💞 Admire the One You Married: Why Love Needs More Than Just Words

Love doesn’t die overnight — it fades slowly when admiration is lost, and bitterness quietly takes its place. In the beginning, admiration often starts with the surface — a person’s looks, style, or charm. But as relationships grow, true admiration should shift from the exterior to the interior: their heart, their values, their effort, and their presence.

Yet, many couples stop admiring each other after the honeymoon phase ends. And that’s where the problem begins.

💔 What Happens When Admiration Fades

As a counselor, I’ve had countless sessions with people who’ve cheated on their partners. And nearly every story had one thing in common:

They didn’t feel loved, valued, or admired by their spouse anymore.

• They felt neglected.
  
  

• They felt unseen.
  
  

• They felt like roommates, not lovers.
  
  

• They felt unimportant, and the respect was gone.
  
  

And it’s not always about material needs. I've met women married to wealthy men who provide everything financially — but still feel emotionally starved. Why? Because money can't speak — admiration does.

🌹 Every Woman Desires to Be Admired

When a woman dresses beautifully, she’s not just putting on clothes — she’s expressing her identity and silently asking, “Do you see me?”

If her partner doesn’t notice, it can feel like rejection. Questions begin to creep in:
Am I no longer beautiful? Am I not good enough? Am I being ignored?

But one compliment can change her entire day. A few sincere words can keep her heart anchored at home. If she doesn’t feel admired, someone else might offer that admiration — and that’s a risk no relationship should take.

💬 Men Need It Too

Ladies, your man needs admiration just as much. Compliment his efforts, appreciate his hard work, respect his leadership, and speak life into him. Your admiration builds his confidence more than you know.

💡 How to Keep Admiration Alive in Marriage

1. Compliment Often

Everyone loves to feel noticed. Say things like:

• “Thank you, darling.”
  
  

• “You look amazing today.”
  
  

• “I’m proud of you.”
  
  

• “I appreciate how hard you work for us.”
  
  

Small compliments carry big weight.

2. Give Undivided Attention

Ask how their day went — and really listen. Be present, not just physically, but emotionally. Many women enter marriage expecting companionship, only to still feel lonely. Don't let your spouse compete for your attention.

3. Respect Is Mutual

Respect is not demanded — it’s earned and reciprocated. If you want to be respected, start by showing it. Honour your spouse in private and in public.

4. Use Sweet Words Regularly

Words can build or break a heart. Use them wisely. If you don’t speak lovingly to your spouse, someone else might — and that’s a door you never want to open.

💍 Don’t Marry the Admiration — Admire the Married

It’s easy to chase what looks good. But real love is choosing to see, value, and cherish the one you’ve already chosen — every single day.

If you don’t admire the person you once pursued, someone else will. And if you’re not careful, they might slip out of your hands — not because they wanted to leave, but because they no longer felt seen.

Let admiration be the oxygen that keeps your love alive.

🏠 A Wise Woman Builds Her Home

“A wise woman builds her home, but a foolish one tears it down with her own hands.” — Proverbs 14:1

As women, we carry an incredible power — not just to nurture life but to build homes, raise generations, and sustain peace. The strength of a family often lies in the heart of the woman. So the question is: How well are you building yours?

🌟 The Role of a Woman in the Home

Life gets busy — careers, businesses, parenting, and the daily stress that comes with it. And yet, after all that, a woman returns home to play her most vital role — the heartbeat of the house.

Let’s take a closer look at what it truly means to be a builder of your home:

💗 Women spell MOTHER, not MURDER

Being a mother is more than biology — it’s a calling. A mother nurtures, protects, and sacrifices. Sadly, many homes have been destroyed not by enemies, but by attitudes, misconduct, and neglect.

You can either mother your home with love, patience, and care — or murder it with anger, disrespect, and unforgiveness.

🤝 Women spell HELPMATE, not HEADMATE

Your role is not to compete with your husband, but to complement him. You’re called to be a support system, not a rival.

