Relationship Expert

Jesus Christ The Relationship Expert      (M/W 1:30 & T/Th 1:30, Tues. 7pm

Week 1 Christ's Divine Nature and Mine

         -Your true potential and divine affirmations

Week 2 HEAR HIM

         -How to survive spiritually

Week 3    Self Aware: Our Mortal Bodies and Self Reliance

         -The beauty of creation and choice

Week 4 Self Mastery: Overcoming the World and the Natural Man

           -Because He overcame, I can overcome

Week 5 Self Wellness: Spiritual, Physical, Mental and Emotional 

-The 4 buckets of growth

Week 6 Balancing Relationships and Time Management

         -Lessons from a farmer and spinning plates

Week 7 The Art of Dating and Choosing an Eternal Companion 

-The secret to being a triple threat spouse

Week 8 Growing together, Resolving Conflict and Embracing Truth

         -Ask questions, How to honor agency, express love and be more curious

Week 9      SPRING BREAK

Week 10    The Divine Gift and Sacred Responsibility of Sexual Intimacy

         -His love and plan is greater

Week 11    Gender Roles and Nurturing Marriage

         -The real love triangle and the proclamation

Week 12   Fighting for and Defending Relationships

         -Revealing Satan’s playbook on the family

Week 13   Healing, Hope and Patience in Relationships

         -What if blessings are delayed?

Week 14   The Everlasting Covenant and Drawing on God's Power

         -The power of HESED

WEEK 14

"In our world, we usually focus on what we do and on consistently accomplishing tasks and goals. In a spiritual sphere, we have the opportunity to go beyond just doing things or achieving goals by understanding why we are doing them. If we can understand and connect that the reason behind our actions relates to our love for the Savior and our Heavenly Father, by taking advantage of these opportunities we will understand that even though doing righteous things like having Church activities or traditions and appropriately doing them is a good thing, when we connect them with the “why,” we will be blessed to understand the reason. It won’t be just doing good things or doing them right; we will also get them right." https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/general-conference/2025/04/17gimenez?lang=eng

The Everlasting Covenant and Drawing on God's Power (pres. nelson's talks, HESED, tabernacle, 2 nephi 31)

"They all just kept saying their membership is separate from their discipleship. They struggle a lot with feeling like they don’t measure up, comparison (especially to people they see as more righteous than them), and perfectionism. So in their perspective their membership, which they see as a big list of to dos and don’t dos that come from church culture, is something that is too much for them. They really dismiss their covenants and their connection with Christ. For them it’s all about church culture and comparison and feeling like they don’t measure up.  So to justify their decisions and choices and feelings, they just separate their “membership” from their discipleship. They think you don’t need to be a good member of the church (keep your covenants) to be a good disciple. It’s sad because rather than seeing it as keeping their covenants they’ve made with the Lord, they see it as this heavy burden that is being pushed on them by “the church” and church culture. So they want to be a good person but they don’t want to be accountable to reading their scriptures, going to the temple, living the law of chastity, wearing the temple garment, and a lot more. Because it’s hard for them, and they don’t want to feel guilty for making mistakes and so they just rationalize that it’s coming from the church, not a covenant. Or some of them don’t even want to keep those covenants at all, so they just rationalize it so they can feel comfortable with the lifestyle they wan­­­­t to live. It’s like they’ve 180’d from being way too strict and hard on themselves, to thinking that all you need to do in life is be kind and only try when you feel up to it. I’d say a lot of their perspective comes from spiritual laziness and apathy . I think sometimes it’s perfectionism, but usually it’s the apathy. We actually just had a lesson on repentance too, and a lot of those same girls were saying that they don’t think you need to repent everyday. They say it’s a bad thing and it makes them feel guilty and miserable and things. So they don’t repent daily, or often at all. They think it’s damaging to their self esteem and mental health to pray about all the things they did wrong that day. So they genuinely think repentance is not a good thing… they think choices are just neutral things. There isn’t a right or wrong. Theirs a “this is better for me” and “this isn’t as good for me”. So they don’t think you need to repent about your decisions and choices and actions. You just need to accept them and accept yourself. And all you need to focus on is loving others and being kind to them, not judging them, and that’s all. The other stuff is extra and separate from discipleship. (This is all what they said about it). 

How do I know what God's will is for me in my life?

Why do I need covenants? If I go to my ward once a month I'm still active right?

I'd rather be kind than perfect. The less expectation I have for myself, the better.

Do I really need garments and the temple?

Church culture, rules and programs (How are you going to teach your future kids…. Share the hot topics is hunting ok, what about double piercings, tattoos, energy drinks, sugar rush, sports betting, tv shows, music…..?

You can only feel the spirit in the front

No friends on Sunday

Spirit goes to bed at midnight

You have to serve a mission

You cant have non member friends (bubble)

You have to marry within the covenant

FSY is CHURCH

Dating only at 16

Piercings for girls only & only 1 pair

Tattoos

Gambling

Caffeine is part of the WOW

Star wars is scripture

Rules with Modesty

You can’t feel the spirit and speed

No Rated R

Face cards are the devil

Sleepovers are for Satan

Women pants on Sunday? (Sunday dress all Sunday)

White shirt and tie to church only

Garments are just about modesty

Ring before spring and Marriage before age 24

Only suits on the stand, no facial hair

WEEK 13

To lift, elevate and build

To heal and enlighten

To grow and expand

To lighten and ease

To add joy and love

To allow space for love and service

To understand... to be able to succor

Sit, support and let them talk

Talk about the loss, pain or emptiness

I love you, I'm here for you

Just be with them

actions behind the words and touchpoints

"I've been thinking about you"

I see you, I hear you (SHOW THEM)

I'm available, Schedule out a clear time for them

You matter to me

"I'm not going anywhere"

I want to be here

What are you doing cope?

