A not-so-technically-correct history of cell phones
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God controlling the universe.
Oil painting, 1600. Author unknown.
The painting shows how God takes advantage of modern cellular technology to be omnipresent in the universe. The artist has also inserted into the masterpiece the cloud used to automatically archive the data of the Universe. To increase the transmission speed, the user's office is placed close to the cloud.
Moses while downloading the ten commandments.
Oil painting of 1600 from a lost Roman copy. Unknown author.
The original document was very detailed and complete. However, the technology of the time, based on 2G cell phones, only provided for short text messages (SMS), limiting downloads to just 10 short sentences. Despite this, the connection represented a major advance in cloud download technology.
Cloud storage has made it possible to keep data for a very long time without alterations. In fact, we have to wait more than two centuries for the download of the entire text, nicknamed "the Bible" due to its size, and more than four centuries for the high-resolution figures inserted in the texts.
Noah on the ark checks the weather forecast.
Oil painting from the 1400s. Unknown author.
The introduction of a specific weather forecasting app on mobiles has been one of the key factors that has helped the survival of humanity.
Cellular coverage in these times was not very extensive, and not all animals received the message with their boarding passes. Among the animals that failed to embark is the Minollo, well known by the Italian population thanks to a famous scientific journalist, Massimo Troisi, who talks about it in one of his broadcasts.
Philippides informing fellow Athenians of the victory at Marathon.
Late 19th century reproduction from a lost Greek original. Unknown author.
This masterpiece shows one of the first mobile phone applications for people's safety. The use of the cell phone prevented the Greek warrior from running 50 km which would probably have caused serious health consequences such as death.
Julius Caesar as he rolls the dice to decide whether to cross the Rubicon River and seize power in Rome.
Oil painting on canvas. Copy of 1600 from an original Roman fresco.
The introduction of board game Apps on cellular phones was initially criticized by gaming enthusiasts, but the included dice roll App proved to be pivotal for the history of mankind.
Ballerina calls during a break.
Edgar Degas. Oil painting.
One of the masterpieces of impressionism. The delicate and precise strokes of the pictorial work reveal a long pose of the model, who remained in the same position for many hours waiting for the connection.
Lady in a carriage talking to her lover
Oil painting, 1930.
This painting owes its fame to the story of the model, Lady Chatterley, that was considered scandalous at the time of the painting's making.
Lady Chatterley's telephone calls were illegally intercepted and later disclosed in a file known as the "Lady Chatterley's Lover". Though immediately taken down by WikiLeaks, the file is still circulating on the Dark Web.
Reproduction courtesy of the "David Herbert Lawrence" private collection.
Der Tourist über dem Nebelmeer
Oil painting on canvas, Caspar David Friedrich, 1818.
The picture portrays one of the most famous tourists of the time, renowned for selfies in spectacular but dangerous conditions. The picture is taken from his last photo uploaded to Instagram.
The search for the missing tourist is still ongoing. If you have news, please call the nearest Police Office.
The Mona Lisa smiles while taking a selfie
Oil painting.
This little-known painting, initially erroneously attributed to an Italian immigrant in France, such Leonardo da Vinci, is indicated by all major art experts as one of the great masterpieces of Wassily Vasil'evič Kandinsky, and an icon of abstract art.
A rare photo of James Clerk informing friends of his recent theory.
The theory developed by Maxwell represented a fundamental contribution to the modern information society by allowing "Short stories videos" on Tik Tok.
Albert playing on his cell phone
Albert was a heavy user of gaming apps, to which he made a relatively large contribution. His phrase "God doesn't play dice, he plays Fortnite" is famous.
It is said that he was incredibly quick to use the touch screen and that he always skipped lunch not realizing the time he spent playing on his cell phone. He recounted his experiences in a short story "Zur Elektrodynamik bewegter Korper" which later became a best-seller.
Richard playing on his cell phone
Feynman was always critical of Einstein's choice, preferring to play a modern version of the dice App used by Julius Caesar, called QED. As can be seen from the photo, Richard was a quite suspicious player. To prevent opponents from copying his dice, he developed special dice that could not be cloned.
The no-cloning theorem appears to be applicable to the entire universe excluding a number of my students. This seems to support the existence of parallel universes with different physical laws and behavior rules from our universe.
The final paint does not evoke a smile. It captures a bit of the essence of the 写意 (xiěyì) style, whose literal meaning is "writing ideas" and can be loosely translated as "sketch style." This serene and tranquil aesthetic resonates with my own perception of life.