by Dave Zornow
Published in the Cynopsis:Weekender, 12/16/06
When Winston awoke, he felt a cold breeze blowing through his bedroom window in the Hollywood Hills. The pounding in his head reminded him about last night’s network holiday party. Through the pain and the moonlight, the image of a ghost appeared in his bedroom.
"I am the Programming Ghost of TV Past, Present and Future–I've come to show you what has been, what is and what will be," said the disembodied voice. "But you can just call me PG."
Confused, Winston said, "If this is a parody of A Christmas Carol, am I not supposed to get three ghosts and a deceased ex-partner?"
Visibly annoyed, the ghost scolded, "This is a Cynopsis Dream. You just get the highlights. Deal with it!"
With a snap of his fingers, PG produced a 1950's Philco TV set airing an episode of the Texaco Star Theater with Milton Berle. "This," said the ghost, "is your past. See the men surrounding Uncle Milty singing ‘We're the men from Texaco, we work from Maine to Mexico?’ This is how television got started."
Winston was confused, "What does this have to do with me?"
With another ghostly snap of fingers, the TV disappeared. Suddenly Winston found himself in the offices of VH-1, in a "Pod-busters' meeting of ad execs discussing how to better integrate content and commercials. "No time to grab a bagel," said the ghost. "Follow me."
Winston and PG walked through a wall and apparated into the office of research executive speaking on the phone to a reporter. "Commercial ratings will make programmers think a lot more about audience flow. This industry will need to get better at bridging audiences in and out of breaks, and researching if we are better off with more pods that are shorter or fewer pods that are longer."
Winston nodded and began to realize where this was going. "PG," he asked, "What will the future of commercial ratings mean to programming?"
And with one final snap of his fingers, the ghost was gone and Winston was back in his bedroom. On his night stand was a glimpse of the future: the December 15, 2010 edition of MultiPlatformNewsWeekly.com. The headline read: "Just Cancelled: ‘Teen Idols: Where are they now?' Programming Ratings Are Tops As Commercial Ratings Drop.”
As the sun came up and the headline faded, Winston sprang from his bed. It was the beginning of a brand new day in the branded new world. ##
Dave Zornow is President/TNG Research, a media research consultancy and applications development company that works with media sellers and research providers.
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