Matt 11:28-30

"I was reading this and it made me think of our conversation.."

trust the power of the word, especially the Book of Mormon

CASE STUDY: You really want something and others are venting about that certain thing (you want kids and parents are complaining about their kids) 

https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/general-conference/2022/10/28christofferson?lang=eng

Week 12

Click on this link and add something to the Padlet

https://padlet.com/jblazzard4/successful-marriage-pr46iuqgn4r9mvmi

ATTACKS on the FAMILY

Addiction, bad habits (porn, drugs, alcohol, videogames, sugar)

Pride

Career before marriage

Abuse

infidelity

Grudges

Spiritual casualness

Identity

No kids

Celibacy

Influencers

Politics

$ Finances

Inequality

Cohabitation

Sunday

"A good marriage does not require a perfect man or a perfect woman. It only requires a man and a woman committed to strive together toward perfection." Pres. Oaks https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/media/video/2007-04-4020-elder-dallin-h-oaks?lang=eng

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0o7fiEuWeJM&ab_channel=JakeBlazzard

Week 11

Help one another as equal partners

Father Mother

Priesthood authority Child bearer nututure

Priesthood  Child bearer

Preside (in love) Nurturer

Provide       Financer Laundry

Protect       Discipliner Cleaner

Yardworker (lawn/snow) Dishes Gardener

Griller     Advice giver Cook

Driver Comforter/consoler

Fixer Spiritual leader Shopper

Mechanic Seemstress

most lenient Scheduler

fun/adventurerer

Plumber First aid, Throw up

“…no one can flourish in isolation and that the quality of our relationships with others will ultimately determine our level of fulfillment and happiness in both this mortal existence and the life to come. It is in this sense that it is not good for man—or woman—to be alone.

Now I am fully aware that there are times when we want to be by ourselves; when we have to get away from others; when our roommates, classmates, brothers and sisters, and others just drive us crazy. All of us can relate, at one time or another, to the character in Jean Paul Sartre’s play No Exit when he observed that “hell is other people.”3 But in the long run, the converse is also true—heaven is other people. Heaven will be heaven because of the other people who will be there. And experiencing heaven on earth will ultimately depend, to a large degree, on the quality of our relationships with others.

Very little that is positive is solitary. When was the last time you laughed uproariously? The last time you felt indescribable joy? The last time you sensed profound meaning and purpose? The last time you felt enormously proud of an accomplishment? Even without knowing the particulars of these high points of your life, I know their form: all of them took place around other people.4 -Dr. Martin Seligman

To a large extent, the depth of our eternal happiness will be determined by the quality of our relationships with others. The clear fact is, no one will be exalted by him- or herself.6 Thus one of the purposes of this mortal existence—and therefore one of the purposes of your education at this university—is to develop both the skills and the attributes necessary to establish long-lasting, joyful relationships."

"[My] plea is that in this coming year we all increase the number and quality of eternal relationships that exist in our lives. Yes, that includes marriage relationships for those who are married or are striving for that. But it also includes other relationships—­relationships with our roommates, our classmates, our teachers, our other family members, and even strangers in the community.

1.Look for and take advantage of opportunities to develop positive relationships with others. 

Get to know them; look for ways to serve them and love them.

Pay ­particular attention to those who struggle to feel included

2.Expand your vision of who they really are

All human beings—male and female—are created in the image of God. Each is a beloved spirit son or daughter of heavenly parents, and, as such, each has a divine nature and destiny.13

It is a serious thing to live in a society of possible gods and goddesses, to remember that the dullest and most uninteresting person you can talk to may one day be a creature which, if you saw it now, you would be strongly tempted to worship. . . . There are no ordinary people. You have never talked to a mere mortal. . . . It is immortals whom we joke with, work with, marry, snub, and exploit.14

3. Develop our ability to take joy in the success of others

responding positively in such circumstances strengthens our relationships in a productive and eternal way. Psychological studies have shown that “when an individual responds . . . constructively . . . to someone sharing a positive experience, love and friendship [between them] increase.”15 When we share in the joy of others, we not only come closer to them, but we lift our spirits as well.

How we respond to both the successes and the struggles of others provides a measure of both the nature of our relationship with them and the extent to which we are becoming like our Heavenly Father."

“Positive eternal relationships come at a price. To truly love others, we have to become vulnerable in new ways. Our very love and concern for others means that we will be affected by their actions and circumstances in ways that at times will be soul stretching….

Elder Charles Didier explained:

One of the real purposes of life is to become a friend of the Mediator, our Savior and Redeemer, . . . and then qualify to be called his friend.25

this eternal relationship comes at a price, but one largely paid by the Savior in Gethsemane and on the cross. As a result of His great and infinite atoning sacrifice, Christ is able, with total empathy, to mourn with us in whatever circumstance we find ourselves. He has paid the ultimate price for ultimate friendship. Just as we sometimes get to know God through our extremities,26 Christ became fully acquainted with us through His extremities as part of the Atonement.27 As a result, He can teach and lift us as no one else can.

Elder Marlin K. Jensen observed that “the quality of our daily relationships with others is the best indication of what we think about Christ.”28

https://speeches.byu.edu/talks/kevin-j-worthen/it-is-not-good-that-man-should-be-alone/#byu

Gender is an essential characteristic of individual premortal, mortal, and eternal identity and purpose. By divine design, men and women are intended to complement, complete, and perfect each other.

https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/manual/eternal-marriage-student-manual/differences-inherent-between-men-and-women?lang=eng

“Why does gender even matter?”

Scenario: Aannika often feels uncomfortable during conversations about what people consider to be traditional characteristics of men and women. She doesn’t feel like she has many traits that are considered feminine. She also has a lot of personal interests that align more with the interests of some of the men she knows. When conversations on gender come up in church, she wonders if she will ever really be able to fit in with the other women. She believes in Jesus Christ and trusts in the power of His Atonement, but she’s not sure how He can help her. In the end, Aannika really wants to know if her personality will allow her to fulfill her divine potential as a daughter of God.

How can my understanding of gender be strengthened as I better understand Heavenly Father’s plan?

The family proclamation states: “All human beings—male and female—are created in the image of God. Each is a beloved spirit son or daughter of heavenly parents, and, as such, each has a divine nature and destiny. Gender is an essential characteristic of individual premortal, mortal, and eternal identity and purpose” (“The Family: A Proclamation to the World,” ChurchofJesusChrist.org).

