Dear Dr. Swagger/Ms. Advised,

My brother is leaving for university in September. I know that might seem like a long way away, but I’m dreading it every day. I’ve never gone more than two weeks, tops without seeing him, and the thought of him not being around the house anymore bums me out. How can I prepare myself for it?

Hi loving sibling,

Thank you for sharing how you’ve been feeling!

Many of us grow up surrounded by loved ones and never think about the fact that one day, one of our family members may move away. It is an incredibly burdening and difficult topic to talk about. However, I would love to provide you with some advice regarding the process.

Firstly, it is incredibly important that you talk to your brother about how you are feeling, especially since he may not be aware of your emotions. The best way to prepare yourself for his absence is by having productive conversations with him about how you guys can stay in contact with each other when he’s at university. Perhaps it can be arranging times to call each other or sending letters—whatever works for the both of you. By letting your brother know about your perspective, he can be aware to check up on you and ensure that you feel comfortable when he’s gone.

Additionally, enjoy your time with him while it lasts!! Try not to fret too much about the situation. In our digital world, you will still be able to see your brother even if it is over FaceTime calls. Remember that here are also multiple holidays throughout the year where you can reunite and spend time with him. Aside from that, focus on the present instead of the future, especially since your time with him at home is limited. During breaks from school, go on bike rides or play something as simple as a board game together (I know, how old fashioned of me to say). Especially during the summer, it’ll be the prime time for you to appreciate the last moments with your brother. I suggest going on COVID-19 friendly trips with your family to the beach, to another city, or to anywhere you desire!

Lastly, you should realize that you can never truly prepare yourself for that inevitable end because it would be a new change nonetheless and will always be difficult at first. However, if you stay positive, after a couple weeks or months, you will eventually adapt to a different home environment as you develop a slightly new lifestyle without your brother. He will always be with you and I am certain that you will be prepared for September, as long as you stay optimistic and continue communicating with him.

Dr. Swagger is out! Good luck with everything :)

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