Advanced Fiesta Simulator 3D, Part II:Highway to Hull

Post date: 13-Dec-2016 23:15:17

Game by: GReW

Reviewed by: Simon Ferré

I usually judder when I see the word Advanced in the title of a game that has been submitted into the competition. Generally, one would usually feel this means the game is going to be a real treat for the aural senses. This is, however, the Crap Games Competition, so Advanced generally means something entirely different. See my Advanced ZX81 Simulator that was submitted to the competition last year as a case in point.

I don't mean to be rude, and as I am usually quite optimistic, I hope the Advanced in the title of this game means the former, but due to once owning a B reg Fiesta and driving probably most of the way from Southampton to Hull (or somewhere up that end of the country) in it while wondering if the shaking that got worse the closer to 70MPH you got was going to break the rusty windscreen pillars, I seem to get the feeling I'm going to be a bit disappointed.

Right on to the review. [Few minute pause while I load up EightyOne.] I've been presented with a rather blocky but serviceable pictures of a Fiesta. There's even a flashing effect that reminds me of the Spectrum's FLASH attribute. Quite nice. Here's the screenshot:

Upon selecting to see the controls, I am presented with an introduction screen. Bonus points for two different spellings of Trusty on one screen:

And on to the list of controls. Oh my. I'd have trouble playing this even if I was an Octopus. I notice the omission of the ability to change to second gear. This must be where the "Advanced" in the title comes in. There's no control to adjust the Choke, however, so it loses a small amount of points due to this oversight:

The in-game screen is very nice, smoothly animated and really does appear in 3-D:

I notice the Fiesta in the game is unable to stay in a straight line, preferring to randomly dive to the left or right. Just like my Fiesta as I recall, so getting even more accurate. Even the clock doesn't work, nor it appears do the fuel gauge or speedo.

Now, assuming you manage to get your car to stay on the road, you've got it made, but, if like me you crash almost immediately, you'll be greeted with a screen similar to this one:

Thankfully this is where the simulation is different to my experiences in my old Fiesta. I don't think I ever flipped it. I stopped quickly in the dark in a layby on the A34 between Newbury and Oxford without failing to notice a large trailer or lorry or something large and articulated and stopped with mere inches to spare before my friend and I had lorry as a midnight snack, but apart from that small scary incident, I think I must have been doing something right.

I also never experienced burning gearboxes, etc. so unless the author had a quite nasty experience of his own, I don't know why he's taking 1980s car safety to the extreme.

I could be mean and show you the screen that appears if you manage to make it to your destination, but I'll leave that as a challenge to you, dear reader.

In summary, there are some very nice graphics, nice effects, nice touches, witty ending and a well thought out game. What more could you want? Well, I'm not sure. On one hand it's a bit repetitive, on the other the great graphics, etc. really make the game too nice for a crap game competition.

Score: Mark II out of 40 odd miles.