The term gender can have different meanings for different people. As explained in the Church handbook, “The intended meaning of gender in the family proclamation is biological sex at birth” (General Handbook: Serving in The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, 38.6.23).

Elder Richard G. Scott of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles said of our creation: This [creation of male and female] was done spiritually in your premortal existence when you lived in the presence of your Father in Heaven. Your gender existed before you came to earth. (“The Joy of Living the Great Plan of Happiness,” Ensign, Nov. 1996, 73)

President Dallin H. Oaks of the First Presidency further taught that the “binary creation [of male and female] is essential to the plan of salvation” (in “General Conference Leadership Meetings Begin,” Oct. 2, 2019, newsroom.ChurchofJesusChrist.org).

The eternal marriage of a man and a woman is essential to becoming like our heavenly parents. The nature of eternal life, or exaltation, is the continuation of families for eternity. This potential can only be reached “through the creative powers inherent in the combination of male and female joined in an eternal marriage (see Doctrine and Covenants 132:19)” (Dallin H. Oaks, in “General Conference Leadership Meetings Begin”).

“By divine design, both a man and a woman are needed to bring children into mortality and to provide the best setting for the rearing and nurturing of children” (David A. Bednar, “Marriage Is Essential to His Eternal Plan,” Ensign, June 2006, 83; see also Genesis 1:28).

Heavenly Father endows men and women with distinct capacities to help them fulfill these and other divine responsibilities in His plan. Men and women need each other to progress and reach their full eternal potential. As Elder Bednar taught:

The natures of male and female spirits complete and perfect each other, and therefore men and women are intended to progress together toward exaltation. …For divine purposes, male and female spirits are different, distinctive, and complementary.… The unique combination of spiritual, physical, mental, and emotional capacities of both males and females were needed to implement the plan of happiness. Alone, neither the man nor the woman could fulfill the purposes of his or her creation. … Just as the unique characteristics of both males and females contribute to the completeness of a marriage relationship, so those same characteristics are vital to the rearing, nurturing, and teaching of children. (“Marriage Is Essential to His Eternal Plan,” 83–84)

Elder Renlund "Male and female spirits were created to complement each other. That is why gender is not fluid in the eternities—because it provides the basis for the ultimate gift Heavenly Father can give, His kind of life. (“The Divine Purposes of Sexual Intimacy,” Ensign, Aug. 2020, 16)

Sisster Craig "Latter-day Saints come in many shapes and sizes, but “all are alike unto God” [2 Nephi 26:33]. … No matter who you are or what you’re dealing with, you are invited to the Lord’s table. (“Spiritual Capacity,” Ensign or Liahona, Nov. 2019, 21)

Pres. Oaks "Be careful how you characterize yourself. … The only single quality that should characterize us is that we are a son or daughter of God. That fact transcends all other characteristics. (“How to Define Yourself,” New Era, June 2013, 48)

Each of us is a child of God with a potential destiny of eternal life. Every other label … is temporary or trivial in eternal terms. Don’t choose to label yourselves or think of yourselves in terms that put a limit on a goal for which you might strive. (“Where Will This Lead?,” Ensign or Liahona, May 2019, 62)

Elder Christofferson "Everyone has gifts; everyone has talents; everyone can contribute to the unfolding of the divine plan in each generation. … So many of you are doing your very best. And when you who bear the heaviest burdens of mortality stand up in defense of God’s plan to exalt His children, we are all ready to march. With confidence we testify that the Atonement of Jesus Christ has anticipated and, in the end, will compensate all deprivation and loss for those who turn to Him. No one is predestined to receive less than all that the Father has for His children. (“Why Marriage, Why Family,” Ensign or Liahona, May 2015, 52)

https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/manual/the-eternal-family-teacher-material-2022/lesson-7-teacher-material?lang=eng

WEEK 10

"...it is alarming to us that in the last 50 years the natural median age for men to marry has risen from age 22 to age 28! That is the world’s figure, not the Church’s, but we eventually follow the world in some way in much of its social trending. Add to this such diverse influences on the young as the increased availability of birth control, the morally destructive rise of pornography, an increased disaffiliation with institutional religion, the pervasive quest for material goods generally, the rise of postmodern thought with its skepticism and subjectivity and you see the context for anxiety and fear that a rising generation can feel. With these kinds of winds blowing in their lives, they can be damaged almost before mature, married life has begun.

Furthermore, so many young people I talk to fear that if they do marry they will be just another divorce statistic; they will be another individual who dove foolishly into marriage only to find there was no water in that pool. Couple that leeriness about the success of marriage with the tawdry, foul, often devilish mocking of chastity and fidelity and family life so regularly portrayed in movies and on television and you see the problem.

We have our work cut out for us to preserve and perpetuate both the holiness and the happiness of marriage." JRH 2015 https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/broadcasts/article/evening-with-a-general-authority/2015/02/helping-with-the-real-issues?lang=eng

Labored together (Moses 5:1)

sexual intimacy and bore children together (Moses 5:2);

prayed and received inspiration together (Moses 5:4);

made mistakes and used the atonement together (Moses 5:11)

received commandments together (Moses 5:5);

Blessed the name of God ;grateful together (Moses 5:12)

taught their children together (Moses 5:12);

ceased not to call upon God (Moses 5:16)

and mourned together (Moses 5:27).

“Marriage between a man and a woman is fundamental to the Lord’s doctrine and crucial to God’s eternal plan. Marriage between a man and a woman is God’s pattern for a fulness of life on earth and in heaven. God’s marriage pattern cannot be abused, misunderstood, or misconstrued. Not if you want true joy. God’s marriage pattern protects the sacred power of procreation and the joy of true marital intimacy.We know that Adam and Eve were married by God before they ever experienced the joy of uniting as husband and wife.

