his was made by Mondo Disgusto, a longbearded Biker Guy with many WONDROUS viewpoints on things. The website it was on (www.hognutz.com) was up in 2000-2005, but here are the rants preserved.
Mondo Disgusto Rant Archivals
- And Justice For All."?
by: Mondo Disgusto
I hate lawyers!
I'm sure we are all aware of the statue of the goddess of Justice, blind-folded to signify impartiality and holding the scales of equality and the sword of justice, that stands in our hallowed halls of - ahem - JUSTICE. What I'm not sure of is when she became a round-heeled old whore who spreads her legs for who-ever has the most MONEY! We have Politicians passing laws to favor the rich and shameless, Lawyers who exploit those laws for the rich and shameless and activist Judges who just make up laws as they go along. Hollywood celebrities, sports stars, politicians and the filthy rich can beat murder, rape, blackmail, fraud, corruption and assorted other felony beefs while a poor man will do five years in a Canyon City federal graybar for defending himself from a drunken assault at Lake Mead. Even Martha only got five months and a new magazine "Living - Behind Bars".
Our court system is collapsing under the weight of frivolous law-suits filed by scum sucking parasitic lawyers on behalf of a butt-load of sniveling whiners with a victim mentality and an overwhelming desire for a free ride. These assholes load up the court docket so tight they keep people with legitimate beefs from ever getting a court date. They file class-action suits for the purpose of self-enrichment (you don't think the plaintiffs get the money, do you?). John Edwards made his money on product liability and medical mal-practice suits (and blames the rising cost of medical care on Da Prez). Lawyers for the mega-buck corporations protect their clients from somebody taking their trademarks while protecting their clients from being sued for stealing a small guys trademark. Case in point;
I have a cripped up, old-school bro who, with his wife, came up with a great piece of headgear for those of us in the wind. I was there when Cathie figured out a headwrap for Vic. I was there when they decided (at the behest of Vic's bros) to produce and market them. I was there when Vic came up with the name "SKULLDANA" and applied for and was granted the registered trademark, SKULLDANA®. I have watched Vic and Cathie grow their business up for the last eleven years. Over the years there have been a few cases where somebody thought the word SKULLDANA® was a generic term, but generally quit using the word after Vic called or e-mailed them with the trademark registration info. But, alas, NOT NIKE!
Nike decided they liked the word so well that they sent to Viet Nam and had a shitload of south-central L.A. gangsta-style do-rags made and called them "Skuldanas". A Federal trademark is an "Intellectual Property" belonging to the owner of the trademark. Nike stole this property. The law does not provide for a certain amount of change (as in a patent or copyright) and prohibits a "confusingly similar mark". Skuldana sounds (and looks) confusingly like SKULLDANA®.
Vic, knowing that he was ill equipped to fight a paper battle against paper warriors (he fights the old-fashioned way-for blood) he hired an attorney. The attorney fired off a letter of "Cease and Desist" and made demands for fair and just reparation, as follows:
Stop all manufacture and sale of all products bearing the SKULDANA trademark;
Cease all advertising of these products;
Provide all stock in inventory to us for destruction;
Arrange for return of unsold stock from customers;
Provide to us a list of names and addresses of all customers to whom infringing copies were old and the number sold to each;
Provide to us an accounting of your profits from the manufacture and/or sale of infringing copies, prepared by a certified public accountant;
Disgorge these profits to us; and
Pay our attorneys' fees and costs regarding this infringement.
Vic and Cathie, being honest folk, decided that this was only fair (NIKE makes the same demands plus makes the offender pay multi kilo-bucks per article bearing an infringing mark) and did not try to get rich, just a little JUSTICE! Nikes' "liars" failed to respond, forcing Vic's' "liar" to chase them down and make them respond. Their final response was tantamount to saying, "fuck you, sue us" and sold off their remaining product. That is when Vic's "liar" quit. Vic and Cathie contacted several "liars"; some of who agreed to take the case until they found out it was the all-powerful Nike. Others wanted huge bucks up front and still others would not take the case because they did not feel that there was enough money to be made. The old whore spread her legs, but not for Vic and Cathie. Vic sent letters to various folk at FOX news-no response. Thus I have taken it upon myself to let the world of scoot folk know about it. I loathe attorneys as much as I do bankers, politicians, insurance companies, tax collectors and child molesters. And now I really loathe NIKE. There are a lot of excellent reasons to boycott NIKE but this one hits close to home.
To Phil Knight, President and CEO of NIKE - your lawyers can only protect you in court. What will you do when you meet somebody you have fucked over while walking down the street? Your asshole attorneys can not do a damn thing if a biker decided to bitch slap your ass for being a cheese-dick. If I had any NIKE products I would cheerfully shit in them and send them to you. If I saw you on the street I would gleefully slap you to your knees and piss in your face. As for attorneys, I'm sure some of you will take umbrage at the things I have just said and will want to get on here and talk shit. Forget it! Unless you are willing to prove me wrong by taking Vic and Cathie's case, you can just shut the fuck up!
If this pisses off any of the scoot folk out there send a letter expressing your outrage to:
Phil Knight, President and CEO
Nike World Headquarters
1 Bowerman Drive
Beaverton OR 97005
My dad always said, "If you want the law call Winchells, if you want justice, shut up and take care of it yourself."
Son of Stupid Shit
by: Mondo Disgusto
The City of San Diego (California... again) has been ordered by the local court to cease and desist doing business with the Boy Scouts of America. The city leases a park to the B.S.A. for a dollar a year, the B.S.A. maintains the park (it is open to the public year-round) and uses it for their functions. The A.nti C.hristian L.itigation U.nit in a frenzied attack of a vengeful nature sued the city for doing business with the B.S.A. under the guise of "separation of church and state". The B.S.A. was awarded a decision by the Supreme Court, saying that a private organization can exclude homosexuals and atheists. Well, this really pissed off the A.C.L.U., so they went around looking for somebody who would take umbrage at this decision and finally managed to come up with two couples who were willing to cry "victim" and let the A.C.L.U. represent them. One couple who sued on behalf of atheists is a pair of agnostics. My dictionary defines agnostic thus; "a person who believes that nothing is known or can be known about the existence of God or about things outside of human experience." In other words an agnostic believes in God but can't know God. They are not "atheistic". The other couple is a pair of lesbians who sued on behalf of the fags. Follow along with me here. Two women who don't want to have sex with men sued the B.S.A. (not the Girl Scouts) because the boys don't want to have sex with men!! The judge (and I use that term facetiously) has, against all reason, decided that the B.S.A. is a church based on the Boy Scout Oath, where-in the members swear to "do my duty to my God and my country and to obey the Boy Scout Laws".
