TEACH YOUR CHILD ABOUT STRANGERS
It is a traditional practice in our community to tell our little children never speak to strangers. There are ways to teach our small kids about strangers in a way to help them understand about the potential dangers of talking to strangers. When you talk to your kids about strangers, we must apply them in the correct balance. Blogger Jocelyn Wiener points out some great advise on how parents can talk to their children about strangers in a healthy way.
1. Choose your words with care.
Experts recommend that it’s best not to generally say “stranger”. Instead, try using the term “tricky people”. This is suggested by Pattie Fitzgerald, the founder of a child-safety organization called Safely Ever After, Inc. “Tricky people” are grown-ups—someone we do not know or know who will try to trick children into breaking the rules of safety.
The term is especially important because young children implicitly trust kind grown-ups, Fitzgerald says. “The strangers we’re all so afraid of, are not going to be scary stranger like we usually imagine them to be,” she says. “They’re going to be friendly and charming; they’re going to have a toy, candy, or a puppy.” For the purposes of our presentation, we can refer to them as "Tricky Strangers".
A couple of years ago, Joey Salads, a YouTube star known for his pranks and social experiments, decided to show how easy it would be to abduct a child using an ice-cream truck. After getting their parents’ permission, he invited several children to climb into his truck for free ice cream. As the parents watched, almost all of the kids did so without any hesitation. To make sure your kids know the right thing to do, go over specific scenarios.
This is recommended by Betsy Brown Braun, a child-development and behavior specialist and author of Just Tell Me What to Say. Pose questions like: “What if a grown-up offered you candy? What if a grown-up asked you to help him or her find a lost puppy?” See how he or she answers. Then explain, “Just like you don’t pet a dog you don’t know, you don’t talk to people you don’t know when you’re not with me or Daddy or another adult you trust.”
Betsy also advised that if your child wonders why she can not take the candy or search for the puppy, stay away from comments like, “Somebody might try to take you.” Instead, you could say: “While most people are good, there are some people who are not safe and do not keep kids safe.” Instill a blanket rule that your children should never go anywhere, with anyone, without asking for permission from their parents.
2. Plan ahead.
For the kindergarten-aged kids, safety rules are best learned through muscle memory. Physically act out different scenarios with your child to help them stick. This is suggested by Sherryll Kraizer, Ph.D., founder and director of the Coalition for Children in Denver and author of The Safe Child Book. When you do this role-playing, do your best to keep it low-key and fun. “Because parents know what’s at stake, they can often over react and come across too serious, than what is good for their children,” says Dr. Kraizer.
Sometimes, of course, kids will need to turn to good strangers for help. So it’s useful to go over rules for those kinds of situations too. Tell your children that if he or she ever gets separated from you in public, he or she should look first for an employee such as a cashier in a store. Teach your kids that there are good strangers that will help them when they are in trouble.
Teach them what an employee in a store looks or a security guard in a business area looks like. Teach your kids that they can turn to first responders for help. Teach them to know what a Police Officer, Firefighter, or a paramedic looks like. If that’s not possible, teach your children to look for another parent with children for help.
3. Teach your children to trust their instincts and recognize red flags.
You should also teach your children to trust in his or her instincts. Teach your children that instincts is that “uh-oh” feeling that feels like a butterfly in their stomach that something is wrong. You can also teach your child that the “oh-uh” feeling is called also called a red flag- that something is wrong with the person. That’s not only with strangers but also with people who he or she knows that might try to trick you children into breaking rules since most sexual abuse of children is done by an adult whom a child already knows.
An example is from Amber Ledergerber. A second-grade teacher in Rancho Santa Margarita, California, tells her 5-year-old son and his big sister: “If you start feeling weird in your stomach, you should listen to it. Get away from whoever is making you feel that way and tell an adult you trust right away.” She also keeps a list of family rules posted on her refrigerator, including Rule #8: “We don’t keep secrets in our family. If someone tells you to keep a secret, tell an adult.”
We at the Reno-Sparks Indian Colony Police Department stress the importance of the dangers of being tricked by strangers.
Teach your children to follow these simple rules when they recognize the butterflies in their stomach or red flags that if a stranger tries to trick them into breaking rules such as to go with the stranger or accept free gifts from strangers without the parents presence and permission. Teach your child to 1) Run, 2) and tell.
Teach your children to run. This gets your child away from the stranger's reach as quickly as possible. Then tell their parents or a trusted adult of what happened. Your child will probably be scared and overwhelmed. So teach them to calm down and stay calm. Their reaction will reflect on your demeanor as the parent. Teach your child a systematic way of how he or she can tell you their story of what happened.
Help your child process their words and paint the picture in order how the event. Asking a child what happened can be overwhelming and challenging. Take your time and simplify your questions in order such as - What did the stranger say or try to do? Where did the stranger talk to you?
Is the stranger a man or a woman? Is the stranger tall or short? Light complected or dark complected? Skinny or fat? Color of shirt? Color of pants? What car was the stranger in?
Praise your child for knowing the right thing and reassure that this is not their fault. Lowering their anxiety about reporting such incidents can help greatly in their memory in describing the incident as accurately as possible.
Reassure your kids that their wishes are important, no matter whom they’re talking to. As children, we have been taught to be well-mannered as children and obey adults, whether or not they know them. We have been taught that if someone asks for a hug, a child is required to give that person a hug.
Tell your kids that it is alright not to feel comfortable even if the adult asks. In those cases, you can speak to your kids to tell you what they feel, even if it means saying no to an adult. It’s always better to deal with a little awkwardness from the offended grown-up, if it means that your children will be empowered to protect themselves when the situation dictates.
Your involvement in this matter is very much appreciated. It is the unrelentless mission of the Reno-Sparks Indian Colony Police Department to continually explore solutions, deter violence, stop crimes, increase community involvement, and respond to the community’s needs to improve the safety, welfare, and the quality of life in the Reno Sparks Indian Colony community.
IN CASES OF EMERGENCY, PLEASE DIAL 911.
We must stress the importance of calling 911. A 911 dispatcher will send an officer to the address of the emergency; they will also ask questions to assist the officer prior to arrival. The dispatcher may also contact other services that are needed such as medical assistance, fire assistance, or additional police personnel.
Non-emergency dispatch number:
(775)323-2677
Please call this number if you have a non-emergency need to speak to an officer or non-emergency officer assistance.
RSIC TRIBAL POLICE BUSINESS OFFICE
(775)785-8776
This number is to be used to conduct administrative business with the police department, such as leaving messages for police staff, information requests, general questions, or other police business related matters. The police administrative office is open Monday through Friday from 8:00am to 5:00pm.
HUNGRY VALLEY SUB-STATION.
(775)785-1365
This number is to be used to conduct administrative business with the police department, such as leaving messages for police staff, information requests, general questions, or other police business related matters. Officers use the sub-station for briefings, writing reports and telephone calls.
PARA EMERGENCIA, LLAMA 911 PARA LA OFICINA, LLAMA (775)785-8776