Section 2.3

• What impact have your years living and working here had on you as a single person?

• What / who has contributed to your sense of stability here?

• What / who has detracted from your sense of stability here?

• What / who has contributed to your sense of community?

• What / who has detracted from your sense of community?

• What have been your most significant relationships during your time here?

• What has made them significant?

• What blessings have you received as a single during these years?

• How do you feel about your singleness at this point In your life?

• What questions or challenges might you have concerning your singleness that you want to address either before, or after, your move?

• What might be important for you to communicate to others before you depart?

• How might you be able to bless others before you depart?

• What kind of impact has living cross-culturally had on your marriage?

• Describe your present relationship with your spouse.

• Look back at the years you have been here and notice the changes and trajectories in your relationship with your spouse (you can use symbols, pictures, adjectives or phrases to capture different 'times' or stages in your relationship).

• What can you do to affirm your spouse in ways that s/he will be able to receive (you might think in terms of love languages)?

How can you tell her/him what s/he has meant to you, and how s/he has concretely blessed you during your time in this location?

• How can you bless your spouse in these final months before you depart?

• How could you celebrate this era in your life together before you depart?

• What means may be helpful for strengthening your connection with each other through this transition?

• What might be helpful to stabilize you both during these months before you depart? (See Section 1.3: Stabilizers. )

• Who might mentor you in how to support one another well in this time of transition?

• What do you want to work on in yourself as a spouse during this time of transition?

  • • • After you depart?

      • What do you need help with?

      • How might your spouse support you well? What might be a fruitful way to communicate this?

      • Who else might you need to support you in this transition? (Mentor; spiritual director; therapist; prayer minister, etc. – see Section 1.3: Stabilizers.)

• How well equipped do you feel to take your children through this transition?

• What kind of help do you need?

• • Describe your relationship with each of your children, reflecting on your relational 'posture' toward each one over the course of their lives / during your time serving cross-culturally.

How do you feel about each one?

What kind of shifts and trajectories do you notice In your relationship with each one?

Do you notice any themes? Commonalities? Differences?

• • What joys and delights does each child bring to you?

• • What are your deepest concerns for each child?

• • How does each of your children feel about the coming transition?

• How has each child been communicating their feelings about their upcoming move?

Have you noted the feeling words they are using?

Their physical expressions of excitement or fear (butterflies in the tummy, stomach ache, headaches, etc.)?

• How can you engage with your children to help them express what Is going on In their hearts?

If you feel you need help with this, who could you contact to help mentor you In this area with your children? (Other parents you respect for their healthy parenting approaches; member care personnel with your employer, for examples.)

• • How well-positioned do you think your children are for this move on a scale of 1-10?

Apply this scale however you wish - considering each child's maturity level, emotional resilience, scholastic achievement level, etc.

• What fears or concerns do you have for each one? Who can you talk with about this?

• • What have you seen forged in each of your children through their cross-cultural experiences?

• • What vulnerability do you perceive is linked to their cross-cultural experiences?

• • What kind of impact has living cross-culturally made on your relationship with each of your children?

• • What do you want to work on in yourself as a parent, or need help with, as you make the coming transition to life back in your country of origin, or your new location?

• • Who do you need to help you? (Member care personnel, mentor, therapist, spiritual director, etc.)

• • Outline the steps you need to take to connect with this person. Schedule your first step In your calendar.

• • What can you do to affirm your children in ways that they will be able to receive (you might think in terms of love languages)?

• • How can you celebrate the positive ways each one has grown through these years?

• • • • • • Do you have any apologies you need to make to your children?

• • How can you bless your children in action and in word

– during these coming months?

– as they depart the country?