1.1 The Nature of Christian Service

As strange as it may sound to the unfamiliar, areas in Africa have long endorsed polygamy between those who call Jesus “Lord” and increasingly in the Western world, Europe & the Americas etc., there are reports of undivorced Christian men, even pastors and those in leadership, who claim to have heard from God that they are to take a second woman to be their wife while they are already married to a first woman. Compounding the problem are online organizations who are actively promoting polygamy for the Christian community and lobbying for its decriminalization. In this series, PNM considers their arguments:

Most Christians and atheists alike, upon hearing this question, quickly exclaim, “Of course not!” However, the men who claim such things often define themselves as sincere believers in Jesus Christ, upright men in their community and good husbands and fathers within their covenant first marriage. Such an encounter and a belief-system can understandably be devastating to the first marriage and family and so they know that it is not a decision they enter into lightly. Therefore, the question deserves to be considered with an open mind and a teachable spirit, and given the same gravity and attention to Scriptural detail than any other family- or destiny-threatening decision.

So this Unit represents an intentionally exhaustive look at this question. We will begin by looking at examples in the Word and the implications surrounding this and then, over a series of seven parts, we will build an understanding of the Scriptural response and finally move to the ultimate answer given by the teachings of Jesus Christ Himself.

1.1 The Nature of Christian Service: Is God in the habit of admonishing men to obtain a wife (or two)?

Since 2 Timothy 3:16-17 assures us that “All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness, so that the servant of God may be thoroughly equipped for every good work” the first place to start answering the question of whether God is directing you to take a 2nd wife, is in the Scriptures.

Likewise since it says, “Surely the Sovereign Lord does nothing without revealing his plan to his servants the prophets” (Amos 3:7), we know that the Lord's prophetic purposes for His people started long before you and long before today so it is both reasonable and wisely humble to assume that if He is doing something apparently new in His direction to you as a Christian husband in the modern era, then we will see something of it modelled or foreshadowed from within the volume of Scripture and the history of His past practices and established customs for dealing with His people.

Are there any examples in the Old or the New Testament of a patriarch or biblical figure being directed by God to add a second wife to his already established first marriage?

Let’s consider, in roughly chronological order, a few examples of men in the Bible taking a 2nd wife in concurrent polygamy to see whose idea it was to take that additional wife. I’m going to assume some familiarity with Christian scripture and some ability to research and find biblical texts on your own without needing to provide addresses.

The Torah

Abram & Hagar? Sarai’s idea.
Jacob & Rachel? Jacob’s idea.
Esau & his second wife? Esau’s idea (and both relationships against the wishes of his mother).
Ishmael & his wives? Trick question! Strangely, Hagar obtained only one wife for her son, the ancestor of polygamy-practicing Islam...
Levirite marriage? No explicit mention that the remaining brother is already married, and also precedent in the story of Ruth and Boaz that a “kinsman redeemer” in a similar situation could decline to undertake the marriage and hand that responsibility on to another. (For more about that see here).

The Writings

Elkanah & Peninnah? No mention of God suggesting it, but circumstantial evidence suggests it was Elkanah’s idea so he could produce an heir because Hannah used to be barren before she prayed and God gave her Samuel.
David & any other wife after Michal? David’s consent to surrounding cultural traditions, not God’s idea.
David & Saul’s wives? No indication or requirement that David was expected to or actually had intercourse with the women whose protection and provisional responsibilities he inherited when God wrested the kingdom from Saul and gave it into David’s hands. (For more information on that, see here).
David & Bathsheba? David’s idea.
Solomon & his additional wives? Solomon’s idea, following after his father’s example of lust and cultural conditioning.
Gideon & his wives? Gideon's idea.
Joash & his two wives? Jehoiada the priest's idea, and there is strong circumstantial evidence that this was "polygamy for political gain" to quickly reestablish the line of succession after the murder of everyone else in the ruling family.

