As I fall towards desperation, I finally did what I had to do. Before it’s too late.

With tears in my eyes, I finally went on to write my resignation letter.

Following its submission to my team leader through email, that next shift, I was asked by our operation manager if I was sure with my decision.

And I can never be more sure than this. With everything that happened lately, I had been longing to leave not only this company I had been with for almost a year, but the industry as well. I can say that it was one of my goals before that day - to leave the industry I never really wanted to be in the first place and move to another, one that is more in line with what I actually want and can do.

But leaving the company is not gonna happen instantly. I had to spend the next 30 days rendering before I leave. That’s 30 days of enduring every pain I had until my last day - but thankfully, that time frame was reduced to half. I applied for a terminal leave as I was about to go to the province for the rest of the month.

During these last days, I grew more and more afraid of being recognized by people. Suddenly, while on my way to my locker, someone noticed me.

I cannot tell you exactly what happened, but..

I felt relieved.

This is only the first time when I felt that someone believed in me.

From there, I started to write everything I experienced in a journal I received as a prize ordering 18 cups of coffees during the Christmas season of 2022. I went on to write how I feel about anything. It was how I cope with all the struggles I encountered in my day at this time, especially in work.

But this year was different. For the first time, I started to have a conversation with my future self. Someone I expected to become more successful than I was back in May 2023.

I wondered who she is.

I wanted to meet her.