that we might not eternally suffer, on condition of our repentance.

“Let your memories ‘bring you down unto repentance’; let them ‘trouble you’ only with that trouble which will keep you repentant. Remember—in order to keep fully alive the gratitude of your heart for the love of God and for what Christ has done for you” (Marion D. Hanks, “Will I Ever Forget?” Improvement Era, Mar. 1966, 246).

               “It appears to me the most extreme folly to believe, much less to teach, that the atonement of Jesus Christ merely paved the way for the remission and forgiveness of the sins of those who truly repent; and after one has truly repented and been baptized, he still must pay the price to some extent for his transgressions. This means that the man has not been truly forgiven, but is placed on probation with a penalty attached. This idea, which has so often been taught by saying that the holes remain after the nails are withdrawn, is a false doctrine when applied to the atonement for the truly repentant sinner” (Joseph Fielding Smith, Doctrines of Salvation, 2:332).

https://www.lds.org/general-conference/2006/04/i-will-remember-your-sins-no-more?lang=eng