The Prophets

Jehovah & Judah? Disobedient Israel’s idea, not God’s idea. However this example fails for several reasons.
- First, Judah is actually a part of Israel and as such the metaphor employed in the two “marriages” is more akin to our modern expression “don’t let your left hand know what your right hand is doing” or Jesus’s older advice “if your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off and enter life maimed rather than be thrown into Hell with a whole body”. No one is there suggesting that the person who possesses two hands is, in fact, two people.
- Second, the spiritual metaphor of marriage cannot be taken literally as advice or counsel from God which extends to a literal and physical human marriage because then God is a sinner and is advising His people to break His own laws, including: Committing incest by marrying one’s daughter; Taking one’s sister as a wife while that sister yet lives (the command against doing this indicates such an addition would clearly not God’s but the husband’s idea); and Committing homosexuality by marrying a bunch of Israeli men and boys in addition to a bunch of Israeli women and children. (For more on this, see here).

The New Testament

What about Jesus telling the parable of the bridegroom and the 10 wise and foolish virgins waiting to be invited to attend the wedding feast? There is strong circumstantial evidence from Jewish wedding traditions that the bride in this parable was not mentioned in the story and these virgins were definitely not brides but were actually the bride’s friends or perhaps her bridesmaids. (For more information on that, see here).
Hypothetical polygamous converts to Christianity in the first century who are not allowed to be deacons or bishops? No mention of God suggesting it, but circumstantial evidence suggests that monogamy is the normative and preferred relationship style and that if these hypothetical people are converts from Judaism or Gentile idolatry they probably weren’t in close communication with the Lord Jesus before that. (For more information on that, see here).

If you’re aware of any examples that were missed which fit the model we’re looking for, please cite them in the comments below!

Yet that’s not to say that we don’t have any examples of God specifically and explicitly directing a spouse to take a marriage partner.

An instance of God specifically and explicitly directing a spouse to take a marriage partner appears to occur much less frequently in the Word than the second polygamous marriages that were all the ideas of humans, rather than God, but examples do exist. Let’s look at some of those examples more closely:

Genesis

God presenting Eve to Adam. (God’s idea. Monogamy).
The servant of the man Israel asking God for His direction and assistance when he was sent to find a wife for Isaac from among the descendants of Abraham. God led him to Rebecca who was therefore His choice for Isaac, the child of promise. (God’s idea. Monogamy).

Hosea

God directing Hosea to take the prostitute Gomer to be his wife. (God’s idea. Monogamy). God even tells Hosea the future and direct him to continue to stay with her even after she leaves him and continues to commit adultery, even though she would get pregnant and he would be required to raise children he wasn’t sure were his because she was literally choosing to earn a living as a whore. Don’t see many people claiming that God told them to do that though, for some reason? =P
- Of further interest in this example is that God specifically says He told Hosea to take this woman to wife as a prophetic picture of Israel’s spiritual adultery against Him and yet God never directed Hosea to take more than one woman as his wife! If there ever was an opportunity for God to use literal polygamy to paint a picture for Him this was it, yet He chose adulterous monogamy to model their marriage relationship.

Luke

God telling Joseph to continue and eventually consummate his betrothal to Mary, after she was found with child by the Holy Ghost. (God’s idea. Monogamy).

1 Corinthians & 1 Timothy

God telling single Christian men (that are not called to celibacy for the Lord) to each have his own wife. (God’s idea. Monogamy).
God telling Christian converts who were already married to an unbeliever to stay in their marriage and not to separate from their spouse because the unbelieving spouse, as well as any children, are sanctified by the presence of the believing spouse. (God’s idea. Monogamy).
God telling Christian widowers that they are free to marry a single person or another widower if they cannot live faithfully in celibacy as long as the person (singular) they marry also belongs to the Lord. (God’s idea. Monogamy).

2 Corinthians, Ephesians & Revelation

God explaining that human, physical marriage is actually a prophetic picture of Christ and the Church and that we, the Church, are betrothed to one (singular) Man as one (singular) virgin Bride of Christ. (God’s idea. Monogamy).

So now that we’ve taken a survey of the biblical examples it’s important to explicitly point out that although there are no Scriptural models of God ever saying to another man in the Bible what you are saying He’s said to you, and although all the examples of God getting involved in the selection or direction of a marriage relationship that are in the Bible are 100% monogamous in nature, yet you are claiming, in all seriousness as a religious man in a covenant marriage, that God has shown you that you are to take another woman as a second wife. Hmmm.

