Student body uprising

Many students have been fighting against the government regimes that have taken over the school. From rushing the court during spirit week to stealing bathroom doors, there have been many instances of pushback from students to get their oppressive government off their backs. This week, the student body’s uprising reached a crescendo in the development office. After a new tax was imposed by Mr. Tim Baffoe on snacks, fighting was not a question of if but of when.

The self proclaimed “Sensei-Supreme” convinced the student body president, Mr. Louie Chappetto, to begin putting a higher food tax on snacks in the common areas of the school. Initially intended to be for the teachers like Mr. Baffoe and Mr. Mark Antonietti, the president also allowed his lower government officials, such as seniors Angelo Ciaravino and Colin McKeown, to forcibly take as much as 40% from students when they’re eating in public.

Sophomore Kenny Groen, who takes Mr. Baffoe’s Honors English class, was heard saying that he “couldn’t go a class period without having my lunch stolen.” Many of the students who had to walk by his room for classes in the Student Center or INCubator lab had their lunches taxed. Mr. Baffoe responded to the complaints by saying that the hallway outside of his room was a toll road. 

Mr. Noel Bax, one of the guerilla leaders of the uprising, began bringing some of the hungry juniors and underclassmen into the Admissions office and sneaking them apple fritters–his recent fritter reviews becoming a silent campaign against the new dictatorial rules. Mr. Jeff Stur, Director of Enrollment, had also canceled all shadow visits until the rebellion began to die down. This put a lot of pressure on the administration to try and resolve the conflict. 

Mr. Henry, when asked about his involvement, simply said that he owed it to his kids. “If they hadn’t made teaching Health last year so fun, I wouldn’t have quit as the trainer,” said Mr. Henry “They treated me with a lot of respect, so I felt the need to pay it back.”

In the midst of the standoff, students accused Mrs. Julie Chappetto of nepotism, as her son is the Student Council president. They also begged for their true leader, senior Alec Padilla, to take office. Padilla, the senior that many have propped up as their de facto leader, had been slowly working his way through the student body to gain more popularity. Unfortunately, as the year is drawing to a close, he might not see the fruits of his labors.

Brother Pedro, a neutral party between the two sides, intervened soon after the verbal harassment began and stopped the arguments. Both sides have declared a one-week truce, though most do not expect the peace to last beyond that. The student government could possibly see a change in leadership soon if these taxes continue without proper representation.