In our day civil governments have a vested interest in protecting marriage because strong families constitute the best way of providing for the health, education, welfare, and prosperity of rising generations. But civil governments are heavily influenced by social trends and secular philosophies as they write, rewrite, and enforce laws. Regardless of what civil legislation may be enacted, the doctrine of the Lord regarding marriage and morality cannot be changed.Remember: sin, even if legalized by man, is still sin in the eyes of God!” Pres. Nelson https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/general-conference/2013/10/decisions-for-eternity?lang=eng

“Thinking celestial will also help you obey the law of chastity. Few things will complicate your life more quickly than violating this divine law. For those who have made covenants with God, immorality is one of the quickest ways to lose your testimony.

Many of the adversary’s most relentless temptations involve violations of moral purity. The power to create life is the one privilege of godhood that Heavenly Father allows His mortal children to exercise. Thus, God set clear guidelines for the use of this living, divine power. Physical intimacy is only for a man and a woman who are married to each other.” https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/general-conference/2023/10/51nelson?lang=eng

"Heavenly Father intends that sexual relations in marriage be used to create children and to express love and strengthen the emotional, spiritual, and physical connections between husband and wife. In marriage, sexual intimacy should unite wife and husband together in trust, devotion, and consideration for each other. Sexual relations within marriage must respect the agency of both partners and should not be used to control or dominate."

"God’s commandments and covenants constitute the path that enable us to become a full inheritor in His kingdom, a joint heir with Jesus Christ (see Romans 8:17). Through making righteous choices, we develop the divine nature that is within us. Sexual relations are “one of the ultimate expressions of our divine nature.” Our proper expression of sexuality makes it possible for God’s plan to unfold on earth and in the eternities, qualifying us to become like our Heavenly Father. God promises eternal life for the faithful that includes eternal marriage, children, and all other blessings of an eternal family.

 DGR https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/ensign/2020/08/the-divine-purposes-of-sexual-intimacy?lang=eng

Intimacy 101

Christlike attributes           Natural man

emotional spiritual intelectual carnal sensual

respectful, considerate reckless, forceful

love lust

selfless, service selfishness, taking

humble pride

intentional, purposeful spontaneous, impulsive

long suffering, patience, peace pressure, dominant

Pure, special, sacred filthy, secret, 

growth, mature 1 night stand, fleeting

privilege, gift right, assumed

love, open arms lust, open appetite

soulfull humility, caring soul less, prideful

Sacred, comes from above common, casual, explicit

eternal, lasting earthly, fleeting

what can I give? What do I get? expecting

builds destroys

charitable carnal

accepting shameful

ordained free for all

texas road house chuck a rama

choose your love, love your choice Choose and rotate and regret

never faileth, enduring temporary, Nicmo, fleeting

healing damaging

sacrifice, commitment                Instant gratification, pleasure, fun

Love, REAL, connected        lust, pornography, FAKE, 1 night fling

selfless, respect, supportive     selfish, my body, my choice, self pleasing, stingy

sacred, special, gift, divine      norm, kinky, degrading, secret, objectify, trashy, misused

serious, essential, salvatory       casual, flaky, NBD, worldly

thinking celestial, eternal       carnal, worldly, temporary, no consequence

privilege and responsibility     entitled, human right

creation, work              recreation, play, fun

covenant keeping             social significants, situationship

relationship and trust         transaction and event

Fruits of the spirit              Lusts of the world

100/100 Share             50/50   give/take

Virtue, respectful, willing          Greedy and coerced and dominant

Head heart Spirit...soul        physical, body, carnal, sensual, devilish

God's will, sacred stewardship you do you, no limit, exposure, no consequence

https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/ensign/1986/09/they-twain-shall-be-one-thoughts-on-intimacy-in-marriage?lang=eng

While creating children is an integral and beautiful aspect of marital intimacy, to use it only for that purpose is to deny its great potential as an expression of love, commitment, and unity.

On the other hand, there are couples who seem to feel that the only reason for sexuality is physical gratification. These people become so obsessed with the achievement of sensation that the emotion of love is all but forgotten. Still others use sexuality as a weapon or a bargaining tool. This is not only a misuse of a God-given privilege, it shows great selfishness on the part of one or both partners and makes sexuality a destructive rather than a unifying element in marriage.

One great problem in this, as in all other aspects of marriage, is selfishness. I doubt that there is any human relationship better than marriage to teach us the need for Christlike love—that unqualified and unconditional love that persuades us to think more of another than we think of ourselves. Yet few of us, even those of us in a seemingly good marriage, have learned to do this as well as we could or should. It’s not always easy to put all other considerations aside and look to our companion to see what his or her needs are and then do our best to fulfill them. One young wife said that the problem isn’t necessarily that husbands and wives don’t know how to love each other, but that “people don’t know how to love people.” We tend to do for others what would make us happy if someone would do the same for us. And afterward we wonder why the other person isn’t happy. One great key to success in marriage is to find out what would make our spouse happy and then to find joy in providing that happiness.

When we see sexuality as a vital part of marital harmony and happiness, it becomes more than something we simply give or receive. I like to think of it as something a husband and wife can share. It might be called a sexual guardianship….

Paul implies a sexual responsibility when he says: “Let the husband render unto the wife due benevolence; and likewise also the wife unto the husband.

“The wife hath not power of her own body, but the husband: and likewise also the husband hath not power of his own body, but the wife.” (1 Cor. 7:3–4.)

To me, this means that neither the husband nor the wife alone control the physical relationship, that both are diligent in their commitment to each other, and that both have a nurturing attitude toward the other….”

Phrases from apostles...https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/manual/the-eternal-family-teacher-material-2022/lesson-13-class-preparation-material?lang=eng&id=title_number2-figure4_p1#title_number2

"Possible for God’s plan to unfold on earth and in the eternities"

"Qualifying us to become like our Heavenly Father"

"Ultimate expressions of our divine nature and potential"

"Strengthening emotional and spiritual bonds between husband and wife"

"Beautiful and sacred"

"The most exalted power God has given his children"

"Marriage was intended to mean the complete merger of a man and a woman—their hearts, hopes, lives, love, family, future, everything."