What Underlying Belief System Allows Someone to Honestly Consider that God is Directing them into Polygamy?

In considering or accepting this thought, vision, or suggestion as coming from the Lord Jesus Christ, you reveal an underlying presupposition:

Source: https://theisraelbible.com/bible/proverbs/chapter-18/verse-22

So since “he who finds a wife finds what is good and receives favour from the LORD” (Prov.18:22) just how blessed and to be sought after must it be to have a second wife?

Let’s see what the Word says.

What is the reason God counsels believers to get married?

As a Christian, monogamous marriage is a solution to preventing fornication. Singleness via celibacy is preferred.

God the Holy Spirit, writing through Paul in 1 Corinthians 7, addresses Christians and directs them to enter into monogamous marriage as a solution for preventing fornication (modernly known as ‘sexual immorality’).

The Greek word for fornication here is porneia, a plural noun (see below). A plural number of people are required to be involved in the sin of porneia and in the context of the Spirit’s use in this sentence, Paul is concerned with the potential of porneia entrapping some or all of the whole group of people to whom the Lord’s writing. Of more interest though, is the fact that the nouns referring to people in this sentence are all singular.

1 Corinthians 7:2

Porneia here is a plural noun.

Gyne means "wife" or "woman"

Gyne here is a singular noun.

“Wife” here (as well as "own" and "husband" further down) are singular nouns in these verses. Oddly enough, the Lord doesn’t suggest something that the world (in the past and in these modern days alike) would have suggested as a reasonable, fantastic, and effective solution for curbing the illicit sexual, outside-of-marriage desires of Christian men -- He does NOT suggest that in order to prevent them (plural) from committing fornication each (singular) man should have his own wives(plural).

It appears that the Lord’s solution for a man avoiding porneia is to prevent its occurrence altogether in one of two ways,

1. through a commitment to the Lord that includes singleness and celibacy, OR

2. through the forming of a monogamous marriage covenant which eliminates the threat of a man committing porneia(the sexual sin of a single person, although rarely used to refer to particular sexual sins of the married, such as prostitution). [Note that Paul here automatically infers that the formerly single and now married man will also avoid mochaio (adultery -- the sexual sin of a married person) because the man is assumed to be a Christian].

Singleness via celibacy is actually the preferred state of a believer according to Jesus and the state to which we are most often counselled to aspire if at all possible. When Jesus’s disciples objected to the seeming harshness of His newly revealed moral stance on divorce and remarriage, for example, they exclaimed, “If the case of the man be so with his wife, it is not good to marry!” (Matthew 19:10) To which Jesus replies, “That’s right” and then goes on to talk about those who can accept, for the sake of the Kingdom, living as a eunuch (in other words, celibate) by saying:

Jesus Himself modelled this lifestyle of dedicated singleness. “Yes, but that was Jesus,” you may object. True, but He’s not the only one who seems to feel this way...

Paul recommends celibacy for the single Christian, regardless of how they came to be in that state UNLESS lust is a serious threat to their holiness as is likely the case with younger widows (see 1 Timothy 5).

In Summary

We see that the God of the Bible, particularly Jesus Christ and the Holy Spirit writing through Paul in the New Testament, do not actually counsel believers to get married at all but instead elevate single celibacy as the highest relationship status goal.

Nevertheless, they also acknowledge that most people, particularly those of a certain adult age, are at greater risk for the eternity-threatening sin of porneia and everyone who finds themselves single and falls into that category should therefore find and marry one partner to be joined for life to only that individual. Monogamous couples are explicitly instructed to have regular sexual intimacy except in the case of short bouts of serious fasting and prayer.

Are you now tempted to quote Isaiah 43:19 “Behold, I do a new thing sayeth the LORD”?

It is not inconceivable that the Lord would do something unprecedented or even unusual. Consider Balaam’s ass, or the virgin birth. Yet what is the purpose and the nature of such one-off occurrences? Without fail they are intended to accomplish one or more of these things:

Bring glory to the Lord,
Protect God’s people,
Make a prophetic point, or
Be used as a disciplinary measure to bring disobedient people to repentance or justice.

Which is polygamy? Let’s consider this in Parts 2 & 3.

Part 2: The Nature of God

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