Basically a tier list ranking the princesses (not the movies!). Commentary is provided, from worst to best. This list ranks both official and unofficial princesses.

D-Tier: Strongly Dislike

19. Aurora/Sleeping Beauty/Briar Rose

She is indeed most wondrous fair. Gold of sunshine in her hair. Lips that shame the red, red rose. In ageless sleep, she finds repose.

Did you know that Aurora had only 18 lines in her own movie? She’s pretty much just an object for the other characters to fight over. No personality, this one.

18. Snow White

Lips red as the rose. Hair black as ebony. Skin white as snow.

Snow White is Aurora but upgraded. She does more things in the movie and has more of a personality, but in the end, she’s really still an object that the others fight over.

17. Ariel

It’s not a phase, dad!

Alright, now hear me out—did anyone else find Ariel incredibly annoying? She’s only 16 in the movie and exhibiting the stereotypical 16-year-old trait of blowing her life off for a boy. King Triton was portrayed as a villain for the first part of the movie, but he was really just trying to look out for his daughter, which is completely reasonable, as again, she is only 16. She falls “in love” with a boy she hasn’t spoken with before (which other princesses get hate for, but for some reason, Ariel doesn’t). She signs her voice away to a sea witch without reading the contract first and in the end, her father pays for it and Eric has to rescue her.

C-Tier: Meh

16. Pocahontas

You know Pocahontas. She has her mother's spirit. She goes wherever the wind takes her.

Pocahontas has a great fighting spirit and connection with nature, and she’s also quite upfront with her opinions, making her a pleasant “strong female character” lead. The only reason she’s ranked so low is that I found her a bit boring, but other than that, I do like her.

15. Elionwy

Who?

Not many people know of Princess Eilonwy of Llyr, probably because The Black Cauldron didn’t do too well as a movie. Eilonwy is quite a strong-willed and adventurous character and brings light to her movie.

14. Cinderella

Cinderella, you're as lovely as your name.

A lot of people view Cinderella in a similar light to Aurora and Snow White, and in all fairness, there are similarities between them—she spends her days dreaming of a prince who eventually comes to rescue her. Cinderella is different, however, because she’s suffered endless abuse from her stepmother and stepsisters and still remains hopeful, kind, and positive, which is no easy feat. She’s also a hard worker.

13. Jasmine

How dare you! All of you - standing around, deciding my future? I am not a prize to be won!

Although Jasmine is rebellious and independent, she doesn’t do anything in the movie. That is to say, she does resist her prince suitors, but she never fights a battle or goes on adventures and quests. A “prince” still falls into her lap without her fighting for it and solves her problems.

B-Tier: Cool

12. Belle

I'm afraid she's rather odd, very different from the rest of us…

Belle is a complicated character. She’s the first princess with book smarts and is quite assertive. She also falls in love with her prince not based on looks, but purely on personality. Many, however, see Belle’s love for the beast as glorified Stockholm syndrome.

11. Alice

I give myself very good advice... but I very seldom follow it.

Alice is great! She’s very imaginative and adventurous, not to mention quite articulate for her age.

10. Vanellope von Schweetz

Look, wise guy, I know I'm a racer. I can feel it in my code!

Vanellope is really energetic and talkative and has something to her that makes her really entertaining to watch on-screen.

9. Jane Porter

I was saved by a flying, wild man in a loin cloth!

Jane is really hilarious in her movie, and she’s so eccentric. I find her really charming.

A-Tier: Awesome

8. Elsa

And all the land was covered in eternal ice and snow

Out of all the princesses, Elsa has got to be the most real. Her struggles with her powers in the first movie and her reluctance to rule in the second really makes her one of the most relatable characters from this list. In Frozen, Elsa is mostly driven by fear—fear of ruining her kingdom’s reputation, fear of disappointing her parents (sound familiar?), and fear of her powers and their destructive potential. (plus, Elsa’s ice powers are really cool.)

7. Merida

I am Merida! Firstborn descendant of clan DunBroch, and I'll be shootin' for my own hand!

