When I first became pregnant I kept having this experience of someone casually mentioning some important info that they assumed I already knew, like "since you can't take Advil when you're pregnant." I would think "where's my pamphlet?" so I started writing things down. As I read books about baby brain development or educational theory, I just added that stuff here as well. So this is all the stuff I've learned.
- We called our doula too late. She wasn't really able to help by the time she got to the hospital. I wish she had come earlier.
- SF: Didn't want to go past my due date and be induced. John recommended Linda Gruber for acupuncture in the week before my due date. She was great and I delivered two days early.
- There is this thing called "sweeping the membranes" where, I think, the dr puts his finger between the uterine wall and amniotic sack as a way to check if the sack has broken. Sometimes doctors do this to start labor, sometimes they do it to check if labor has started. In my case it was to check if the sac had ruptured and it had the side effect of making the labor really intense really fast. If I could do it again I think I would forego the sweep and allow labor to progress more gradually (assuming that's okay with the dr). Going from three to nine cms in two hours was kind of intense.
- Epidural meds do get into baby bloodstream to some degree, although very minimal. "What's going on in there"
- Our doula experience with Hazel was really great and it's documented here: http://jeharvill.tumblr.com/post/104985518808/hazel-is-born
- The things I learned about myself and birth are these:
- I thought I wanted a yoga-teacher soothing rain sounds vibe from my doula. I actually wanted a hardened grandma drill instructor vibe. This is a person who will convince you that you are safe and strong when you are afraid and in pain.
- It's normal to have your vision and hearing go into a "tunnel" mode where you can't see very well and it sounds like you're under water. Your focus goes internal for the birth. That scared me the first time.
- You can't run from the pain. Your body will want to go into fight or flight. You have to practice turning towards the pain, accepting it, and letting it be.
- In your birth prep tell your partner the specific things you want them to say in order to make you feel supported, admired, and like they believe in you.
- With my first birth I really gave into the drama of yelling and experiencing the contractions. If you've already let go of yourself when your pain is at level 5, then you're completely undone at level 7. With my second birth I really held myself in check, and I was quieter. So much more successful.
- Newborns have about 2-3 hours of hyper alertness immediately after birth so that they can get to know their parents. It's best if the baby doesn't have iv narcotics from birth impairing this process. "What's going on in there"
- Hold the baby skin to skin with mom and dad only for first hour or two. Family in waiting room should hold back to allow this important imprinting to happen.
- Grandparents might not hold baby until next day. Delay cleaning as long as possible to allow bonding.
- We had our doula take photos and I'm really glad we did. We have pictures of every part of the birth process. I can't remember anything.
- Don't force the baby to breast feed on a schedule, even if nurses think you should. Newborns aren't hungry, and if you force them they might develop poor latch and make your nipples sore. Hold the baby often and watch for rooting. Stroke cheek and watch for baby bird mouth. Feed the baby when it's hungry.
- If I could do it over I would try to keep Oliver in our room at night, rather than have him sleep in the nursery. There is a lot of smell bonding happening. As it was I couldn't get a wink of sleep with him in the room, I wanted to watch over him.
- It's okay to fall deeply asleep. The baby will wake you if it needs something.
- Raid the hospital: swaddle blankets, disposable underwear, newborn diapers, hats, pads, baby shirts. You just learned to swaddle baby with hospital blanket, bring a few home so you won't have to learn something new this week.
- Bring an empty bag to the hospital all of this loot.
- Get 5-10 hospital swaddles so you don't have to learn to use something else right away.
- Don't wash your nipples with soap. Natural skin oils help soothe them.
- Baby is very sensitive to smell. Make sure to have some smells that don't change between hospital and home by wrapping baby in hospital blankets for first day at home. Also can put those blankets in mom's shirt to give them extra comforting smell.
- Drink a full glass of water every time you nurse.
- Take lots photos videos. It goes so fast. Next week the baby will already be bigger.
- Your newborn baby is a whole person. Talk to the baby and tell them what you're doing like "I'm changing your diaper now, you're looking at the window".
- Take photos with something else for scale: car seat, dad's hand, favorite doll. It's so hard to fathom how small they are at first, even when you later see pictures.
- Take photos of baby naked, and baby naked in your arms, hands, on chest. The tiny naked baby sleeping on you is ... SO sweet.
- Learn to nurse lying down on your side.
- Once nursing is going well, have someone else give a bottle at midnight so the mom can rest. Do not do an early morning bottle since breasts produce more milk in morning and it can be painful for mom to miss a morning nursing.
- If possible, always give a bottle that was pumped at same time of day as its used. Breast milk content changes a lot during the day, fattiest at night.
- During these early weeks it's all about nursing and pooping. Use an app to track how much the baby nurses and how often they poop and pee. It's not important to track sleep right now. I use and love Baby ESP app.
- However, you will later want to track sleep religiously, so get an app that has that too so you won't need to switch.
- Talk things over with pediatrician or a single trusted baby expert. You hear lots of conflicting advice from doctors, nurses, friends, lactation consultants, doulas, etc. We really trusted our ped, and it made life a lot easier.
- For the first few weeks Oliver wore a diaper, a swaddling blanket and a hat day and night so that we would have maximum skin contact for nursing. Bonding was priority. He only wore clothes to go in the car seat.
- Spend as much time skin to skin with baby as possible.
- Baby is comforted by mother or fathers heartbeat. Lay baby on chest to soothe.
- Newborns can't hear quiet sounds, like regular conversations. This is part of why they sleep so easily. "What's going on in there".
- If breasts are painfully engorged as milk comes in, get a green cabbage, peel off two big leaves, put them in the freezer and then tuck them into your bra once frozen. Really helps.
- Newborns copy facial expressions, like sticking out tongue or opening mouth wide. "Scientist in the crib".
- When startled newborns throw limbs wide and try to grab onto something. They also turn their heads if you stroke their cheek. "Be Prepared " book.
- Newborns love stripes and edges
- Newborns will follow moving objects with their eyes.
- “one day old. When Dr. Jane turns Timothy’s head to the right, he extends his right arm and leg, and he flexes the limbs on his left side. His vestibular system detects the sudden change in head position and commands limb adjustments that would maintain balance if Timothy were standin”
- Excerpt From: Eliot, Lise. “What's Going on in There?.”
- Make sure baby is warm for sleep. Warm babies sleep more, cold babies are more active. We kept a fridge thermometer next to cosleeper. Our home visit nurse said 68-72 was ideal.
- Watch "happiest baby on the block" for 5 s's: sush, side, swaddle, sway, suck
- Make a date for a friend with a nice camera to take pictures of you as a new family around week three. I was too ragged before that, and baby is less newborn after that.
- I recommend nurse one side, then change diaper, then nurse other side. It helped settle baby after diaper change.
- Go for a walk every day, even if it's to the corner and back. Helps mom heal, avoid the blues, and helps baby internal clock develop so he/she sleeps better.
- Newborn babies have stronger peripheral vision. You might see them respond to visual stimuli to the side of their head. "What's going on in there"
- Newborns can focus 7-30 inches. Prefer to see things about 7 inches away. "What's going on in there"
- Can see bold patterns, reds and greens, not blues. "What's going on in there"
- Can see motion and track objects. "What's going on in there"
- “babies do emit distinct types of cries for hunger (rhythmic and repetitive), anger (loud and prolonged), and pain (sudden in onset, punctuated by breaks of breath-holding)” Excerpt From: Eliot, Lise. “What's Going on in There?.”