Lets leave the coast for a time and buzz over to the Western Slope of Colorado. The town of Telluride had a "Free the Valley Floor" rally. The valley floor they are referring to is a ranch. This ranch is owned by an older gent who has lived there most, if not all of his life. In 1973 when the town's population was just the "old timers", some hippies and a few bikers, the fellow offered to sell the property to the town for $300,000.00. The town declined his offer because the town didn't want to pay the agents commission. The old man said okay and went on about his business. Over the years, the town had more and more "festivals", bluegrass, jazz, etc. The old man allowed people to camp and party in his pasture, for free, during these "festivals", just being a good neighbor. When the fucked up yuppie "beautiful people" started coming in, the dirt pimps started cranking up the property values. The old man decided that now that his property values were at $250,000 to 500,000 and up per acre, he would develop his property. The town offered him $10,000,000 for his property and he declined, seeing as how his property is worth about five times that much. The town council, in an effort to force him to sell to the town, refused to re-zone his property. In return the old man closed his pasture and went back to grazing his livestock and not allowing the tourists to trash his turf. Now the town council is trying to get his property condemned. Then the Democratic People's Revolutionary Army of Telluride threw the "Free the Valley Floor" rally in an effort to stir up outrage against the old man, and to justify taking his home and property away from him against his will. This is the same fucking asshole behavior exhibited by the Bolsheviks in Russia, the Boxers in China and lest we forget, the French peasants in France. In short, it is an attempt by a bunch of communists to "re-distribute the wealth" by force. Pink's, listen up, in every instance of "re-distribution of wealth" the people who start the "revolution" are the ones who benefit, NOT the people who actively "rally". If you succeed in taking this old man's property, only the dirt pimps will benefit. Example: After killing off the nobility, Robespierre threw the peasants a bone and some rags, moved into the palace, put on the emperor's old clothes and became the "nouveau riche". Same thing in Russia and China and Cuba ad infinitum, ad nauseam. Do you stupid fucks think that his property will be opened for the "festival" crowds? NO! It will be developed by the rich for the filthy rich and you will get ZIP!!!
The Return of Stupid Shit
by: Mondo Disgusto
Gee. Where do I begin? Alec Baldwin declared that if G.W. were elected, he would leave the country. He's still here. He has, however, been keeping a low profile unlike some of his colleagues who have been vocally making asses of themselves by low-rating Da Prez. This is a group of people who get paid to pretend to be someone they're not. Now they are pretending to be something they're not, for free! What the hell makes these idiots think an intelligent person is going to listen?
Once again Senator Tom Daschle (Dem-S.D.) has been instrumental in quashing the Alaskan oil exploration bill, thus continuing to hold us captives to OPEC oil. It must become readily apparent to even the most appallingly ignorant that OPEC oil supports terrorism. Couple this with the way he bad-raps the Prez and he begins to sound PRO-Saddam. I call on all stand-up bikers to boycott Sturgis until South Dakotans re-call his ass. Let the Hollywood pretenders have it, it ceased being a biker's rally long ago!
The French are incensed that we are taking care of business. SO WHAT!! They still owe the U.S. for pulling their hash out of the fire in two world wars. They have yet to pay their national debt to us. They decry the "lack of diplomacy" and spurn the need for a regime change. If they had opted for a "regime change" in '36 there wouldn't be 55,000 Americans buried in Normandy. They refused to join us, but now they have said that if our forces find any evidence of nukes, bios or chemicals that they will send troops to "help out". No, they will send troops in the vain hope of covering their own duplicity in black-marketing weapons grade uranium, chemicals and etc. to Iraq in blatant violation of every sanction levied against Iraq since 1991. Hey you, Pee-Air, shut the fuck up!!! Any body who's read much of what I've written knows how I feel about what's been done to California, but I must, in all honesty, say that the Napa Valley wineries produce some of the best grape on the planet. ESCHEW french WINES!!!
And, speaking of Cal., they are begging the Feds for bailout money because the welfare for illegals is draining their treasury. Tough shit folks. You decided to support all those foreign nationals, you deal with it.
The rest of us have a war to pay for.
Another mindless, frivolous lawsuit has been filed by a (EEEEEWWW) lawyer representing the parents of three U.S. Marines, against Da Prez, for sending their kids off to war. Ass-holes, listen up. Your sons were NOT drafted, they enlisted. And just what in the pee-hockey hell did you think they were joining, the Boy Scouts? No, they joined one of the baddest branches of the Armed Forces. You know, those hard-core tough sons of bitches that eat nails, shit tacks and pray for war!!! Get a grip; they are doing what they swore to do.
I support, unequivocally, Our Armed Forces, I also stand behind Da Prez, (I don't have to like him to support him) and I firmly believe in the right to peaceably assemble, and the right to free speech. I don't, however, like seeing a bunch of asinine peaceniks blocking traffic, distracting emergency personnel and endangering bystanders while protesting the very people who may make the ultimate sacrifice so we can keep those rights.
Toilet Etiquette
by: Mondo Disgusto
This is a public service rant in an effort to promote domestic tranquillity.
I know most of you brothers out there have been subjected to one or more of the following nags. Hence these words of wisdom to help you and yer ol' ladies to achieve a level of détente regarding the restroom.
Why do you always have to say PISS? Because men piss, puppies piddle, ladies tinkle (some ladies tinkle like a cow standing on a flat rock, but we will discuss this in a different rant).
You never put the seat down. Ladies listen up. It is incumbent upon the gentleman to lift the seat before initiating micturition (that means taking a piss, for the polysyllabically challenged). The lady shows her appreciation for this consideration by putting the seat down without bitching. Ladies learn to operate the seat, it only has two positions, up or down. If I have to piss and the seat is down I lift it. If I have to dump and the seat is up, I put it down... NO BIG DEAL! After all, we could just piss in the washbasin.
