Reverse Lightning Bugs

My name is Ray <N>. As a member of this church, I have been on a few committees and the Board. My greatest privilege was serving as a co-chair of the Same Sex Marriage Task Force, which brought the gross inequalities of the legal system to our community’s attention. Well, after a period of such intense activity, I stopped darkening the doors of this church. I call this the phenomenon of the reverse lightning bugs. Reverse lightning bugs are people of color who visit predominantly white churches, even become active members, frantically flash our darkness about and then disappear. Why do we do that? Here’s my story.

Being a perpetual minority is inherently disempowering and not much fun. For instance, one becomes a curiosity piece for new members and visitors, whose stares seem to indicate that even a visitor because of his or her whiteness instantly belongs whereas I, with over a decade of membership and service, still stick out like a sore thumb. But what got to me most were the explanations from other members that the overwhelming whiteness of our church is merely an accident or worse, the result of “them” not liking “our” style of worship and “our” intellectual approach to faith. Once we shift the responsibility to “them,” race becomes the habitually ignored “elephant in the living room.” While some UU churches made racial reconciliation their highest priority, the word “race” was excluded from our mission and vision statements until four months ago. Whether that is a coincidence or not, I have felt that our church—wonderful as it is in other respects--never made the intentional commitment to racial reconciliation. It was simply not a high priority.

It’s important to distinguish here between merely tolerating the presence of those who look different and actively “willing” a racially harmonious congregation and community into existence. We have plenty of toleration. What is needed is a strong will to change ourselves in fundamental ways so that we could achieve not just assimilation, but true integration.

The necessary change involves integrating not only our hearts and minds but our dinner tables and our friendships. Once that happens, facts like one third of all African American men under thirty being in prison and racial disparity of access to education, employment, transportation, healthcare, and law and justice no longer remain statistics but become a heartfelt passion for progress and reform. Without this transformation of our inner selves, adding another dozen or two people of color would just be a window dressing. Please note that this transformation is not an impossible task. Other UU churches such as All Souls in Washington, DC, Davies Memorial UU in Maryland and UU Society, East of Manchester, Connecticut are embarking on similar journeys.

Our church’s new mission and vision statements are an excellent start and serve as a roadmap to where we need to be as members of this great church and as citizens of this great nation. These statements are our Declaration of Racial Interdependence. We will not reduce polarization and create unity overnight but we surely can chip away at it every day. This June our congregation formed a Racial Diversity Task Force, whose mission is to intensely engage our church with the community of Columbus. We have started facilitating honest conversations, creating coalitions and offering opportunities for our members to work hand-in-hand with our brothers and sisters of color. But the task force is not going to do our work for us. We have to make it a priority to reach out to our neighbors who may not look like us and expand the community of peace with each handshake and caring words and actions.

Of course we don’t do this just to make ourselves feel good. We do it because it lets us practice what we preach. This is the heart of Unitarian Universalism. We will be able to speak of the interconnectedness of the universe with conviction when we have worked our behinds off on the interconnectedness of Columbus, Ohio. My own sense of interconnectedness goes deeper. Until all loving couples irrespective of sexual orientation are treated equally under the law, I do not consider my straight marriage complete. And until all children, no matter what their race, get equal access to education, my beautiful biracial children’s education will be deficient. This is my story, this is my life, and until the last flutter of my wings, this reverse lightning bug will continue this work and spread this message.

Namaste.

(Oct 25, 2009)