- You'll want to lick the baby's pacifier to clean it, to help cut down allergies.
- When the baby is asleep, put the baby down to sleep rather than let the baby sleep in your arms. This allows the baby to wake up after a sleep cycle and fall back asleep alone, which is the critical skill which will make them sleep a long time at night.
- Magda Gerber believes babies should always have their own sleeping space, either a bassinett, crib or co-sleeper from birth.
- When taking pictures of your new baby I really think you need something for scale, ideally something you can show them later and say "you were this big!". Like the baby next to your shoe, the baby next to a teddy bear, lying on your forearm, in the carseat. It would be great to find something that is the same size as the baby.
- Not practical, but: “Infants should be kept at home for the first weeks and months. Routine in the home brings security” Excerpt From: Magda Gerber & Allison Johnson. “Your Self-Confident Baby.”
- You can stop tracking poop and pee. As long as they're happening you're fine.
- This was when we started using cloth diapers during the day. SF: We use Tiny Tots service. We get a mix of cloth and compostable (Bambo brand) and Tiny Tots picks them up and composts / washes them. Very easy.
- Introduce the baby to new smells to help that area of brain develop. Cinnamon, vanilla, peppermint, clove, rosemary, lavender, etc. Introduce one smell every few days and do reminders of ones already introduced. Strong smells can be found in your bathroom (mouthwash, shampoo, shaving cream) and kitchen (vinegar, olive oil, spices).
- Around now we started dressing Oliver in clothes during day so he could practice moving arms and legs. Still in diaper and swaddle at night. Stripped down for naked nursing and baby massage once a day.
- Our pediatrician said baby gets 75% of milk in first five minutes, 90% in first ten. No need to let baby nurse 20 minutes a side.
- Read the chapter "doing her nights" from "Bringing Up Bebe." now. Now!
- The baby will get bored, wait ten minutes, then interested again.
- A friend told me it takes a baby three days to learn or forget something. That seems about right.
- Pumping: easiest way to remember is 4,4,4. Breastmilk can be used for four hours after pumping if it's sitting out at room temperature. After that it can be used for four days in the fridge. After that it can be used for four months in the freezer. Some people say six hours room temp.
- You cannot thaw and re-freeze.
- Use the oldest milk first.
- If the baby drinks half the bottle you can use the other half in the next four hours, but have to dump it after that. The baby's mouth bacteria makes the milk spoil faster. Offer several small bottles rather than one big bottle to avoid wasting milk.
- You should not add freshly pumped milk to older pumped milk. This never made sense to me and I did it anyways as long as the milks were at about the same temp. I would put two pumpings in the fridge and then combine.
- To warm fridge or frozen milk, put the milk in a cup of warm/hot water. Test on wrist to make sure it's not too hot.
- We discovered that milk thawed in plastic bags tasted gross like chemicals. We bought a bunch of glass bottles and froze milk in glass bottles instead.
- “Newborns can discern many different flavors, but they care only for the taste of sweet.” Excerpt From: Eliot, Lise. “What's Going on in There?.”
- It's normal to feel like "what do I do with this baby?" And not be sure how to connect with the baby. RIE helps a lot with that. You can read Magda Gerber's book or look at Janet Lansbury's website for beautiful ideas about how to treat your new child: http://www.janetlansbury.com/
- Start tracking how much baby sleeps, to set baseline. Don't allow sleep deficit to start during social awareness at six weeks. Total sleep need is about 16.5 hours a day, according to Weissbluth "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child".
- Go with the flow of baby sleep. Never wake the baby, even if they've slept "too long". Unless you see a true pattern of day sleep and night awake, then ask doctor. "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child".
- I think this is when I read "bringing up bebe" which I really enjoyed. introduces the idea of "the pause" which really helps you get to know your baby.
- Have a friend take photos of you as a family while baby is small.
- I think this was when we started using bjorn. We used moby a little before this but didn't like it. I liked the sling but it didn't fit Alex. Later we used ergo and liked it much better than bjorn. Ergo puts weight on hips, Bjorn puts weight on shoulders.
- You might be spending more time outside, with baby in bjorn. Get a sun hat.
- Spending time outside is good to help baby establish circadian rhythms.
- When friends came to drop food we wanted them to stay for an hour and chat, not more than a hour, but visits were nice! We had to tell them because people think you want them to disappear.
- When the baby drops their pacifier just lick it to clean it. That exposes them to various food particles and reduces likelihood of allergies.
- One month is the time to begin Vocalizations play, even before baby is babbling. Make vowels sounds. Fowler experiment in "what's going onion there"
- “The most important ones include observing your (newborn) baby in order to understand her, helping her form attachment by talking to her and telling her what you are going to do, being slow and gentle with her, and waiting before intervening.” Excerpt From: Magda Gerber & Allison Johnson. “Your Self-Confident Baby.”
- You can check if your baby is hot or cold by feeling their neck. Their hands and feet will usually feel a bit cold, so check their neck instead.
- Babies always need shoes and a hat when outside so they are warm enough.
- Many pediatricians use baby weight data that is outdated and based on something like babies in Michigan in 1940. Ask your doctor where their data comes from. The WHO published some better charts around 2006. Breastfed babies tend to gain weight more slowly than formula fed babies and the charts don't distinguish between the two.
- A lactation consultant helped us work out a plan with Oliver to do more "meals" and less "snacks". He was nursing often and for an hour or so at a time. Our doctor and lactation consultant explained that the baby gets more milk if they are really hungry when they nurse so that they'll have a stronger pull. They get 90% of the milk in the first 5 minutes, 95% in the first ten minutes. So we cut off nursing after ten minutes and tried to wait 90 minutes between feedings. I massaged my breast to get the milk out of the ducts when he was nursing and tickled his feet to keep him awake.
- nettle tea helped increase my supply.
- we tried not to let him fall asleep nursing. If you feel that the baby doesn't drain both breasts pump afterwards with a hand held pump.
- Kellymom.com is a great resource for breast feeding info. It's also science-based. http://kellymom.com/bf/normal/weight-gain/
Five weeks
- This was when we had our first date night. We were only gone for two hours, didn't even miss a nursing, but it was really nice to be out in the world.
- Stop the midnight bottle. Baby is gearing up for long stretch of night sleep around midnight.
- Don't stop bottles all together. Maybe two times a week, maybe with sitter or when dad puts baby to sleep, so that baby won't reject bottle.
- At night when baby wakes up (ideally the dad) tries to soothe baby back to sleep without picking up baby, then pick up if that fails. Then nurse if this fails. Ideally dad because baby sense of smell is very strong, mom smells like milk, makes them want to nurse.
- If you are using an app to time feelings, don't get rigid about schedule. Baby will have growth spurts and need to nurse every hour sometimes. Around six weeks is an expected growth spurt.
- In just a few weeks, around week 9, Oliver was going to bed at 7:00 and so Alex couldn't see him after work. Make sure working parent enjoys evening time with baby while it lasts.
- “When you spend time with your child, whether you’re diapering her, holding her, or sitting quietly as she lies beside you, try to be fully with her. In this way she is refueled for the times when you’re apart, whether she’s napping, resting quietly, or you’re away. If your child gets your undivided attention when you are together, she will feel freer to separate” Excerpt From: Magda Gerber & Allison Johnson. “Your Self-Confident Baby.”