Why do you always miss the bowl? Ladies, you tinkle from point-blank range, straight down from four inches above the target, consequently, you lack a true grasp of the intricate dynamics of male urination. We hunter/gatherer types are pissing through a smoothbore with no sights and lacking a predictable trajectory, consequently having to correct for range and windage in progress. We also piss from a greater altitude resulting in greater backsplash. In the mornings we often awaken with a blue steel stiffy. While we love you deeply, this particular woody is not for you. It is the result of a bladder about to bust. We can't point it down so now we are trying to hit a small target from the bathroom door (with our skivvies around our ankles), requiring (at the start) the trajectory of a three-inch mortar. This requires a great deal of skill. As the pressure drops a reduction in turgidity occurs and as P.S.I. wanes, so does range, forcing us to make constant adjustments to range and windage while moving (in a rather pathetic looking sort of hop/shuffle) toward the porcelain facility. Our only other alternative is to do a one-handed headstand and try not to piss up (down?) our own noses.
You never put a new roll of paper out. Gentlemen, we only think about toilet paper when we shit. Women think about it every time they go in the restroom! In fact they think about it almost as often as we think about sex! My wife, Dementia, sees a survival kit as a big bale of toilet paper. She can endure anything, withstand any hardship, as long as there is an abundant supply of "film for the brownie". I can not adequately express how important toilet paper is to women. Ladies listen up... we are much more likely to put a roll on the dispenser if it is close-by. Bros, if it is close-by, put it out.
Would it break your arm to use a toilet brush? Well brothers... they sort of got us by the shorts on this one. The crux of the biscuit, you see, is not the making of a mess, nor even the size of the mess, but the leaving of the mess. This nag is most often (and most stridently) heard following that most egregious of crepitatious events, the dreaded (drum-roll plays) "Power Dump". You know the one. You've been forced to hold your mud (for one reason or another) all freakin' day, you get home in time to kick the door open, get your britches down only to lose your grippers about two inches before the docking maneuver is complete. The awesome hydraulics of this event are of such an incredible magnitude that fully half the contents of the bowl erupt upward and outward in a spectacularly disastrous, sepia-toned brown geyser, while the rest is power siphoned down the tubes. The entire eliminative process is over in 3.4 nano-seconds, but the mop up operation can take another 45 minutes and several rolls of ass-wipe. The personal clean up time can be significantly reduced by slamming your thighs together and sliding forward on the seat. This will squeegee most of the sludge off your backside saving not just time, but also ass-wipe (toilet paper doesn't grow on trees). *Note; this does not work as well in public toilets with the open-front seat. Now comes the facility clean up. I have bros who just walk away knowing that the next person in line will clean up before putting their butt anywhere near the commode. Wrong move... this is when you employ the "brush and flush". Look, the facility does not have to be sterilized, just returned to its former level of cleanliness. This alone will generate, in yer ol'lady, a warm muzzy feeling of gratitude and delight approaching euphoria. As for normal clean up, either do it once in awhile, or strike a deal... I.E., I disarm and remove the canine generated land mines in the yard, so Dementia cheerfully polices the latrine. Having said all I can (for now), I hope this provides the basis for a higher level of connubial bliss, but I feel one coming on, so... Go Away!!!
More Stupid Shit
by: Mondo Disgusto
I voted early so I could ignore the continuing asinine behavior of the candidates. I'm surfeited (ad nauseam) with the mudslinging thing. I decided to vote against the incumbent and/or the candidate who slings the most mud, regardless of their party affiliation. I also voted for anything that was good for our elderly and our Vets, and against anything that would increase taxes (you jerk-wad pols get plenty of money, you don't need more, you need to learn how to spend what you have more wisely and stay within your budget!). And I voted against an amendment to the state constitution to remove language that specifically prohibits idiots from voting. Fuck 'em! We do enough for them by electing their sorry asses to office; they don't need to vote too!
How about good ol' Governor Jesse, eh? I'm fond of an honest man, and Jesse isn't a politician, he said (to the effect) that he wanted nothing more to do with politics. This is what happens when an honest man descends into the mold-slimy world of politics, rubbing shoulders with the human/waste inhabitants. Politicians are, by default, liars and thieves, having no honor and thriving in the garbage-filled sewers of the political underworld. When Governor Jesse attended the memorial service for Sen. Wellstone, he left in outraged dismay at the utterly shameless behavior that the Dems exhibited by turning the respectfully somber affair into a political rally. To show his contempt, he appointed an Independent to fill the slot left by the Senator's untimely demise, rather than a Dem, as he had agreed to do. Way to go, man!!! Write in JESSE the BODY for PREZ!!!
In Maryland, the perennially delusional megalomaniac, "Sideshow Al" was stumping for the Dem candidate (a Kennedy) for Governor. She was ahead in the polls, now she's behind. I wonder if it had anything to do with his continual reference to himself as President Gore and his continued whining about "Dubious Dubya" "stealing the election". Hey Al · do us all a favor, go back to Tennessee and see if you can do something useful, like, invent the pencil?!
In another race (why do they call it a race?) one candidate was video-taped stealing and/or destroying his opponent's campaign posters · by his opponent! Now if you or I were to take down or otherwise tamper with those very same posters it would be considered a crime. The excuse given was that the people, who owned the property that they were on, asked him to remove them.
I miss the days when I picked a candidate based on his/her understanding of, and their stance on, the ISSUES!
The Major League Strikes Out
by: Mondo Disgusto
Once again, I have to listen to a bunch of greedy, whiny, self-aggrandizing assholes snivel about more pay. The news calls it a work stoppage. How can it be a work stoppage if the snivelers play? You don't work baseball, you play baseball. You assholes get paid giga-bucks to play a kids game, yet have the audacity to complain and threaten to go on strike? Fuck you, go ahead and strike. Who do you think you're hurting? You produce nothing that is essential to life or business. You are of no consequence to national prosperity or security. All you are doing is raising the cost of stadium attendance to the point that your fans won't be able to pay the admission or the refreshment prices. Consequently, you will just put yourselves and your agents and the owners out of business. You sure as hell won't affect me in any way!
I, personally, don't need you. I get more pleasure out of watching collegiate and amateur sports. These people are playing for the sake of the game. There is a lot less asinine behavior, less time wasted arguing and less egomania.
You aren't the only ones with whom I've become, shall we say, disenchanted. I'm also sick of professional boxing, basketball and football (the operative word here is professional). Most of you "professional athletes" have forgotten (if you ever were aware) that you are, like it or not, role models for the young kids who want to be like you. You run around looking for an excuse to pound somebody, you are constantly getting busted for drugs, lots of domestic violence beefs. Who the fuck do you think you are? You are not above the law! Your celebrity does not exempt you from conducting yourselves in an upstanding social manner. Quite the opposite, if you want to be a social hero and make the big money, then it is even more incumbent upon you to behave in such a manner as to be upheld as an example.
