Carnival of Blood (1970)

2/10

There is a carnival on Coney Island where the blood of annoying people is spilled. End of review.

We have one known actor in this one, Burt Young (best known as 'Paulie' from the "Rocky" franchise) who plays Gimpy the hunchback. The majority of the rest of the cast either appeared in only this movie or in this film and "The Filthiest Show in Town". I don't have much hope for the acting. Dan is a district attorney investigating a bunch of murders at the carnival (isn't that a job for actual detectives), Laura is his annoying fiancee, Tom is their neighbor and works at the carnival, and there are the usual weirdos you could find at Coney Island during the 70s.

We start off with an arguing couple at the carnival, some music, shots of the carnival, and a disembodied head lip synching to a heartbeat interspersed with the opening credits. Thankfully we get to Tom and Laura doing what all couples do. Oh, wait, somehow we're back to the arguing couple seeing a fortune teller, playing some games, riding some rides, and continuously bickering. Please let them die soon. Thank you.

Dan is assigned the case. He drags Laura to the carnival instead of taking her out to dinner. Tom spews wisdom. Back to the carnival with more drunks and freaks. Who can the killer be- Tom, who acts weirdly to fighting couple, Gimpy, who seems to hate everyone, the Fortune Teller, who freaks out about 45 seconds into every reading after fleecing an extra $5? I don't care. I want a nuke to go off an all of them.

More annoying people show up and die. I cheer. Eventually Dan somehow stumbles upon the killer's identity. Normally I would give some more detail, but it really is not worth the time.

The film stock has serious wear. The audio is better equalized than some older films, but it's not good. The music is awful. The filming and editing is a horrid mess. The acting ranges from bad to wanting the character to die as soon as possible. There is some amateurish gore. A decapitation, stabbing, eyes ripped out.

Don't watch this. It's not even fun or interesting, it's just annoying. I gave it an extra point because the annoying people died.