Elder Merrill J. Bateman

“When a man understands how glorious a woman is, he treats her differently. When a woman understands that a man has the seeds of divinity within him, she honors him not only for who he is but for what he may become. An understanding of the divine nature allows each person to have respect for the other. The eternal view engenders a desire in men and women to learn from and share with each other.

“Men and women are created as complements. They complete one another. Paul told the Corinthians: ‘Nevertheless neither is the man without the woman, neither the woman without the man, in the Lord’ (1 Corinthians 11:11). Men and women complement each other not only physically, but also emotionally and spiritually. The apostle Paul taught that ‘the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband’ and through them both the children are made holy (1 Corinthians 7:14). Men and women have different strengths and weaknesses, and marriage is a synergistic relationship in which spiritual growth is enhanced because of the differences” (“The Eternal Family,” 113).

WEEK 8

Ask questions, grow together, Be Curious, Honor Agency

“Dating is the opportunity for lengthy conversations. When you date, learn everything you can about each other. Get to know each other’s families when possible. Are your goals compatible? Do you share the same feelings about the commandments, the Savior, the priesthood, the temple, parenting, callings in the Church, and serving others? Have you observed one another under stress, responding to success and failure, resisting anger, and dealing with setbacks? Does the person you are dating tear others down or build them up? Is his or her attitude and language and conduct what you would like to live with every day?” -Elder Hales

BEST DATING IDEAS FRIVOLITY FOR FEW FARTHINGS

160 questions to ask before marriage

10 questions lds

Nov 2023 worlwide broadcast Elder Cook and Gilbert

First, How can we strengthen life planning and life balance? 

Sister Christine Gilbert: We have a busy family. My husband has always had demanding work expectations—as a Harvard professor, the CEO of a media company, and the president of two university organizations. During all of this, we both served in busy Church callings. But our most important responsibilities have always

been to our marriage and children.

Elder Gilbert: I was reminded of this when I had a season leading the Deseret News. How many of you young adults actually read a printed newspaper every day? Raise your hands. That’s exactly what I thought—almost no one. I was given the responsibility to help transform the Deseret News from a traditional newspaper to its digital future. It was an incredibly demanding season. At the time, we

had seven of our eight children, and I was serving as a bishop.

One day, out of the blue, President Boyd K. Packer called and asked me, “Brother Gilbert, I’m inquiring about your family. Are you paying enough attention to your wife?” I paused and answered, “Probably not.” He then said to me, “Brother Gilbert, you will lead this media group for a season, but you will be a husband and a father for eternity.” He then gave me an assignment to have a weekly date with Christine.He next asked me what time I was going to bed, to which I replied 1:00 or 2:00 in the morning every night. His response was counterintuitive to me. He said, “You think this all depends on your own effort. You don’t trust the Lord.” President Packer gave me an apostolic curfew, which I have strived to keep ever since.

 Sister Gilbert: So if you have a curfew and a weekly scheduled date night, how do you manage other significant responsibilities?​ It starts with planning. Since the early years of our marriage, my husband and I have held a weekly calendaring session every Sunday night. For us, this is a commitment we never miss no matter how busy we are.

Second, balancing life responsibilities also requires shared goals. Even when we have to be apart, we still feel united when we have a shared purpose. So when my husband was traveling with work or I was up teaching an early morning seminary class or he was out on a ward assignment, if we had calendared those responsibilities and were aligned in our purpose, we were together even when we

had to be apart.

Elder Gilbert: Still, there are times when you need to put clear

boundaries around certain choices.Clay Christensen, a dear friend from Boston, once shared how a supervisor had asked him whether a Sunday morning meeting or a Saturday morning meeting would work better for a weekly, regularly scheduled team meeting. Clay responded, “Years ago, I decided I would commit Saturday to my wife and Sunday to God, and if you would like either of them back, you will have to ask them directly for their permission.” Certain commitments need to be non-negotiable in your life. For our family, this has included Sunday church attendance, weekly family home evening, morning and evening family devotionals, and time together as a couple each week.

Alma 34:33 ​And now, as I said unto you before, as ye have had so many ​​​witnesses​, therefore, I beseech of you that ye do not ​​​procrastinate​ the day of your ​​​repentance​ until the end; for after this day of life, which is given us to prepare for eternity, behold, if we do not improve our time while in this life, then cometh the ​​​night​ of ​​​darkness​ wherein there can be no labor performed.

Ways to improve your time:

Hyper Focus DC 6:36 Break your expectations down.....Long-Range Goals, Intermediate Goals, Short-Range Goals, and Daily Tasks.

Habit stacking "No behavior happens in isolation. Each action becomes a cue that triggers the next behavior...One of the best ways to build a new habit is to identify a current habit you already do each day and then stack your new behavior on top. This is called habit stacking." -James Clear

Be believing DC 90:24 “Objectives and goals should not only be worthwhile but also realistic. They should be an incentive to work effectively. Thus the setting of realistic objectives and achieving them becomes an important part of the great process of eternal progression” (Franklin D. Richards, in Conference Report, Oct. 1969, 123).

Direction vs speed “the speed with which we head along the straight and narrow path isn’t as important as the direction in which we are traveling. That direction, if it is leading toward eternal goals, is the all-important factor.” MJA

Expect more from yourself 

Elder Clark 2015 S&I “Whatever level of spirituality we now enjoy in our lives; whatever degree of faith in Jesus Christ we now have; whatever strength of commitment and consecration, whatever degree of obedience or hope or charity is ours; whatever level of professional skill and ability we may have obtained, it will not be sufficient for the work that lies ahead. Brothers and sisters, you and I need to be much better than we are now. The scriptures teach us that the world is now and will be in commotion. Wickedness and darkness will increase. Yet in that darkening world there will be increased divine light. The Lord Jesus Christ has a great work for us to do with the rising generation. It is a greater work than we have ever done before. The Lord is working in power to strengthen teaching and learning in His true and living Church. He is hastening His work, and He is preparing the earth and His kingdom and us for His return.”