- Keep a to do list. Helps you make the most of brief times when baby sleeps and helps you separate one day from the next.
- Helping baby's developing brain: “For optimal development a woman needs to consume about 300 extra” “calories per day during pregnancy, and 500 to 600 extra calories during lactation. It is recommended that many of these additional calories come from protein, which is especially important for brain development; women are advised to consume an extra 10 to 12 grams of protein per day during pregnancy and 12 to 15 grams during lactation.”
- Excerpt From: Eliot, Lise. “What's Going on in There?.”
- Milestone: baby has fully functional immune system and can go out in public.
- Milestone: social smiling. Baby returns your smiles. Also, baby doesn't want to sleep because baby wants to hang out with you.
- Milestone: visual cortex taking over from brain stem causes eyes to lock on something for as much as thirty minutes. Baby may really want you to hold eye contact.
- Milestone: conversation. Baby wants to talk to you, face to face, and makes "protoconversation" starting at 6 weeks and going until 4 months. This is an emotional exchange more than a linguistic learning exercise. Be sure to take turns listening and talking.
- When speaking to babies annunciation clearly. Make eye contact. Babies brains respond to language spoken to them directly. The amount of words that are spoken to a baby (not in their presence but actually directed at them) is a big determining factor in later success. In "what's going onion there"
- Make sure your OB checks for abdominal separation at your six week appointment. If you have some you can't do crunches.
- Have some good dinners with friends and at restaurants. By week 8-9 Oliver had an early bed time (7:30?) and wasn't as able to sleep in noisy places. We needed to be home by 7 to begin bedtime routine and put him in his cosleeper. I wish we had enjoyed more nights out with Oliver during this brief window.
- Week 6 and 7 are usually difficult with more crying and less sleep. Books always suggest that this is a good time for father to take time off and help. We didn't experience this.
- Start sleep groundwork: when baby wakes up at night try to soothe back to sleep without picking baby up. If that fails, try soothe back to sleep without nursing. If that fails nurse. Don't let the baby cry, but it's okay to let baby fuss or whine alone as they try to get back to sleep. I think it's good if being put to sleep by someone else is just slightly less appealing than putting yourself back to sleep, so you can't make it too easy for them. At the same time, you need to let them know that the world is a caring place and that their parents care about their emotions. It's a delicate balance.
- This is when we started turning out the dim lights so our room was dark at night. We couldn't see Oliver as well, but we all slept better.
- This is when we started once a week date night.
- I did some baby massage. It's nice to just focus all of your energy on your baby. I watched some youtube videos about it.
- “Many infants between six weeks and four months will naturally go to sleep late around 9:00 to 11:00 P.M., and sleep several hours without a need to be fed. Some call this “sleeping through the night.” After four months, infants tend to go to sleep earlier, around 6:00 to 8:00 P.M., and some now need to be fed once or twice before they wake up to start the day. After nine months, these night feedings are not needed.”
- Six weeks: “The social smiles herald the onset of increased social awareness, and it may come to pass that your baby will now start to fight sleep in order to enjoy the pleasure of your company. This is natural!”
- “Around the time your baby produces her first social smiles, at about six weeks of age, night sleep becomes more organized, and the longest single sleep period begins to occur with predictability and regularity in the evening hours. This sleep period is now about four to six hours long.”
- Awake periods should be two hours max.
- “You do not need to let her cry at all, but some babies will fuss or cry in a mild fashion before falling asleep. If she cries for five, ten, or twenty minutes, it will do her no harm, and she may drift off to sleep. If not, console her and try again at other times.”
- “Remember, sleep training means starting to respect your baby’s need to sleep when he is a newborn by anticipating when he will need to sleep (within one to two hours of wakefulness), learning to recognize drowsy signs, and developing a bedtime routine. Then your baby will not become overtired.” Excerpt From: Marc Weissbluth, M.D. “Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child.” Ballantine Books, 2003. iBooks.
- This is when Oliver stopped pooping at night and we stopped changing diapers at night.
- Total sleep needed is about 15.5 hours, which Oliver never got. He was more like 14 hours. Books say 5 hours should be during naps.
- Watch baby for sleep signs (yawns, heavy lids, eyes less focused, less social engagement) and put baby down for nap before they are zonked. If you miss the wave of sleepiness, second-wind hormones kick in and it's very hard for baby to fall asleep. Soothe them to sleep as they are getting drowsy rather than once they're exhausted. Books say that if you feel you've missed it, give up and try again on the next wave. It's difficult for everyone if you spend a lot of the day in sleep battles.
- This is when we started a bedtime routine.
- Remember: the most important thing is that the baby gets enough sleep. So it's good to try the sleep training moves, but sometimes you give up for the day and just nurse the baby to sleep or hold them while they sleep.
- We settled into this routine which lasted for months (still going at four months): Alex gives Oliver bath around 7pm, Alex dresses him in onesie & footsie pajamas & swaddle. I nurse Oliver and help him soothe himself to sleep, asleep by 8:00. I start to get myself ready for bed at 9:00, asleep by 10:00, and I am on duty all night until 6:00am. At 6:00 Alex takes over and I sleep in until Oliver is hungry, usually 8:00 or 8:30. On the weekend we try to give each of us a day to sleep in as long as we want.
- Milestone: primary visual cortex begins mielenation. This begins a period of visual development which lasts to eight months old. The visual brain development is totally influenced by what the baby sees. Maybe a good time for hikes in the woods.
- Milestone: babies eyes can start to track objects smoothly.
- Milestone: baby reaching towards objects with fists.
- Milestone: two months is when most babies begin to babble "What's going on in there?"
- My kids enjoy: proto-conversation. Put baby on pillow, make eye contact, talk to them. Giving the baby things to smell. Vowel sounds.
- Put baby down for nap when they are sleepy but awake. This way they learn to put themselves to sleep, which helps them sleep longer at night by making it through brief awakenings.
- This was when we noticed Oliver would be happy alone in crib. He wasn't falling asleep on his own, but he was content to be by himself, drowsy in the crib. We would leave him for fifteen minutes or so to see if he was going to drift off.
- This was when we started a consistent nap time routine (not consistent nap times). When soothing for nap we sang a song, rocked him, and then put him down with a pacifier and white noise. We stayed in the room until he was asleep.
- Babies love to hear vowel sounds around now. Oliver loved oooo.
- Oliver loves books.
- Remember to drink a pint glass of water every time you nurse.
- Always tell your baby what you are going t do to them “If a child is not told what is going to happen to her, she is, in effect, treated like an object” Excerpt From: Magda Gerber & Allison Johnson. “Your Self-Confident Baby.”
- Milestone: hands are starting to open and explore the world more, especially during breast feeding. Baby might enjoy feeling your bathrobe, hair, and other new textures.
- Milestone: baby is copying your sounds and facial expressions. Make a sound or expression and wait up to a minute for baby to copy.
- This is when I started thinking I was ready to put Oliver in his own room. He was nursing once a night, and I was often waking him up by mistake, thinking he made a fussy sound, but really he was asleep.
- This is when I started to wear Oliver facing out in baby bjorn. There is some controversy over this, with some people thinking it contributes to hip dysplasia. Our doctor said he thought it was fine.
- This is when I started dozing during night nursing. I would fall asleep for five minutes at a time.
- This was when Oliver started falling asleep on his own. We would put him down drowsy, tip toe out of the room, and watch him fall asleep on the monitor. If his pacifier fell out we walk in, put it back and walk right out. We had never ignored his crying, but we would sometimes ignore his whines.
