I don’t remember if I was young, or if I was old, because as I blossomed into this alternate world, I was neither young, nor old. What I can say is that it all seemed to happen too fast; my life-every part of it. I was always the guy who was too busy, but always thought I would still have the time to visit people I hadn’t visited in ages, or see the things I wanted to see, or even just to slow down and take a breath. Maybe that’s why it was such a strange thing when there was only one breath left. That’s when it all hit. That’s when I realized life wasn’t forever. That’s when I started to worry, started to regret, and started to wonder: is there life after death?
In the moment of that last breath, the world stopped. For the first time in my life, I wasn’t racing, I slowed it down. Yes, me, the guy who was raised racing, who never slowed down, was still strapped into that racing seat, had slowed everything down, and realized it was the final time for everything. I had lost my chances to do those things I wanted.
I can remember the feeling of watching my son win that race. There wasn’t a time where I had been more proud of him and I couldn’t wait to tell him that and celebrate with him. But, as bad as I wanted anything in that moment, I started to notice everything getting farther and farther away.
So there I was, watching all of this from above, already. My crash, my son, my family not knowing what was happening or how to react. It wasn’t just a breath anymore, it was the end of the greatest blessing, taken for granted.