Elder Eyring “As the challenges around us increase, we must commit to do more to qualify for the companionship of the Holy Ghost. Casual prayer won’t be enough. Reading a few verses of the scripture won’t be enough. Doing the minimum of what the Lord asks of us won’t be enough. Hoping that we will have the Atonement work in our lives and that we will perhaps sometimes feel the influence of the Holy Ghost won’t be enough. And one great burst of effort won’t be enough. Only a steady, ever-increasing effort will allow the Lord to take us to higher ground.”

Uchtdorf: Use Time Wisely

“A wise man once distinguished between “the noble art of getting things done” and “a nobler art of leaving things undone.” True “wisdom in life,” he taught, consists of “the elimination of non-essentials” (Lin Yutang, The Importance of Living [New York: Reynal and Hitchcock, 1937], 162, 10). May I suggest that you periodically evaluate how you are doing in this area? What are the nonessential things that clutter your days and steal your time? What are the habits you may have developed that do not serve a useful purpose? What are the unfinished or unstarted things that could add vigor, meaning, and joy to your life?

Sometimes we make the mistake of neglecting the essentials of life. The Savior had harsh words for the scribes and Pharisees of His day: “Woe unto you,” He told them, “for [you] have omitted the weightier matters of the law, [justice], mercy, and faith: these ought ye to have done” (Matthew 23:23). Although the Savior’s words were directed to a specific audience thousands of years ago, they apply to us as well today.

In modern revelation, the Lord has commanded, “Thou shalt not idle away thy time, neither shalt thou bury thy talent that it may not be known” (D&C 60:13). It is quite common to hear people and friends of ours say, “Where has the time gone?” or “If I only had more time.”

In reality, time is perhaps the only commodity of life that is divided equally among every person in the world. Think about it—we all have 24 hours in a day. Though some people have more demands on their time than others, we all have an equal opportunity to use those 24 hours wisely.

I learned how remarkably fair time is while performing long-range flights around the world. For example, we departed Frankfurt at 10:00 a.m. local time and, after an 11-hour flight in a B747, arrived in San Francisco at 12:00 noon California time, apparently only two hours later. That was wonderful—we had gained nine hours! Of course, you all know, on the next day, on our way back to Frankfurt, we lost the nine hours again.

Someone has said, “Time cannot be expanded, accumulated, mortgaged, hastened, or retarded” (anonymous, in John Cook, comp., The Book of Positive Quotations, 2nd ed. [Minneapolis, Minnesota: 2007], 274).

And it is ever renewing. Even though we may have wasted time yesterday, there is hope. There is a full day waiting for us today and tomorrow. However, if we continue to take our allotted time for granted, we may find ourselves like Elder Neal A. Maxwell put it: “Either we use time wisely or it uses us; either we manage tasks effectively, or we are pushed about and prodded by them” (The Smallest Part [Salt Lake City: Deseret Book, 1973], 46).

So how can we use our time wisely? In a world of so many things to do, how can we be sure that we are doing the best things? Elder Maxwell continued: “Since our impact must be selective [we must] do some goal-setting in terms of the outcomes we wish to achieve. Such goal-setting needn’t be a hassling, hustling experience but rather a calm, periodic reasoned assessment of what we cherish enough to choose to do with our time” (The Smallest Part, 46).

In qualifying for the degrees from this wonderful and grand institution today, you have shown the ability to determine what is most important, to set goals to achieve it, and to then use your time to accomplish these goals. I urge you to continue to set and work toward temporal and spiritual goals. These may include goals to give of your talents, of your time, and of your means to the weightier matters in life. Such goals will guide your decisions about how best to use your time.” https://speeches.byu.edu/talks/dieter-f-uchtdorf/embark-upon-new-era/

"Day by day, minute by minute, second by second we went from where we were to where we are now. The lives of all of us, of course, go through similar alterations and changes. The difference between the changes in my life and the changes in yours is only in the details. Time never stands still; it must steadily march on, and with the marching come the changes.

This is our one and only chance at mortal life—here and now. The longer we live, the greater is our realization that it is brief. Opportunities come, and then they are gone. I believe that among the greatest lessons we are to learn in this short sojourn upon the earth are lessons that help us distinguish between what is important and what is not. I plead with you not to let those most important things pass you by as you plan for that illusive and nonexistent future when you will have time to do all that you want to do. Instead, find joy in the journey—now. https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/general-conference/2008/10/finding-joy-in-the-journey?lang=eng

Balance is a moving target ELDER BEDNAR

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aVYPEjTiOmo&ab_channel=TrueMillennial

NEW: WILCOX with stephen jones minute 39 is so good for 3 min or so

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mRfqe0Ig9YM&ab_channel=Let%27sGetRealwithStephenJones

DATING:

Dating. Just saying the word can elicit a variety of responses: a smile, a frown, an eye roll, butterflies, and even nausea. Clearly, dating is not the same experience for everyone. I’ve heard young adults refer to dating as a joy, a pain, a journey, a destiny, a tragedy, and a triumph. I was recently talking with a young woman who, with a wry smile, referred to her dating life as “nonexistent.”

Why wait to date/marry?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0rbMHLDY1pA&ab_channel=AnnaGraceman

As Elder Gary E. Stevenson of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles taught:

“Satan understands that the family is central to the Lord’s plan of happiness. … He is striving to sow the dark seeds of fear in your heart, anything to keep you from experiencing the most glorious, rewarding part of mortality: the bright holiness and happiness that comes from finding an eternal partner and bringing Heavenly Father’s children into this world.

“As you face the decision to start your own eternal family, do not wait because you are afraid. Remember the scripture, ‘be not afraid, only believe’ [Mark 5:36]. My marriage and family are … a literal personal manifestation of the great plan of happiness for me. I promise you that the same can be true for you. Focusing on the joyous light family life brings will cast out fear.”

President Russell M. Nelson taught, “[The] proclamation on the family helps us realize that celestial marriage brings greater possibilities for happiness than does any other relationship.”