- Oliver loves singing and dancing, like upbeat silly bluegrass songs
- Milestone: baby is making giggle sounds
- This is when Oliver started sleeping in his own room. It was no big deal to him.
- Oliver started needing an earlier bedtime. Bath time moved up to about 6:30 from 7:30. Then it moved right back.
- Oliver started to copy our hands as well as faces and sounds. Then stopped doing so.
- We did a lot of fun games where we move his body while he is lying on the back. These were from baby yoga. Moves like: like "so big" arms over head, "roly poly" hold hands and feet, roll side side, "tiny ball" scrunch feet to tummy. Head shoulders knees toes. "tap tap" opposite hand & foot, then stretch apart. Bicycle legs.
- Oliver holds up his head, can face out in bjorn.
- Watch this sort video about babies learning to roll: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D9Ko7U1pLlg
- Taste the breastmilk after you thaw it from the freezer. We thought it tasted gross and chemical, so we bought lots of glass bottles and used them for freezer instead of plastic storage bags.
- “At ten weeks of age, Phoebe succeeds in distinguishing different-shaped objects with her hands. By six months, she can also perceive different textures. But not until nearly eighteen months can she distinguish objects that differ subtly, like a regular cube as opposed to a cube with a notch cut out of it.” Excerpt From: Eliot, Lise. “What's Going on in There?.”
- Oliver giggled when bounced.
- Hands are more open, baby wants to feel texture, hold objects.
- I needed to make a conscious effort to give Oliver undivided attention. Make eye contact for as long as he wants. Smile at him. Resist the urge to check email / read / watch tv / fold laundry while spending time with him.
- Also needed to make conscious effort to give him space for independent motor development. Baby needs to lie alone on the ground, feel feet against ground, try rolling hips one way and the other to learn to roll. It's hard to give him ten minutes to practice reaching for objects alone.
- At 11 weeks I noticed that was Oliver wasn't really trying to get to my nipple when I nursed him at night, so I gave him a pacifier and he went back to sleep.
- Around now Oliver went one or two days without pooping sometimes. The doctor said it was fine. If baby gets uncomfortable they can help.
- Oliver loves being held up in the air above my head looking down at me.
- Most of my daily chores are play time with Oliver. He loves to lie on the pillows while I make the bed, see the sheets fly over him, grab at them. He loves to be wrapped in the warm clothes from the dryer. Sometimes he likes to ride in laundry basket, swinging side to side. We play peek a boo with the napkins while I fold laundry and he likes to explore the textures of all the clothes. When I am cooking I have him smell spices and feel textures, like cold metal or a bowl full of dried beans (make sure none get in mouth).
- Milestone: Day sleep is organizing. Naps will become more regular and predictable. Expect 2-3 naps a day at regular times. One morning nap around 9 and one early afternoon nap around 12 or 1:00. Early afternoon nap is longer. Note that wake up time needs to be consistent for this to work. We eventuall had an alarm for Oliver. From Weissbluth book.
- Milestone: baby eyes predict movement of tracking objects.
- Naps must be in crib. Baby is so excited about the world they don't sleep well when surrounded by distractions.
- Milestone: longest stretch of sleep at night is about nine hours. Baby will spend less time napping as night sleep lengthens.
- Milestone: Babies begin kicking a lot, practice for rhythmic leg movement of walking.
- Milestone: total sleep need is about 15 hours
- Baby is trying to reach out and grab objects, movements jerky and usually unsuccessful.
- This is right when Oliver started sleeping through the night. At 11 weeks I noticed that was wasn't really trying to get to my nipple when I nursed him at night, so I gave him a pacifier and he went back to sleep. By 13 weeks he wasn't waking up during the night every other night. Then he later regressed!
- The baby is going to go through a patch of rough sleep stuff at four months, so it's really good to get them able to fall asleep on their own before then.
- Babies start to coo around now, making ooh and aha sounds when face to face with parents.
- Spend time every day face to face having babble conversations. Model eye contact by looking at partner when conversing.
- Always tell your baby what you are going to do to them “If a child is not told what is going to happen to her, she is, in effect, treated like an object” Excerpt From: Magda Gerber & Allison Johnson. “Your Self-Confident Baby.” She also emphasizes that babies understand things more slowly, so you need to tell them "I'm going to pick you up now and change your diaper" and then wait a moment or two before doing it. I usually wait for Oliver to react in some way, often reaching for me or putting a toy down, which he usually does within three seconds.
- Three months is time to begin labeling play. Name objects that maybe is interested in or focussing on. Fowler experiment in "what's going onion there"
- This lady does nice family portraits. http://www.rachyelpmagana.com/
- Oliver was wearing more pants and less pajamas. The booties by Zutano were about the only thing that stayed on his feet. He kicked socks off.
- He loves moving through complex spaces, like going up the windy stairway. This fascinates his new 3D visual system.
- He was pooping every 3-4 days. Then only once a week until we started solids. Pediatrician said this was fine. If baby gets uncomfortable you can put vasaline on q-tip and massage anus. Also massage baby belly in clockwise motion, to move stuff through large intestine.
- Oliver needed more free play time. I lay a quilt on the floor, put him on the quilt with some toys, and left him to explore rolling to the side, reaching for toys, etc. I was in the room.
- “At three to four months, your baby will start to show drowsy signs earlier in the evening. Instead of becoming sleepy at 8:00 to 10:00 P.M., she will become sleepy at 6:00 to 8:00 P.M” Excerpt From: Marc Weissbluth, M.D. “Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child"
- Milestone: baby develops binocularity, or depth perception.
- This is around when we moved Oliver to his own room.
- This was when Oliver started to make eye contact while nursing. He didn't do this consistently. At nine months he looks at me briefly, but not for long stretches.
- Milestone: baby rolls front to back around 3-4 months.
- Oliver started rolling all of the sudden at 14 weeks. We did our own versions of tummy time. We let him lay on us tummy down. We carried him in the bjorn and ergo where he can use his neck muscles. We did some traditional tummy time.
- Oliver can flop to the side by putting his legs up and letting them fall. Need to watch him carefully when on elevated surface.
- Oliver is very happy on the floor exploring movement
- If he can see my face for tummy time he does much better.
- He's not sleeping through the night this week. He's really hungry. We often give him extra milk in a bottle at bedtime and that helps him sleep through the night.
- Around this time I got busy with social engagements and Oliver was always napping in my arms or in the sling. He forgot how to self soothe to sleep. He started waking up every 45 minutes at night. I stayed home for two days and did the unpleasant work of re teaching him to self soothe: get him drowsy, put him down, leave the room, he cries, come back start over. He slept through the night twice in a row after these coaching sessions.
- Oliver takes his bath around 7:00 at night. Asleep by 8:00 we hope.
- When the baby starts to roll over on their own, that's a good time to consider losing he swaddle. The baby is starting to want to get their hands into their mouth and find their own comfortable position while sleeping.
- The World Health Organization recommends exclusive breast-feeding for the first 6 months of life.
- milestone: Baby is successful at reaching out and grabbing objects sometime between two and six months, but four months is usually when this happens.
- My kids enjoy: laying on the play mat with toys dangling above. Watching a bird mobile.
