MC forced to inform most students Santa not real

James McCormac '25

As the Mount Carmel community begins to head into the Christmas break, a shocking truth has been revealed to the student body. “I didn't know how to break it to them,” said Mr. Scott Tabernacki, school principal. “I can't believe ninety percent of MC students didn't know that Santa was not real.”

The staff and administration held an emergency meeting just last Wednesday once they realized how big of a problem this was going to be. After all, it would look terrible on MC if nearly all of their students had a childlike view of Christmas. “I knew something had to be done,” said Mr. Scheuring. “If this gets out to prospective students and parents, then enrollment will surely drop by a lot. The school can't afford this.”

Administration then decided that they needed to put together a way for MC students to figure out the truth. In order to save the future student body it simply needed to be done. “I was terribly worried,” said Mr. Jeff Stur, Director of Enrollment Marketing and Management. “Not only could this affect the future of Mount Carmel, but my job is at stake here as well.”

There are multiple things to be considered when breaking the news to a child that Santa is not real. The first is how to keep the Christmas spirit alive at MC while simultaneously destroying the magic of Santa. “I proposed we just rip the bandage off fast,” said head varsity football coach Jordan Lynch, who is also quarterback Jack Elliott’s adoptive father. “I can’t have my players focusing on this when we have our definitely-not-mandatory offseason workouts going on.”

Eventually after a suggestion from Video Media teacher and lacrosse and swim coach Mr. Matthew McGuire, it was decided that the MC peer leaders would have to let the freshman know via text message first as a test run. The peer leaders were given their respective freshmen phone numbers, though most freshmen blocked the peer leaders following the first supportive text of the school year. Seeing as the peer leaders are the most responsible of all MC students, they already knew that Santa was not real.

“It was fairly obvious to me,” said junior Connor McClelland, a.k.a. CMC, one of the new peer leaders. “I thought everyone knew that Santa was a myth and that whenever they did something that indicated they didn't it was a joke. Are you saying they actually don't know?”

Each peer leader was given a few freshmen to mentor as a part of the program at the beginning of the year, and the administration figured that the close bonds would help when breaking the news. “Dude, I haven't even texted any of these guys once,” said Leonard Siegal. “How am I supposed to tell them that Santa isn't real?”

After a tearful yet successful trial run that included multiple parents being called to pick up inconsolable freshman and junior Matt Mucha, the rest of the MC student body was informed through the peer leaders. “I couldn't believe it,” said junior Bruno Kolom. “It's crazy to think that my parents were the ones putting the presents under the tree the whole time.”

Some students are still in denial and refuse to accept the possibility of them being fooled for the past fourteen to eighteen years of their life. “I know he’s real,” said sophomore Noah Mister. “I swear I even saw him once while I was laying out the cookies and milk.”

All rest assured, though. Now that, for the most part, the MC student body is aware of the reality of Christmas there will be no drop in incoming freshmen.

Page updated

Google Sites

Report abuse