So go ahead, strike, see if we really care. When you can't make the mortgage payments or the payments on your cars, boats and vacation getaways, get a real job. Don't go on welfare though, because you have no excuse.
Assorted Stupid Shit
by: Mondo Disgusto
In San Francisco, CA (where else?) after a recent election, the election supervisor was fired after several ballot boxes were discovered floating in the bay. The supervisor filed suit to be reinstated based on (what else?) racial discrimination, vis-a-vis... she is (ahem) colored and the election commission isn't. But wait, it isn't really about racism. Her employee medical package was paying for her lesbian girlfriend to have a sex change and getting fired put the financial burden on her instead of the taxpayers. Let me see if I've got this straight; the lesbian who enjoys the feel of another woman's thighs pressed firmly to either side of her face (because she doesn't like men) wants her girl friend to have a dick built (that can't be used to breed with) so she can be properly fucked by a man who isn't a man??? And this medical package pays for sex changes, but not birth control, but will pay for Viagra, but not Monoxidil!
Which brings up VIAGRA and MONOXIDIL. For millennia, impotent men have searched, to no avail, for a true aphrodisiac, while bald guys wore ridiculous looking wigs to cover their shiny pates. Then comes the hair growing wonder drug that had the side effect of giving the bald guy a raging soft on. I asked a brother who is losing some of his hair (but swings a johnson that could punch holes in tread plate) if he would trade his hard-on for hair. The answer was a resounding "No, and not just no, but FUCK NO, are you out of your fucking mind?" But since the invention of this hair fertilizer, the very next drug to be discovered (they put cancer research on the back burner for this) is a drug guaranteed to pump up the hoo-haw hydraulics of even the most flaccid of pink ponies. Balding brothers, listen up! Going bald will not keep you from getting laid! How do I know? Because Telly Savalas and Yul Brenner were laying pipe from the time they grew pubics till they went tits up. It's not the lack of hair, but the lack of self-confidence, that is keeping you celibate! If your shiny scalp bothers you in the mirror, go to your local ink-slinger and have a map of the world tattooed on your head, tattoos are cool now and will last forever while the hair you re-grew is going to fall out as soon as you stop taking the drug!!!
As if we don't have enough frivolous law-suits taking up valuable court time, a wheel-chair bound fellow is suing a titty-bar because his wheelchair won't fit through the door of the lap-dance parlor. Grocery stores, clothing stores, hospitals and doctors offices or any establishment that he must have access to, YES. TITTY BARS? So some clappy tramp can leave snail trails on your useless lap??? Give me a fucking break!!! I would like to see the look on the judge's face when this one comes to trial.
While we are on the subject of frivolous suits, Michael Newdow has filed another anti-God suit, i.e.; the prayer that is said at the swearing-in of our Chief Executive. He complains that this violates his right to practice the "religion of Atheism". I looked up the definitions of "atheism" and "religion" and nowhere are the terms "atheism, atheist or atheistic" defined as a religion, nor does the definition of "religion" include the term "atheism", but says" The belief in, and worship of, a god or gods". I believe that Newdow is suffering from an acute Rectal/Cranial Inversion. Somebody, anybody, please staple Newdow to the rudder of the next outbound freighter. Oh, and by the way, his wife and daughter are Christian... talk about an unevenly yoked pair.
My Rights
by: Mondo Disgusto
This is to the pus-brained pimp dick / atheist lawyer, Michael Newdow, in California who just got the "Pledge of Allegiance" declared UNCONSTITUTIONAL!!! FUCK YOU!!! You have just shit all over the rights of millions of taxpayers to speak and worship as they see fit. One man's rights end where another man's rights begin. You have just trampled mine! I left California so that stupid, fucked up assholes like you wouldn't be able to yank my chain, but no, now you are going where you aren't wanted or needed.
You can deny it all you want, but the truth is that this country was founded by GOD fearing men and women who believed in Jesus and depended on GOD and the Holy Bible for guidance. Our three branches of government come directly from the Old Testament specifically Isaiah 33:22. It was Christians who gave Muslims, Buddhists, Hindus and Atheistic assholes like you the right to worship or not to worship as you see fit.
They also gave you the right to freedom of speech, which is also the right to shut the fuck up. If you are against the expression of love for and allegiance to our country, exercise another freedom, get the fuck out!
You have stated that you are afraid for the safety of yourself and your family, this is a valid concern. You are positive that somebody is going to kill you for GOD. You better keep your ass in California because you don't know where I am. I guarantee if I see you here I'm going to be sorely tempted to put you out of my misery, and I wouldn't be doing it for GOD. A.) HE doesn't need me or any man or woman to protect HIM; HE's perfectly capable of doing that HIMSELF. B.) He would be really angry that I set myself up as your judge and executioner. No, I would be doing it on behalf of the taxpayers of this country whose time and money you have squandered in the courts.
Next you are going after (you've already filed the suits) "In GOD We Trust" on our currency, which will cost the taxpayers of this country billions of dollars. You are the reason honest men hate lawyers. What's next cheese dick? Are you going to try to rewrite the "Declaration of Independence"? I.E. "...are endowed by their Creator...".
To the freeze-dried fart in the Ninth Circuit Court of Appeals named Goodwin. How in the fuck did an ignorant shitpoke like you make it to the bench?? For your future reference the First Amendment says "...freedom of Religion", not freedom FROM Religion! Do the Judicial system (and the country in general) a favor, go to your favorite fern bar and suck down a large hemlock smoothie. Short of that, Leave Me and Mine ALONE.
And to all of our Senators and Congressmen and all others who have and will continue to say the Pledge in defiance of this ruling, you have my deepest respect and gratitude.
Feel free to call Judge Goodwin at 415-556-9800 and let him know your opinion.
Conservation 101
by: Mondo Disgusto
Well, here we are, less than a week into the fire season and we already have 2.3 million acres burned and burning. I would like to express my gratitude to the tree-hugging, animals-before-humans, conservation fascists who've made all this possible.