Finally, we get our first official Disney princess whose movie doesn’t finish with a romantic relationship. Merida paved the path for a lot of independent princesses in the future. She’s great at archery, and most of all, she don’t need no man.

6. Anna

For the first time in forever, nothing's in my way!

Anna is underrated. Overshadowed by her cool older sister with ice powers, many people don’t care to pay attention to her character. She’s got such a big personality and her enthusiasm at the beginning of Frozen unrivalled that of any other princesses. Anna’s not lacking in the heroic department (she saved Elsa and Arendelle twice), and she’s not as naive as she used to be.

5. Rapunzel

I am the lost princess, aren't I?

What I love about Rapunzel is her playfulness and energy—during her opening song, we get a glimpse into her world and she’s quite talented. Rapunzel can bake, cook, paint, clean, play the guitar, knit, craft, dance, play chess, do pottery, do ventriloquy, make candles, sketch, sew, and she loves reading. She is also quick on her feet, using her frying pan to knock out Flynn Rider.

S-Tier: AMAZING

4. Meg

Megara. My friends call me Meg. At least they would, if I had any friends.

Meg is hilariously cynical. And her song? So iconic.

3. Moana

I am Moana of Motunui. Aboard my boat, I will sail across the sea and restore the heart of Te Fiti.

As the second official princess without a love interest and the first without a love-based subplot, Moana takes third place on the tier list. She’s so adventurous and bold, and you can really tell that she has a good heart.

2. Tiana

I've climbed the mountain, I've crossed the river, and I'm almost there.

Another underrated princess. I suspect people don’t like Tiana because she spent most of her movie as a frog. What makes Tiana second on this tier list is her work ethic. Most princesses don’t really have a purpose at the beginning of the movie, only but just a vague idea of what they want (freedom, love, etc)., but Tiana, however, has her mind set on making a living by owning a restaurant. She makesThere is no mention of a romantic interest atin the beginning of the movie from her—--she’s worked her whole life to get where she is now and has a solid plan to support herself.

1. Mulan

You don't meet a girl like that every dynasty.

It really should be no surprise that Mulan’s at the top. She’s proved herself to be every bit as equal as a man. She can fight, and she uses her wits to solve problems. Why, Mulan saved all of China… need I go on?

10. The Unbirthday Song (Alice in Wonderland)

A very merry unbirthday to me. To who? To me! Oh you!

Oh, how overlooked this song is. It’s pure nonsense and really serves no purpose, but I can’t help but love it anyway. I find the lyrics and the tune to be charming, and there’s something about it that makes me long for the little teacup rides at Disney World. Whatever the number one weirdest song on your list is, throw it out because this one takes the cake.

9. Immortals (Big Hero 6)

'Cause we could be immortals, immortals, just not for long, for long

I remember watching this scene in theatres as a kid. Immortals brought so much life to the scene where they were discovering their superpowers. It’s a pretty chill song. Also, I’m a sucker for Fall Out Boy.

8. I Just Can’t Wait to be King (The Lion King)

Oh, I just can't wait to be king!

Simba and Zazu’s dynamic in this song is hilarious! Everyone in the audience related to this song, kids and adults alike (for different reasons, however). The voice actors also did an excellent job portraying their characters here. It’s such a playful song which is a nice contrast to the darker parts of the movie.

7. Bare Necessities (The Jungle Book)

I mean the bare necessities; old Mother Nature's recipes

Unpopular opinion: this song was better than Hakuna Matata.

6. Be Our Guest (Beauty and the Beast)

Try the grey stuff, it's delicious

This was hands down, one of the best, if not the best scene in Beauty and the Beast. The melody is infectious and the execution of the song was spectacular. When you think of a typical Disney song, this is it.

5. Un Poco Loco (Coco)

The way you keep me guessing, I'm nodding and I'm yessing, I'll count it as a blessing

This song just has that feel-good vibe, the kind that makes you feel like getting up and dancing. Maybe we’re all kind of poco loco for this song.

