Post date: Jan 14, 2021 5:18:31 AM
so if all goes well, then next week i get the first dose of a COVID-19 vaccine.
it was my wife who wrote me excitedly, when i was at work, that i qualified as an in-person college instructor to be part of phase 1 in my state. i had to re-read what she said, then run a search on the official policy on who gets to be in phase 1.
it wasn't until my university sent an official notice that confirmed it, that it sunk in.
i could be safe; i could be safe to keep my wife safe! if the preliminary expectations are true, i could keep safe anyone with whom i come in contact!
the point of all of these health guidelines, to me anyway, is what to do because you cannot guarantee that you are not infected and can spread the virus to others. asymptomatic individuals seem to be a real thing.
to know that you may have lead to someone's misfortune, and in the worst case: death, is an absolute horror to me.
to know that i would be safe ... rather, that others would be safe from me?
suddenly, i felt an incredible surge of hope. hope, once again!
then again, i feel what seems to be a version of survivor guilt:
i get to have the vaccine, while millions of my fellow citizens will not ... not after a few months, probably the longest months that anyone will ever feel, hoping and waiting to become safe and to end this nightmare that is the COVID-19 epidemic.
i remember being notified, last semester, that one of my students tested positive, and the tumult that came after: reading about quarantine guidelines, whom to contact, how to instruct my students, how to reassure my students about what comes next ..
.. it was a false alarm; rather, we later learned that we were not at significant risk, but that nightmarish memory remains.
for such circumstances to be eradicated?
to live without fear?
i'll take it.
i guess i'm not being selfish. if i qualify, then that's the state's decision. ultimately, the more of us who are vaccinated, the safer all of us are.
yes, i might get it earlier than some of you, but that also means that there's one less person that can infect you. i suppose that's ultimately a good thing.