There was a time when ranchers were allowed to graze their livestock on B.L.M. land and guys like me could go into B.L.M. land and cut "dead and down" for firewood. Then some pissy-faced Sierra-clubber got cow shit on his (or her) Nikes and started whining until the government banned the grazing rights. The tree-huggers got logging banned in such a vaguely worded manner as to curtail the cutting of "dead and down". This took away the unfunded forest management. .
The government (in it's infinite wisdom) gives our money to welfare nations (and otherwise pissing the money away on pork projects) instead of funding foresters to complete the funded land management. So, now we have an immense fuel overload. On top of this we are in a drought cycle, creating fires burning so hot that firefighters can't get close enough to fight and the winds generated by the fires are so intense that the slurry-bombers can't fly. Not to mention the fire tornadoes that are ripping whole trees out of the ground, igniting them and tossing them down hundreds of yards away thus spreading the fires faster.
My dad taught me to conserve. He always told me to "take only what I need and what I take, use it up, wear it out, make it do." That is the correct definition of "Conservation".
The "animal rights" Nazis in California got their panties in a bunch over the Pupfish that live in Devil's Hole (in Death Valley) a tiny half-inch fish with no use what so ever. They made sure that the ranchers and farmers were prevented from using too much water for livestock and crops to save the Pupfish. In Oregon they have stopped the farmers from pulling irrigation water so the salmon in those rivers (which are inedible due to pollutants) don't suffer. Meanwhile in Las Vegas, there are so many man-made fountains, pools, creeks and canals that they are actively evaporating 2 million gallons of water a day. In New Mexico they stocked the Rio Grande with Silver minnows, then told the farmers not to open their irrigation gates so the minnows (another virtually useless inch long fish) don't end up fertilizing the crop lands. .
To all you "conservationists", go and sit on the banks of these water bodies and admire the fish you have protected. When you get bored, go bury the fricasseed Spotted Owls that burned up in these fires. When you get hungry, go out and compete with the animals (whose rights you have so diligently "protected") for roots, tubers, nuts, berries and grubs. Do not go to the grocery store and buy any cultivated food. Thanks to your machinations there won't be enough veggies and fruits to go around and I'm taking your share. If I see you in the store, I'm going to prove to you that "beating the shit out of someone" is not just a figure of speech. .
The Eco-freaks want to drain the lakes behind Hoover Dam and Davis Dam. They want the dam at Page, AZ. dismantled and all the rivers restored to their original flows. What in the fuck are you ass-holes going to do for bath water? You drink Evian, try showering with it.
Politicians
by: Mondo Disgusto
A wise man once said "An honest politician is a man who, once bought, stays bought." Unfortunately, we keep electing the cheap fucks. We elect a cheese-dick who can be bought for a box of Cuban cigars and a case of inferior French wine, and then stand around slack-jawed and dumbfounded when he sells us out for an eight-ball of coke and a blowjob from a chubby brunette.
Our founding fathers set up a political system designed to prevent crooked politicians from becoming entrenched in the hallowed halls of capitol hill. Alas and alack, it didn't work! Thomas Jefferson said," GOD help this country if lawyers become politicians." Well, most politicians start out as attorneys, and rapidly become boot-licking toadies for the big banks, big business, big tobacco and the oil companies while gleefully fucking over the common folk who elected them.
One major problem is campaign finance. Pols running for office take big bucks from big biz, big oil, etc., which is tantamount to bribery before the fact. Just look at what happened when Enron took a shit. Congress started up a committee to investigate and pols who took money from Enron scattered like scummy cockroaches when the lights come on. They can't let themselves be part of an investigation of their benefactor lest their own cupidity be uncovered.
Another problem is re-election. Most folk are so busy trying to earn enough to pay their taxes (and still have something to live on) that they have no time to actually look into the voting records of their respective candidates. Thus, they depend on seductive, incomplete and artfully manipulated sound bytes to decide whom to vote for. Consequently, we all get fucked.
When a bill that is beneficial for the people (but hard on the movers and shakers) comes before congress it virtually always gets slapped down. If it is a bill that demands to be passed, some asshole will tack a rider (that, otherwise, has no hope of getting passed) to it, thereby fucking us again via the back door. Or else has the effect of stalling the good shit forever.
Since the War For States Rights the Republicans and the Democrats have been the ruling parties, no independent candidate has won a major election. Reps. And Dems. are just opposite sides of the same coin. The shadows behind the "New World Order" don't care which party is in power because you can't lose when you own both horses in a two horse race.
I suggest we take some of our hard-earned bucks and hire some of the government's best bug-boys to breed up a politician-specific disease that will turn them into vegetables at the end of their terms, then we would get new people so often it would just cost too much to buy them.
Taxation Part 1
by: Mondo Disgusto
I'm sitting here on a rubber donut with Extra-strength Ora-gel dripping from my raw and bleeding ass after a particularly vigorous and extremely gritty session with the "Green Wienie". NO, I'm not talking about some weird sexual perversion, I'm talking about TAXATION WITHOUT LUBRICATION!!!
I would swear our founding fathers fought and won a war to free us from this shit! Don't get me wrong, I wouldn't mind giving a reasonable amount of financial help to our government to cover the necessary expenditures. I am, however, outraged at being fucked out of my hard-earned pay and watching it get pissed away on stupid shit.
Here are just a few examples of what I'm talking about;
$25 million for the International Fund for Ireland.
$14 million for the Hollings Marine Laboratory in Charleston, S.C.
$8.4 million for the Magdalena Ridge Observatory in New Mexico.
$5.67 million for wood utilization research.
$2 million for kilns in south-central and southeastern Alaska.
$2 million for the Vulcan Monument in Birmingham, Ala.
$1.5 million contained in the Defense appropriations bill for a large millimeter wavelength telescope.
$1.1 million for MountainMade in Thomas, W.Va. to educate artists and craftspeople.
$1 million for the Southern New Mexico Fair and Rodeo in Dona Ana County for a multi-purpose events center.
$1 million for the Hollings Cancer Center at the Medical University of South Carolina.
$850,000 for the University of Mississippi Foundation in Oxford for their education and preservation programs at Rowan Oak, the home of William Faulkner.
$750,000 for the University of Idaho to preserve the history of jazz and teach it to future generations.
$740,000 to complete the Lancaster, Calif. National Soccer Center.
$500,000 for the Washington D.C. Sports and Entertainment Commission with the U.S. Soccer Foundation for environmental and infrastructure costs at Kenilworth Field.
$450,000 for Pacific tropical ornamental fish research.