4. This is Halloween (The Nightmare Before Christmas)

It's our town, everybody scream, in this town of Halloween

Spoopy.

3. I Won’t Say I’m in Love (Hercules)

No chance no way I won't say it, no no; it's too cliche I won't say I'm in love

There’s something about this song that’s just so refreshing—from the strong vocals to the sarcastic feels, this is a really good twist on the typical “falling in love” song Disney likes to put in their movies. Meg sets herself apart from all the other Disney princesses with this song, and her prior experience with love really makes her shine here, a nice contrast to our usual naive, first-love princess.

2. Remember Me (Coco)

For even if I'm far away I hold you in my heart; I sing a secret song to you each night we are apart

I think this was the only movie that’s ever nearly made me cry before. The lyrics and vocals were so beautiful, and the level of emotional depth it held was unlike any other Disney song I’ve ever come across. Even Ernesto’s jazzy version wasn’t half-bad.

Honourable Mentions:

Arabian Nights (Aladdin)

Honestly, A Whole New World gets way too much attention. Arabian Nights is an excellent example of an overshadowed song—for heaven’s sake, most people don’t even know this exists! If you’re going to rewatch Aladdin, I suggest paying close attention to the beginning, because this song sets the tone for the rest of the movie wonderfully. This song was phenomenal and matched the animation in the background perfectly. I got serious chills, listening to it for the first time.

Go the Distance (Hercules)

This song is so empowering! It perfectly matched the scene it was played with, and together, they made for a really beautiful, heartfelt moment. The only reason it didn’t get a spot on this list was because I found it a little too short, and the scene was rushed.

1. Cruella De Vil (101 Dalmatians)

If she doesn't scare you, no evil thing will

“Once you get a taste of them sweet sweet jazz chords, you can’t stop.” - Daniel Grushcow, M4

It’s funny that this entire song is essentially Roger making fun of Cruella (a “diss track” if you will). Throughout the movie, a light, airy, jazzy feel dominates the otherwise serious plot, adding in the perfect amounts of satire and humour.

What's your quarantine life in three words?

• Food ran out - Jessie Chen, M3

• Lazy Unsightly Wholesome - Edie Huo, F2

• Tiktok, food, and sleep :) - Margaret Lou, F2

• Bored, bored, bored - Elliot Tseng, M3

• Happy, content, happy - Grace Ko, F2

If COVID-19 created an Instagram profile, what would its username be?

• DeleteYourPlans - Edie Huo, F2

• $crewingoverh@ppinesssince2019 - Janice Wang, F2

• @soiruinedyouryear - Serena Suleman, M3

• Not the flu:) - Brianna Tota, F1

How's online school going?

• It's not "going" anywhere... *snicker* - Sophia Wang, F2

• Great! - Grace Ko, F2

• ha. haha. hahahahah. - Janice Wang, F2

• \_(^~^)_/ - Brianna Tota, F1

What’s the best Wi-Fi name you’ve seen?

• "stop streaming high res" - Jessie Chen, M3

• I am not kidding: FBI Surveillance Van #11 - Katerina Lyakisheva, F1

• long range 5G tower - Alexander Lyakishev, M4

• Haha Dont Even Try - Edie Huo, F2

• Don't Tief My Wifi - Joseph Yu, M4

What’s the first thing you'll do once we return to Humbert?

• hug all my friends. All of them. You can't hide. - Nicole Wong, F2

• Forget my locker combination - Sophia Wang, F2

• buy bbt no budget - Jessie Chen, M3

• Realize that I didn't actually ever miss the 63 and that my life was actually perfect without it - Katerina Lyakisheva, F1

What’s an interesting fact you’ve recently heard?

