Family Wellness Tip

The first step to get our brain ready for anything is to make sure it is regulated. What does that mean? A regulated brain has control over the body and emotions. A regulated brain can deal with bumps and blocks that come up during the day. How do I know if my, or my kid's, brain is regulated or not?

We'll compare regulated and dysregulated behaviors. Sometimes it is easier to see when things aren't right. That is why the dysregulated list is longer.

A brain that is regulated will look like:

• Control of emotions

• Body can be still

• Ability to focus for long periods of time

A brain that is dysregulated looks like:

• Fidgety or urge to move

• Need to touch things

• Inability to focus on 1 task

• Quick to anger, frustration, or sadness

• Stomach ache or headache

• Feel spacy

• Poor memory

Think of it this way: You've had a tough week and a really rough day. You head home, feeling tense. You get home and here come all the questions from your kids about dinner and the weekend. Will you handle this interaction well or will you be irritable? Will you calmly answer the questions? Will you yell? Will you ignore them and leave the room? Will you ask for 10 min of calm before you can answer the questions.

Connection and attachment to others is the next stop to being whole brained. Why does having a relationship with someone else matter to my brain?

Feeling connected to others is a basic human need to survive. It is a basic human need to thrive. It is necessary for hope. It is necessary for bouncing back from problems. It gets buy-in when you ask someone to help you with or do a hard task.

Relation Skills

• Family Meetings

• "I" Statements

• Perspective Taking

• Apologies

• Playing Games, Doing Puzzles

• Listening without interruption or advice giving

• Spending Time (quality or quantity)

When we think of the brain, this is usually what we think of. Learning. Memory. Speech. Complex movements. BUT in order for us to do these things, our brain has to feel calm, safe, and connected first. So now what?

Now we can focus on learning. We can learn more about our emotions. We can make choices about right or wrong. We can think more about others. We can remember the sentence we just read and know what it meant.

We've found that there are 3 different types of reasoning/learning:

1. Academic

   • Classic reading, math, science

   • Professional learning

2. Behavior

   • Manage behavior

   • Change behavior based on location (home, school, community)

3. Social-Emotional

   • Manage emotions

   • Start & keep relationships

   • Understand consequences