$450,000 to restore Cumberland Island chimneys in Georgia.
$450,000 for the Curry County Fairgrounds in New Mexico for infrastructure improvements.
$420,000 to give each student a laptop computer at Hawthorne Elementary and Junior High School in Nevada.
$400,000 for exchange programs that will build linkages between American and foreign musicians.
$273,000 to combat "Goth" culture in Blue Springs, Mo.
$249,000 to give each student a laptop computer at Schurz Elementary School in Nevada.
$150,000 for renovations and infrastructure improvements at the Merry Go Round Playhouse in Auburn, N.Y.
(With thanks to the Citizens Against Government Waste and the "Congressional Pig Book")
I don't mind money spent to keep our power, water, communication, and road infrastructures operating at peak efficiency. I'm all for keeping our military well armed, well fed, well trained and well paid so they can protect the rights of the hand-wringing, bed-wetting, snivelling liberals. People, we have military personnel who have to get supplemental income to augment the piss-poor pay they receive so they can make ends meet. There are almost as many casualties from equipment failure as there are from hostile engagements, because their materiel is decrepit.
I'm sick of seeing our illustrious government pissing away our money to welfare nations who take their welfare check with one hand while burning our flag with the other. I'm disgusted when I hear about our elderly retirees (after working their whole lives) having to decide whether to starve in a warm house or freeze with a full belly. Al Gore crowed about how he would put Soc.Sec. in an "iron-bound lock box". It always has been, the trouble is that there are 540 keys to the box. This means that Soc.Sec. is just another tax to put more money into the pork-barrel.
My Lord tells me to "...Render therefore unto Caesar what is Caesar's, and unto GOD what is GOD's." GOD only asks for 10%, quite reasonable. Caesar demands over 50%!!!
40% of the U.S. population CAN'T support 60% of the world.
Terrorism
by: Mondo Disgusto
I'm sure everybody has seen the commercial (anti-drug, not anti-terrorist) saying, "If you buy drugs, you might be supporting terrorism". If the fuel in your vehicle is refined from OPEC crude then I guarantee you're supporting terrorism. Hey, Senator Daschle you were instrumental in getting the "Energy Bill" stopped. I take it you and your tree-hugging Eco-nazi buddies don't realize that you are making the people of the U.S. support terrorism by default. Over 50% of our crude comes from countries that support Bin laden and the Al-Qaida, 9% of the oil we use comes from IRAQ. Would you rather see American oil-field hands out of work and force U.S. citizens to support terrorism than allow domestic oil exploration and production??
Ted Turner said that the skyjackers who commandeered the planes on 9/11 were brave. I would expect to hear shit like this from the ass-hole who married Hanoi Jane. Fuck You Teddy, it doesn't take courage for those shit-heads to commit suicide, it takes religious fanaticism. Why don't you buy a high-collar shirt to cover that glowing pink circumcision scar around your neck?
Saddam Insane is paying the equivalent of $25,000.00 to the families of suicide bombers. Okay, just identify the bombers and kill their families, from the oldest to the youngest, and every branch. Extreme circumstances require extreme measures. If Saddam wants them to think " If I blow myself and a few Jews and/or Americans up my family will be provided for", let them think about this; " If I blow myself and a few Jews and/or Americans up my family will be "rubbed out". Don't let these scum-bags profit. Yo, Mr. President, before you go blindly trusting Colin Powell's advise, remember, he told your daddy not to let Stormin' Norman kick the shit out of Saddam. This is what happens when you do a half-assed job.
We are supposed to be in a "Heightened State of Alert (Level 3)", meanwhile the INS agent on duty let one of the 22 "most wanted terrorists" (and three of his shipmates) walk blithely into Norfolk, VA., checking the required documentation for foreign nationals and letting them proceed with out a visa (meanwhile I get cavity-searched when I get pulled over for committing the heinous crime of "being a biker on a sunny day"). I hear he has been re-assigned. Not fired, not arrested for aiding and abetting an illegal entry, RE-ASSIGNED. I hope your ass got assigned to shoveling shit with a teaspoon at the nearest commercial hog farm you stupid fuck.
I hear leaders of Islamic countries calling for the destruction of U.S. installations, worldwide. And for Islamics in this country to rise up. To the Islamics in the U.S., listen up it was the Christian Founding Fathers who gave you the right to worship as you see fit. Before you decide to kill Christians, think about this; I am well armed, well stocked and I can shoot the head off of a crow at 100 yds. You want a "holy war"? Bring it on, bring lots of reinforcements, bring lots of rations and bring lots of fucking body-bags.
Religion 101
by: Mondo Disgusto
In response to Bruce Pressley, who asked "what do you think of church" I must do the following article. I can't, however, answer his question with a couple of sentences or even a paragraph or two. This is a serious subject. His question is rather vague. I'm not sure, exactly, what he wants to know, but I do know that there are many brothers and sisters out there who, like myself are searching for the truth, but have been trashed by, and aren't welcome in, the "mainstream" churches. Consequently this article is going to go long.
Part One; Bad Religion
Marx (or was it Lenin?) said, "Religion is a sop for the masses". Ted Turner said, "Religion is for losers". While I have no liking for these men, they are correct. Religion sucks. There are no other factors that have caused as much theft, murder, rape, torture, wars and destruction. More people have been destroyed in the name of JESUS than any other religious figure. People of one faith killing people of another faith. Fanatics killing atheists. Atheists killing faithful. So on and so forth, ad infinitum, ad nauseum. Where do people get this shit?
In my search, I looked into a great deal of "religious books". The one thing that they all had in common is that none preach violence. In the Koran there is a call for "Jihad", but only to protect Islam from being rubbed out by another "religion". In the Torah, GOD calls for the complete destruction of certain tribes, but only to keep his children from being corrupted by pagans. I don't know much about the Hindu religion (I just know that I can't worship a four-armed elephant) so I'm going to stick to talking about Christianity.
I am a Christian. It took several years of intense study to understand what He was saying. And I guarantee he never said anything about "convert or die". JESUS never preached any kind of violence. There was only one JESUS, who taught a relatively simple message, but there are umpteen different sects of Christians, each sect being divided into several off-shoots (probably fifty brands of Baptists alone), virtually all of whom have no true understanding of, or even try to follow, what He taught. They all know a splinter of the truth (JESUS is The Messiah), but have wrapped it up in a lot of narrow-minded, stiff-necked, mean-spirited religious bullshit.
