Who is Abba?
by Yudy Sheinfeld
Most of us have been asked to recount our favorite story about Abba. I guess I was also, and as more often than not I have decided not to listen to the rules, for most of you know I am the one that causes the most trouble among the boys. (Shoshana too.) I recently read a book (believe it or not) written by Mitch Albom, a sports reporter for The Detroit Free Press, called ‘Tuesdays with Morrie’, a New York Times Bestseller. It is a story about an old college professor of his that he goes back to spend time with as the professor is dying. Not really important, but anyhow, the point is that in the book he mentions how Morrie didn’t like the idea that at a funeral everybody gets up and talks about the person. Rather, they should all tell their tales while he is alive so he can enjoy them also. Therefore, I have decided to write not a story but rather a description, which will probably include several stories, of whom Abba really is.
Most of you know the finer details, born on October 14, 1950, the eldest son of a fine couple named Mike and Edith Sheinfeld. He would grow up as the oldest of four children, two boys and two girls; being the oldest of the children he was a natural born leader (like me). Most of us have heard the tales of all the trouble he got into as a youngster, whether coming from Bubbe’s mouth or his own we all know them by heart. Yet, somehow, he never really gets tired of telling them to us.
Then came that fateful day in September of 1971, when he married Marsha, daughter of Selwyn and Ettie Weiss, fine people in their own right (little did they know what they were getting themselves into). This was a very important point for as much as we are here to reminisce about Abba, without Mom there is no Abba, for she helped shape him into the round man that he is (he claims he was skinny before he met her). Things were going well and soon Ely came into the picture and they were truly starting to form a family. In 1975, with another one on the way, it was time to move and they bought their first house. (Little did they know what a wonderful kid their latest addition to the family would turn out to be.) This is where I come into the picture so the details will begin to become much clearer now. (In retrospect probably not)
I don’t really remember much about those first few years, although I heard recently that I went to a wedding shortly after being born. Abba was working hard for Grandpa at the gas station and being a great dad (again, I don’t really remember much, but that is what they tell me). Through and through Abba has always been a big sports fan, that and coke, (the beverage, not the narcotic) and this is something he has truly passed on to his children, unfortunately Levy took on too much with the Cubs. Although, I can’t say I remember the first game he took me to, I have plenty of memories of the numerous ones he has taken me to since. Whether it was the day at Wrigley field that Barry Foote broke a window across the street, or that day in 1989 that Will Clark broke our hearts with a Grand Slam onto Sheffield Avenue, those memories will stick with me forever. There was always the Sunday morning carpool to Soldier Field for the Bears game, of course, unfortunately, most of the time I was in the carpool that went to school instead of the game. My friends know if they want tickets to a local sporting event Abba is one of the first people to call. He has eve taken one of his children, not me for some reason, to the most exciting one-day sports event in America, The Super Bowl. For me however, there is nothing like sitting at Wrigley Field enjoying a game, and everyone knowing the guy next to me, my dad.
Many are the memories of Abba and Mom coming to all the sporting events their children participated in whether little league baseball, biddy basketball or high school basketball. He was always there to cheer on his boys, although most of them could take him on any day. He would talk about how he used to play sports, but for those of us who have witnessed his attempts lately, we have trouble believing him. I have fond memories, as a little kid, of going to Warren Park or even sometimes Peterson Park to watch Abba play softball. I don’t really remember him playing but I remember going to the park. Then lately there had been his halfhearted attempt to play in Alumni basketball games at the Yeshiva; he would later say Mom told him to take it easy as to not hurt himself. Excuses, Excuses.
There are many memories of Abba to share, whether the family trips to Atlantic City, to the ever-fateful road trip to Florida, when he wouldn’t listen to me about needing gas. I have noticed how the accommodations for traveling have changed as the years have gone on. Whereas, our trip to Florida we all piled into the family van, Abba has since upgraded to only Business Class on his trips. Notice: Abba, not me. However, those family car trips were always fun, because by the time we got to where we were going every one wanted to get away from each other. In reality they were true bonding experiences and gave us opportunities to come up with stories for situations like these. The trips to Atlantic City always enabled us to enjoy fine dining at some restaurant I never could pronounce. We were treated like VIPs able to go to any show in the city we wanted. Of course, only now being old enough to gamble myself and try to get some perks do I realize what one has to do to receive those advantages. And although Abba no longer gambles he takes delight in listening to me recount my very infrequent trips to Atlantic City, I go to Foxwoods instead (Just Joking, Calm down Mom).
