December 2021

Are you spontaneous, intuitive, or outgoing? You’re likely a Fire sign (Aries, Leo, Sagittarius). You might be feeling a little overwhelmed trying to get everything done before the New Year, but in true Fire sign spirit, you’ll use your bursts of enthusiasm and passionate sparkle to make the last month of the year the best one!

Aries, keep yourself surrounded by loved ones around a nice fireplace with a warm cup of hot chocolate. Maybe reach out to someone you miss, or pick up that hobby you haven’t done in a while. Leos, it’s understandable to feel stuck these days. Try something new, like hanging out with different people or trying new hobbies! What’s that new artist you heard recently? Or did you pass by a new thrift store? Sagittariuses, out of all the Fire signs you tend to rush yourself the most. Give yourself a proper break and a nice pat on the back. You’ve been working hard and you deserve that recognition from yourself.
Lucky numbers: 2, 8, 11, 25, 30

Curious, kind or a social butterfly? This is the calling for Air signs (Gemini, Libra, Aquarius). Always prepared, the three Air signs are just waiting for the last couple weeks of 2021 to be over. You have your holiday shopping done, room is organized and to-do list is double and tripled checked. Geminis, everyone loves your free-spirit and flexibility! But commitment is

something especially difficult for you guys. Work on making up your mind especially when it comes to your close relationships, both romantic and platonic. Libras, you are ruled by Venus, the planet of love and beauty—and that’s what you radiate! Known as the most harmonious of the signs, you guys are very diplomatic and know how to have peace in even the most stressful situations. Share your peace through advice this month. Someone out there needs it. Aquarians, as kind and peaceful as you are, take time to stop, think, and change what’s hurting you in your life. Remember to prioritize yourself! Even though you love being selfless and caring for others, you can’t forget to care about yourself! Practice some self care this season.

Lucky numbers: 4, 10, 17, 22, 28

Detailed-oriented, hard-working or down the earth? Sounds like an Earth sign (Taurus, Virgo, Capricorn). You guys are the most practical and problem-solving out of all the signs. You may feel overwhelmed with your Water sign friends, who are often buried in their feelings, or stressed by a Fire sign, who has new ideas every second and is probably multitasking their entire life. So during these couple weeks of Winter Break, give the perfectionist side of yourself some time to breathe, and explore something new—a new relationship, project or whatever it might be (?), Earth signs are amazing at building and cultivating something beautiful for everyone. Taureans, you guys are very in tune with your emotions and senses; maybe a little too in tune since you have a bit of a reputation for being stubborn. When problems arise, try listening with your ears

instead of your mouth. Maybe that will resolve some conflicts that have been on your mind recently. Virgos, even though Earth signs are known for being organized, you guys might need to straighten things up here or there. You are very thoughtful and sweet people, just make sure you’re putting your energy where it is recognized and deserved. Capricorns, holders of endless drive and determination, you guys get things done and always stick to the game plan. But remember to put that drive and determination in other areas of your life—success in one area and failure in another is not your key to success.

Lucky numbers: 5, 7, 16, 19, 31

Have you been described as intense, emotional or sentimental? You’re most likely a Water sign (Cancer, Scorpio, Pisces). Out of all the signs, you are the most likely to follow the heart instead of your head. You are always ready for important and serious conversations and can often tell when someone isn’t being genuine with you. Cancers, loyalty is something very important to you, either because you’ve been wronged in the past or you just like to keep your circles small. This can sometimes bite you in the back, as you distance yourself from new relationships just because you don’t know them that well. Scorpios, you tend to be on the more quiet side—maybe you consider yourself an introvert and like to stay in the comfort zone. With the new year coming, try to get out of your shell and explore the world in front of you! There are doors of opportunities everywhere—you just need to open them. Pisces, you are ruled by Neptune, the planet of dreams and fantasy. You might find yourself lost in your daydreams or sleeping through your alarm clock to continue that riveting dream in your subconscious. Make sure that what you’re seeing isn’t just a figment of your imagination. Take a step back and reassess.

Lucky numbers: 6, 12, 14, 21, 29

Don’t know your sign? Find out below!

