When you read the comments on social media, or watch parents during a Little League game, it seems that rudeness and incivility is everywhere, including the workplace.
Bickering employees, screaming managers, coworkers who never respond to emails, or send texts while you're talking to them… all these people seem to have forgotten the basic rules of courtesy and respect.
Offensive behavior among colleagues carries a high price, because civility at work means more than just good manners. Respectful treatment creates the foundation for cooperation between individuals and collaboration among departments. When people are rude and disrespectful to one another, they are much less likely to share information, contribute helpful suggestions, or offer assistance with problems.
Learning to recognize negativity before you become a part of it can have a big effect on your own outcomes. It’s easy to recognize negativity in others and criticize them, but it can be quite a challenge to see it in ourselves. Negative attitudes can quickly bring others down with them.
There are two ways to manage difficult people. One is to attempt to decrease their difficult behavior. The other is to increase the behavior we approve of. We do the former most often – we notice and criticize shortcomings – we catch others doing something wrong. Too often we overlook the attributes that we should appreciate and the behaviors we should encourage. People respond better to praise than to criticism; notice and recognize the things that people do well.
If you are dealing with negativity in the workplace, whether with your employees or your colleagues, try to remain positive and be an inspiration for others. The more they are around you the more positive energy they will pick up.
For those individuals that seem to be in a perpetual bad mood, treat them with kindness. Always greet them with a smile, and do what you can to find out the core issue. Don’t press them to disclose personal information, but be open to listening and offering your support if needed.
Some people are constantly complaining: “I hate this place.” “It will never work.” “Why do we have to do this?” Be careful not to get caught up in this type of negativity. Focus on the positive; think of three things each day that are going well. Try to counter each negative comment with a positive one.
We often see people as being difficult because of the way they express themselves: blaming, placating, computing, distracting, and leveling. Our positive expression will offer them a role model to emulate.
You’re working really long hours and feel totally indispensable; you’re exhausted and feeling a little burnt out. Why aren’t you delegating? Are you a perfectionist? Do you feel like you’re the only one who can do the job? That it will be faster and easier if you just do it yourself?
One of the biggest traps a leader can fall into is the one that demands you do it all yourself. Delegation helps you to keep your workload reasonable, and allow you time to focus on the bigger picture. It can be hard to relinquish control over things, but once you start trusting your staff to take on some of your duties the payoff will be great for both of you. Not only will delegation give you more brain space and time to devote to what you do best – visionary thought – but you will also empower your team.
Be thoughtful about what you can hand off; do some self analysis and figure out what tasks are taking up a lot of your time and then ask yourself if those tasks could be handed to someone else. Can someone else do the job just as well, or even better? Could it be done faster? Once you’ve identified things that others can take over for you, choose the best person for the job; consider their ability and willingness to learn, not necessarily the amount of free time they have.
Thinking that you just don’t have time is probably the biggest reason for not delegating. Believe me; finding the time to train someone to take over a few of your tasks will be worth it in the long run. Take time to train your employee on how to complete the job. Give clear assignments and instructions, and set a deadline for completion. Follow up with them to make sure they fully understand the task, and to see if they need more direction. Use your Outlook calendar to schedule reminders if you need to.
Trust the people you delegate to – give them a chance to do the job in their own way. If your employee does the job incorrectly, avoid the temptation to make corrections yourself. It’s important that you go over the issues with them, and help them to make the needed adjustments. But remember – your way is not always the best way! Learn to let go of “how you want things done” and focus on “what you need to be done”.
The aim is not perfection; the aim is to save you time to focus on strategic planning. Remember that it takes time for someone to learn a new task and have patience. Be open and honest with feedback, and be generous with praise. Give credit freely, and acknowledge their hard work. Your kind words and sincere appreciation will help develop your colleague’s self-confidence and efficiency.
Stress isn’t always bad. In small doses, it can help you perform under pressure and motivate you to do your best. But when you’re constantly running in emergency mode, your mind and body pay the price. If you’re living with high levels of stress, you’re putting your entire well-being at risk. Stress wreaks havoc on your emotional equilibrium, as well as your physical health. It narrows your ability to think clearly, function effectively, and enjoy life.
When leaders can’t manage stress or maintain a positive attitude, employees are more likely to see those leaders as irrelevant, either to monitor and coach them, or to ensure organizational cohesion. They are also much less likely to see their teams as effective, to be highly engaged, or to recommend working for the leader and the organization to others.
