Evaluation

Compared to the last show, I can't quite place my verdict on whether I was pleased or not with the performance because it left me with more questions on how to improve rather than rectifying all my previous areas of correction. I can certainly say that this performance left me more exhausted than it did in the last show, and I think it was because the repetitive rehearsal of the Opening Scene beforehand demanded us to be in full costume and drained us of the little energy that we had left. Contrary to this, I did find that the essence of this performance for me was to experiment on stage within the boundaries of not abandoning the work and see what I can do to better my characterisation. Additionally, I believe that the number of problems that occurred on stage showed how adaptable I am in the moment. Since the performance wasn't wildly different to the last performance, my evaluation and reflection will be focused on the audience and the unpredictable moments of the show.

For example, I think the biggest change that affected the cast was the new target audience that we had (which consisted of Key Stage 4 students and grandparents of the actors). I think that this detail impacted our cast as we got used to the reactions that we received from the first audience and how they seemed more present with us than the audience that we had today. In some ways, this showed that those of us who relied on the energy that we received from the audience were left feeling slightly apathetic to the performance. When I tried to explain the effect having a smaller audience can have on the cast, I think the Director misunderstood me that it was a matter of faltering professionalism, but I wanted to communicate that it was a topic of the actor-audience relationship. Personally, it lacks any significance to me who the audience is or the quantity of it, as long as there is an opportunity to connect with them and create a welcoming environment for them. I believe that the actor-audience relationship is symbiotic and is a mutual understanding of listening, observing and responding to what is on stage, but that wasn't exactly the case for today. Due to the majority of the audience being young, many of the comedic parts or scenes didn't register with them and there were times when their immaturity got the best of them. For example, there were times when they would laugh when actors were talking, not in response to what was being said but for other reasons. As for the older members of the audience, they made the minority of the audience and were quiet throughout the show, so I think that this sudden change in interaction took some time for the cast to adjust to, but they were able to push through the show all the same. I found that between this show and the last show, I was indifferent as to how the audience was throughout the performance because I was focused on myself and what I needed to do in the scene.

Moving on from the audience, looking back at what happened on stage, there were quite a few moments where I need to think fast on my feet. An example of this would be in Scene Seven, where Dr. McEwen places the ears on Bellamy and she transforms into Bottom. Similar to the last show, there was where they were falling down from her head and she needed help with putting them back on as her hands were covered. A suggestion that I made to the actress beforehand was that if her ears fall down again during the show, do not hesitate to ask me to help even if I'm facing away from her. So, when they did happen to slide down she tapped me on the shoulder and I immediately continued to act as a fairy and place the ears nicely back into the right place, before going back to Titania. In my opinion, I think this showed one of the various times where I was level-headed on stage and my peers trusted me to support them on stage should they need it.

Nevertheless, for me personally, this level-headedness could only last so long throughout the show for a number of reasons. For instance, as I mentioned in my first evaluation, my dress malfunctioned in the previous show because it was not my intended costume and the pins were not secured beforehand. After talking to the costume and having them fix the pins properly, I was relieved to see that the dress had survived the intensity of the dance. Though unexpectedly, when it came to singing the song 'Let's Do It, Let's Fall in Love' to start off Scene 8, due to the dress being the wrong size for and as a result too long for me, the dress got caught on the stairs and I almost fell off the set - which was very scary to say in the least. Coming off stage, I was frustrated that I had to deal with it because it would have been helpful if the changes to the costume had been changed as I was told or if they had ordered the right size in the first place. But I reassured myself that it was live theatre and that anything can happen on stage, so I quickly got myself out of that rut and prepared myself for Scene 19. I also made sure to ask the Costume Team whether there was anything that can be done to help me with the dress, but they said no - which I was expecting since there wasn't any ideal time for that, so I just had to convince myself to hold the dress correctly in Scene 7 and 8 to avoid accidents.

