Student Body Campaigns Begin to Heat Up

As the end of the school year approaches, some MC juniors have decided to run for the title of Student Body President. Since the advent of COVID, the elections haven’t meant much for the school. However, this year all of the candidates are looking to step it up a notch, and have even found running mates to simulate a real election.

Comrade Christos Dimas ‘25 was one of the first to express his interest in running for the office. When asked about his goals, he simply said that he would “change this school.” No further questions were allowed. His running mate, Marty Mann ‘25, was also very interested in keeping their plans secret.

However, from a leak within their organization, a series of two Five-Month Plans were revealed. Beginning in August, they would call for the eventual shut down of dress down days and other spirit activities, as well as instituting a mandatory Studium donation every week to raise money for a new football field. Those that didn’t meet their donation quota would be sent to the basement for reeducation. Needless to say, the students who participate in Caravan Tough wholeheartedly agreed with these dictatorial measures and pledged their votes immediately after hearing about his plans of indentured servitude. 

While dress down days would be a thing of the past, mandatory “Fun Days” would take their place, with games such as: Who Can Clean The Most Garbage From the Commons?, How Many Subversives Can You Report to The Administration?, and Dodgeball. And the winners of these games would receive great prizes like a 10-cent discount on the Chicken Tenders in the lunch line, and even free toilet paper in the restrooms. 

Not everyone is a fan of those plans, though. 

Ryan Clark is running with Blane Bertalmio on the platform of better treatment for athletes. Because of Clark’s past as an athletic trainer, he strongly believes in a system of government preferential to athletes and their schedules. Many students are held back due to their grades and would be able to excel even more on the field if they didn’t have to worry about their schoolwork. Much of their campaign consists of telling students that they will not have to worry about homework, but the moderator for the Student Council, Mr. Brooks Nevrly, says that candidates can’t promise anything outrageous to students just to get votes. 

Endorsements have also become a large part of the campaign, with candidate Conor McClelland and his running mate Seth Mendoza receiving the verbal and written endorsements of many students. While touring Studiums, they often ask one of the more popular students to publicly confirm their votes for them. Students like varsity quarterback Jack Elliot ‘25 or recent graduate Darrion Dupree, who technically is not eligible to vote in this election,were important to get early on as a “political ally” in order to gain votes from underclassmen who worship good athletes. 

Popular students weren’t the only ones used as endorsements, however. Many students have been reaching out to famous athletes, political leaders, and even TikTok stars to gain attention. Clark was able to get a video of popular basketball player LeBron James expressing his backing for the potential Clark-Bertalmio presidency and their promise of Taco Tuesdays in the Commons, and Dimas was able to get pictures with certain powerful foreign dignitaries , which put his popularity ratings through the roof, especially among the bots on social media. 

Bribery is also not out of the question for these candidates. Aiden Correa ‘25 and his running mate Bryce Mason ‘26 have decided to give donuts to anyone who sends them video evidence of voting for them as well as paying their endorsements with cookies from the lunch line. 

These students are all dedicated to the improvement of their school, and the future looks bright. Let’s just hope their efforts aren’t in vain.