When our students start middle school, especially after a year plus of online learning, friendships & connections are super important. From a developmental standpoint these years are the start of students move from having their parents be their source of identity to those of their peers. Erickson calls this developmental stage Identity vs. Inferiority. Piaget calls this the start of the Formal Operational Stage. In the Montessori planes of development, this is the Third Plane - where adolescents begin to develop a deep sense of emotional independence. The theme across all three of these stages, as well as the myriad of other developmental psychologists and researches, is the constructing of their social self and feels the need to participate and have more control over his life. Montessori states that you will see an increase in an “I can stand on my own” mentality. As a parent our natural inclination is to give our children the space to develop into who they are a humans - and honestly they will often times demand that space.

Giving our children space to grow into who they are is a key aspect of this milestone and is the heart of what happens in middle school. Friends become the source of identity and connections. Peer acceptance is paramount to their day to day identity and trying on different identities is part of the middle school experience. So what does this have to do with cyber safety?

Often times as children grow into their middle school years - and the constant pushing away of parents - it results in parents taking a step back and allowing their students to explore and experience this time in school. The challenge during this time is due to the neurological development of their brains, the thinking part of their brain is just starting development (and won't complete until they are 25), and their ability to make good choices isn't always at the front of their minds. The result is a human who is lacking critical thinking skills, puts their friends & outside the home relationships first, and now has access to digital devices and technology that gives immediate feedback. Kids are taught from a young age about cyber security and digital citizenship, and yet there is still so much that happens online that is problematic.

Below are a myriad of resources that you can refer to for support in this digital age. Checking cell phones, monitoring internet sites, shutting computers & cell phones down at night are all suggestions that will support your student in learning how to make good choices. If your child has a cell phone, checking it on a random basis is one way to make sure they are making safe choices. I know that many of us have seen these over and over again, and I can promise you that in my 15+ years as a counselor I have to deal with multiple issues every year that come up when kids make unwise digital choices - photos, texts, snapchat messages, posts on social media. Stepping closer to our children during this time supports their development and reduces the risk of making a cyber-snafu.