1.7 Conclusion: "Hath God said...?"

As clearly shown in Part 6, the real reason polygamy is incompatible with Christianity is that Jesus identifies it as sin. Yes, this is different from how God dealt with these relationship arrangments while Israel was under the Old Testament. Nevertheless, JESUS, not the Law of Moses, gets to qualify what is sin and when it comes to adultery, He has raised the bar. This makes following the Lord inconvenient and even painful, not only to concurrent polygamists but also for those who've embraced the more socially acceptable form of adultery, serial polygamy through divorce and remarriage.

That being the case, it cannot have been the God of the Bible who suggested a Christian husband engage in polygamy. So from whence do these ideas derive?

Christian Husband,

Your spiritual encounter, be it a strong impression, a vivid dream, a prophetic word or encouragement from another person, a waking vision, or even a heavenly encounter, is not automatically legitimized as being from our Heavenly Father simply because of its spiritual nature or the depth of feeling it evoked. Many secular and New Age spiritualists claim to have had encounters with angels or aliens whose express message of peace included deliberate denials of the deity of Christ and the tenants of Christianity (Ross, 2016). Both Muhammed, the prophet of Islam, and Joseph Smith, the father of Mormonism, had angelic visitations which were anti-Christ in their nature (Havard, 2020; LDSLiving 2018). Yet these men failed to discern the deceptive tactics of Satan's strategy against them and embraced the heavenly vision as God's truth, leading to the creation of a false religion and pseudo-Christian cult that are leading many people astray to this very day. Interestingly, the so-called sacred writings and earliest teachings of both these religions also endorse polygamy. Is that coincidence? Or does it reveal a demonic predecent for using 'strong delusion' when introducing men to supposedly divine changes of this nature? Does it whisper, like the serpent in the Garden did to Eve, "Hath God really said...?"

Today, if a polygamist Jew, Muslim, or Mormon were to earnestly entreat you to convert to their religion, would you take this as divine directive from the Lord? I should hope not! Nothing about their belief systems reflects the truth of the Word Made Flesh, the Revealer of the Father, Jesus the Anointed Son of God. They are hopelessly confused (Ephesians 4:17), observing lying vanities (Jonah 2:8) and in need of salvation! So why are you then considering that a portion of their fallen thinking might apply to you and your family? The so-called Christian polygamists are no less deceived than the polygamists of other false religions, the source of this message is not the Lord, but the enemy.

1 Corinthians 11:¹³ For such people are false apostles, deceitful workers, masquerading as apostles of Christ. ¹⁴ And no wonder, for Satan himself masquerades as an angel of light. ¹⁵ It is not surprising, then, if his servants also masquerade as servants of righteousness. Their end will be what their actions deserve.

What the Lord Jesus calls sin will never be something that He calls you to embrace. The source of these polygamist desires come from two places: The flesh and the enemy.

The enemy prowls around like a roaring lion seeking those he may devour (1 Peter 5:8) and men and women who are unversed in the truth as laid out at the beginning of this article and in detail in the previous six parts are easy targets. Polygamy damages the first marriage and family internally and it dismantles the integrity of the witness for Christ of the husband in the community, the church, his family, and his workplace. If I were the Enemy, knowing those kinds of returns on my investment of time and spiritual experience designed to get someone to embrace this lifestyle and even believe that God was telling them to do it? -- I would quickly find a believing family whose sexuality has not been submitted to the lordship of Jesus Christ and do whatever it took to sway the husband because it would be well worth the effort in this war. We are in a demon war against the Kingdom of God fought on diverse and unending fronts. The sacrificial love of a Christian husband works to protect his wife and children from the damaging influences of the enemy and establish them on the foundation of Christ. Such a man is called to live in such a way that he is respected in the community and even those who hate the truth of Christ are to find nothing bad to say about him (Titus 2:8). Christian Husband, do not be deceived by satan masquerading as an angel of light nor be dragged away by inordinate affection!

The attachment that a person has to their polygamous adultery partner is an example of what the Bible calls 'inordinate affection'.

