After the return from Thanksgiving break students in Mr. David Glonek’s science classes noticed something different in his room. The fish tank which has long contained algae but no other life forms, had been unusually stirring. 

Freshman Jake Toman was brave enough to stick his hand and take some of this green substance out and made a discovery. “The tank is filled with creatures I was able to take a little bit of whatever it was and I found that there are small grinches in the tank,” said Jake Toman 

The FBI’s forensics experts confronted Mr. Glonek about this ground breaking discovery. 

“Well you got me,” said Glonek when confronted while he was on his way to his car. “I am trying to raise a Grinch army to steal Christmas. However, my initial plan did not work out. I was originally trying to make an army to take down the Christmas decorations that are put up before Thanksgiving. But they were not growing fast enough, so I resorted to feeding them the green dye that was in my beard, but by the time they could lift objects it was too late. Now I plan to sell them to parents or teachers as a way to report on the behavior of their children or students.”

Glonek’s new side hustle has seen great success. Next year he plans to expand his service outside the Chicagoland area. There has been great interest from Amazon in buying these creatures for use in warehouses. Mr. Glonek has exchanged some of these creatures to the Joliet slammers as intelligence gatherers in return for season tickets. 

“I love these things, I now know both how my kids are acting while I am not home. and the little grinches even gave me advice on what to get them for Christmas.” said Ms. Erin Cronin. 

“I have trained these things to learn grammar and now they sit in my classroom making sure everyone has absolutely perfect grammar.” Mr. Baffoe said when asked about the creatures. The Merchant has also found use for these creatures, having them do peer reviews of articles when the writers forget.

The Mount Carmel community is now worried about decorating for the holidays in case Mr. Glonek’s creatures “go rogue,” but Mr. Glonek assures them in the future that as long as they wait to decorate until after Thanksgiving they will be fine. However St. Rita, Brother Rice, and Marist report that their decorations are suspiciously missing.