Important Notes:
*Keep in mind these could be triggering questions for many students
*If student self-reports lower than a 5 on a sliding scale question, possible counselor referral needed
*If student has a difficult time (beyond appropriate shyness) answering many of these vulnerable questions, a possible counseling referral may be needed
*If a student shares any yellow or red flags with you let them know that you WILL touch base with the school counselor, but they can choose if they want to proceed with the counselor
(Remind student you are a mandated reporter if appropriate!)
“How is your relationship with your parents/partner/family/friend/coworker/classmate/teacher/boss……...?”
“How do you normally deal with conflict with the above-mentioned people….?”
“Who are other people in your life you can turn to for support when you have a conflict with above mentioned people?”
“Who at school are you comfortable talking to when you have conflict with the above-mentioned people?”
o “Would you be comfortable if I help connect you to those people?”
“Do you feel safe with that person? What is keeping you in this relationship?”
o “What are three things that are positive about this relationship?”
“You know you should never feel pressured to do anything you don't want to do in a healthy relationship, right?”
“Do you have outside help to support you and your partner especially during conflict times?”
o “Can I provide you with outside/internal support?”
“What does a healthy relationship look like, feel like, sound like, to you? Do you feel like your current relationship meets these expectations?”
“How has Covid affected your relationships?”
“If you just got out of an argument with ______ what kind of healthy coping skills do you use? Where can you go? Who can you turn to that is safe?”
“If it is after hours and you need support during a conflict with _______ do you know resources available and how to access them?”
YOU CAN make it more personal if you know specifics: i.e., “how it is going with ________ (if you know the student’s partners/parents/friends name……)”
“How is your relationship impacting school (both positively and negatively)?”
“Who are healthy role models in your life who represent healthy relationships? (KNOW YOUR STUDENT THIS COULD BE TRIGGERING) What about their relationship is healthy to you?