Men may lack patience, structure, or organization — that’s where a woman’s strength shines. You help bring balance, peace, and vision to the family.

Being a helpmate doesn’t mean being weak; it means you are powerful enough to lead without overpowering, to guide without controlling, and to love without conditions.

☮️ Women spell COMFORT, not WAR FRONT

Men crave peace. After long, stressful days, they don’t want to return to a battlefield — they want to come home to comfort, understanding, and love.

Be that safe place your husband longs for. Greet him with joy. Be his peace.

😊 Women are known for JOYFUL SMILES

Your smile sets the tone of the home. Even when things aren’t perfect, your joy can become the fuel that lifts the whole house.

Stay joyful, stay radiant — your light is needed.

💞 Women are known for FORGIVENESS

To build a lasting home, you must be ready to forgive. Not once. Not twice. But over and over again.

Avoid dragging past issues into present conversations. Let go. Forgiveness is healing — for both you and your home.

❤️ Love at First Sat vs. Love at First Sight

Love at first sight might give you butterflies — but butterflies fade. Looks change. Beauty fades. But character lasts.

Instead of “falling” in love by what you see, sit down and reason through what you truly need in a life partner. That’s love at first sat.

Ask yourself:

• Can I live with this person forever?
  
  

• Do our values align?
  
  

• Is this true connection, or just physical attraction?
  
  

Feelings are like the weather — hot today, cold tomorrow. Build your love on purpose, not just passion.

🛑 Be Careful What You're Falling For

Don’t enter a relationship just for:

• 💋 Sex — it fades.
  
  

• 💄 Beauty — it changes.
  
  

• 💰 Wealth — it comes and goes.
  
  

Instead, build on:

• 🤝 Character
  
  

• 🧠 Understanding
  
  

• 💬 Communication
  
  

• 🛐 Faith
  
  

Love is not about finding the perfect person, but loving the imperfect person perfectly.

🙏 Final Thoughts

Dear woman, God has given you the power to build. Choose to mother your marriage. Be a helpmate, not a rival. Be a comforter, not a combatant. Smile, forgive, love deeply.

And for those still waiting on love — may God lead you to your perfect match, in Jesus' name. Amen.

💘 Love at First Sight vs. Love at First Sit-Down

“Love at first sight is good… but love at first sit is better.”

In today’s world, many people jump into relationships based on what they see on the outside — beauty, body, charm, or style. But here’s the truth: looks fade, and feelings change. If your love is only skin-deep, it may not last the storms of life.

💡 What is Love at First Sit?

Love at first sit means taking time to sit down and think before diving into a relationship. Ask yourself:

• Can I spend the rest of my life with this person?
  
  

• Do we share the same values and goals?
  
  

• Can we grow together through life’s challenges?
  
  

Before falling in love, pause and examine your heart. Feelings are like weather — warm today, cold tomorrow. One day you feel in love, the next day you don’t. That’s why relationships built on emotion alone rarely stand the test of time.

❌ The Problem with Shallow Love

Too many people get into relationships because of:

• Sexual attraction
  
  

• Physical appearance
  
  

• Material gain
  
  

But what happens when beauty fades, or when the money runs out? Will you leave and look for someone else?

Many move from one partner to another, searching for satisfaction they never find — because true love isn’t about what you can get, it’s about what you’re willing to give.

✅ The Power of Lasting Love

It’s okay to be attracted to someone — but don’t stop there. Ask deeper questions:

• Does this person respect me?
  
  

• Can they be a life partner, not just a date?
  
  

• Will they stand with me when things get tough?
  
  

Love is more than emotion — it’s a decision. And good decisions take time, honesty, and self-awareness.

💬 Final Thoughts

Falling in love is easy. Staying in love takes work. So before you fall, make sure you're falling into something real — not just what feels right in the moment.

Don’t chase love at first sight. Choose love that lasts beyond sight.
Choose love at first sit-down — the kind of love that listens, learns, and lasts.

Thanks for reading! Stay tuned for the next blog