It’s the half point of the year, and we all know what that means: Debate Club has returned for another year, and club president Thomas Wagner is ruling once again with an iron fist. Wagner, for those who don’t know, has imposed his radical opinions on all of the members of the club, effectively negating the entire purpose of the club. His reign of terror has involved several regressive policies such as the blacklisting of political opponents, the establishment of a paramilitary group meant to enforce his rule, known as the “yellow shirts”, and the placement of enemies in so-called “tolerance camps”, designed to make enemies tolerant of his beliefs exclusively. Wagner has even taken to having his cronies forcefully remove other club presidents, and install puppet club governments which are subservient to his, namely the international club and the Hilton Times, which now serves as a propaganda factory for his regime. It is entirely possible that Wagner attempt to conquer our own Cadet Gazette, in an attempt to monopolize the High School’s news capabilities.
All of this seems incredibly dangerous to the balance of Hilton High School’s political workings, but one question remains prominent in this discussion: how did this happen?
In years past, those who attended debate club enjoyed relative intellectual freedom and the ability to express their beliefs freely. This all took place under the rule of then president B.T. John, and moderator Mrs. K Penna. However, once John left his leadership position to study the migration patterns of the teutonic gray snail species in the Uzbekistan lowlands, a power vacuum was left open. In the beginning of the 2017-2018 school year, Wagner usurped the proverbial throne of debate club and became its president by default, meaning that there was no democratic process involved in placing him in this position. Although Wagner’s rule initially appeared to be a benevolent one, it quickly saw debate club devolve into a group of loosely associated people who met on a weekly basis to yell at each other about petty issues, and the political mess that had likely transpired since the previous meeting; another scandal, so and so said this or that, this developing country launched high explosive missiles at another, and other miscellaneous national and global stories.
In the midst of this chaos, Wagner seemed to have capitalized on an opportunity to unite certain parts of the club, eventually cobbling together an enclave of loyalists who shared in his desire for order. In a desperate attempt to bring this stability to the club, an authoritarian and autocratic ruler was allowed to continue to dictate what fell within the confines of acceptable speech. The pendulum had officially swung back, and in exchange for peace, an absolute ruler was allowed to continue his backwards method of leadership. Among his most powerful tools for suppressing dissent was that of bureaucratic incompetence. In a phony attempt to satisfy his political opponents within the club, Wagner established a group of some of the most motivated lazy people in the entire school, and instituted an artificial “complaint processing program”. In this system, grievances from enemies would be submitted through the computer program, but were immediately sent to a garbage folder on Wagner’s private Email account. Worse yet, when club members attempt to find their “president”, they only turn up loose ends, as Wagner refuses to speak to anyone in person other than his trusted associates. Wagner has not been seen in person in months, as he only appears in holographic form for the bi-weekly meetings. Even his personal office in the back of the Library is constantly only occupied by his secretary, stating that he is simply “out for lunch”, or “not taking calls at the moment”, or that he is “currently in a state of limbo between the fourth and eighth dimensions”. Worse yet, even the most persistent investigators go missing, and are supposedly sent to areas in the school where no student or staff member has ever been, such as the infamous and even more mysterious business hallway.
The reign of Thomas Wagner, known by his underlings as Glorious Leader Archduke and Viceroy of Debate Club Wagner, has proven to be one of authority, order, and overusing big words without knowing what they mean, above all else. His followers are fervently loyal to his ideology of ludicrous claims without substantiation, and are forced to follow the ideals his “Tommunist Manifesto” by the letter. There seems to be no chance of revolution or social change within Debate Club, and its puppet clubs, and therefore we wait; we wait with great uncertainty for the future of the extracurricular world.