Frostbitten

by Jewel Johnson, Senior

December 9, 2016

That morning it was snowing. I had slipped on my snow boots and slipped out onto the back porch. I looked around me. The bite of the December air stung my cheeks and nose as I took my first step into daylight. Of course daylight may be a bit of an over exaggeration. It was early so the sun hadn't quite breached the mountain tops. This was not a good time for me to be awake. It allowed my mind to wander.

My heart began to race. There was too much to think about, and too much that scared me. Everyone else in the house was asleep. I couldn’t distract myself I couldn’t avoid it. The inside of my head began to be a mirror image of what I could see in front of me.

Cold.

Dark.

And without any protection, my thoughts could be deadly.

I tried to rub the numbness from my arms. I should’ve grabbed my coat. I should’ve put on more than boots and pajamas. The snow remained untouched by the rest of the world. If it weren’t for the falling snow I would think it had gotten cold enough to freeze time itself.

Snowflake after snowflake kissed the ground. They fell like grains of sand in a hour glass, reminding me of what was could be coming. I was running out of time. I would need to get moving soon. Keep up with those who would awaken around me. I had papers to turn in, and rooms to clean. I was meant to cook dinner tonight. There was a presentation due in one class or another.

I felt my face stuck in a worried frown, and the beat of my heart continued to flutter nervously. How would I survive out there.

The sun peaked over the white blanketed mountains. My dog stepped onto the porch behind me. He charged into the yard, kicking up snow and leaving sloppy prints in his wake. A laugh bubbled up from low in my belly.

“What are you doing out here. Come in and close the door. Its f-ing freezing,” my baby’s father said from the kitchen.

I slipped off my boots, and slipped into my bedroom. A baby was in the crib next to my bed. She began to stir and coo. The arms of someone who loved me slipped around my waist.

I checked my phone. A friend had sent me, Goodmorning! I had this crazy dream about you last night.

I looked around. I was getting warmer in my home, with those who loved me and with those I loved. Feeling what I felt where I was, I knew I could brave the storm that might’ve been lurking beyond the snow capped mountains.

I would to keep moving forward.

“You’re so cold,” that boy I loved said, before giving me a kiss on the cheek. “What were you doing out there? Trying to get frostbite?”

I chuckled and looked into our baby’s sleepy eyes.

“Just watching the snow fall, and waiting for the sun to come up.”