- There is such a thing as four month sleep regression. This is when baby changes sleep patterns and wakes more, is a lighter sleeper. Baby should sleep 7-7 at night (Oliver is more like 7-6). First four hours are deep sleep baby rarely wakes. From 4-6 am is lightest sleep and parents might think baby is "waking up" at four am. Really they just need help getting back to sleep.
- Baby has sleep associations: things they associate with falling asleep and sleeping. They'll have trouble falling asleep on their own if they always associate falling asleep with nursing or being in your arms. Ideally baby already has practice falling asleep on their own and other sleep associations by now. We thought this was a bad time to make any big changes, like co sleeper to crib, or swaddled to unswaddled sleep, but perhaps unswaddling would have helped!
- Oliver is starting to love peek a boo.
- This is when I tried to count months based on the 12th of the month rather than counting four weeks.
- I started pumping for ten or twenty minutes as I went to bed each night. That milk became the bottle for the next night and helped him get to sleep each night.
- Oliver still doesn't really have regular nap schedule. His longest sleep is in late afternoon.
- Oliver sleeps a nine hour stretch every other night.
- Oliver has started to have attachment. When he is fussy and Alex tries to calm him this sometimes makes him cry very hard. If I take Oliver from Alex's arms he quiets immediately.
- Oliver is getting his bath at 6:30 now.
- I am using the ergo carrier and the sling for hip sitting. The ergo is much better for your back. The bjorn hurts my back.
- Babies can't eat honey because of botchulism.
- Conversations are the best way to speak to babies. Turn taking allows them to listen as well as speak. Also allows them to watch your mouth and see how you make the souns, "what's going onion there"
Hazel Four month sleep stuff:
- Hazel is almost five months and I feel like I've got this whole sleep thing figured out. This is what I think worked well:
- When the baby is 0-6 weeks old soothe them to sleep any way you like but put them down once they're asleep. The baby should get accustomed to motionless sleep.
- Do not give the baby a pacifier. Use your finger and take it away from the baby once asleep.
- When the baby is 6-12 weeks old give her 2-5 minutes to fuss and settle back to sleep when she wakes at night. If the baby starts crying soothe the baby.
- Do not give the baby a pacifier. Use your finger and try to take it away just before the baby is asleep.
- When the baby is 3 months move naps to baby's crib. Establish a consistent nap routine. Naps are as needed, not on schedule, but when it's nap time you should go through the same steps every time so baby can anticipate. For us it was: close curtains, turn on sound machine, sing a song, soothe to drowsy, and lay her down.
- Consistent night time routine for us was bath, pajamas, bottle, nurse, song, soothing to drowsy, set down in crib.
- When baby is 3.5 months introduce a lovey. A blankie or stuffed animal that you hold while nursing and sleep with it in mom's shirt. Don't give it to baby at bedtime yet.
- At 4 months is the big change: move baby to crib for night sleep and allow to fuss more. When Hazel is taking a nap or going to sleep at night I hold her in my arms while she settles herself to drowsy. I do not give her anything to suck on and I try not to rock or jiggle her. I shush her a bit. I'm giving her very little help, but she has to get her hand into her own mouth or settle herself in some other way. I now give her to lovey and she nuzzles it. Once her eyes close I set her down and leave her for 5-15 minutes. 5 minutes is a minimum. If she's having moments of calm and crying I leave her for 15 minutes.
- At the stage you should have seen some small clues of self-settling before you begin letting the baby fuss. These could be waking and self-soothing at night. Or the baby goes back to sleep if you pat her stomach and do nothing else.
- Notice if the baby cries harder when you pick her up! This means she wants to be settling herself.
My Oliver four month sleep routine:
- Oliver wakes and nurses around 5:30 or 6:00. Ideally he goes back to sleep for an hour after this.
- I start his nap routine about two hours after he last woke up, less if his last sleep was less than 30 minutes.
- For naps I make sure he has a clean diaper, make sure he isn't too hot, swaddle him, nurse him, give a pacifier, turn on white noise, soothe him and slowly put him down.
- If the room is over 70 degrees i strip him to a onesie (and swaddle), open the guest room window and run a fan.
- If he is falling asleep nursing I stop nursing and gently, slowly, put him down drowsy with eyes slightly open.
- If he is fussy after nursing I walk around his room with him and sing "mr moon". He seems soothed by a slight jiggle in the walk. I try not to leave his room so that the sights and sounds will be the ones he associates with sleep.
- The time when I am rocking him, walking him, singing to him i call "soothing" time. The goal of this time is to get him drowsy with heavy lids so that we can put him down slightly awake. Right now heavy lids is about 1/2 cm open, often with irises rolled back. I look at a clock or run a timer during this process. I try not to give up for 15 minutes. If he seems wide awake and happy, and his lids have never drooped after five minutes of soothing I give up, especially if he returns my smiles. We will try again for a nap in an hour.
- If he is fussing or crying I assume he is over tired and I keep doing what I'm doing. The singing helps me keep myself internally calm and project calm to him. If he is really fussy and getting worked up i swap my finger for the pacifier and that helps calm him. If he really screams loudly and persistently we go back to nursing and start over. Alex and I wish we spent less time soothing him. It takes a lot of time and patience but we are seeing progress week to week.
- Once he is drowsy I move as slow as a snail and gently lay him down without jostling him. I move a few inches, wait ten seconds, move a few more inches, checking that his eyes are a bit open the whole time. If he startles, gets wide eyed and looks around then I restart soothing. It usually takes about sixty seconds to get him drowsy enough to start the transfer again.
- Once I lay him down he drifts off hopefully knowing where he is.
- I usually restart the white noise machine before leaving the room to be sure it'll run for 45 minutes.
- After three transfer attempts or three mini sleeps I think it's okay to give up and let him fall asleep in my arms, although I rarely do that since there's such a strong correlation to good night sleep if he is successful at self soothing for naps.
- Ideally he naps for 30-60 minutes mid morning (9 or 10 am start) and 1.5 - 2 hours in the afternoon ( 12 or 1 pm start)
- When he wakes up from a nap happy and smiling I assume he is rested and I get him up. When he wakes up crying or whining I assume he needs more sleep and needs help getting back to sleep. I start by just giving him a pacifier and leaving the room. Sometimes, tho rarely, that's all he needs. If i don't see him getting drowsy right away on the monitor, then I try to soothe him without picking him up, placing my hands on his tummy or face, singing to him. If that doesn't work quickly I pick him up and do the whole thing of soothing until drowsy and then gently putting him down with heavy lids.
- Milestone: five months is when babies babble using consonants. You'll hear strings of consonant-vowel sounds like "dadadada" or "mamama" (so far we have yet to hear mama at ten months)
- At five months Oliver is easily rolling from back to tummy and back again
- My kids enjoy: funny sounds. watching a tree blow in the wind. lying on the bed while sheets fly overhead. Holding an object with interesting texture.
- Oliver has started to whine when he wants something. We have to be careful no to give him the thing he is whining for.
- "Most children five to twelve months of age should go to bed between 6:00 and 8:00 P.M. and wake up between 6:00 and 7:00 A.M." Marc Weissbluth.
- He anticipates things, he knows when a bath is coming or when a bottle is coming
- He is bottle crazy! He loves nothing more than a bottle
- He has eaten banana and blueberries. Tasted apple slices and cinnamon.