Every morning Abba would come downstairs and wake us up for carpool for school, of course he never believed me when I told him I didn’t feel well (so of course I went and called Mom to pick me up). It didn’t matter how late he had been up, whether it was the middle of winter and he was up during the night to deal with the snow plowing, somehow he still got up to wake us up. He always drove our carpool early in the morning, until we got our license and it was easier to let us have a car or get another family member to drive. One morning in my high school days, I was running late but had made a stop at Dunkin Donuts to pick up breakfast anyhow. For a while I had dreamed of being the guy that as soon as he walked in the lady behind the counter got his order ready, because she knew his order. Anyhow, I am waiting in line and in walks Abba and sure enough he skips right over the line because the lady knew his order. As he saw me in line he gave me a disapproving look. He couldn’t believe I had stopped even though I was late for school. However, he let it slide, he must have understood that common bond of a craving for DD for Breakfast. That was one of those moments when I truly aspired to be like MIKE, uh I mean Abba.
While Abba had his four boys, after the latest family trip to New York, a week in the mountains, the weekend in the City and then the mandatory jaunt down to Atlantic City for a day or two, along came the princess, Shoshana. While most people thought it was Mom that wanted a girl finally, we all know it was Abba that wanted a girl. For then he would finally be able to pull her ponytail all the time, one of his greatest pleasures. In truth the Princess had now arrived and the rest of us could have become second-class citizens, but we were all still just as important. (Don’t tell Shoshana that.) We didn’t all get new dresses every week, but then again that would have been weird wearing dresses.
With half of his siblings moving to Israel Abba was faced with two issues. One was that half his family was across the world; with the advances in technology this has become less of a problem; e-mail, AOL instant messenger and cheaper phone rates have enabled him to keep up on all the latest happenings with his family. Of course this all means he is never too far from his mother then, which brings us to our next point. The other issue, and more importantly, was that he was the only child left in Chicago, which means the only one his mother could complain to. But he has learned to handle all of her complaints; quite simply he just ignores her, or sends one of us over there to deal with the problem.
Technology is a funny thing for Abba, we all know about his prowess with the cell phone (Make sure to lock the keys). I remember the old days when as a little kid Abba wouldn’t let us play Nintendo, not because he was a responsible parent and didn’t think it was good for us, rather because he wanted to play. That lasted until Mom bought a Nintendo lock. I remember that dreadful day, coming home, running downstairs and being stupefied by the weird looking thing blocking the cartridge. It didn’t really matter though for as hard as Abba tried he still couldn’t beat our high scores. Then just when Abba thought he would have the computer for himself because all the boys had moved out, Shoshana started to commandeer the computer. Abba has progressed well with the use of the computer, and has even become Grandpa’s right hand man when dealing with the stock market online. Although, when Yaakov shows up he has to take a back seat, which is because Yaakov is too busy screwing around pretending he knows what he is doing (Kind of like Mark)
While one can probably go on, and Bubbe would if we let her, I must now conclude (come see me later if you want more, I just ran out of time, my publisher-Shayna- gave me a strict deadline). For all the memories, whether good or bad, they will all stay with me for a long time. He has taught me many lessons, whether not to get any driving tickets, (or at least don’t tell him, although it doesn't seem to work for Ely) or try to stay out of trouble. The most important thing I’ve learned from Abba is his dedication and work ethic, for as long as I remember he has gone to work six days a week and almost never takes off sick. People may joke how he goes to the ballgames often, but the bottom line is he goes to work every day. Don’t get me wrong I haven’t taken his work ethic yet, I only said I noticed it. Whether it is the Car Wash, Adas Yeshurun, Arie Crown, the JCC, (all Chicago sports teams), his family, and most important, Mom; If you take a look you will see a very dedicated man.
Someone who will not only support but fight for the causes and people he truly believes are right.
I want to conclude with one thought. It is a thought that I hear a zillion times about Abba, even though I am approximately 733 miles away (at least according to my mileage account). The reason I hear it so much is because it comes out of my roommate, Sheemon Zackai’s, mouth once a day. He insists that never has he seen a father and son duo, and he knows a lot of people, as much alike as Abba and myself. I am not sure if he is saying it as a compliment, but to me that is the best compliment that I could ever receive, well aside form my good looks, natural talent and brains, but I digress.
So, WHO IS ABBA?
We still aren’t sure- check back after another fifty.
But for now I am glad he is my Abba.
May we all merit to be back in another fifty years to celebrate and retell all the stories of the next fifty years.
And now for the stories...
(please click on a selection on the left)