"I loved her so much I was afraid to lose her...I lived in fear that one day...she would leave me. I loved her so much that she began to take the place of other things in my life. I was willing to defy my friends and family, go against their wishes, I put their needs and events on hold because SHE came first. I rationalized I could make it up to them after, because I had their love and this was the love I had to work for."

Does this sound like you, deep down? While both a man or a woman may allow themselves to fall victim to this, in the case of the man who desires to legitimize his affair, or begin a new one, by convincing his wife to embrace polygamy, there are often feelings of great need and euphoric love for the other woman. Often, a husband will tell his wife that he has never loved another woman the way he loves this new woman. If the wife is not willing to get on board the husband will feel he is forced to choose the second woman over his wife and even their children because of the force of his "love" for this other person, regardless of the shock and outrage of everyone in his social circle.

Anyone who questions his motives will be pitied because they just don't understand the Word like he now does, and they clearly don't have the connection with God, who is regularly showing him things in the Word to support this and telling him repeatedly that it's okay and will be blessed or even fueling fear by showing him what happens to people who fail to do what He directs them to. The affection for and peace felt when considering being with the other woman far outweighs any other concerns or pain voiced by any members of his family or faith community. In fact, he may even be grieved that those people are so selfish and blind that they cannot see the beauty and blessing of what he's desiring, and he may begin activtely trying to convert them to his cause by using the Bible to show them what he's been shown. He will get defensive the more they resist or the longer it takes for them to see the light, and may blow up in anger and derision if someone tries to bring Scripture to correct how he's behaving or point out how his choices are making his wife and children feel. He will get especially angry at the suggestion that the other woman or her children are not actually a part of his covenant family. Often, he will feel that he is rescuing her and any children from a bad life and doing God's work by saving them by bringing them into his own family. He will feel that, although the relationship may have started as an illicit sin, God Himself is the One who has brought them together. He will view himself as a father figure and protector to her and her children and accuse his parents, in-laws, wife and children of being hypocrital or unloving Christians if they resist welcoming them and agreeing to this arrangement.

Being with the other woman is so valuable to him that if his wife agrees to it, he is willing to leave his job, sell their home, uproot their family and move to a new place that is more welcoming of this lifestyle so she will not feel ashamed and he can be with the other woman freely and openly. Being with the other woman is so important that if it means he has to leave his church or stop going to church altogether, he will. Being with the other woman becomes so vital to his well-being that even if his wife refuses and thus it means he has to leave his children to do so then, although he doesn't want to and he will blame his wife for selfishly forcing him to, he will.

This is not Christ. It is the definition of 'inordinate affection' and we are commanded not to manage it, not to make room for it in our lives or our families, but to put it to death.

"An inordinate affection is an unhealthy and obsessive attachment to a person or thing that manifests through uncontrollable “love”... Colossians 3:5 is a call to make a commitment to go against our earthly nature, and lists this as sexual immorality, impurity, lust, evil desires and greed, which is idolatry. In the King James Version, the word that is used synonymously with evil desire and lust is “inordinate affection”. The word inordinate implies excessive, unnatural without limitation...This--- is abnormal...An inordinate affection promotes isolation and secrecy. People may even say to you that the way you love that person is scary [or hurtful]. We tend to rationalize things away (i.e., no one understands) but...the more you sacrifice to be with this person, to keep her happy and with you, the less honest you can be to yourself about those sacrifices. We also tend to make up excuses for bad behaviour to explain it away, or worse, we cover it up. All of this moves us further away from our families and deeper into an abyss of desire that can never be met.

Here’s the thing about desire- it is always en route, and it never arrives...The clutch of desire is that the more you want to be wanted, the more you are willing to change and give up...Inordinate affections are spirits that are putting your love and adoration in the wrong place" (adapted from source).

If you have read this far then in Jesus' name I know that you cannot escape the conclusion that God is not calling you to this and by the mercy of God you can see that you have been deceived. It is time to repent, Christian Husband. It is time to end any plans for continuing the adulterous relationship, set that woman free to seek her own covenant, and be reconciled to the wife of your youth. Jesus can and will restore your covenant marriage if you will let Him.

What would Jesus do?

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