• The unicorn is the national animal of scotland - Edie Huo, F2

• This is old but seals make their bodies into a banana shape when they feel happy and secure :0 - Janice Wang, F2

• Turtles can breathe through their butts - Sophia Wang, F2

• Earth used to be covered with giant mushrooms that were 24 feet tall and three feet wide, instead of trees. - Elliot Tseng, M3

6 Delights

1. No More Public Transit

• Thank the lord - Janet

• The only "transit" now is a stroll down the stairs. How delightful! - Jessica

• That's four more hours every day, and I STILL stay up till 2 am to finish homework... - Joseph

2. Asynchronous learning time

• Everything feels so relaxed now :) - Jessica

• so much learning! - Mohammed

• Asynchronous sleeping time - Joseph

3. Netflix/binge watching

• Awesome! Really great way to distract yourself when you're stressed - Wendy

• causing my brain to melt - Mohammed

4. Grades can't go down

• !!!! :D - Jessica

• amazing - Mohammed

• Single-handedly saving me from failing all my classes - Joseph

5. The weather

• sunny and the right amount of warm :) - Joseph

6. YouTubers uploading more frequently

• the #content is overwhelming - Daniel

• More content to watch, but distracts from school - Wendy

6 Poisons

1. Social distancing

• I miss friends :( - Janet

• boring/tiring after a while - Mohammed

• I wAs sOcIaL DiStAnCiNg bEfOrE tHe pAnDeMiC - Daniel

2. AP college board

• Ughhhh.... don't get me started on them.... - Joseph

• APs were a joke this year - Wendy

• A scam - Janet

3. Clubs and competitions cancelled

• Upsetting, something that was fun to do with everyone else - Wendy

• hopefully next year? - Mohammed

4. Procrastination

• As prevalent as ever.... *sigh* - Joseph

• has increased somehow from before - Mohammed

• the death of me - Janet

5. Summative season

• Some things in life just can't escape us - Jessica

• the death of me pt. 2 - Janet

6. Turning on the mic/camera for online classes

   • Time to show off my amazing pandemic haircut - Jessica

   • it's nice to see people's faces - Wendy

   • the death of me pt. 3 - Janet

aries - telescope

an optical instrument designed to make distant objects appear nearer, containing an arrangement of lenses, or of curved mirrors and lenses, by which rays of light are collected and focused and the resulting image magnified.

aries, it’s been harder than ever to satisfy your yearning for adventure lately, and you might be feeling trapped. take some time to look up at the stars on a clear night—they’ll help you ground yourself in the world around you, and offer some whimsy to pass the time. keep your head up, both literally and figuratively!

taurus - rotoscope

a device which projects and enlarges individual frames of filmed live-action to permit them to be used to create cartoon animation and composite film sequences.

taurus, everyone’s been hit hard by the situation. you’ve probably been helping out your friends a lot by comforting them, and that’s super admirable, but remember to take some time for yourself. inspired by a rotoscope, settle in with a plushie and a Disney movie or two—you deserve it!

gemini - kinescope

a recording of a television program on motion picture film, directly through a lens focused on the screen of a video monitor.

gemini, you’ve always been good at being adaptable, no matter what challenges arise in your life. but, remember to be patient with yourself at this time. take advice from the kinescope, watch some Netflix with your buddies, and let yourself relax—even if you’re doing okay, you can still give yourself some much-needed self-care!

cancer - spectroscope

an optical device for producing and observing a spectrum of light or radiation from any source.

cancer, you’ve probably found yourself feeling protective of your close friends and family during this time, trying to take care of them and keep them safe by whatever (quarantined) means possible. be reassured, though—just like you’re the light in some peoples’ lives right now, there’s a light at the end of the tunnel to look forward to.

leo - otoscope

an instrument designed for visual examination of the eardrum and the passage of the outer ear, typically having a light and a set of lenses.

leo, it’s probably been difficult for you having that event you were looking forward to cancelled. what might help right now is living vicariously through your music. i’d suggest a dance party alone in your room or even on zoom with your friends!

virgo - stethoscope

a medical instrument for listening to the action of someone's heart or breathing, typically having a small disk-shaped resonator that is placed against the chest, and two tubes connected to earpieces

virgo, it’s very admirable that, throughout this mess, you’ve stayed organized and on top of your life as ever. but, make sure you’re taking some time to check in with yourself with your metaphorical stethoscope—how are you doing?—and prioritize self-care. you’ve earned it.