Besides this, I also had moments where I was able to take creative charge of what I wanted to do on stage, for example, before coming on stage in Scene 19, I realised that my character was restricted in the last show because of the props that I had in my hands, like the gavel. Therefore, as we were approaching the scene, I asked the Chief Recorder if she was comfortable with the sudden change of holding onto my gavel until ask for it on stage. She happily agreed and understood why I wanted to do this, and this gave me the opportunity to be more expressive on stage and have the option to move around on stage. I greatly appreciate this moment in the show because I was able to reflect on what wasn't working in the last show and try something different, which also gave me a moment to show how my character is with little to no words. I also remembered that Dr. Reeves references that I'm holding the appeal throughout the scene, so I made sure to hold onto it (no matter how my impulse wanted to give it to the Chief Recorder).

Lastly, although this may not be linked to performance techniques or my characters, after noticing how much my energy was drained on Tuesday, I realised that from the first show I would need to find a to help myself regain energy as efficiently as possible. I am well aware from the last show that if I cannot make myself comfortable with the costumes and scenes that I have, then I should better prepare myself for the two upcoming shows. Hence, I made sure to buy the right snacks and fruits that would give me a boost of energy alongside bringing appropriate footwear to wear when I am not in character shoes - such as sliders.

As a target for the next show, I will continue to be resilient when performing for a different audience and push myself out of my comfort zone of what I have rehearsed. I think this can be achieved by staying present in the scene and responding accordingly with the lines that I have.

Objectively speaking, I honestly think that this show was the best that the cast and I had performed out of the three shows. It was the first time in a while that the buzzing sensation of performing came back into my system as I was on stage or preparing to speak. As the performance progressed, I made sure to take into account all the possible mistakes that could happen to me on stage and avoided them. I was able to use the experiences that I gained from the last two shows and refined them for this performance. Overall, I was pleased with this performance because I was proud of the work that we had left on stage for the audience to see and because there was so much fluidity between the cast that we were able to support each other off and on stage.

As the Director gave us feedback after the show, he asked us to think about whether we were actively responding or actively giving back what we had rehearsed to our peers. And I believe wholeheartedly that this was a performance where I was synchronised with my peers and I actively responded to what was being said to me as my character rather than just waiting to say my lines. It was a show in which I was able to let myself just be in the 'reality of doing' and let my impulses follow through when I want to. It was a thing in which I didn't regress back into 'factory settings' and I stayed in character from the moment I entered the stage to when I was leaving the stage.

As for my top few moments of the night, I think the Opening Scene and the reactions from the audience made the moment feel as if the scene had jumped out of a comic book. It made me happy with the thought that there was something extraordinary about Scene 1 that grasped the audience's attention and allowed all of us on stage to fully bring it to life. I also was shocked (but not surprised) that this was the day that the Jive would run the smoothest it has ever done before. It was nice to see that there weren't any mishaps and that it revolved around me enjoying the dance than thinking of the steps. Lastly, I was very proud of my entrance as the Judge and my ability to connect with the audience and my peers. I felt good as an actor to be grounded in my character and act accordingly to the given circumstances of the scene.

Now that the project is over, I feel relieved and accomplished that everything has gone to plan. It was somewhat cathartic to come to the realisation that the show was over, and that my work had been fulfilled by the end of it. I believe that this show was better than the Matinee or the first show because it included all the different elements that we wanted to explore and it took the audience on a journey between two lovers.

I think the only way I could have improved was by having more one-to-one sessions with the Director so that I can be more confident with the backstory and development of my character as the Judge. Adding to this, I would hope to see that we spent more time working on Scene 19 with those of us that speaking in the scene. Finally, I think it would be interesting how the show would change if we investigated different features of Physical Theatre. In regards to my choices on stage and for my character, I think that with what I had to work with, I was quite brave with trying something slightly different for every show. However, I believe that if I had more time to work on Scene 19, I could have pushed my character's flamboyance and status a bit more with the Director's support.

If I could do the project again, I would insist on a different direction to be taken with a few of the scenes. The approach to some of the scenes was hasty at times or long-winded, so I would hope to see that the time used for each of them is delegated more sufficiently throughout the rehearsals. Furthermore, I think that I will take on the reality that I don't need a large role to perform to the best of my abilities and that the character doesn't need to directly address another to still have a presence.