- All of the sudden at five months Oliver's nap schedule fell into place. I noticed it and tried to support what was naturally happening. He woke up at 7, napped 9-11, 1-2 or 3 and 4-5, bath at 6:30, bed at 7. I was very conscious to get him back to sleep quickly when he woke in the middle of a nap. Any intervention from me also woke him up, so I waited a beat to see if he could fall back asleep on his own. Then I went in, without speaking, gave a pacifier. Tried to leave immediately if his eyelids drooped. If not, hold pacifier, touch the fringe of his blankie to his face, which really triggered sleep. Last resort was pick him up. This helped lengthen naps. Regular nap schedule started helping him sleep better at night.
- "These easy and calm infants slept about three and a half hours during the day and twelve hours at night for a total of 15.5 hours" weisselbluth about five month olds. He says fussy babies sleep 9 hrs at night, 12 hrs total.
- Oliver sleeps about 13-14 hours total.
- This is about the age where it seems natural to shift control from baby to parents. When the child is newborn you feed, change and help them sleep as they want to. This is the age where the parent can gently say "I know you don't want to sleep, but you need to"
- “These researchers exposed babies, who ranged in age from three to thirteen months, to sixteen sessions of chair spinning: Four times a week for four weeks”“The results were striking. Compared with both control groups, the babies who were spun showed more advanced development of both their reflexes and their motor skills.”
- Excerpt From: Eliot, Lise. “What's Going on in There?.”
- At five months we did our own version of cry it out. We had spent months gently teaching him to fall asleep on his own, without a pacifier, without a swaddle, to soothe himself with a blankie, etc. We had never tried all these at once. We knew he COULD sleep through the night and had several times. Im really glad we did this before he was six months and after we had equipped him with the skills we knew he needed. We were really saying "ok, training wheels off, you need to give it w try, we believe in you."
- Here's what we did:
- Put him in a sleep sack, not swaddle, with pacifier tethered to the front, blankie in hand. Three other pacifiers around his head for him to find if needed.
- Alex put him to sleep. Soothe him to drowsy, but still awake.
- Put him in the crib.
- He usually played for a bit, then whined, then cried.
- We started a timer for crying and let him cry five minutes max.
- If he sounded anguished we aborted. Never had to do this.
- If he was crying and taking breaks we felt he was okay. When he stopped crying we paused the timer. When he started again we continued until five minutes total.
- After five minutes Alex soothed him 1-2 minutes without speaking or picking him up. Alex gave him his pacifier, held his hands, just made calm eye contact. Once Oliver was calm, drowsy, Alex left the room.
- Repeat for up to three five minute crying sessions.
- After three five minute sessions, Alex would soothe him to sleep, ideally without picking him up. Often Oliver fell asleep if he could hold Alex's hands.
- When Oliver woke up in the middle of the night we did the same thing, three five minute sessions.
- The first night Oliver cried for two 5 minute sessions, and fell asleep on his own with a pacifier during the third session, awoke in 45 minutes, cried for three minutes and fell asleep on his own without pacifier. Slept six hours, woke up, cried three five minute sessions, couldn't get to sleep, nursed to sleep.
- Second night he cried three sessions, was soothed to sleep, woke 4 times in the night and soothed himself to sleep with 1-3 minutes crying each time.
- Third night he cried three sessions, was soothed to sleep, and slept through the night, ten hours.
- The fourth night he fell asleep on his own during the third session without pacifier, and slept all night, ten hours.
- Milestone: babies can differentiate between a person acting normal and a person acting silly.
- Milestone: baby naps between 2.5 and 4 hours a day. Oliver naps 2-3 hours.
- Milestone: this is usually when people start solid foods. Many foods are already "baby food" like mashed banana, avocado, yams, etc.
- Milestone: baby rolls back to tummy.
- Milestone: reaching and grabbing is smoother.
- Baby can see all colors, recognize familiar and unfamiliar faces, focus at various depths, and perceive the 3D world.
- When baby drops a nap move bedtime earlier. Up to 6:00-6:30
- Oliver goes to beat 6:30, nurses once around 5:00 or 6:00, and sleeps until 7:30 or 8:30, once 9:00am.
- My kids enjoy: silly sounds and faces. a silly sound when moving their body (move leg and say "boop!"). Moving around the floor with something to reach for and lots of time to try to get it. Moving doors with their feet. Watching a mobile at eye level. Watching a tree blow in the wind. Peek a boo. Gentle tug of war with napkin. Splashing in the bath. Holding a rattle or a bell, something that makes sound. Holding something with moving parts.
- This is about the time that babies get more interested in toys. Having a few good toys is important, but I recommend limiting the number of toys you have out. We have a toy shelf and a book shelf and I try to keep the toys limited to those two shelves (plus a box). There's a storage in the closet and I cycle them. One big benefit is that our kids explore the whole house and there are cabinets in the kitchen that they love getting into. Magda Gerber recommends that the kitchen be a no-kids zone, but I think letting our kids use kitchen items and real tools (hammers, measuring tapes) has built an inherent sense of sharing (we are sharing with them) and trust (they see that we are trusting them with our stuff).
- Baby emotional life takes a giant leap forward around six months of age when emotional parts of brain get wired into frontal cortex. This is when baby can just start to have emotionnected to pre frontal cortex). They can calm themselves by choice and resist temptation to do the forbidden.
- Babies attach to mom and get stranger anxiety, which gets stronger until eighteen months.
- Some researchers believe that the quality of the baby's attachment to mom will dramatically affect their future development. Studies show that babies can have strong maternal attachment even if they are in day care all day. What matters is how sensitive and attentive the mom is when with the baby. This doesn't mean satisfying the baby's every wish. It means letting the baby know that you recognize and care about their emotions: "I know that you hate diaper changes, and I'm sorry, but we need to do one anyways".
- “By four to eight months of age, infants should have at least a midmorning nap and one in the early afternoon, and the total nap duration should be two to four hours”Excerpt From: Marc Weissbluth, M.D. “Healthy Sleep Habits, "
- Supposedly six month olds aren't great with object permanence. Hold shiny toy. As baby reaches for toy cover with washcloth. At six months they are perplexed and stare at washcloth. At nine months they pull wash cloth away.
- Six month olds are learning the distinct sounds in their language and grouping them, like "these are all R sounds". In their mind they form a prototypical R.
- Oliver's poops were very firm after we started solids. Dr said likely culprits for constipation were banana or rice cereal. Oliver was eating banana every day.
- Dr said don't start finger foods until about nine months. Choking hazard sooner.
- Dr said child proof the house! Baby is more mobile than you realize. Remove loose wires, plug sockets, test for lead paint, move cleaning chemicals and medicines out of reach. Bolt book shelves to the wall.
- Babies have conscious control over their emotions for first time (limbic system is connected to pre frontal cortex) from "What's Going on in There?"
- “most evidence suggests that cortical emotion centers do not begin functioning in any meaningful way until six or eight months of life.” Excerpt From: Eliot, Lise. “What's Going on in There?.”
- Six months is when the brain get wired so babies really feel emotions.
- “Do things slowly. Slowing down automatically creates more peacefulness and cooperation.” Gerber talks about how a child naturally wants to please his/her parents and cooperate. Excerpt From: Magda Gerber & Allison Johnson. “Your Self-Confident Baby.”
- “Babies generally do not begin to understand the meanings of words until they are six or seven months of age.” Excerpt From: Jane Nelsen, Ed.D., Cheryl Erwin & Roslyn Ann Duffy. “Positive Discipline: The First Three Years.”
