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Copyright 2007 by Jeff Suzuki
If you've been reading my commentary, you know that I subscribe to the quantity paradigm: every great creative artist was, above all, prolific. This doesn't mean that every prolific artist is great (as you can easily verify by looking at my body of work...), but it suggests that maintaining a level of productivity is necessary.
The catch is, of course, that you have to produce. For creative workers, this can be difficult: how can you create on demand? There's an easy solution to maintain your productivity (and continue to hone your skills) that does not require quite as much creativity: non-fiction. Asimov (the patron saint of quality through quantity) noted that it was far, far easier to write non-fiction than to write fiction, and part of that, no doubt, was that with non-fiction, you already have the story, so you can devote your creative energies to the mechanics. Ultimately, that's what it's all about: if you have the mechanics down, then if you should ever get a really good idea, you can put it together using your finely honed skill set.
The song came about while thinking about writing non-fiction songs; the natural inspiration for non-fiction songs is history (though the Animaniacs have a few geography songs). For me, the best example is Billy Joel's We Didn't Start the Fire, which gives a year-by-year history of the U.S. from World War II to Nixon (and the final stanzas summarize from Nixon to Reagan). Here's my contribution, inspired at least in part because our kids are of an age where they can understand the words, so why not write songs they can sing that will simultaneously teach them something (see He'll be Riding Eight-Legged Horses for my first attempt in this direction). Besides, learning through music is a time honored tradition, and I hope that, when they come of age, they will be encouraged to write their own musical mnemonics. Incidentally, I'm of the opinion that mnemonic songs are useful pedgogically not because they make it easier to learn, and not necessarily because they make learning fun (though they do), but because they make associations easier to recover. For example, once you know the rhyme scheme is AABBCCDD, then remembering one of the lines in a couplet will help you remember the other line, and hopefully the context.
The music is “Turkey in the Straw,” and since most of us are not smarter than a fifth grader, I've included footnotes for the more obscure references. I wrote this between June 4 and June 6, 2007.
Update (August 16, 2008): Okay, I've done it and made my first YouTube video (embedded here). And now you'll know why I consider myself to be a writer, not a singer...
Our first President was Washington——at least that's what you say.
If you start the count from constitution day
If you don't then for the record you will have to name a few
That the rebels in Congress chose for me and you.
First there was Randolph, then Middleton
Randolph again, then John Hancock won
Signed his name and bid adieu
To the King of Great Britain and his redcoat crew.
There were other folk who served as Presidents for the US
But they couldn't fix our economic mess
Since the Continental Congress couldn't legislate free trade So they met in the state house and a new plan made. Three branches, each a check on the rest For Montesquieu said that form was best
Congress, President, and Court
And some promised amendments to keep their reach short.
So George Washington was first to be the U.S. head of state.
The electors chose him without much debate.
Then along came the first Adams and the XYZ Affair And some laws through the Congress to keep protests rare.
Jefferson wanted New Orleans town
Bonaparte said “I'll give you more ground.
Just pay cash and take up debt
For some old bills my countrymen still owe you yet.”
Our next President James Madison against the Brits made war So we'd have free trade and they'd impress no more. But they drove us out of Canada, and burned down DC too So our neighbor up north still has an extra U. Monroe saw slave states banned in the north, His Secretary, Adams went forth Said to Europe “Stay away!” And then like his dear daddy led the USA. Andy Jackson told John Marshall to enforce the laws he could Then van Buren's term was hardly any good For he tried to sink the captives of the slave ship Amistad But with Adams they won their freedom under God. What can you say about Harrison? Spoke in the rain, and then he was done. Texas Tyler tried to claim After Polk's great success made him a duck so lame.
On the battlefields of Mexico Zach Taylor made his name.
But he died in office and Fillmore became
One of three successive Presidents that almost no one knows.
Franklin Pierce and Buchanan were complete zeroes!
In 1860, Lincoln won it
South Carolina then had a fit
Said “So long, it's been real swell.”
Then they charged on Fort Sumter with a rebel yell.
Well the Civil war was fought over a state's right to secede.
In the end the North said you will Congress heed.
Andrew Johnson's reconstruction was too gentle for their taste.
So they tried and impeached him on a trumped up case.
Grant's term was filled with scandals of note
Tilden just needed one more state's vote
But then Congress met for days
Overturned the election and so we got Hayes.