Then you have the K.K.K., the various neo-nazi groups, etc., etc. who profess to be Christian, but preach hatred. They all hate Jews, but JESUS was half Jewish (on His mother's side). They also hate "niggers", "spics", "chinks" and "rag-heads". Ass-holes listen up. If you are really Christian, then Race, Creed, Nationality, etc. is not a factor, for we are all children of the Living GOD. You are either a white supremacist or a Christian, you can't be both.
In Part Two, I will address "Misinterpretations and Wrong Teaching".
California
by: Mondo Disgusto
California sucks. Okay, not the state but the people suck. Okay, not all the people, just most of them. Hey, fuck'em if they don't like what I'm saying, I was born there and left there as soon as I could. I'll say what ever I want about California. Don't get me wrong, the state itself has some of the most beautiful riding to be found anywhere in the country. Unfortunately it is filled to the borders with fags, liberals and other assorted idiots. I truly feel sorry for the righteous brothers and sisters who must endure the asinine machinations of the state and local governments that are controlled by the politically correct.
San Diego now insists that the term "minority" not be used, instead use "Persons of Color". Back in the sixties, we were told that the term " colored " was bad and that we should use the term "Negro ". Then " Negro" became unacceptable and "Afro-American" was the accepted term. Then it was "Black", then "Gayboy Lovers Of Al Gore And That Stupid Korean Song, Don't Rape Ya, Bro!" and now we're back to "Colored" again. (Huh?)
Don't even think about saying the Pledge of Allegiance, or singing the National Anthem lest you offend the anti-American, anti-GOD shit-heels that run the state, or the pampered pussy students who hate our country but insist that they have the right to commit sedition.
University of California at Berkeley offers "Sex 101", a course that is every horny teenager's dream. You must observe the instructor having sex and then the class project is an orgy. The students must participate to pass. (Perhaps I should go back to school and further my education). A course in terrorism and sex teaches that war and terrorism are an erotic sexual manifestation caused by the possession of a penis. Second graders are getting "cootie shots". They are being taught that homosexuality is okay and that fags, lesbians and pedophiles aren't perverts. What in the peehockey fuck are they teaching 7-year olds sex for? At seven, my dick was to piss with (we were poor, if I woke up with a stiffy, then it was a toy) and had no idea that it was for breeding. But wait, don't stop there. Teach them about Bestiality, then that old dog can learn new tricks. Or how about Necrophilia, cause corpses don't say no or give you the clap! What about Coprophilia? Don't potty train them just tell 'em it's sexy to be smeared in shit.
You are not allowed to defend yourself, your property or your loved ones. You will be told to "prepare yourself to be a victim". If an assailant enters your home to do you harm, you are required, by law, to run away from your house and leave it and all your property to the assailant. (Yeah, right!!!)
If you want to do any improvements on your property, you must do a three-year study, file an environmental impact report, so on and so forth. Meanwhile they come to the Four-Corners (we call them "Californicators" and what they do "Californication") and cut down an acre of forest to build a town house, hire a Japanese gardener to landscape the yard into what is essentially deer candy and then complain that the deer are eating their yard. Then they want to put out poison baits to kill the offending animals. (Yeah, like they could get away with that in Cal.) The Yuppies went into Teluride and took over. They built a golf course (without doing the study) across the migratory route of the biggest Elk herd on the North American continent and complain about the Elk eating the rough and shitting on the greens. They ran my Brothers out of Pandora by having the area declared a "Toxic Waste Hazard Site" and then when everybody was out said it was okay to live there, then built a "gated security" community so only the filthy rich can live there. They buy $35,000 dollar properties for $200,000 driving the tax rates up so high that people that've lived there all their lives can't pay the taxes.
In California, Jihad Johnny Walker is a hero. Not just because he is a FUCKING TRAITOR, but also because his daddy is a rich peter-puffing turd burglar. If I had done what he did, my daddy would've booked passage on the first conveyance to Afghanistan and shot my worthless ass and dragged my carcass back and thrown it on the steps of the town hall. Then he would have gone home, threw my mom down on the bed and pounded out a new kid.
I think we ought to mount an airlift to rescue the stand-up righteous folks who want to live free again to safety, then build a wall around the state. Then gather all of the fags, liberals, attorneys, politicians and the ACLU and incarcerate them in state and hope the state snaps off into the Pacific taking most of the problem folks in this country with it.
Christmas
by: Mondo Disgusto
Merry Christmas??? I'm having a real problem here, to wit; why are non-Christians celebrating Christmas?
If you aren't black do you celebrate Kwanzaa (whatever the fuck that is)? Do you celebrate Chanukah if you're not Jewish? If you're not Chinese, you don't celebrate Tet do you? Non-Moslems don't do Ramadan, do they? Then why the fuck are all these anti-Christian ass-holes celebrating Christmas.
Your first clue here is the root words for Christmas, Christ and mass. Lets start with Christ, a Greek word meaning redeemer, as in Jesus of Nazareth, son of GOD, the risen redeemer (Christ). Mass, a Catholic (I'll do Catholics in another rant) religious ritual. So, Christ Mass (Christmas) is by Christians for the commemoration of the birth of Our Lord. Jews, Moslems, Hindus, Buddhists and atheists have no reason to celebrate a Christian Holy Day. So why the fuck are you???
If you're not going to talk to GOD, or follow the teachings of Jesus, this is not a holiday for you so get your ignorant lazy asses back to work. If you believe Darwin's theory of evolution then you are saying, in effect, that you are descended from monkeys. Humans were created in GOD's image. Animals don't have a soul and are incapable of talking to GOD. If you are the end result of millions of years of evolution, then you are sub-human and can't talk to GOD anyway. So why are you celebrating the birth of the son of GOD? Why aren't you celebrating the birth of Darwin? Or King Kong?
You non-Christians are out there right now in an ass-holish frenzy of shopping, acting like you are the only ones with a right to use the roads and be in the stores. People who hate me 360 days out of the year are sucking up to me in an effort to get put on my Christmas list. Show a little class, shit-heads. If you're going to hate me 360 days, hate me the other 5. I'll respect that more than your hypocrisy.
Stop trying to make my holy day a commercial farce. The reason for the season is JESUS, not some fat clown dressed in red velvet pajamas flying around huffing reindeer exhaust and invading people's homes. That fat fuck would get shot if he came into my house in the middle of the night.... then I'd eat his reindeer.