Week 5  Self Wellness: Spiritual, Physical, Mental and Emotional

https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/new-era/2017/05/your-9-point-survival-guide-for-hard-times?lang=eng

Elder holland -suffering is preparatory and exalting... "everyone in this book suffers"

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CRLDdNk5G4Y&ab_channel=TrueMillennial

Broken -callee reed (keneth cope) 2016

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r84HTzw8ihM&ab_channel=TOFWTimeOutforWomen

2017

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M_ePvJ2cq5Y&ab_channel=TOFWTimeOutforWomen

broken and beautiful

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ouvnQNB75_U&ab_channel=CaleeReed

WEEK 4 Self Mastery: Overcoming the World and the Natural Man

OVERCOME https://sites.google.com/d/1U42NcNhIFZtepqp3HLoFhw3lAIKPgi9q/p/1HffZp_Sbyh803IEODc60dmzPhyC4zU7e/edit

Social media poll parker walbeck

https://www.instagram.com/reel/CpsX3EXgXfz/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link&igsh=MzRlODBiNWFlZA==

ALMA 34:33 “Improve you time”

Luke 19:21 *footnote win mastery over

President Nelson Decisions for Eternity 2013 

“A pivotal spiritual attribute is that of self-mastery—the strength to place reason over appetite. Self-mastery builds a strong conscience. And your conscience determines your moral responses in difficult, tempting, and trying situations. Fasting helps your spirit to develop dominance over your physical appetites. Fasting also increases your access to heaven’s help, as it intensifies your prayers. Why the need for self-mastery? God implanted strong appetites within us for nourishment and love, vital for the human family to be perpetuated.22 When we master our appetites within the bounds of God’s laws, we can enjoy longer life, greater love, and consummate joy.23

It is not surprising, then, that most temptations to stray from God’s plan of happiness come through the misuse of those essential, God-given appetites. Controlling our appetites is not always easy. Not one of us manages them perfectly.24 Mistakes happen. Errors are made. Sins are committed. What can we do then? We can learn from them. And we can truly repent.25

We can change our behavior. Our very desires can change. How? There is only one way. True change—permanent change—can come only through the healing, cleansing, and enabling power of the Atonement of Jesus Christ.26 He loves you—each of you!27 He allows you to access His power as you keep His commandments, eagerly, earnestly, and exactly. It is that simple and certain. The gospel of Jesus Christ is a gospel of change!28

A strong human spirit with control over appetites of the flesh is master over emotions and passions and not a slave to them. That kind of freedom is as vital to the spirit as oxygen is to the body! Freedom from self-slavery is true liberation!29 https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/general-conference/2013/10/decisions-for-eternity?lang=eng

RMN Self Mastery 1985 "Remember, my dear one, not an age in life passes without temptation, trial, or torment experienced through your physical body. But as you prayerfully develop self-mastery, desires of the flesh may be subdued. And when that has been achieved, you may have the strength to submit to your Heavenly Father, as did Jesus, who said, “Not my will, but thine, be done.” (Luke 22:42.)

When deepening trials come your way, remember this glorious promise of the Savior: “To him that overcometh will I grant to sit with me in my throne, even as I also overcame, and am set down with my Father in his throne.” (Rev. 3:21.)

“See that ye bridle all your passions.” (Alma 38:12.) ALMA 39:9 cross yourself in all these things

“O, my beloved brethren, remember the awfulness in transgressing against that Holy God, and also the awfulness of yielding to the enticings of that cunning one. Remember, to be carnally-minded is death, and to be spiritually-minded is life eternal.” (2 Ne. 9:39; see also Rom. 8:6; Alma 36:4; D&C 29:35; D&C 67:10.)

“Bodily exercise profiteth little: but godliness is profitable unto all things, having promise of the life that now is, and of that which is to come.” (1 Tim. 4:8.)

“Glorify God in your body, and in your spirit, which are God’s.” (1 Cor. 6:20.)

WEEK 3

SELF AWARENESS

Self-Reliance and Wellness Eval

2 Nephi 5 discovery

STEWARDS 

https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/general-conference/2022/10/31causse?lang=eng

WEEK 2

Study a question here!

https://sites.google.com/d/1U42NcNhIFZtepqp3HLoFhw3lAIKPgi9q/p/1So6GeG2wgGfeP9073Y7fEGOhfHkmf6zh/edit?pli=1

"the ability to ________________, _____________, and _______________ personal revelation is the most important skill a person can learn in life." -Sister Beck

"the ability to qualify for, receive, and act on personal revelation is the most important skill a person can learn in life." -Sister Beck

https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/manual/preach-my-gospel-2023/12-chapter-4?lang=eng

D&C 6:23; 11:12–14; 88:3; John 14:26–27; Romans 15:13; Galatians 5:22–23

Gives feelings of love, joy, peace, comfort, patience, meekness, gentleness, faith, and hope.

Alma 32:28; D&C 6:14–15; 8:2–3; 1 Corinthians 2:9–11

Enlightens and gives ideas in the mind and feelings in the heart.

Joseph Smith—History 1:11–12

Helps scriptures have strong effect.

Alma 19:6

Replaces darkness with light.

Mosiah 5:2–5

Strengthens the desire to avoid evil and obey the commandments.

Moroni 10:5; D&C 21:9; 100:8; John 14:26; 15:26; 16:13

Teaches truth and brings it to remembrance.

D&C 45:57

Guides and protects from deception.

2 Nephi 31:18; D&C 20:27; John 16:13–14

Glorifies and bears record of God the Father and Jesus Christ.

D&C 42:16; 84:85; 100:5–8; Luke 12:11–12

Guides the words of humble teachers.

Moroni 10:8–17; D&C 46:8–26; 1 Corinthians 12

Gives gifts of the Spirit.

D&C 46:30; 50:29–30

Tells what to pray for.

2 Nephi 32:1–5; D&C 28:15

Tells what to do.

1 Nephi 10:22; Alma 18:35

Helps the righteous speak with power and authority.

2 Nephi 31:17; Alma 13:12; 3 Nephi 27:20

Sanctifies and brings remission of sins.

1 Nephi 2:16–17; 2 Nephi 33:1; Alma 24:8

Carries truth to the heart of the listener.