James A. Garfield tried to change how civil service jobs were filled.
So by lone assassin he was shot and killed.
Arthur followed in his footsteps, then the next election saw
Grover Cleveland attacked by cries of “Where's my pa?”
“Gone to the White House,” came the refrain
Harrison's grandson in from the rain
Cleveland back behind the scenes.
Then McKinley gets Cuba and the Philippines.
Then one heartbeat stood between that cowboy and the topmost chair
So in '01 Teddy Roosevelt moved there
Busting trusts and saving trees and don't forget the drugs and meat The Progressives and muckrakers were really neat! Don't go too far, that was Taft's big sin.
Splitting the party put Wilson in.
Then came war and the League Fight
Prohibition and suffrage and the great Red fright
Warren Harding was elected (some say ladies thought him cute)
But his friends took bribes and gave him ill-repute.
When he died in twenty-three then Calvin Coolidge was the one.
“Laissez-faire is the way this country should be run.”
Hoover came next and things fell apart.
The Great Depression had a great start
Teddy's cousin Franklin D.
Said a New Deal is what the working man should see.
Harry Truman finished World War II ('cuz Franklin died before)
And he fired MacArthur in the next big war.
Then we said that we like Ike and put him in the top command.
And he said that an interstate would be real grand.
Kennedy next sent us into space,
Johnson tried poverty to erase
Nixon won, gave Mao a sign
But then bugs in the Watergate made him resign.
Now remember Ford was never chosen by the people's vote.
And that Carter walked in his election coat.
But he said that we should use less and help out the Middle East.
So we put in Ron Reagan and his voodoo feast.
George Bush the first fought war in Iraq.
Clinton spent too much time on his back.
Then there's Dubya, who can say
How we'll look back upon his presidential day.
A reference to a currently (2007) popular game show.
Prior to the Constitution, most states had their own currency, and regulated their own trade. One of the most important clauses in the Constitution forbids this practice.
Montesquieu: the author of the doctrine of separation of powers.
The Bill of Rights was not originally part of the Constitutuion, but the drafters promised to include it.
The XYZ Affair: Three American ambassadors refused to bribe Talleyrand.
The Alien and Sedition Acts were one of the more infamous acts of the Adams presidency. They effectively curtailed freedom of speech. Plus ça change and all.
The War of 1812.
Although named after the sitting President, the Monroe doctrine was largely the brainchild of Secretary of State Adams.
ne of Jackson's more famous quotes: “Justice Marshall has made his decision; let him enforce it.”
Tyler wanted to annex Texas, but sentiment was against it. After Polk's victory, Tyler pushed through an annexation bill.
In the 1876 election, there were four contested states (including Florida). Samuel Tilden needed any one of them to win the election; Hayes needed all four. The popular vote was for Tilden, but a House committee, voting along party lines, awarded all four states to Hayes. It was the most contested election before 2000.
Cleveland was attacked because he paid child support to an unmarried woman (although there were other possible fathers): “Ma, ma, where's my pa?” After he won, the Democrats quipped “Gone to the White House, ha, ha, ha!”
After Teddy Roosevelt was put on the McKinley ticket as Vice President (mainly to neutralize him politically), Mark Hanna, the prominent Republican, said “You've put that damned cowboy one heartbeat from the Presidency!”
Two of Roosevelts major accomplishments: the Pure Food and Drug Act, which established the FDA, and the Meat Inspection Act, inspired at least in part by muckraker Sinclair Lewis's The Jungle.
Taft was very, very big, but this wasn't really meant to allude to that fact. Roosevelt's hand-picked successor took the Progressive mantle seriously, leading to Roosevelt's Bull Moose Party, which divided the Republicans and allowed Wilson to win the election.
According to some pundits of the time, the only reason Harding was elected was that he was better looking...and women had just received the vote.
Trivia: Eisenhower is the only four syllable Presidential name, so I used “Ike.” I wanted to refer to the military industrial complex that Eisenhower warned about, but there were too many syllables, so I settled on the interstate system.
Ah, Reaganomics...cut taxes, raise spending, and maintain a balanced budget. Bush the First was one of the first to use the term “voodoo economics.”
Actually, we can say...but I'd rather keep this relatively apolitical. Dubya and Ike are the only two Presidents herein referred to by their nickname.
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