- This is when Hazel became more bubbly / giggly. Hazel laughs when my hair is in her face, when we play tug of war, when I do peek a boo, when I make a funny sound she hasn't heard before, and hair in her face. Hair is her favorite thing.
- “So strong is this impulse that most infants go through a phase when they produce their own vestibular “self-stimulation”—bouncing, swaying, head-shaking, body-rocking, or, in 3 to 15 percent of babies, head-banging. Vestibular self-stimulation typically begins between six and eight months of age, or right when vestibular sensitivity reaches its peak.”
- Excerpt From: Eliot, Lise. “What's Going on in There?.”
- Milestone: baby sits alone 6-8 months
- Milestone: babies babble around 7-8 months. Dadadada sort of thing.
- Babies can't eat egg white, honey, syrups until one year. Usually people also avoid nuts, cow milk, sugar and salt until one year. But new research says introduce allergens like nuts around 7-8 months. No honey until one year.
- Our dr said wait until nine months for finger foods
- I really wish we had kept up with steamed vegetables as a daily staple. At this age he loved broccoli, carrots, peas, etc. At 16 months Oliver eats bread, rice, cheese, beans and very little else. Even pasta with marina is pushed away.
- 6-9 months babies have first short term memories, like who is familiar vs stranger, things they see adults do, etc
- At this age Oliver has eaten, in this order: blueberry, yams, banana, avocado, apple (a slice to gum on), zucchini, sweet corn, plum (a slice to gum on)
- Carrot, Strawberry, prune, egg yolk Spinach (steamed with butter), fava beans, raspberry
- He loves strawberry, banana and prunes. We mix egg yolk into prunes and spinach into strawberry to get it down.
- We really like the Sassy feeder mesh bag so he can feed himself fruit. Hazel loves this too.
- We thought the baby-cook steam and blend machine didn't blend very well and don't recommend.
- Article about allergens: http://www.jaci-inpractice.org/article/S2213-2198(12)00014-1/fulltext
- Babies can choke on sticky foods like peanut butter.
- Babies are in this sort of intimate, romantic, phase with parents up until eighteen months. They will snuggle, flirt, and want to be very close.
- Hazel loves: an all cloth doll, large things like a piece of cardboard, crinkly things, bells, books, splashing a basin of water, putting her hands into oatmeal, looking at shadows with a flashlight, watching wind in the trees, sitting in the grass, kicking doors and watching them move, silly sounds of any kind, peek a boo.
- I try to read Hazel a book every day, even though she is mostly grabbing at it and not interested in reading it.
- Hazel is rolling easily, starting to work on getting into all-fours. She tips over when sat up and can't get herself into sitting yet.
- At seven months Hazel was taking a solid 2 hour morning nap, with two 30 minute afternoon naps. Then she slept about 12 hours at night with one wakeup around 2:00 or 3:00.
- At 7 1/2 months it was clear Hazel didn't need to nurse at night, since she would fall asleep before getting any milk. We tried having Alex be the one to respond to her at night and she freaked out for a week. It seemed to coincide with teething and separation anxiety. As I type this she takes 30 minute naps, cries a lot at bedtime and wakes several times at night. She goes right back to sleep if I pat her back and especially if I let her hold my hand. Hopefully this is a phase.
- Swimming pools kill more children than guns, according to our pediatrician. Make sure pools are gated. Teach children to swim if you can.
- Milestone: baby pulls himself to standing 8-9 months. Oliver was right on schedule on his 8 month birthday.
- Baby begins to have stronger attachment to parents. May cry when dropped off at daycare.
- Baby has stranger anxiety.
- Eight months is when babies are first able to retrieve a hidden toy. They can recall where something went, bringing to mind information from their memory. This is one of the first milestones of conscious memory, versus recognition which is sensing some stimulus and recognizing that it's familiar, recall doesn't require the stimulus. If you learn that pushing a red button yields a banana, recognition is remembering this when you're sitting in front of it and you see the red button which triggers the memory. Recall is if we're talking about it a week later and I ask you how to get the banana you can tell me "I pressed the red button"
- Eight months is when object permanence and separation anxiety emerge.
- Oliver is working on pulling to standing and has some rough falls and some scrapes and bruises on his face.
- It's important to start to treat the baby as a person, not an object. Talk to the baby about what is happening to them.
- Stranger anxiety is starting. When a friend or family member asks to hold the baby you need to wait for the baby to reach for them. Let the baby choose who to go to.
- When new people were around Oliver we would hold him and stand near the new person, ignoring the new person and allowing Oliver to size them up. Within ten minutes he would be reaching for this new, interesting face and wanting to touch their glasses, hair and teeth.
- Eight - eight and a half months I started to notice that although Oliver woke up at five am to nurse, he wasn't crying or eager to get fed. Previously he would bite my shoulder when I picked him up, a clear sign he was hungry. I started to leave him if he was awake and talking or whining. If he cried I nursed him. At nine months he is mostly sleeping a twelve hour stretch. At ten months he is still waking to nurse at 5:30 am.
- “Whereas the number of synapses peaks between eight and twenty months in the left temporal-parietal zone ( language vocabulary), it tops out between fifteen and twenty-four months in left frontal areas (language grammar)." what's going on in there.
- “myelin is detectable in all cortical layers by two years of age for Wernicke’s area (vocab), as compared to four to six years for Broca’s. (grammar)” This tells you that children's brains are fully formed for learning words and vocabulary at two years old, but they are still building brain structures needed for grammar until they are six years old. Excerpt From: Eliot, Lise. “What's Going on in There?.”
- When I went back to work I started off by spending the morning with Oliver, settling him for his first nap, and then slipping out the door. Alex noticed that he was very fussy and anxious all day. We wondered if he was looking for me, not sure where I had gone. Now Alex and Oliver walk me to the door every morning, get hugs and kisses goodbye, and watch me walk outside and get into the car. Alex thinks this has really helped. Naps are no longer associated with a parents slipping away.
- “As we will see, frontal activation is responsible for the first inklings of higher cognitive function in babies, a surge in memory, emotion, and general awareness that takes off around eight months after birth”
- Excerpt From: Eliot, Lise. “What's Going on in There?.”
- Milestone: babies master the pincer grasp sometime between seven and twelve months, Typically at nine months.
- Milestone: "At nine months of age, the third nap is eliminated, naps are longer (especially for poscolic babies), an there is no need to be fed at night". Marc Weissbluth.
- “At about nine to ten months, a baby’s sleep periods consolidate so that she wakes up and goes to sleep at about the same times every day, and her sleep spans are longer.” Excerpt From: Pantley, Elizabeth. “The No-Cry Sleep Solution: Gentle Ways to Help Your Baby Sleep Through the Night.” McGraw-Hill, 2002. iBooks.
- Babies will use tools.
- Babies understand categories, but usually will not yet sort objects on their own.
- Understanding object permanence.
- 9mo babies know what sound patterns are possible in their language and where word stresses are.
- Oliver is toddling, pulling up and cruising.
- Oliver is in love with doors. Opening and closing doors and drawers. He stands and tries to turn door knobs. We are worried about his fingers getting slammed in a door.
- Oliver is all about movement and hates to be on the changing table where he can't move. We try to explain what's happening to him so that he is not treated as an object. "I'm going to put you on the changing table and I'd like you to help me by being still. Are you ready?" Wait a moment for them to get you.
- We allow oliver to have a toy on the changing table. His mobile is also over his changing table and that helps a lot.
