The following is an example of a UU wedding or union service. It is written for a small group wedding. Examples of texts are included. You should feel free to alter these to fit your own needs. Additional readings are also included.
Basic Format
By Rev. Ken Langer
(Before the ceremony begins, music begins and the guests are shown to their seats. Next, there is a procession of the minister, the assistants to the wedding couple (if any), and then the wedding couple.)
(By George Eliot)
What greater thing is there for two human souls than to feel that they are joined for life – to strengthen each other in all labor, to rest on each other in all sorrow, to minister to each other in all pain, to be one with each other in silent unspeakable memories.
(When the wedding party is in place, the minister:)
Welcomes the guests
Introduces the family
Introduces the couple
Dear friends, we are gathered this day to join together these two in marriage, a commitment which embodies all of the warm and precious values which grow from human companionship and love. It is therefore not to be entered into lightly nor unadvisedly, but reverently, thoughtfully and in the knowledge that love is both our highest achievement and our most precious gift.
So it is that we are here to recognize, witness, and solemnize the wedding of
_____ and _____.
Accompanying them are: ______________ (names of assistants)
And the family of the couple here include: _______________ (names of family)
To all those here assembled, hear this: the couple have spoken their wish. Will you, their families and friends, pledge them your love and acceptance, and do your utmost to uphold this marriage?
(Congregation responds "We will")
________ and ________, you have chosen each other as partners in your life together. I ask you both now, are you ready to pledge your mutual love, respect and fidelity, and be joined together in marriage?
(Couple responds “We are”)
Then, let us begin.
(by Gordon B. McKeeman)
Deep calls unto deep, joy calls unto joy, light calls unto light. Let the kindling of this flame rekindle in us the inner light of love, of peace, of hope. As one flame lights another, nor grows the less, we pledge ourselves to be bearers of the light, wherever we are.
(There are three unlit candles in a candelabra.)
I call your attention now to the side candles on this table. These two individual candles serve to remind us that two unique people stand before us who wish to enter into a relationship and share their love together.
(Light the two individual candles from the chalice light)
The center or unity candle reminds us that a life shared by them is called into existence on this day. Together, ____ and ____ are more than they are separately. We are reminded that within this new family, they do not cease to be individuals but seek to strengthen their own selves by joining in spirit. For this reason, the separate candles remain lit.
(The couple lights the Unity candle together)
(A performance of music selected by the couple)
(Poems are read. Choose two or three from below.)
Marriage is a great pledge of faith, expressed through love. It is this love, which will allow you to build your lives and find happiness in the years ahead. We rejoice with you that you have found each other, and that you will henceforth find the deeper meaning and richness of human life in sharing it with each other.
________ and ________, this is a most solemn pledge which you are about to undertake. No other human ties are more tender, no vows more sacred than these which you now assume. Now from joys and sorrows shared, you shall grow in love and loyalty. From disappointments and triumphs experienced, you shall strengthen your bonds, and from inevitable failings given and forgiven, you shall grow in mutual understanding. What we now celebrate, what the state makes legal, and what we all hope for in our hearts, you two shall henceforth make real.
(spoken by the minister then repeated by the Couple)
In the presence of the source of all love
Which brings us together,
And in witness of those here gathered,
I take you to be my wedded partner,
My friend, my lover, and my companion.
I vow to share both the joys and the sorrows
That life may bring our way.
I vow to give and receive, to share and to listen.
I vow to love you and lift you up.
I vow to share my hopes and dreams.
I vow to be present and respect you
From this day and every day forward.
Person 1: “I offer you this ring, eternal circle, symbol of love and unity to you. Do you wish to join me in this union and accept this ring as a symbol of my bond to you?
Person 2: I do.
(Person 1 puts the ring on Person 2)
Person 1: “I offer you this ring, eternal circle, symbol of love and unity to you. Do you wish to join me in this union and accept this ring as a symbol of my bond to you?
Person 2: I do.
(Person 1 puts the ring on the Person 2)
(The same is then done by Person 2)
Minister: And now, with the authority vested in me and with the blessings of the spirit of life, I pronounce these two before you to be joyfully and lovingly married.
(encourage applause)
“Sacred Union” by Ken Langer
Minister: That there might be love for us,
We have been given a spark of love.
That there might be energy
Through which we can know this love,
We have been given a spark of eternal light.
That this love shall be manifest
So that it can be shared,
There came the sacred and mysterious gift of life.
Love of the self creates inner peace.
Love of another creates joy.
Love of others creates community.
Love of all beings creates harmony.
Through love, with love, and in love
We praise and worship
The earth, all beings, and ourselves.
As one grain of sand reveals the beauty of the universe,
So this one union reveals the beauty of all love.
Minister: If you wish, you may seal your vows and initiate your union with a kiss.
(The couple recess in reverse order of the procession.)
We, unaccustomed to courage
exiles from delight
live coiled in shells of loneliness
until love leaves its high holy temple
and comes into our sight
to liberate us into life.
Love arrives
and in its train come ecstasies
old memories of pleasure
ancient histories of pain.
Yet if we are bold,
love strikes away the chains of fear
from our souls.
We are weaned from our timidity
In the flush of love’s light
we dare be brave
And suddenly we see
that love costs all we are
and will ever be.
Yet it is only love
which sets us free
i carry your heart with me (i carry it in my heart)
i am never without it
(anywhere i go you go, my dear;
and whatever is done
by only me is your doing, my darling).
i fear no fate (for you are my fate, my sweet)
i want no world (for beautiful you are my world, my true)
and it’s you are whatever a moon has always meant
and whatever a sun will always sing is you
here is the deepest secret nobody knows
(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud
and the sky of the sky of a tree called life; which grows
higher than soul can hope or mind can hide)
and this is the wonder that’s keeping the stars apart
i carry your heart (i carry it in my heart)
Let me not to the marriage of true minds Admit impediments.
Love is not love Which alters when it alteration finds,
Or bends with the remover to remove:
Oh no! It is an ever-fixed mark,
That looks on tempests and is never shaken;
It is the star to every wandering bark,
Whose worth’s unknown, although his height be taken.
Love’s not Time’s fool, though rosy lips and cheeks
Within his bending sickle’s compass come;
Love alters not with his brief hours and weeks,
But bears it out even to the edge of doom.
If this be error, and upon me prov’d,
I never writ, nor no man ever lov’d.
If I speak in the tongues of mortals and angels, but have not love, I am a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. And if I have prophetic powers, and understand all mysteries and knowledge, and if I have all faith so as to remove mountains but have not love, I am nothing. If I give away all I have, and if I deliver my body to be burned, but have not love, I gain nothing. Love is patient and kind; love is not jealous or boastful; it is not arrogant or rude. Love does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrong, but rejoices in the right. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never ends.
This is what should be done by the man and woman who are wise, who seek the good, and who know the meaning of the place of peace. Let them be fervent, upright and sincere, without conceit of self, easily contented and joyous, free of cares; let them not be submerged by the things of the world; let them not take upon themselves the burden of worldly goods; let their senses be controlled; let them be wise but not puffed up, and let them not desire great possessions even for their families. Let them do nothing that is mean or that the wise would reprove. May all beings be happy and at their ease. May they be joyous and live in safety.