Lyrics copyright 2016 by Jeff Suzuki
To the tune of Barrett's Privateers
The year was 1449
How I wish I had more shelf space now!
When a man from Mainz came to the town
With the strangest thing beneath his gown
Chorus
God damn them all. I was told
We press some ink onto a fresh page,
We'd print some books, pamphlets too!
I'm a broken man in a Bayrische burg
The last of Johann's printing crew.
The Chinese claimed priority
How I wish I had more shelf space now!
But Goryeo first had paper won,
And silk with patterns printed on,
Chorus
Now Johann had a clever plan
How I wish I had more shelf space now!
Instead of carving blocks he'd take
Some lead and tin and type he'd make
Chorus
At length we made a Holy Book
How I wish I had more shelf space now
At 42 lines they were wond'rous sights,
But each printing took two fortnights,
Chorus
We pressed broadsheets and playing cards
How I wish I had more shelf space now
We printed classics old and new
Soon books filled shelves and privies too
Chorus
But then one fateful printing run
How I wish I had more shelf space now
'gainst 95 theses on a door
The Church and Reich prepared for war
Chorus
It's been some years since that fateful day
How I wish I had more shelf space now
Now half of Europe's set aflame,
And our printing press is what's to blame,
Chorus
Pensic 45 was very hot, but fortunately it was also very humid...apparently it was the first time in 20 years that several battles were called because of heat. I was actually at one of those Pensics, and I don't know if it's the rosy glow of memory, but those Pensics seemed hotter than this one. However, there were two things that made it especially memorable for me.
First, I walked into a Bardic circle and there was someone singing one of my songs!!! Fanfolk call this egoboo. I caught the tail end of a rendition of Scarred Borough Wear. As I don't consider myself to be a singer, I look forward to hearing someone who can sing do one of my songs.
Second, as if I needed a second bit of egoboo, I ran into someone in the marketplace who asked, "Aren't you in commedia?" I said that I'd been in the Iron Commedia performance this year and the previous, and he shook his head. "No, I'm thinking back about fifteen years..." Yes, indeed: I was a not-quite-founding member of I Sebastiani (in from the third show), and performed with them from 1992 until 1999. To have someone remember my performance (as Arlecchino) after 17 years was quite an egoboo. (I reprised the role of Arlecchino in Pensic 45's Commedia All Stars performance, and if the video to the show goes up on YouTube, I'll include a link to it).
In any case, I picked up a CD of SCA filk to listen to one the way back, and the title of one of the songs inspired this piece. Just the title: I saw it on the disk jacket, and thought "Hey, there's a funny song here." As you might notice, the song turned out to be not-so-funny, but as every creative genius knows, what you think you're writing and what you actually write a very different things. I know this from experience...because I've listened to many a creative genius who's made the comment.
I hope this began a tradition of writing a new song on the way back from Pensic. We'll see what happens at next Pensic.
As usual, footnotes:
I struggled with this chorus. To my ear, Barrett's Privateers consists of a bunch of iambs (with occasional elisions), and the scansion should be "We'd press some ink on to a page." However, it doesn't fit the music. Each singer should do what they feel best (possibly including not singing this piece of drivel...)
Goryeo is one of the names of medieval Korea, and one of the areas where printing first appeared.
Won is the (modern) unit of currency in Korea, and is pronounced "wan" (so it does, in fact, rhyme with "on").
I couldn't find any information on how long it actually took to print the Gutenberg Bible, but it seems that at 42 lines per page, it would take quite awhile to typeset the whole thing.
This is the point where the song became serious. Several attempts had been made to reform the medieval church, but they all failed until Luther...and Luther had the printing press. It's not for nothing that the Vatican began to compile a list of prohibited books, and not prohibited texts.