Section 3.2:

Our Family Experience

Instructions

You will want to do these activities over time with your family. The different activities may work for some ages and not for others, for some families and not for others. Be creative and use these ideas as jumping off points! Watch the videos and then go to the PDF link below the first TIP on this page to download full instructions for each activity.

TIP: Your kids are watching the ways in which you handle (or do not handle) this transition

Model good grief: Grief is a tough emotion to navigate at every stage of our development. Do what you can to face your losses and grieve them in healthy ways during this time of change and loss, and help your children express their sadness.

Resiliency: Teach your children about the bright side; model optimism and resiliency. Help them look for the good, and the hidden positive surprises that can emerge in tough times.

Help yourself: If your agency has a member care team, call them for support in areas that are weaknesses or difficult for you, or that you become aware are affecting your children.

Record Memories: Use a variety of media to record your transition. Kids especially like to watch themselves and their friends say goodbye to each other.

PDF Description of Family Closure Activities

5- TO 15-Minute Activities

Examen for Children

Purpose: Incorporate a daily debriefing time into your child’s life
Bedtime Examen Questions:"What was the best part of your day? the worst?""Jesus, where were you during my day?"
See Section 1.0: How to Engage in The Transition Workbook for the introductory information and video on examen.

Remember: a link to the printable PDF Description of these activities is under the TIP above!

Everyday Affirmation

Purpose: Point your children to their gifting and strengths!
Prep: 5 minutes daily prayer. Ask the Lord for growing awareness of your child's gifting / strengths and for words of affirmation

Prayer Postures

Purpose: Use your bodies to connect with your feelings, and to communicate them to others and God.
Note: You can use this way of expressing yourself to answer any of the prompts and reflections in this workbook. For example, you could use prayer postures in response to the daily examen questions by positioning your body in ways that communicate your experiences and feelings to God.
See Section 1.0: How to Engage in The Transition Workbook for our introduction and further instructions concerning prayer postures.

Family Discussion

Purpose: Create space to notice and develop understanding through 0pen-ended questions.
Note: Be wary of correcting your child in the context of this exercise (see PDF instructions)
Discussion topics: "What did we come here to do?""What has been achieved?""What are we moving toward?""Why are we moving that direction?"

1-Hour Activities

Family Timeline

Purpose: create space for noticing the events, people, etc., that have been significant for each member of the family
Supplies: paper, markers, crayons, glue, magazines, photos
Ideas: use symbols, photos, pictures or objects to represent events and their accompanying impact. Examples: mountains and valleys to denote highs and lows; lightning bolts to signify catastrophic events; teardrops to represent grief; sunrise to represent growing hope; twigs to represent hurdles that had to be navigated.
Instructions: family members create timelines to share what was significant and memorable for them during a certain time period. This activity can be done by each person on their own sheet of paper or together on a large piece of paper. Either way, each family member chooses the significant people, events, etc., that they want to be represented, and all share.

Memories

Purpose: Make space for remembering creatively together
Instructions: Set aside a creative “memory” time (adaptation below for 5 min. activity). Pose one of the following questions to your family members. Ask them to show what comes to mind in a creative way: act it out, tell the story, share a picture(s), use objects that remind you of the time and place...
Memory Prompts:

What are your favorite memories of a family experience?
What were some of your low points as a family?
What did you learn together from these experiences?
What are some of the funniest things that have happened?
What do you cherish about life here?
What's the strangest thing you have eaten here?

5 Min Activity: write your prompts on slips of paper and place them in a jar. Draw one out and discuss/share during dinner.

Draw your Family

Purpose: fosters family identity
Instructions: Using a large piece of paper, all of you draw a picture representing your family and where you are in your life journey/adventure together.
Take this picture with you when you depart, and plan to have another picture-drawing time in 6 months (or whenever seems appropriate). This will create a natural check-in with how your family members are perceiving your family relationships as well as windows into how they are doing as individuals.

Clay ExercisePurpose: Consider how you’ve grown and changed
Supplies: clay (multiple colors)
Instructions:

Give 2 different colors of clay to each person of the family: Color A represents you and Color B represents your host country – everything about it: its geography, people, traditions, food, etc.

Spend a few moments molding Color A into a circle, and Color B into a square. Place them in front of you. This is what you looked like when you first arrived – you were you, and this country was separate from you.

Now...

See link under the TIP above for PDF with full instructions.

Host Country Game

Purpose: Creates space for noticing and respecting differences in experiences and feelings

Supplies: variety of papers, writing utensils

15-36 seconds in the video describe setting up the game

16sec- 1:45 in the video describes how to play the game

1:46- end in the video describes how to adapt this activity for shorter time periods.

Remember: full instructions concerning all of these activities are in the PDF link under the TIP above.

Longer Activities

Building a R.A.F.T.

Purpose: Help your children develop their awareness, and develop a plan for leaving their relationships well
Supplies: journals, calendars, (photographs?), writing utensils; a visual of a raft / the R.A.F.T. acrostic / a toy raft
Note:47 seconds- 3:09 in the video gives an example of a kid friendly explanation of RAFT3:15-7:05 in the video explains how to engage with each letter of RAFT

What Have We Lost?

Purpose: Notice and list losses to lay a foundation for healing

Supplies: craft supplies and/or journal

Find full instructions for all these activities in the PDF link under the TIP at the top of this page.

Affirmation Dinner

Purpose: Builds family fun, unity and trust!
Prep: Ask family members to to remember something specific to verbally affirm about each person and/or to prepare something that will affirm each member of the family (card, song, poem, drama, etc.)

TIP: Did you know? Saying goodbye to pets is one of the top hardships for TCKs.

Connect your child with people who understand the unique challenges and needs of TCKs.

(Such folks can be great resources for you as a parent, too!)

Consider MTI and InteractInternational or another agency's programs that specifically address transition and cultural identity issues for TCKs.

Go to Section 3.3: The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly

Section 3.0: Final Goodbyes

Section 3.1: Team Closure

Section 3.3: The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly

Go to Section 4: Strategic Preparation

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