Listening Tool

Concept: When we listen with our hearts we develop strong relationship and conflict resolution, which brings us to empathy. When we listen, the rest of the Tools work easily.

Tagline: I listen with my ears, eyes, and heart.

Hand Gesture: Emulate a carpenter tapping on a wall listening for the location of a stud behind a wall. With two fingers, gently tap near your ear reminding yourself to “listen to” what is being said.

Listening with one’s heart is the key to strong relationships and conflict resolution. When we listen, the rest of the Tools work easily. This ability to listen to what we are saying to ourselves is naturally within each of us.

How is listening to yourself different from listening to others?

How is listening with your heart different from listening without it?

How do we listen with our hearts?

Listening and hearing are different.
- Listening is harder than it seems. Even though we hear things, we don’t always listen or take the time to focus. It’s even harder to listen when we have something important to say, or when we’re upset or angry. It’s almost like we can’t really listen to what someone else is saying because we’re too concerned about what we want to say next.
We listen to others with our eyes, ears, heart, and minds.
- We use our eyes to look at the person who is speaking.
- We use our ears to hear the words being spoken.
- We turn our hearts toward the heart of the person we’re listening to (“knee to knee”, “squared up”, “toe to toe”).
- We use our minds to understand the things we have in common with the person we are Listening to. This helps us to empathize with them.
The Listening Tool focuses on listening to others talk about how they feel and also listening to yourself when you are feeling different feelings.

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