The Ghost of Gandhi
As an Indian American and a person of color, I’m used to people making assumptions about me. Some people speak loudly and slowly to me. Others bow to me like I were a Buddhist monk. Yet others clutch at their purses when I get on an elevator. But there’s no assumption as emotionally heavy as the one about me being a follower of Gandhi. Gandhi… The two syllables have tracked me down across continents. Like Hamlet, I’m haunted by a ghost. But unlike Hamlet, Sr., Gandhi does not goad me to revenge, but to do the opposite. “Don’t let your history be your destiny,” he says.
As an Indian American and a person of color, I’m used to people making assumptions about me. Some people speak loudly and slowly to me. Others bow to me like I were a Buddhist monk. Yet others clutch at their purses when I get on an elevator. But there’s no assumption as emotionally heavy as the one about me being a follower of Gandhi. Gandhi… The two syllables have tracked me down across continents. Like Hamlet, I’m haunted by a ghost. But unlike Hamlet, Sr., Gandhi does not goad me to revenge, but to do the opposite. “Don’t let your history be your destiny,” he says.
It is with this ghost whispering in my ear that I attend a predominantly-Indian gathering. I find myself in a room with a dozen people huddled around a TV showing a football game. But nobody is watching it. Instead they’re discussing India going nuclear.
It is with this ghost whispering in my ear that I attend a predominantly-Indian gathering. I find myself in a room with a dozen people huddled around a TV showing a football game. But nobody is watching it. Instead they’re discussing India going nuclear.
“If nuclear weapons are bad, why should some countries have them and not others?“says a Mrs. Patel in a blue saree.
“If nuclear weapons are bad, why should some countries have them and not others?“says a Mrs. Patel in a blue saree.
“Because a gun in the hand of a black man looks twice as menacing as a gun in the hand of white man, to white people,” says Mr. Patel, sipping his darjeeling tea.
“Because a gun in the hand of a black man looks twice as menacing as a gun in the hand of white man, to white people,” says Mr. Patel, sipping his darjeeling tea.
I raise my hand. “But, isn’t it strange that the land that gave birth to the Buddha, Mahavir Jain, and Gandhi, the adopted country of the Dalai Lama and Mother Teresa, a land of vegetarians, is now building nuclear bombs?”
I raise my hand. “But, isn’t it strange that the land that gave birth to the Buddha, Mahavir Jain, and Gandhi, the adopted country of the Dalai Lama and Mother Teresa, a land of vegetarians, is now building nuclear bombs?”
“Not at all,” says Prof. Kumar, who teaches at a local university. “Non-violence brought us nothing but misery. The Middle Easterners raped our women and converted some of us to Islam at sword point. The Europeans turned us into their servants on our own soil. Now Pakistan, which used to be part of us, gets drunk on Islamic fundamentalism and wants us to roll over and play dead. Are you surprised we’re resisting?”
“Not at all,” says Prof. Kumar, who teaches at a local university. “Non-violence brought us nothing but misery. The Middle Easterners raped our women and converted some of us to Islam at sword point. The Europeans turned us into their servants on our own soil. Now Pakistan, which used to be part of us, gets drunk on Islamic fundamentalism and wants us to roll over and play dead. Are you surprised we’re resisting?”
Nudged by Gandhi’s ghost, I say, “Didn’t Gandhiji say ‘I would rather India perish than she go the way of war?’”
Nudged by Gandhi’s ghost, I say, “Didn’t Gandhiji say ‘I would rather India perish than she go the way of war?’”
“Young man, the trouble with Gandhi,” says Mr. Patel, “is that he preaches non-violence to the rape victim. Non-violence will only work if the oppressor buys into it.”
“Young man, the trouble with Gandhi,” says Mr. Patel, “is that he preaches non-violence to the rape victim. Non-violence will only work if the oppressor buys into it.”
“I never said non-violence works,” says the ghost at my side. “I only said it’s the right thing to do.”
“I never said non-violence works,” says the ghost at my side. “I only said it’s the right thing to do.”
“Did you hear the rumor?” Mrs. Patel passes around gossip along with a plate of sweets. “They say Israel, United States, and India have formed a secret coalition against the Islamic fundamentalists.”
“Did you hear the rumor?” Mrs. Patel passes around gossip along with a plate of sweets. “They say Israel, United States, and India have formed a secret coalition against the Islamic fundamentalists.”
I visualize the world of the next millennium pitting muslim against non-muslim, white against non-white, and the rich against the poor.
I visualize the world of the next millennium pitting muslim against non-muslim, white against non-white, and the rich against the poor.
I clear my throat. “I thought we Indians had a special mission in life, to be peacemakers. But we have become like our oppressors. We have lost our soul.”
I clear my throat. “I thought we Indians had a special mission in life, to be peacemakers. But we have become like our oppressors. We have lost our soul.”
Although it’s raining outside, I decide to go for a walk. I feel I have no purpose in life beyond self-preservation. Dripping wet, I glance around for the ghost of Gandhi and find him standing in the middle of the road.
Although it’s raining outside, I decide to go for a walk. I feel I have no purpose in life beyond self-preservation. Dripping wet, I glance around for the ghost of Gandhi and find him standing in the middle of the road.
“Good bye,” I wave to him. “It’s been nice knowing you.”
“Good bye,” I wave to him. “It’s been nice knowing you.”
“On the contrary,” he says, “you’re just beginning to know me.”
“On the contrary,” he says, “you’re just beginning to know me.”
I get in the car and open the book I’ve been reading. There’s a quotation there from Barbara Standford: “Peacemakers . . . function in the world much like kidneys function in our bodies, constantly, unendingly removing the wastes and poisons which are an inevitable part of our lives. As long as we live, the poisons of hate, injustice, and misunderstanding will be produced, and peacemakers will be needed to clean up the mess."
I get in the car and open the book I’ve been reading. There’s a quotation there from Barbara Standford: “Peacemakers . . . function in the world much like kidneys function in our bodies, constantly, unendingly removing the wastes and poisons which are an inevitable part of our lives. As long as we live, the poisons of hate, injustice, and misunderstanding will be produced, and peacemakers will be needed to clean up the mess."
I look in the rear-view mirror and find a smiling ghost in the back seat. I decide to go back to the gathering and see if I could function as a kidney. I never thought of Gandhi as a nephrologist.
I look in the rear-view mirror and find a smiling ghost in the back seat. I decide to go back to the gathering and see if I could function as a kidney. I never thought of Gandhi as a nephrologist.
(Oct 2003)