I cannot change the world.
I can only change myself.
But I want to live in a better world.

Nobody ever asked me whether I wanted to exist in this world in the first place, so there should be no surprise if I told you that I don't want to be here. Theoretically, I could leave this world by dying, but what if the next world is even worse than this one? How can I throw myself into the unknown and naively expect that things will get better?

From the beginning of my life, I was coping with my sufferings by running away into the world inside my mind. This world started as my secret paradise, where no evil could ever enter, and it became my motherland - the only place, where I could find my little bit of happiness.

However, I never ever thought to share this world with anyone. I never ever planned to write a story that would take place in my world. As soon as I went to school, I had met with a lot of prejudice and discrimination due to my imagination, so I thought I'll forever keep everything to myself.

Yet things just happened.

I originally published the tale of Antidotum using Google Sites, so that I could access it from anywhere, whenever I felt like I wanted to read it. And yes, I do read my own story. Reading it, brings back all those beautiful memories of my childhood moments spent hidden in dark places with my eyes closed and my mind immersed inside that world, which only I could enter. Reading the tale of Antidotum also allows me to forget all that, which I don't want to remember.

As you might have seen from the main page, the tale of Antidotum is divided into three sagas, and if you began reading it, then you might have realized that it's seriously long, like, seriously seriously long. And I believe I need to explain it, because otherwise too many people will assume incorrectly.

So to start with, I never planned to write. But when I began to write I never realized how long this whole tale inside my mind was. I honestly thought that I could fit it in one volume until I finished Array One and realized how many words it took me, even though I barely started writing.

The tale of Antidotum already exists inside my mind, so I'm not like other authors who are creating something out of nothing. Instead I'm looking through the world inside my mind and choosing what to write and what to omit.

And when I looked back at how it came to be, I realized that the length of this tale corresponds to the span of twenty years of my imaginary world growing quietly in my mind. No wonder it's so long. So to manage this epic length, I divided the tale of Antidotum into different sagas, which correspond to different sections of my life.

The first saga corresponds to my childhood, when things were bad, but I was too young to understand, so all I understood was that I was hurting and I didn't like being hurt. As a result my imaginary world was a sweet place, where bad things happened, but everything had a good ending.

The second saga corresponds to my teenagehood, when things got really bad in reality, and I was old enough to understand that I don't deserve any of it. That's where my imaginary world got dark and cruel, and this saga is certainly not for kids.

The third saga corresponds to my early adulthood, when I've been trying many things to improve my life, and while most of the time I ended up scammed or taken advantage of, eventually I found ways to better my life bit by bit. In response to this reality, the third saga is a tale of hardships and hope.

In the fall of 2015, I got my first job as a software tester. It was a very pleasant job. I had a very kind manager, and many friendly coworkers. This was the first time in my life, when I "lived" in reality.

I don't know what exactly I was thinking, when I started writing the tale of Antidotum at the end of the year 2015, but later on I decided to write for myself, kind of like writing my own biography. In the following years I was writing it during my free time, but I never planned to publish it.

Things changed on the twenty fourth of April 2022. That day is what I call the "Day of Truth", as it brought gigantic changes in my life. And following the events of this day, I've been contemplating suicide for months, until I decided in November of 2022, to put an end to anything related to my childhood, and to start my life anew.

The Christmas of 2022, I spent driving across the US, sleeping in my car, and contemplating my past. One amazing thing about this specific Christmas is that most of it, I spent in severe storms, wondering whether I'll survive, end up stranded, or die in a car accident.

On the last day of my aimless driving, I concluded that in 2023, I'll do anything I want, whether it's a desire which I had for years or a minor caprice of the day. I promised myself that I'll live as if I'm about to die the next day.

And one of the passing ideas I had, was a wish to see what other people would think about the tale of Antidotum. I wanted to know their opinions, but I also knew that my writing is too horrible to show, and most people will be displeased by the writing so much that they won't read it.

Therefore, the first step I took was hire some editors/proofreaders.

Some people might think I'm mentally insane for thinking like this, but I have a feeling that the mystical world described in tale of Antidotum might one day save someone's life and give him or her the strength and the reason to live, just like it had done for me throughout my childhood.

Yes, I know, the previous paragraph sounds lame, but it's true and it's most likely the only reason, why I consider revealing the tale of Antidotum to the public. If not for that, I would have kept it a secret and take it to my grave.

The less you know about me and my personal life, the better your opinion of me.