A conflict resolution process:
- Be prepared; visualize a successful, calm conversation
- Take ownership for your own reactions and feelings
- Don’t wait; don’t let the issue escalate
- Set the scene:
- find a private, neutral place;
- sit next to the person rather than talking over a desk – this helps to eliminate physical and emotional barriers to communication
- Be aware of body language; you communicate without saying a word!
- Maintain eye contact, relax your neck and shoulders;
- Don’t cross your arms;
- Keep your tone neutral and avoid absolutes like “never” and “always”
- Gather information:
- Get to the underlying concerns;
- Respect the other viewpoint;
- Understand the conflict objectively;
- Is it affecting job performance?
- Damaging customer service?
- Disrupting teamwork?
- Focus on work issues and leave personalities out of the discussion
- Listen with empathy; see the conflict from the other point of view
- Identify issues clearly and concisely
- Use “I” statements (i.e. “I feel frustrated when other employees are affected by your tardiness/absences.”)
- Remain flexible
- Clarify feelings
- Agree to the issue at hand;
- Reach a common perception of the problem;
- Restate it clearly and concisely
- Ask the other person how they feel about it, and listen to their answer
- f you can’t agree to the nature of the challenge, recognize the other point of view
- Brainstorm possible solutions – be open to all ideas…especially those you have never considered
- Use active listening skills to ensure you hear and understand the others’ positions and perceptions
- Restate
- Paraphrase
- Summarize
- Check company policies and/or legal requirements
- Negotiate a solution; remember, sometimes you won’t please everyone but always be calm, be patient, and have respect
- Select the solution that best addresses the needs
- Express confidence that the solution will work
- Plan the details
- What commitments are we making?
- Who is responsible for what action?
- Implement the solution
- Evaluate the results
- Make adjustments if necessary
- To recap:
- What is the specific conflict?
- Who are the people involved?
- What is our plan of action?
- How will it be implemented?
- What are the results we expect?
- Who is accountable for implementation and results?
Conflict is destructive when:
- One person has to give in too much (win-lose)
- The dispute hurts a relationship
- There is no agreement reached
- There are uncontrolled emotions, anger, and raised voices
- The conflict prevents or stops people from working
Conflict is constructive when:
- It leads to resolution
- Builds strong relationships with improved communication
- Opens people up to new ideas
- Leads to a win-win resolution
- Develops common goals
- Clarifies a problem situation and leads to positive change
Always date your documentation
Follow through
Keep your word!