Summer Sunlight

by Amelia Fielden

The Honourable Mention tanka I’ve chosen from this section [homages to Sanford M. Goldstein] has a very different feel:

summer sunlight

brightens the playground

next to the graveyard . . .

can I ever do as much

with my five lines down?

Michael Dylan Welch, Sammamish, Washington

This is a reflective, personal tanka. With its proliferation of “s” sounds . . . summer sunlight, brightens, as, lines... it is beautifully lyrical when read aloud. The first three lines, in a rhythm of 4/5/5 syllables, show us an unusual and vivid scene: next to a graveyard, a solemn place, there’s a children’s playground under warm sunshine.

Then comes a pause, and the rhetorical question, “can I ever do as much / with my five lines down?” The poet would hope his work could be illuminative, but somehow he doubts it; by using the word “ever,” he emphasises that doubt.

Michael’s 3/2 line, upper and lower, part structure is a perfect example of traditional tanka juxtaposition.

From the phrase “five lines down,” we understand this tanka speaks of Sanford Goldstein. Five Lines Down was the name of the (long defunct) tanka journal Sanford edited with Kenneth Tanemura. Also, Sanford often referred to his tanka writing as “five lines down.” Like spill/spilling, it is an expression associated with Sanford’s philosophy of his work. This is such a key phrase, it appears in four other tanka in the Sanford tribute section, with another seven tanka including just the words “five lines.” However, by marrying the phrase to his previous four lines, and personalising it as “my five lines down,” Michael has written a rather different, more expansive, poem. Congratulations, Michael!