The "How You Met" Stories of Abram & Racine and Doug & Mike

Post date: Jun 30, 2012 4:52:24 PM

Last year, I contributed several “how you met” stories to So…How Did You MeetAnyway?, a blog operated by Susan Amestoy out of Vermont.

My first submission to her was a story about the time I spent with a special guy when I lived in Massachusetts. Susan was so enthused about the piece and the response to it that she asked if I had any more, so I started interviewing friends and submitting their stories to her.

I recently posted two previously unpublished stories, here are the remaining two.

So…How Did You Meet Anyway?

Abram & Racine

Abram and Racine met in August of 2005. They both worked for the same company, but on different coasts. He was living in Los Angeles and she was living in New York. Abram was being sent to New York to provide Pivot Table Excel training to the media buyers in that office. For Abram, this also constituted a free trip to get together with the girl he dated in college. For Racine, this simply meant finally meeting the guy she’d spoken to on the phone so many times.

Abram liked Racine right away and she knew it even though she found him annoying. Still, she invited him to a gathering she was having at her apartment that night.

The next day, Racine invited him to lunch with her and a friend of hers from work. While making small talk, Racine discovered that Abram had gone to Indiana University with another friend of hers who was also best friends with a girl he dated in college.

Abram had the following day off from work so Racine called in sick and they spent the day together. What Racine didn’t know was that Abram was dating a girl from the Los Angeles office.

A month later, Racine was sent to the Los Angeles office to train a new media buyer. She and Abram had continued their conversations and his crush on her was by now quite evident. The two kept it friendly while Racine was in town, as neither she nor his girlfriend Lisa were aware of the common ground they shared in the form of Abram.

Abram happened to be celebrating a birthday while Racine was in town and he had gotten tickets to a Dodger game. Since Lisa was going to be at a concert, he asked a co-worker to invite Racine to the game – thereby being able to provide a justification for Racine’s attendance at the game to Lisa. Racine joined him, his roommate and the new media buyer for the game.

Racine’s trip was eventually extended, so Abram invited her to his apartment for dinner with him, his roommate and his roommate’s girlfriend. By this time, Abram and Racine were getting very close and spending a lot of time talking to each other on the phone. All the while, Abram was still dating Lisa.

It wasn’t until December that Abram told the Los Angeles office of his relationship with Lisa. At the same time, he finally told Racine of his relationship with Lisa. Racine was initially pissed off and her friends, who are primarily male and got wind of this, started to call Abram repeatedly with death threats -- an occurrence Racine was unaware of until the retelling of their story for this piece. By this time, Racine had already developed feelings for Abram and decided she would ultimately win him.

In January (of 2006), Racine returned to Los Angeles and Abram took the day off to spend with her. Meanwhile, his girlfriend Lisa was working. Abram picked Racine up at her hotel and he took her to breakfast. They then went to Malibu for sushi with two friends of Racine’s -- who teased Abram for still dating Lisa and not her.

The following month, Abram traveled to New York for work and wound up hanging out with Racine on Valentine’s Day. Lisa was justifiably pissed but Abram attempted to make up for it by sending her conciliatory flowers. When he showed up at Racine’s apartment, she was wearing very short shorts with a very tight tank top in an attempt to fully execute her plan to win him. However, in keeping a long-standing fidelity promise to himself, Abram didn’t give in to the temptation but while the two were lying next to each other on her couch watching The Birdcage, he “accidentally” grazed her breast.

A major snowstorm hit the area the following day. Racine had decided to stay over with her aunt in Tribeca, so she and Abram met up for lunch as he was also staying in the city. It was at this lunch that she professed her love for him. Abram told her that though he likes her, he is still with Lisa and therefore nothing could happen…right now.

That trip was the turning point of their relationship.

By the time Abram returned to Los Angeles, Lisa knew of his crush on Racine and that it was also the beginning of the end of their relationship. What she didn’t know was how serious the feelings were between Abram and Racine.

Before leaving for a trip to South America that March, Racine asked Abram to tell her exactly what was going on between him and Lisa. Abram admitted that both he and Lisa knew it wouldn’t last but they were still having fun. However, given his feelings for Racine, Abram knew that he had to break up with Lisa even though the two of them were planning a trip to Jamaica.

Toward the end of the month, Lisa called Abram to book the trip. He told her that they could go to help the relationship but they both knew that their relationship was over and broke up that night.

