Being Non-Verbal, Speech Delay & Autism

No Functional Language? (Internal & External - Receptive & Expressive)

Words and sounds swilled around my head but nothing was tangible nor meaningful, with anything the additional problems I faced meant that I had problems with processing speech but also at using it at functional level of understanding or comprehension. Looking back I was trapped in a body that wouldn't obey my commands my verbal wants or needs at the same time (the conception of "knowingness" wasn't there in many respects) so not only did I have speech delay but severe language deficits that ran well into late infancy. Living a world before typical meaning was in itself a cage I didn't have  language in head for many years it was kaleidoscopic, fragmented, ethereal and non-descript. In mid infancy I felt a frustration when words were expressively produced in manner which was clipped, stunted and not correct I remember feeling frustrated and detached. I believe words were within me but they the grip to get them is really beyond words to describe, but my parents always knew that they were within me.

Speech Delay Criteria 

The warning signs of early speech delay are categorized into age related milestones, beginning at the age of 12 months and continuing through early adolescence.

At the age of 12 months, there is cause for concern if the child is not able to do the following:

• Using gestures such as waving good-bye and pointing at objects - No because I as disconnected from my body

• Practicing the use of several different consonant sounds - No hadn't progressed in this area

• Vocalizing or communicating needs - No was disconnected from "self" and "other"

Between the ages of 15 and 18 months children are at a higher risk for speech delay if they are displaying the following:

• Not saying “momma” and “dada” - Yes I was aware of them my parents but couldn't comprehend them 

• Not reciprocating when told “no,” “hello,” and “bye” - I was meaning deaf, meaning blind, face blind and body language blind

• Does not have a one to three word vocabulary at 12 months and up to 15 words by 18 months - spoke at 2 and half/3 years old and "lost" speech

• Is unable to identify body parts - body disconnection and finger agnosia

• Displaying difficulties imitating sounds and actions - Didn't "connect" meaning straight away

• Shows preference to gestures over verbalization - Yes I did because of auditory processing disorder

Additional signs of speech delay after the age of 2 years and up to the age of 4 include the following:

• Inability to spontaneously produce words and phrases - "Lost words" and meaning deaf

• Inability to follow simple directions and commands - "Lost words", meaning deaf and no visual memory

• Cannot make a two word connections - meaning deaf 

• Lacks consonant sounds at the beginning or end of words - speech apraxia

• Is difficult to understand by close family members - Yes

• Is not able to display the tasks of common household objects - "losing" words", speech apraxia, body disconnection, meaning deafness, meaning blind

• Is unable to form simple 2 to 3 word sentences - didn't gain "functional" speech until 7/8 years old

Conclusion

Overall I started to speak (with no build up and "missing milestones" look above) and non-verbal until 1989 saying three words, then from 1990 onwards I regressed and lost skills in verbal language this persisted in me being non-verbal so from pre-school onwards slowly I made monolithic sounds and was saying "loo-loo" (meaning "water") I was non-verbal from birth 1986 until 1989 then from 1990 until 1992. I then gained functional speech between the ages of 7/8 1993/94 (of a 3 year old developmentally).

So these are the factors to my speech and language delay from a Neurodevelopmental perspective 

• Brain damage to left hemisphere (receptive and expressive language disorders)

• Speech articulation difficulties (well late infancy) oral apraxia

• Developmental regression at 3 years old

• Internalising and externalising speech (meaning, context, reasoning)

• Visual perceptual difficulties (no visual memory to "tag on to" words) 

• "Self" and "other" processing 

Mutism

I was would say that certain people let off "bad energy" which would leave me mute and unable to speak even during my teenage and early adult years with improved articulation skills people could leave in a state of silence, when I was younger if the there was too much visual and auditory stimulation on top of the bad energy this was also a trigger for going inwards for me.

Exposure Anxiety D. Williams

Donna Williams talks very candidly about this and in my younger years this was problem this was to do with not being in control and a wave of emotions would hit me all at once like your body and your mind being split in two and each decision was over run by a backup program of running away and not being able take the pressure of "feeling and "being" exposed. This would happen when I was aware people listening, viewing and or wanting to show an interest in things I enjoyed and liked to do.

Picking up "Vibes"

"Things" were my friends but I did connect with people around me, but in a different way. I loved both my parents and I always have but when I was child I related to them different ways and also interacted with them in a different ways also. I was very good at sensing "negative" and "positive" vibes in people and would run away from the "fear and pain" that had me either in fits of manic laughter or depressive and  engrossed sobs, I lived for the moment and would live for the day as the expression goes.

Understanding others

I did slowly begin to understand what was going on around me. If I wasn't it was because of the factors of living in a visual and auditory fragmentation along with mutism and exposure anxiety, yes I heard many things and saw many things and even though at times I was so engrossed in the sensory based world I could piece many things together eventually. I was "written off" something I see sadly with people whom are non-verbal and highly able in many ways this is sad and needs to change. Autism is a learning curve and the knowledge needs to keep going.

Donna Williams' link about communication in functionally  non-verbal autistics 

Thanks Donna for your help. :-)