- Nine month olds can remember something for 24 hours. - scientist in crib
- Nine months is when the third nap drops in the late afternoon. Also, if baby is feeding at night and doesn't go right to sleep after feeding, if they seem awake nd want to play, then stop the night feedings. - weissbluth
- At nine and a half months we think Oliver is trying to say words, like "up" and "teeth".
- At nine and a half months Oliver is determined to feed himself, but he throws the spoon when he's done with a bite. We haven't figured out how to handle it. We are trying to ignore it and either say "looks like you're done eating now" or "looks like you can't feed yourself any more, I'll feed you". If he is sitting on the floor he sometimes throws the spoon down, picks it up, throws it down, and I let him do that practice. But I won't pick up the spoon from the floor, load it with food, and give it back to him.
- He is obsessed with opening and closing doors and we know he is going to smash his fingers and we aren't sure what to do about it. I guess we should get hooks that hold doors open.
- At nine and a half months Oliver is trying to stand on his own
- There is no need to feed the baby at night - weissbluth
- Nine month olds can express wants and wills. Communicate preference and be difficult. This is mot likely to happen at meals, getting dressed, bedtime, and in public. - weissbluth
- Nine months is when to begin sentence play. Word substitution. Say the same thing several ways. The fast/red/shiny car Fowler experiment in "what's going onion there"
- Zero tv is best. Studies show that even sesame street does more harm than good until about 18 months, most likely because it's at the expense of interaction with adults. "what's going onion there"
- “One type of feedback that is surprisingly bad for young children is correcting their speech” When a baby or young child mispronounces a word or uses incorrect grammar the best thing to do is acknowledge what they were trying to say and model it correctly. Excerpt From: Eliot, Lise. “What's Going on in There?.” Bantam Books, 2012-12-13. iBooks.
- Around nine or nine and a half months Oliver's naps went haywire! It was his transition from 3 naps to 2 naps and it was a very bumpy few weeks until Alex figured out a new sleep routine that got Oliver to fall asleep on his own.
- Milestone: clasping hands
- Milestone: cruising, walking while holding onto something
- “Then, around the fortieth week, the baby has started waking and going to sleep about the same time each day” Excerpt From: Pantley, Elizabeth. “The No-Cry Sleep solution"
- At this age Oliver really wants to feed himself. We do lots of finger foods like small pieces of cheese, bananas, cut up raspberries, pieces of cornmeal tamales, etc.
- We let Oliver use a spoon until he throws it on the floor and then I say "looks like you're not ready to feed yourself" and I spoon feed him.
- Bananas and apples are constipators. Prunes, pears and peas fight constipation
- At nine and a half months we started using bottles only for naps. Oliver was getting bottles during the day while I was at work and if I nursed him for a nap he fell asleep within 60 seconds of nursing. It is a huge pain to pump so much, but his naps have gotten much better.
- Alex created a very effective nap routine at this age. The elements are: play time outside, followed by a meal or snack, followed by a diaper change and sleep sack, then reading books. Alex reads books quietly until he sees some sleepy signs like yawning and scratching eyes. Then he gives Oliver a bottle with a slow flow nipple and leaves the room. Oliver drinks the bottle and falls alseep on his own, 15 minutes later Alex tip toes in and retrieves the bottle. Oliver's naps were totally unpredictable prior to this, and now that he's falling alseep on his own he's having predictable 1-2 hour naps twice a day. Sometimes Oliver just falls alseep on his own without a bottle. A dentist would shudder at this because a baby that falls asleep nursing or drinking a bottle has milk in its mouth that rot its teeth.
- Our doctor said not to give Oliver milk without solids at this age.
- Oliver is actually still waking up once in the early morning to nurse, even though it's very old for this. He wakes up around 5:30, nurses, and sleeps until 7:30. I haven't fought it because Alex does morning shift, so this means he can sleep until 7:30 (rather than 6:30 if Oliver sleeps straight through) and then Alex takes Oliver and lets me sleep from 6:00 to 8:30 (from when I finish nursing to when I need to get ready for work).
- At ten months we have been doing sign language for about six months and Oliver has not yet tried to sign to us (that I can tell).
- “Use simple statements such as, “It’s time for your bath” or “I don’t want you to climb on the table.” Compare these statements to questions such as “Let’s take a bath, okay?” and “Can you get off the table?” Excerpt From: Magda Gerber & Allison Johnson. “Your Self-Confident Baby"
- Milestone: baby stands alone at 11-12 months
- “I don’t believe in saying “You’re okay” to a child who has fallen down and is crying. If a child is crying, she doesn’t feel okay, and saying this negates her feelings. It is a mixed message, telling her one thing while she feels the opposite. If your child is frightened by a siren’s scream, for e” Excerpt From: Magda Gerber & Allison Johnson. “Your Self-Confident Baby.”
- Milestone: babies begin walking around now.
- Milestone: crude release of objects
- Milestone: babbling is more language specific. Making sounds of your specific language.
- My kids like: peek a boo, books books books, hiding, crawling through a scarf tent wall or a tent made of sheets, pouring water or large beans back and forth, puppets, opening and closing boxes and jars of all sorts
- Early in the second year children speak and recall their memories
- One year olds point and look when others point. Scientist in the crib.
- This is a good age to begin pooping in the potty. Oliver pooped most mornings after breakfast. When he was 14 months we starting sitting on the potty and reading books after breakfast. Wish we started earlier.
- Babies are working on a few key concepts that they master before three. One is categorization and similarity between objects. Another is causality: one object causing another object to move. This is usually mastered earlier. Babies also learn to differentiate between physical and psychological causality: the person got the ball because I smiled and cooed (psychological) versus the ball moved because I hit it with the rake. They are also learning object permanence.
- Categorization: give the child ten toy horses and ten toy ducks. They will often choose to sort them into two piles as a form of play. (Oliver started this at about two years old)
- One year olds love peek a boo.
- “By the age of seven or eight months, most babies understand the meanings of a few words. By three years of age, most children understand ordinary, conversational language, although they may not be able to produce it themselves. Children often understand many words by the age of one year, but they may say only a few before they are two years old” Excerpt From: “Positive Discipline: The First Three Years.”
- will understand that they are boy or a girl.
- Babies understand that you might want something different from them. Prior to this age, if given crackers and broccoli and asked to offer you some yummy food, the child will give you crackers because they like crackers. Even when you smile and say yum to broccoli. At 12 months they understand that you like broccoli. "Scientist in the crib".
- Love hiding and finding games. Put a toy under a cloth, allow baby to find. "Scientist in the crib"
- Babies go into naming frenzy: what's that? Lots of pointing and naming objects. Often "doggie" refers to any animal as babies try to group and label things, testing the meanings of words. "Scientist in the crib"
- Babies are understanding how people are different. They are less intimate with parents and take more space.
- Our nanny recommends not indulging in "I'm gonna get you / chase you" games with little kids because this can encourage them to run away at other times, like in a parking lot. Change the game to "can you get me?". Good luck with this.
- “For instance, if you see your child trying to put a shirtsleeve on his foot and getting angry that it doesn’t fit, what should you do? Wait. Perhaps even go out of the room. Ask yourself whether your child knows what he’s doing won’t work. If your child asks for help, say, “How can we do this? Is this for your hand or your foot?” Whenever possible, allow your child to figure out what to do.” Excerpt From: Magda Gerber & Allison Johnson. “Your Self-Confident Baby.”