Abram and Racine emailed constantly while she was in South America. She returned thinking they could now be together. Abram was unexpectedly reluctant and wanted some time and space.

In April, Abram went to New York again for work. Racine told him they should get together and they decided to give it a shot. That night, she once again professed her love for him. He replied that one day he’ll feel the same.

The next night, Abram professed his love to Racine.

The two traveled back and forth seeing each other and meeting each other’s families. A few months later, Abram told Lisa about him and Racine. Lisa said that she was not surprised as she and he were just not meant to be.

Abram and Racine dated bicoastally for a year and a half before Racine moved to LA in September of 2007. They got engaged in August of 2008, married on Halloween 2009, moved back to New York in mid-2011 and had their first child in March of 2012.

So…How Did You Meet Anyway?

Doug & Mike

Doug and Mike met on gay dot com. It was an “almost didn’t happen” situation because if Mike had used his previous profile picture of him during Halloween in his pimp costume, then Doug wouldn’t have bothered to private message him in the first place – despite the fact that he had already passed the “cute” test.

From Mike’s vantage point, Doug’s picture wasn’t particularly cute as it made him look like he had a growth coming out of his neck. Nevertheless, Mike was a nice guy and responded.

It was a Sunday late in the summer of 2003 and their e-conversation lasted for quite some time that day and several subsequent e-conversations occurred. Doug lived in Saginaw (Michigan), an hour and a half away from Mike in Ann Arbor (also in Michigan).

“Next time you’re around, let’s meet up,” Mike suggested in one of those subsequent e-conversations.

As it happened, Doug was going to be in Ann Arbor for another date later in the week – though he told Mike he was just seeing a friend. Doug was casually dating the other guy, but wasn’t really sure if it was what he was looking for. He sent Mike an email a few days later confessing that the other friend was actually a second date. Mike didn’t mind since Doug at the time was “just the nice guy with a growth”.

Doug drove a shitty car, which he used as a litmus test for guys. Mike had a similar test in the form of the cheap and divey Fleetwood Diner in Ann Arbor. Mike did not have a car as he had given it to his younger brother for college, so Doug picked him up in his jalopy and Mike suggested they go to the Fleetwood.

Mike thought Doug’s car was very cool and the two chatted at the diner for a couple of hours about their lives, families, exes and the future.

After eating, Mike and Doug walked around for a bit. Mike suggested that they go see a movie, but Doug was not interested in paying for the art films that were showing in Ann Arbor since he had never heard of them and his home town of Saginaw never showed anything like that. Instead, they went back to Mike’s apartment and watched Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf.

Notorious for falling asleep while watching movies, Doug asked Mike if he could use his leg as a pillow and…

…A couple hours later, Doug got dressed to go on his other date.

As Doug was getting dressed, Mike told him that he could come back and stay overnight if he got too tired to drive home.

“I guess the other date went well,” Doug’s other date commented when Doug met him with a hickey on his neck.

Doug’s other date was a bartender with a pending job opportunity in Detroit, which is where he took Doug to watch him tend bar. After a couple of hours, the managers decided they liked him and asked if he would work the full night. Doug was ready to leave so “the other date” took him back to his place. Doug ended the date, left and decided to head back to Mike’s apartment.

At a fork in the road, Doug stopped to call Mike and asked him if his offer still stood. Mike said yes.

The next morning, Mike made pancakes for Doug. Afterwards, Doug went back home to Saginaw. The two kept in touch and both fell hard and fast for each other very quickly. After three months of phone conversations and a few mutual weekend visits, they discussed taking their relationship to the next step.

Doug told Mike that he wasn’t seeing anyone else and didn’t want to see anyone else. Mike then invited Doug to come home with him to New Orleans for the holidays. Mike made plans to have Doug stay with a friend since his family wasn’t comfortable with the whole gay thing and he knew his parents wouldn’t let Doug stay in their house. With the exception of Mike’s brother, Doug didn’t meet Mike’s family.

For their anniversaries, Doug typically made cards since he was a poor college student. But on their fourth in September of 2007, it was Mike who made the card -- as a means of determining their status as boyfriends, partners or fiancés?

Doug and Mike were engaged that day and legally married on their fifth anniversary in September of 2008 - in front of both sets of happy parents!