The first step to managing the level of stress in your life is to be able to recognize when you are stressed and take action right away. Some of the warning signs include feeling physically and mentally exhausted, no matter how much rest you get; suddenly developing acne or other skin conditions; experiencing chronic headaches; and digestive issues. These are not all of the possible cues, and you are the best judge of how you’re feeling – you will know when things are functioning well with you, either physically or mentally.
Work on managing your emotions and do not let things get to you on a personal level. Accept that there are events that you cannot control, and strive to maintain a positive attitude.
Some tips to managing stress at work include using time management skills to your advantage; make a to-do list in order of priority and review and update the list often.
Use your Outlook tools – task manager, calendar, notes, and the journal. Delegate tasks to your staff and trust them to complete them; avoid micromanaging. Make time to walk around and see what employees are doing; take time to talk and ask how things are going. Take breaks – get up from your desk, walk around, go outside for some fresh air.
Develop good habits to help you manage stress in all areas of life. Disconnect from work when you are done working – turn off your cell phone when possible. Enjoy spending time with friends or family doing things you love. Exercise and eat healthy foods most of the time. Get plenty of sleep. Develop a support system; use your trusted friends, family members or colleagues as a sounding board to help you solve problems. And finally, take time to recover – use your vacation time!
We all need to find the right balance in our lives, so that we can be better leaders here at work and enjoy life outside of work.
Effective leaders must have the ability to adjust to changing work environments and demands. They must have resilience so that they can bounce back from tough situations. Flexibility and resilience are critical skills to hone as you continue to advance your leadership competences.
Flexible leaders have the ability to change their plans to match the reality of the situation. As a result, they maintain productivity during transitions or periods of chaos. Leaders skilled at this competency embrace change, are open to new ideas, and can work with a wide spectrum of people. We must learn to treat uncertainty and ambiguity as the new normal. As a leader your flexibility will enable you to demonstrate positive responses to stressful situations and guide your team to embrace change.
Flexibility entails being open to new ideas and concepts, being able to work on an independent basis or with a team as the situation demands, and juggling multiple projects without getting flummoxed when conditions abruptly change.
Resilience is a deep instinct that assures you can bounce back even when faced with the toughest situations. Building resilience helps you meet challenges head on and use them to become a stronger person. The most resilient individuals and teams fail, learn and thrive because of it. Being challenged, sometimes severely, is part of what activates resilience as a skill set.
Many factors contribute to becoming resilient, including maintaining a positive attitude, the ability to stay balanced and manage strong or difficult emotions, having a good support system, and taking care of yourself. Being flexible and keeping an adequate work/life balance is a key component in taking care of yourself.
Anybody can learn to be more emotionally flexible and resilient. How we approach life is key to building these skills. Following are some ideas:
1. Treat problems as a learning process.
2. Avoid making a drama out of a crisis.
3. Celebrate your successes.
4. Develop realistic life goals for guidance and sense of purpose.
5. Cherish social support and interaction.
6. Take positive action.
7. Nurture a positive view of yourself.
8. Practice optimism.
Maintaining emotional flexibility and a balanced life can help you to become more resilient, but building up your resilience can help you maintain a more flexible mental outlook and life balance. The two go hand-in-hand.
Keep your thoughts positive because your thoughts become your words. Keep your words positive because your words become your behavior. Keep your behavior positive because your behavior becomes your habits. Keep your habits positive because your habits become your values. Keep your values positive because your values become your destiny. ~ Mahatma Gandhi ~
Positivity increases our ability to think creatively, to progress in our careers, to cope with challenges, and to work with other people. Positive emotions can make us more creative and flexible over time. Research shows that positivity can make a real difference to our success and well-being.
Have you ever noticed that a loss, or perceived failure, seems to stick in our minds much longer than success? Our brain reacts more strongly to stimuli it deems negative, and once we have that negative thought it is mentally harder for people to turn those thoughts around and focus on the positive. The good news is that you can train your mind to do this better.
There are ways to train your brain to be more positive:
· Think of three things that you are grateful for each day
· Journaling
· Exercise
· Meditation
· Random acts of kindness
By having a more positive outlook we will create “ripples of positivity” – it’s contagious! Others will see and emulate your good humor.
Become a positive leader. Give your team clear goals and objectives to reach their goals. Communicate effectively and build trust. Focus on the good things you see your employees doing. Great bosses pause frequently to praise others and promote the positive, rather than harping on shortcomings and mistakes. It’s always easier to follow someone with a positive outlook. The simple truth is that you need to accomplish your work through your employees; having a positive outlook will go a long way in getting people to want to do their best for you.
Model the behavior you want to see – if you are a positive person your employees will likely emulate you! Make sure you don’t lose sight of positive contributions because you are focused on the negative.
What happened today that was good?