Fear of Flying
by: Mondo Disgusto
I keep hearing the news pundits and talking heads speaking out on "fear of flying". They want to blame it on 9/11. Back in the '60's (when I was a kid), the big stories were Viet Nam and the commies who wanted a fucking free ride to Cuba. It became fashionable to hijack any plane with fuel enough to get to Havana. Did the airlines do anything to prevent the hijackings? NO!! They knew they were vulnerable, but it was too expensive to retrofit the cockpit bulkheads or have new planes fitted with security doors. The Lockerbie Flight in 1988 was blown out of the air by a bomb in the cargo hold because it was too much trouble to x-ray the baggage.
The F.A.A. "advised" the airlines to take care of this, the aircraft manufacturers said they could build safer planes, but it wasn't cost effective. It was cheaper to let people die than prevent people from dying. Okay you scum-lapping shit-bags, now 5,000 people dead and billions of bucks worth of property destroyed, you're are talking about how safe it is to fly. HUH? Illegals working in the baggage check, in the loading docks, etc., pasting Band-Aids on the bulkheads, alkies and crackheads turning wrenches, overworked pilots, traffic controllers having "mid-life crises"; and we're supposed to believe that flying is now safe? Who's shitting whom here?
I am not afraid to fly; I just don't like having too many people being responsible for my safety. The statistics say that flying is safer than surface travel because many more people die in car wrecks than plane wrecks. This is true to a certain extent in that more cars wreck than planes. Why won't they show us the stats for percentage of survivors of car wrecks as opposed to the percentage of survivors of plane wrecks? I've been in 15 car wrecks and gone down twice on my scoot, but I'm still alive. Lets talk to all those survivors of plane disasters. Hello? Any body out there? Probably not. When a plane crashes everybody dies.
Let's look at the number of planes that have spontaneously disintegrated in mid-air. I can't count them all. When my pick-up or scooter loses a part or a system goes awry, I just pull over to the side of the road. Planes crash!!
Now I'm hearing the airlines begging the government for bailout money because their business is down. Did it occur to these ass-holes that business is down cause no-body wants to be a FUCKING MISSILE?? I like to gamble from time to time, but I'm talking about poker or craps, not on whether I can pick a flight that is going to stay up!!! Fear of flying??? I think it's a healthy attitude. My dad always said, " Birdshit and fools fall out of the sky".
Politically Correct; Perverts
by: Mondo Disgusto
It is time for me to get something aired that has been bothering me for a while now. That something is…HOMOSEXUALS. I can say what I want about this subject because I have a great-nephew who wants to be my great-niece. Now you must understand that I don't hate the boy, I hate what he/she??? is doing. I remember when he was going out with girls. Okay, most were ugly, skinny or fat, gawky scags, but they were female. He was having the usual teen dating problems, but instead of learning and growing he became convinced that he was .. ahem.."gay".
I am convinced that he was persuaded to this opinion of his sexuality by the political machinations of the pole-gazing, dick-snacking turd burglars that have invaded virtually every aspect of our society. I can't turn on the T.V. without seeing some limp-wristed goober gobbler swish across the screen. Every time I pick up a newspaper, I'm seeing an article about some joyboy being taken to the E.R. to have some foreign object removed from his turd cannon following an afternoon of "how many household utensils can you shove up your poop chute?". They have parades because they want "more than equal" rights. They insist on being referred to as "GAY". Excuse me, but my dictionary defines gay as " happy, full of fun". It doesn't say "perverted, full of come".
If they are so happy about being perverts, why don't they call themselves by the accepted terms "sodomites" or "homosexuals" instead of hiding behind a word that means "happy"? The holiday season is getting close. Soon carolers will be singing Christmas songs. Thanks to the fags, whenever I hear "Deck the Halls" I get a mental picture of my great-nephew singing "don we now our gay apparel" and deciding on an evening ensemble from his Victoria's Secret collection.
How can this be politically correct, when it is morally, physically and spiritually wrong?
If it was physically correct, there would be no need for two sexes. Just get your neighbor to bone you up the ass and shit out a kid. If it was natural, there would be no need (gasp!!) for women. There certainly would be no over-population problems. The Living GOD that created us made us to be two halves of a whole, male and female (it was Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve). Scripture says that homosexuality is an abomination before GOD, but not to hate the sinner, but the sin (More on this in another rant).
If they want to pork one-another up the down-spout, fine. Do it at home. Don't expect to be treated special just because you like to gargle your butt-buddy's kiki juice. Stop trying to convince young, easily confused teens that it is an "alternative life-style". My great-nephew knows that what he is doing is wrong, because he is convinced I'm going to hurt him whenever I show up. But the politically correct are telling him that I'm the one who's fucked up. Maybe I am, but at least my breath smells like pussy.
by: Mondo Disgusto
It has been brought to my attention that loving my country and wanting to put the U.S. of A first is offensive to some people. I would expect these people to be foreigners, but no, I'm talking about Americans who don't want me to offend foreigners. Huh? Are you shitting me? Okay, I'll do my best to give these tofu eating, Volvo driving dipshits a clue.
First off, nobody has a right not to be offended. The Ninth Amendment provides the right to be offended; the First Amendment provides the right to express outrage at the offense. Second, what the fuck makes these idiots think that foreigners have any Constitutionally protected rights? The Constitution and the Bill of Rights are for CITIZENS of this country, born and bred, or naturalized and might be stretched to include foreign nationals here on legal work visas.
As for illegals, students and members of terrorist cells, fuck'em!! I'm sure they think their country is the best and want to put their country first, and that's fine in their country. If people are going to come here to work or study, then they can damn well put up with American idiosyncrasies, or fucking leave!! I'll bet my scrotum that in their country I'm required to learn their language, their laws, their taboos; and my constitutionally guaranteed rights don't amount to a pinch of shit.
Don't get me wrong, the men and women who founded this country were immigrants. Most of the people in this country, now, (my-self included) are descended from or are immigrants. Our ethnic and national origins not withstanding, we are Americans first and foremost. Has it occurred to these soul-less assholes that they are offending all freedom-loving patriots with their pissy-faced whining?
What about the people in the WTC, the emergency personnel, the men and women in our armed services; have they not been offended by foreign nationals? I'm certain they have been, but I'm just as certain they will express their outrage, do their duty and get on with their lives. If you are an American, AMERICA COMES FIRST!!