In 2014, Romeo was interviewed by a friend and mentor, Ann Burnworth of Youth Resources of Southwestern Indiana, about their experiences growing up, their resiliency, and the role supportive adults and community played in their future choices. Please excuse any misuse of language or improper terms, as they were a young student in high school at the time! See the full article below.

Michael Ungar, author of several adolescent development books and co-director of the Resilience Research Centre at Dalhousie University in Canada, said by email that his research and clinical practice taught him that when young people face many risks, they still survive “not just because of their inner qualities, but just as much because of the service providers young people encounter along the way. In other words, resilience isn’t something young people create alone. It’s something facilitated by their communities, families, and schools.”

Ungar said that nurture trumps nature when explaining why many youth do well despite having many odds stacked against them in their environments. Many agencies are available to help at-risk youth, but Ungar says that more intervention is not always better. While at-risk students develop thick case files as they maneuver through child welfare, special education, and criminal justice systems – what children reported was most helpful to their success was being involved in one agency over time, and/or with at least one healthy adult relationship outside the home, nurturing the child over time as well. 

Romeo Perez, a junior at Castle High School, is a fantastic youth staff leader and mentor in YR’s TEENPOWER leadership and prevention program. Romeo is one of the most resilient young people we know. He is a kind, honest, humble, quiet leader that students and adults respect – and he has a “BRING IT, LIFE!” attitude. He does not let anyone or anything deter him from his goals. Romeo has also experienced healthy, nurturing adult relationships over time.

Romeo’s family has moved many times and he has numerous other obstacles he has overcome by being resilient.

“I grew up in a bunch of different places in Michigan - the ghetto, trailer parks and cheap apartments. Living in rough places just became my normal. As a low-income family, that's all we've been able to afford.

“We grew up with my mother and several of her different boyfriends over the span of the last 17 years. Three of us boys have different dads and the youngest two have the same dad, though none of our fathers stuck around very long. The exception to that is when my middle brother's dad gets out of prison and usually finds his way back into our lives. That never lasts and he returns to prison, normally on counts of abuse toward my mom, drugs and theft. He, alone, has caused several of our moves.

“In the 8th grade, we were evicted from our house in Clarkston, Mich., and were given 10 days to move out. We immediately started packing and made the decision to move the night before we left. When freshman year came around, I enrolled at Castle and spent almost the entire year with only one to four friends that I talked to. They were all I had, given that I didn't know any of my family down here.”

To all of us who know and love Romeo, he makes life look easy, though it has been anything but easy. Romeo said, “Not only did my family have to deal with drama, moving, drugs, abuse, eviction, etc., but we were all strained as a family. Not a whole lot has changed with that.

“On New Year’s of my freshman year, I told one of my best friends in Michigan that I was gay. That was one of the hardest things I have ever done. Little did I know the challenges that come with ‘coming out’ here… it seems like people in Southern Indiana fear things they do not understand… things that make them seem uncomfortable and closed-minded.

“As I slowly battled with making friends and finding the comfort to also tell friends about my orientation, which came much later, I struggled with self-image problems. I felt so lonely and the only thing I had to look to was the hope that I would graduate from high school with outstanding grades, be offered scholarships, and get a higher education to break the chain of my family’s history. School was my only escape. And it wasn't – isn't – easy at all. When all the things in your life point toward delinquency, drugs, violence and failure, how do you break that? 

“To this day, I know that education is a catalyst for success. Being a leader, setting examples and breaking the ‘chain’ is my ultimate goal. I want to be an inspiration, a source of strength and support, a role model, and give hope. I want people to know that they decide their futures. It isn't easy, by any means, but it's possible.

“While struggling with all these problems, I now face other people’s homophobia and ignorance. Every day peers bring me down, be it by words or by actions, they show their dislike of me. And every day, I walk past them, proud of who I am. Their opinions become irrelevant. All that matters is how I see myself: Strong, supportive, educated, tolerant and a LEADER. 

“Resiliency is not bouncing back from a traumatic experience; it is getting up every day and facing the harsh realities of society. We are all resilient. We all have the capability to create our own happiness – to create our own future. 

“My biggest healthy adult influences have always been my Aunt Heather and Uncle Eric. They have supported me in everything I do, for as long as I can remember. Without their compassion, acceptance and support, I'm not sure where I would be. I may have fallen into the trap that other teenagers in similar situations would have. But I didn't. And I owe those two the world for helping me avoid that.

“For the future, I plan to go to college and pursue a major in psychology, specializing in adolescents, and a minor in Spanish. I plan to continue to serve as a role model for my cousins and my brothers, stressing the importance of education and endurance. I will continue to support the rights and safety of the LGBT community, and hopefully become more active in doing so. I want to help raise mentally healthy children in the world, instilling all the resiliency skills I've learned in life into them – sharing with them my wisdom.” 

When asked how he would pay it forward after college, Romeo said, “As far as giving back, the two most important causes to me are Youth Resources/TEENPOWER and The Human Rights Campaign, plus other associated organizations that fight for my equal rights. I hope to serve as both College Staff and Adult Staff for the TEENPOWER program following my graduation, as well as providing workshops and seminars for the program itself on tolerance, high school endurance, the value of education, self-image, and a plethora of other valuable lessons my life has taught me. With all that TEENPOWER has done for me, I feel obliged to serve such an amazing organization that does so much good for the youth of the area.”

Romeo, we’ll get out of the way now and let you lead.