1 Nephi 18:1–3; Exodus 31:3–5

Enhances skills and abilities.

1 Nephi 7:15; 2 Nephi 28:1; 32:7; Alma 14:11; Mormon 3:16; Ether 12:2

Urges forward or holds back.

D&C 50:13–22

Edifies both teacher and students.

Hear Him Q&A

JSH 1:10-21 Revelation progression

2 Nephi 31:20 press forward

Jer 1:5 forordained

Alma 5:46 I know ----> fasted and prayed (Alma 36:25)

Ether 2-3 problem solving with Him

Enos 1:4-5 wrestle with God

1 Nephi 4:6-7 Nevertheless I went forth

1 Nephi 16-18 Spiritual growth

Job 6:24 Teach me and cause me to understand (D&C 19:23)

Alma 5:45-46 know by fasting and by prayer (alma 36:25)

1 Kings 19:11-12 still small voice

1 Sam 3 I am here

How do I know if it's God telling me I'm doing something wrong or if it's my own negativity and self loathing that's telling me I'm failing?

We hear "Ask and ye shall receive"; however, it almost always feels like ask and you might receive ,(if God is ready). Why is this the case? Why doesn't this scripture apply to us the way it sounds?

When I've made a mistake, how can I better understand Christ's Atonement and experience feeling His forgiveness through the Spirit?

What should I do if my personal Revelation goes against the teachings and policies of the church?

How often should I seek revelation and where's the balance of just having faith and go about the day to day knowing we're going forward with things?

How can I better recognize the spirit and what he is telling me when sometimes he's not super loud?

We are told "if it's a good thought, do it" but often times the thoughts aren't that simple. How do I decide what is "good"?

How can I learn to feel the Spirit even in dark times?

Do people gain a relationship with the Spirit, or is He more of the messenger to us having a relationship with God and Jesus Christ?

What do you do while your waiting for an answer to a question you've had for a few years?

Why would God want to love me and how can I find and access his love for me when I feel overwhelmed and unable to feel it?

How do I know what questions to ask?

"If it's good, it's of God," how do I pick between 2 good options that both take me different places?

How can God turn my weakness into strength?

How can I make my prayers more like a conversation?

• Russell M. Nelson, “Revelation for the Church, Revelation for Our Lives,” Ensign or Liahona, May 2018, 93–96. Russell M. Nelson, “Sweet Power of Prayer,” Ensign or Liahona, May 2003, 7–9.

• “If we will truly receive the Holy Ghost and learn to discern and understand His promptings, we will be guided in matters large and small” (“Revelation for the Church, Revelation for Our Lives,” Ensign or Liahona, May 2018, 94).

• “In coming days, it will not be possible to survive spiritually without the guiding, directing, comforting, and constant influence of the Holy Ghost” (“Revelation for the Church, Revelation for Our Lives,” Ensign or Liahona, May 2018, 96).

• James 1:5–6; Moroni 10:3–5; Doctrine and Covenants 42:61. Matthew 7:7–11; 1 Nephi 15:8–11; Alma 37:36–37.

• “When we pray, we should not presume to give counsel but should inquire of the Lord and hearken to His counsel” (“Sweet Power of Prayer,” Ensign or Liahona, May 2003, 8).

WEEK 2

WEEK 1

MOSES 1:1-11

I AM & HE IS

What makes you, you.... try to reverse engineer it

• 1.     Family/Lineage

• 2.     Religion

• 3.     Spiritual DNA/Soul

• 4.     Interests/Preference

• 5.     Personality/Character

• 6.     Friends

• 7.     Talents/abilities

• 8.     Spiritual gifts

• 9.     Gender/Appearance 

• 10.  Culture/Ethnicity 

• 11.  Wealth/Finance

• 12.  Education

• 13.  Attitude/Mindset

• 14.  Occupation

• 15.  Read

• 16.  Watch

• 17.  Listen to

• 18.  Style

• 19.  Filter level

• 20.  Environment, living space

• 21.  Climate, seasons, moods

• 22.  Name, nick name, titles

• 23.  Aspirations, goals, dreams

Identity of the Savior

1.     Family/Lineage Matt 1, Mark 6:3, Moses 1:6 D&C 68:6

2.     Religion James 1:5, 27; 2 Nephi 31-33; 3 Nephi 11-19, Matt 5

3.     Spiritual DNA/Soul JSH 1:17, Romans 8:17

4.     Interests/Preference Nephi 17:15-17, D&C 38:16

5.     Personality/Character Isaiah 63:9, Mosiah 2:17, Alma 5, Matt 4:11, 3 Nephi 17

6.     Friends John 15:13-14, D&C 84:63, D&C 130:2

7.     Talents/abilities Psalm 139:1,16,33

8.     Spiritual gifts 1 Cor 12:8-10, D&C 46

9.     Gender/Appearance/Culture/Ethnicity Moses 1:2, D&C 130:1

11.  Wealth/Finance Psalm 49:6-7, Matt 6:19-21

12.  Education D&C 84:72, 93:12-14, Deut 5:1, Prob 1:5

13.  Attitude/Mindset Mosiah 2:17

14.  Occupation Page: Work Experience of Christ

15.  Read Matt 4:7-10, Luke 4:18, Luke 2:46-47

16.  Watch D&C 31:11-13, Psalm 121:5-8

17.  Listen to John 4:5-30, John 8:2-11, Luke 24:13-35, Lam 3:55-56, John 14:14, D&C 29:7

18.  Style Matt 3:11, 27:28, John 19:5, Mark 9:3, 3 Nephi 19:25, Rev 3:4-5, 1 Nephi 8:5

19.  Filter level Matt 16:23, John 5:19

20.  Environment, living space D&C 76:23

21.  Climate, seasons, moods 

22.  Name, nick name, titles Isaiah 9:6

23.  Aspirations, goals, dreams Moses 1:39

part 2 week 12

list the 9 things in proclamation around the room and outline good traditions to support them in it... find quotes from apotles to match 

https://padlet.com/jblazzard4/successful-marriage-pr46iuqgn4r9mvmi