Aries: March 21-April 19

Taurus: April 20-May 20

Gemini: May 21-June 20

Cancer: June 21-July 22

Leo: July 23-August 22

Virgo: August 23-September 22

Libra: September 23-October 22

Scorpio: October 23-November 22

Sagittarius: November 22-December 21

Capricorn: December 21-January 20

Aquarius: January 21-February 18

Pisces: February 19-March 20

#1:

Dear Ms. Advised,

My parents are threatening to disown me if I follow my dreams to become the next Diogenes. I love my parents but the idea of living in a barrel on the side of the street and spreading the teachings of Diogenes to all who pass my humble abode feels like my life's calling! What should I do?

Sincerely,

Diogenes Jr.

Hello Diogenes Jr,

I’m obviously not as much of a dedicated student to the school of Cynicism as you are so excuse me if I misinterpret some of Diogenes’ ideas, but I think of him as a critic of philosophers and their (?) abstract notions. He rejected a lot of conventions of society at the time and Jean Jacques-Rousseau (a French philosopher of the 16th century called ‘The New Diogenes’) pointed to longstanding intellectual institutions as sources of corruption. In cynicism, philosophers and other academics were considered pretentious, self-important, and prone to overinterpretation. You might be familiar with the common story of Diogenes angrily protesting Plato’s definition of man as “featherless bipeds” by dragging a plucked chicken to his lecture hall in mocking. What I am trying to illustrate is how Diogenes valued instinct and common sense over complex theories. So I will not waste my time trying to persuade you with a formal speech, instead I will remind you of simple common sense:

No money → no food → you die

No money → no shelter → you die

No polite → no friends → you die

I hope you can now see where I’m coming from. Writhing in pain because of a worm infection you got from drinking water out of a pond does not sound conducive with happiness, now does it?

Respectfully,

Miss Advised

#2:

miss adwised

lwast week i stawted twexting in uwu speweak and now i cant stawp pwease hewp uwu its cweeping into my schoowl wife and i dont know what to do uwu i sent a emaiw to my scwience teacher and i fowgor to edit so now they think im weird uwu pwease hewp me T^T

Distwaught UwU Kid ˚‧º·(˚ ˃̣̣̥⌓˂̣̣̥ )‧º·˚

Honestly, who cares what your teachers (and your university references) think of you? Clearly not you. I cannot imagine anyone seeing you text like this and encouraging it, so either you do not listen to your friends’ pleas to stop, or you need new friends. If it’s the former, I think it’s past the point where you can convincingly pretend to still have dignity and self-respect. Have you tried ripping the ‘W’ key off your keyboard? I think your writing would be infinitely more bearable if it had no ‘W’s than what it has right now.

Respectfully,

Miss Advised

What do you look forward to doing during the winter break?

Food and sleep – Angelina Xu, F1

Snowboarding! – Nathan Yang, M3

Warming my hands over a fire made of my old French workbooks – Jonathan Friedberg, S6

sleep and ski (not at the same time) – William Wang, S5

What do you like (or dislike) about December?

I like and dislike the weather... it's beautiful but can be painful sometimes. – Nathan Yang, M3

S N O W ! ! – Gabriel Tian, M4

I really like the Christmas spirit in December. All of the cheerful Christmas songs, the decorations, and the happiness in the air. – Sasha Brusilovsky, F1

Slushy muddy roads – Samantha Lee, S6

What's the best Christmas present you have ever received?

big box of magic: the gathering cards (come to mtg club btw) – William Wang, S5

A bank account. – Crystal Li, S5

An acoustic steel stringed guitar – Sasha Brusilovsky, F1

Hanukkah – Jonathan Friedberg, S6

A pillow – Srei Cocklin, F1

Overall thoughts on the year 2021?

a solid 1 to 2020's 0 – Alexander Lyakishev, S6

It was...good. "That's it?" Yes, that's it. – Celine Aricibasi, F1

7/10, better than 2020 – Jonathan Friedberg, S6

Covid 2.0 – Angelina Xu, F1

Gone way too fast – Samantha Lee, S6

Favourite holiday food?

Latkes with apple sauce – Jonathan Friedberg, S6

Gingerbread – Nathan Yang, M3

Steak with bacon with carrots with pumpkin. – Sasha Brusilovsky, F1

hash browns ramsey-style – William Wang, S5

an absurd amount of cookies – Alexander Lyakishev, S6