Counselor's Corner

Put Your Stress to Rest

Hi, Stress

According to Medlineplus.gov, Stress is a feeling of emotional or physical tension. It can come from any event or thought that makes you feel frustrated, angry, or nervous. Just like physical pain, Stress is your body's reaction to a challenge, demand, or threat.

There are two main types of stress:

• Acute stress. This is short-term stress that goes away quickly. You feel it when you slam on the brakes, have a fight with your partner, or ski down a steep slope. It helps you manage dangerous situations. It also occurs when you do something new or exciting. All people have acute stress at one time or another.

• Chronic stress. This is stress that lasts for a longer period of time. You may have chronic stress if you have money problems, an unhappy social life, or trouble at school. Any type of stress that goes on for weeks or months is chronic stress. You can become so used to chronic stress that you don't realize it is a problem. If you don't find ways to manage stress, it may lead to health problems.

People experience Acute Stress once in a while in their lives. Just like the explanation above, we meet new people, we meet challenges, we do various activities, which somewhat proves that we are alive. However, when this stress goes on for longer periods of time and starts to affect the way you study or socialize, it might have transformed into chronic stress and that’s when you need to seek out the help of others.

The Enemy of My Enemy is My Friend.

Stress, I repeat, is your body’s reaction to challenge, demand, or threat. Your mind will give you a warning signal when it senses that threat is coming, in order for you to anticipate and be ready. This warning will make you feel uneasy, nervous, or even panic. Notice that the real enemy is not the stress itself, but the threat that is coming towards you. Imagine, for example, when your house alarm rings suddenly, it probably means someone is trying to break into your house. Which one should you handle first? The alarm or the possible intruder? Will you call the alarm company or will you call security? Can you solve the problem only by turning off the alarm?

Cope with Stress = cope with the issues.

When you want to cope with stress, your goal is not to defeat the stress itself, but to identify and work on the triggers of your stress. There are times when you know what events trigger your stress, but not everyone knows that the event itself sometimes is not the direct trigger. Let me give you an example:

Rocky feels so nervous every time he needs to do a presentation in front of his classmates and teacher, whether it is in the class or in an online class. His heart will start beating faster, his palms are sweaty, and he will stutter when doing the presentation. He came to his counsellor to discuss this problem. After some conversation, Rocky noticed that he also feels nervous when he needs to answer questions from teachers. After further elaboration, he realized that his issue is rooted from the fact that he needs to deliver presentations or to answer his teachers in English. Even though he has been learning English for years and understands the language very well, he doesn’t usually speak English at home or with his friends. Speaking in front of the class in English makes him nervous. After identifying the root of his stress, Rocky tries to improve on his English speaking skills by talking in front of the mirror or by practicing with his family. He will sometimes record himself while doing presentations so that he can review his performance and improve it. Of course, the stress doesn’t magically disappear, but the more he feels confident about his skill the less stress he feels before a presentation.

Let’s Put Them To Rest.

Here are some suggestions that can help you to deal with stress. Please remember that healing is a process and there is no magic recipe to “cure” yourself.

• Identify and Take Control

You cannot control people’s reaction, the traffic, the weather, your teachers’ mood, the deadlines, well basically there are many things that are beyond your control. Make peace with those. Identify which one you can control and do something about it. You cannot force your friends not to “judge” you during a presentation, but you can practice over and over again until you are confident that you will receive positive feedback. You cannot control your teachers’ mood but you can try to get to know them and to read between the lines. Even if the final results are not the one you hope for, at least, you can say to yourself, “I have done my best.” rather than, “I wish I had prepared better.”

• Expect for the best, but be ready for the worst

Try to think back on how often you feel stressed because you want things to be as close to perfect. Making a plan is a vital part of any kind of activity. But take note that the plans should be fool proof. If your plan is too rigid and too perfect, you will start to become nervous in case anything bad happens. The “What If” terrors will start haunting your mind. Expect for the best, but be ready and flexible for the worst. Make plan B and plan C, in case your golden Plan A doesn’t work out.

• Do Fun Stuff

This is an old familiar suggestion that I believe all of you know already. Everyone likes to do different things. Some prefer physical activity like playing sports, some prefer mind related activities like reading or playing strategy games, some prefer artistic work like music, movies, or even funny YouTube videos. Well, I always feel better after watching Hanae Natsuki (the voice of Ken Kaneki and Tanjiro Kamado) and Ono Kensho (the voice of Giovanna Giorno and Tetsuya Kuroko) play Super Bunny Man and learn about their perseverance and teamwork. Sometimes a quick fun me-time can give a huge impact to your mood throughout the day.

• Oral Exercise

There is one activity though that is almost always associated with positivity. Those activities are related to oral movement, which is rooted in eating. Animals will eat only if they feel safe. Some animals will take their prey to somewhere private before starting to enjoy their hunt. Some people prefer to take away their food so they can eat privately at home. When people are stressed, they need to do something to neutralize the negative feelings. Eating is almost always related to something safe and enjoyable. Some cultures celebrate with a feast and so eating as a celebration becomes embedded in our mind.

So, is eating one of your coping stress strategies? For some people it could be. But do you know that you don’t always have to literally eat to feel better? Actually, the act of moving your mouth can trick your body and mind into thinking that you are safe and will reduce your anxiety.

Try chewing gum (https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/abs/10.1002/smi.2872), try talking to yourself from different perspectives (imagine one person that you respect/idolize and talk as that person to yourself), try repeating motivational quotes to yourself. The key is, you really have to move your mouth while doing it.

• Maintain a proper diet and Move your body

If you are easily anxious, reduce your caffeine intake as it can aggravate your level of anxiety. Eat more fruit, vegetables, and other foods with high Omega-3 Acids (https://ods.od.nih.gov/factsheets/Omega3FattyAcids-Consumer/) which have proven to be effective in reducing stress. And of course, try to move your body more. Your body will release endorphins after exercising which will reduce your perception of pain and trigger positive feelings in your body. On the plus side, you will receive a self-esteem boost as a bonus because you will feel more confident when looking at yourself in the mirror.