Canal Boat Adventure

Post date: 12-Jun-2016 18:36:47

Game by: David Hughes

Reviewed by: Simon Ferré

Ah, picture the scene. Squeezing your belongings into a long narrow floating tin can. What could go wrong? Sharing said tin can with family or friends would probably do it. Mile upon mile of unending boredom, steering said tin can around other tin cans, dodging multitudes of crap, rubbish, discarded fly tipping and stopping off at various points along the way to sample the delights at the canalside pubs and restaurants (because there's pretty much no other choice). There's not a lot worse than that, in my mind.

The loading screen is very pretty, but the poor chap on the boat has got a rather odd problem with his right arm (as you will soon see).

This game is rather strange. The blurb on the instruction screen says that this is not a game but 'an experience'. After experiencing the lack of word wrapping, it's not looking good:

Whilst steering your craft along a rather straight if slightly wobbly banked canal that has scenery which doesn't appear to change at all along the way, you encounter occasional shopping trolleys, sewage, fish, missiles (I kid you not), and so on. Initially I thought I had to avoid these items as they scrolled up the screen, but alas, no. Driving through or over these things does nothing. Hitting the banks of the canal, while slowing your progress and producing a beep doesn't appear to affect your craft. I also noticed an occasional random RND that comes floating by:

These do nothing to end the boredom of the journey. The only thing that does interrupt the monumental boredom is the occasional pause, and being notified that we have encountered a lock. On these all but brief occasions you either have to read through an 'interesting' fact, or answer a simple maths question.

And there you have it. Flickery, slow, tedious and desperate at times. I know not how long it takes to get to your destination, whether anything happens when you get there, or if the 'game' continues in the same fashion for ever. It's more an anal boat adventure than a canal boat adventure, only marginally better than simply sitting staring at your ZX Spectrum's initial copyright message for hours on end.

Score: Canal number 5 out of locks and locks.