#194 - "The Elyke Dinner"
Post date: Aug 13, 2012 3:4:6 PM
Featuring:
Chris – Erick’s boyfriend
Hunter – Erick’s neighbor friend
Elyke – Erick’s friend and former neighbor
Cole – Elyke’s brother
Chris walks out of Erick’s bedroom and sees Erick lying on the couch watching the first season of Cheers on Netflix DVD. “Why aren’t you dressed?” he asks.
Erick pauses the DVD. “Because I’m not going.”
“Why not?”
“Because I’m watching Cheers. I’ve finally made my way down to the first season and I’d like to finish the series tonight.”
“What about dinner with Elyke?”
Last summer Elyke, one of Erick’s neighbors and good friends, moved to Berkeley to finish his degree.
Flashback: “The Elyke Goodbye” – August 25, 2011
Though the two have kept in semi-regular contact, they haven’t seen each other since that time despite repeated invitations on both ends.
“What about it?”
“He’s expecting you.”
“No he’s not. I already told him I wasn’t coming.”
“But if you’re not going, then why am I?”
“Why wouldn’t you? Don’t you want to see him?”
“Sure, but he’s more your friend than mine.”
“Don’t worry. It’s not like you’ll be alone with him. Hunter, Cole and Mitch will be there. Don’t you like Hunter, Cole and Mitch?” Erick asks rather condescendingly.
Chris rolls his eyes. “I’m well aware of the guest list. Now why are you no longer on it?”
“He made me mad.”
Chris sits down at Erick’s dining room table and rests his head on his right hand. “How is it you two have already had a fight before even seeing each other?”
“Well, you know how Elyke is.”
“I also know how you are. What happened?”
There’s a knock on the door and Erick gets up to answer it. On the other side, stands Hunter -- arms folded with an “are you kidding me?” look on her face.
“Are you kidding me?” she asks.
“Come on in,” Erick says as he returns to the living and lies back down on the couch.
Hunter follows Erick to the couch and stands over him. “There are three guys in my apartment waiting for you so we can go to dinner. And the reason for the dinner tells us you’re not coming?”
“Correct,” Erick replies matter-of-factly.
“I don’t know which one of you two is the bigger idiot, you for requesting anything of Elyke knowing he won’t cooperate or Elyke for not cooperating even though we all know he’s going to eventually do.”
“And when he does, I’ll be at the dinner.”
“You two are ridiculous. Are you coming, Chris?” Hunter asks as she heads for the door.
Chris gets up from the table and follows after Hunter. “I still don’t even know what happened…or what’s happening, for that matter.”
“It’s just classic Erick and Elyke nonsense,” Hunter says as she opens the door to find Elyke’s brother Cole on the other side.
“Thank you,” Cole says with a smile as he walks into the apartment. He sits on the couch next to Erick. “I have a message for you from Elyke. He text it to me to read to you since you’re not speaking to him and therefore probably won’t read or respond to it.”
“Is it me or is this absurd?” Chris asks.
“The latter,” Hunter replies.
“Where’s Mitch?” Erick asks.
“He just booked a last-minute overnight location shoot, so he’s at home sleeping,” Cole answers.
“Ok, let’s hear from the Dipshit,” Erick says.
Cole pulls out his cell phone and reads Elyke’s text. “It is conceivable that you are on occasion not not missed by me. That’s the best you’re going to get. Now please come to dinner with us.”
“Isn’t that sweet?” Erick says victoriously.
“Erick, I’m hungry. Are you coming or not?” a frustrated Chris asks.
Erick gets up off the couch. “Yes,” he replies as he walks past Chris, pats him on the ass and walks into the bedroom.
“What is it with him and Elyke?” Chris asks.
“They’ve been like that with each other since Elyke moved in,” Hunter explains. “It’s just their natural way. And a beautiful love story when you think about it. Man likes dipshit. Dipshit likes man. Man plays with dipshit’s head. Dipshit is overmatched.”
“Maybe so, but today I can’t tell which one’s the dipshit,” Chris remarks.
“I can hear you, Christopher Hart Russell,” Erick states loudly from his bedroom.
“That was the point,” Chris hollers back.
“It’s usually more entertaining than it is right now,” Hunter assures Chris.
Cole gets up and walks over to Chris and Hunter. “My brother doesn’t always express himself very well, but he’s very obvious about his feelings toward Erick – and anyone else for that matter.” he explains.
“So should I be worried?” Chris playfully mumbles to Hunter.
“It’s conceivable that you might not not not need to not not be somewhat worried on occasion…or not,” Hunter jokes.
Chris and Cole chuckle. “What was this tiff about today?” Chris asks.
“Are you sure you want to know?” Hunter asks.
“It’s pretty silly,” Cole warns.
Chris nods.
****************************
Chris storms into Erick’s bedroom and closes the door. “Are you telling me that all this has been about wanting Elyke to say that he misses you?”
Erick selects a kangol hat from his stack of nine. “Give me some credit, Chris. This is about Elyke refusing to say it – which is far more egregious.”
“Don’t sit next to me at dinner,” Chris admonishes as he opens the door and walks out of the bedroom.
****************************
“Is Erick coming?” Elyke asks from outside the apartment door.
“He’s in the bedroom. He’s almost finished getting ready,” Chris says as he rushes out the door to wait outside.
“Why don’t you wait for him in here?” Hunter suggests as she walks out the door. “He’ll be happy to have a few moments alone with you.”
“I’ll bet,” Elyke remarks.
“And if you two take more than five minutes, I’ll know why,” Cole teases as he follows Hunter.
“If I have to spend more than five minutes alone with him, I’ll jump off the balcony,” Elyke calls out behind Cole.
Erick walks out of his bedroom and into the kitchen to get his wallet. “That can be arranged.”
Erick and Elyke stare at each other for a moment. Elyke shifts his weight and forth while trying to avoid making direct eye contact with Erick.
“You’re not going to turn into stone,” Erick chides dryly.
“What?”
“Am I going to get a hug?”
“That wasn’t in the deal.”
“JUST GIVE HIM A HUG SO WE CAN GO EAT!” Chris, Hunter and Cole yell from outside.
“How did they know?” Elyke asks as Erick embraces Elyke, which Elyke reluctantly returns.