In Memory of Lorraine

MEMORIES OF LORRAINE: An album of photos assembled by Kevin.

The family is saddened by the passing of Lorraine, beloved mother of Dan, Kathy, Brien and Kevin; grandmother of Marie, Dan, Genevieve, Vivien, Patrick, Shanna, Kevin, Christine and Andy; great-grandmother of Xander; and sister of Pat.

Lorraine died peacefully on Thursday, June 5, 2014, at home at Sunrise of Crestwood, with Kathy, Brien and Kevin at her side. She is now rejoined with her husband of 59 years, Daniel, and will be greatly missed and fondly remembered by all who knew her.

The following obituary was published in the Journal News and appears on the website of Flynn Memorial Home:

Sept. 22, 1951

Lorraine Carey Murphy passed away peacefully on June 5, 2014, in Yonkers, N.Y., her hometown for nearly all of her life. She was 83. Born July 7, 1930 at Yonkers Professional Hospital to Edith Mae O’Brien Carey and Joseph James Carey, she attended St. Peter’s parish school and Sacred Heart High School, graduating in June 1948.

While employed as a secretary in the chemistry department at Fordham University in the Bronx, Lorraine met graduate student Daniel B. Murphy. Three years later, on Sept. 22, 1951, they were married at St. Peter’s R.C. Church in Yonkers. They lived in Morristown, N.J., and State College, Pa., before settling in Yonkers. They raised four children and eventually had nine grandchildren and a great-grandson. Over the 59 years of her marriage, Lorraine devoted herself to her family with love, kindness, patience and good humor.

Lorraine enjoyed summers in Noyac, on Eastern Long Island, and travel, including family vacations, several cruises and trips to Ireland and elsewhere in Europe. She kept extensive journals and scrapbooks of those journeys.

Lorraine was a member of the Hudson River Museum Auxiliary, the Chaminade Club of Yonkers and the Yonkers Historical Society, and a long-standing parishioner at St. Paul the Apostle Church.

She will be deeply missed by her family, friends and all who knew her, including the caring staff at Sunrise Senior Living of Crestwood.

Predeceased by her beloved husband, Lorraine is survived by her children, Daniel C. Murphy (and wife Julia) of Fanwood, N.J.; Kathleen M. Civetta of Scarsdale, N.Y.; Brien J. Murphy of Yonkers; and Kevin A. Murphy (and wife Kathleen) of Yonkers; nine grandchildren and a great-grandson; her sister, Patricia Burke of Malta, N.Y.; and numerous nieces and nephews.

A funeral Mass for Lorraine was celebrated June 10 at St. Paul the Apostle Church in Yonkers, her longtime parish home. Her son Dan read the following eulogy.

Lorraine. Sometimes called Lori when she was young. Dad called her Lorraine, or Sweetheart, or sometimes “Hon.” We called her Mom; our kids called her Grandma. And over the last few years, at Sunrise – where she called everybody “Honey” – that was what everybody called her, too.

We hear she was a rather willful child – overruling her parents on naming her little sister … walking out of kindergarten because it was too silly for her.

Sept. 22, 1951

Later she rode the trolley to high school, where she took business courses because she admired the independent women who worked in the office world. She started her career as a secretary at Fordham, and – Well, there was this guy there, a skinny grad student, that she found amusing.

Who can explain how a chance meeting turns into a life-long love? Once in a while it happens. And while there must have been difficult moments along the way, there never seemed to be any doubt that they were made for each other.

But it’s not as though Lorraine gave up her independence for Dan. She entered a partnership, of two independent souls -- both strong, but, more often than not, pulling in the same direction.

Lorraine always enjoyed the warmth of family. She felt well-loved by her parents, she was thrilled to have a baby sister, and as a child she always enjoyed visiting with relatives. As she raised her own family, we, her children, always felt there was nothing more important to her than our well-being and happiness.

After we grew up and moved away, the fact that we always enjoyed family gatherings at her home says a lot about the atmosphere of love that she provided.

There’s a phrase Mom always used when we kids wanted to know what was ahead – What’s for dessert? Can we go to the beach tomorrow? She’d always say: “Wait and see.”

Maybe she didn't want to get our hopes up. Or, maybe, she was teaching us to enjoy the present -- because you can never be sure what the future holds.

These last few years – seeing Mom without Dad, Grandma without Grandpa, Lorraine without Dan – have just seemed unnatural. And so, as heartbroken as we are to see her go, I think we all feel glad in the certainty that she’s been reunited with the guy she fell in love with in the spring of 1949.

And what has seemed like a long few years to us, was just a blip of a moment in eternity – where Dad arrived maybe just a step ahead of Mom.

If we could ask her right now, “What’s it like there?” – I think we know what she’d say:

“Wait and see.”

Ok, Mom. Bye, for now.