libra - aeroscope

a device used to collect dust particles, spores, etc. from the air for subsequent analysis.

libra, you’ve probably been involved in lots of e-conflict resolution lately, whether it’s between your friends or on twitter threads. take a deep breath (in a safe, socially distanced area). this too shall pass—you’re gonna get through it!

scorpio - microscope

an optical instrument used for viewing very small objects, such as mineral samples or animal or plant cells, typically magnified several hundred times.

scorpio, you’re always thinking at least a few steps ahead, and your friends admire your passion and dedication to always following through. right now, though, plans are always shifting. as if with a microscope, you may need to focus more closely on your life right now—and that’s ok!

sagittarius - copyscope

a copyscope is type of refracting telescope that can be made by hand rather than bought in which the objective lens comes from an old photocopy machine, hence the origin of the name

sagittarius, your loyalty knows no bounds, even in the midst of the pandemic. i’m here to reassure you that your thoughtfulness is felt and appreciated by everyone around you, and the unique creativity of the support you provide, like an emotional copyscope, brings happiness to those around you!

capricorn - gyroscope

a device used for measuring or maintaining orientation and angular velocity. It is a spinning wheel or disc in which the axis of rotation is free to assume any orientation by itself.

capricorn, your productivity and persistence even in the face of a global pandemic is admirable. make sure you’re remembering to be kind to yourself, though. now, more than ever, plans may spin off course like a gyroscope, and that’s okay! no matter what happens, you’ll be successful wherever life takes you!

aquarius - periscope

an apparatus consisting of a tube attached to a set of mirrors or prisms, by which an observer (typically in a submerged submarine or behind a high obstacle) can see things that are otherwise out of sight.

aquarius, you’ve probably been finding it difficult to express your authenticity and originality right now. like a periscope, look (and think) outside the box! even in the face of this unprecedented challenge, you’ll be able to find outlets for all your cool ideas and use them to bring joy to the rest of the world.

pisces - kaleidoscope

a toy consisting of a tube containing mirrors and pieces of colored glass or paper, whose reflections produce changing patterns that are visible through an eyehole when the tube is rotated.

pisces, you’re probably pretty emotional right now. the sad times are definitely difficult, but your colourful personality and bursts of happiness and joy have been doing kaleidoscopic wonders for your friends. don’t doubt yourself, and keep it up!

Dear Dreamworks Fan,

What an excellent question. If we are talking about which Pixar film is “best”, it’s important to be as objective as possible. Unfortunately, this would mean that the best Pixar film would more or less have to come down to one of the, in my opinion, very overrated “Toy Story” films. All of these films, though I’ve only seen the fourth one, are all:

• rather short with apparently all the films breezing under two hours

• have rather poor practical effects; none of the cast can do their own stunts and resort to CGI trickery)

• lack any emotional appeal; there’s only comedy or drama, no in-between

That being said, “Toy Story 2” is probably the best as you know the saying: 2nd is the best! Though, for my money, ”Antz” is Pixar’s masterpiece. Did you know that Dreamworks copied them and made a film called “A Bug’s Life” not too long after? What BUGgers (haha)!

You’re welcome,
Miss Advised

Hi Conflicted Movie Lover!

If you’re interested in an adventure franchise filled with swashbuckling high-seas thrills, then the Pirates of the Caribbean movie series is just the thing to keep you entertained during quarantine. It’s a five-movie series starring Johnny Depp as Jack Sparrow, the witty and conniving captain of the Black Pearl. It’s important to know that there’s lots of violence in Pirates of the Caribbean— while it’s not especially graphic, there are images that may be disturbing to some viewers along with some colorful pirate language. Other than that, the movie is rated PG-13, mostly due to the violence and imagery. Different people have varying tastes in movies so I would recommend that you watch the first movie “The Curse of the Black Pearl” and proceed from there.

I hope this helped! Stay safe at home :)

Dr. Swagger