Anywho, that upper field is getting so damn crowded, that we're having trouble mowing it.
Dad and I keep telling people to GO UP THERE, but no one listens to us.
Except the Bumble. He listened.
We tell the damn deer to NOT go up there, and they don't listen either.
Hell, the damn deer don't listen to ANYTHING we say.
But I digress...
As a result, as a LIMITED TIME OFFER, you can get any tree in the upper field for $70.
That's right, $20 off. No, you don't get an additional, $20 off if Dad or I give you a discount for a crappy or small tree.
There are a couple of conditions.
It has to be a weekend. Or call IN ADVANCE.
Well, maybe work this out when you get there and make sure SOMEone sees you cut the tree.
SEES. you. CUT. the tree.
SOMEone has to see you cut the tree in the UPPER FIELD. And clearly, smartass, that SOMEone needs to be an employee.. You really thought I'd miss that, eh? Keep Hopin'. <grin>
This is the field directly up the hill from the upper parking lot & Xmas Shop.
To be even MORE clear, if there ain't nobody handing you a coupon, you're in the wrong place sweetheart...
You need the coupon. Where do you get the coupon? Somewhere near the Bumble.
WHERE is the Bumble. You'll just have to use your eyes, while you're at the farm. What, you think I'm gonna make this easy?
Some of the employees might know where the Bumble is.
And honestly, if you can't figure out where the Bumble is at this point, your tree is gonna cost you $120.00
WHAT is the Bumble? What are you, kidding me? Who in hell goes to a Xmas tree farm and doesn't know what a Bumble is? Go ask in the Xmas shop WHAT a Bumble is. My wife Jennifer will show you.
WHO is the Bumble? That is an entirely different Xmas thing. No Whos here. At least not this year. OMG, and now the foolalaing who song is playing in my head. Now, not that Who. The Grinch Who. That's who...
Ah, AC/DC to the rescue.... For your Too-Damn-Many-Xmas-Song-Needs my good friends - Break In Case Of Too Damn Many Xmas Songs
WHY is the Bumble? Well, likely because a Mommy and Daddy Bumble got together and had a few drinks, bumbled around a bit and Bumbled one or more nights away.
I mean, that's my guess. I wasn't there or anything disgusting like that...
Oh, you mean WHY HERE at the farm? Cripes, be specific. I was gonna get that HUGE one at Lowes, but they mention zip ties and other weird things in the assembly instructions. Didn't look like it was easy to take apart or keep safe during the off season. Have you ever looked in the Barn? It's big inside, but there are meece in there. LOTS of meece.
One could say a plethora of meeces. That sounds fun. "Plethora of meeces." Say it out loud along with me. Yes, giggle. I am. Ah, plethora of meeces. Nevermind "Serenity Now". I think I must try hard to remember to say "A plethora of meeces, by Jove." every time things go south for the rest of this year. I need to write that down. Hang on....
And yes, meece is the plural of mouse. Go look it up.
So anyway, I got the 5 footer to put out, for customers to take photos of the kids. I'll try to put him someplace reasonable for pictures. Everyone hope for nice weather.
When is the Bumble? The Bumble will be out in the upper field once I get there, take care of that days' emergencies, and /or get up there with him. Or get someone ELSE up there with him. Since I have a Bum ankle which makes me bumble around slowly while walking, you may have to look for me. I'll try to NOT hide too much, muahahahaha. Holler "Bumble, where are you?" if you can't find me.
If it is raining or even just a tiny bit misty or damp out, the Bumble and I will likely be in the Xmas Shop in the Red House garage.
If things go according to plan, the Bumble may even be lit up. But since nothing is going according to plan for me this year, don't go getting all upset if he isn't...
Yes, I know it's Who, What, Where, When and Y. But if I started out with Who, that joke would make less psense, now woodn't it?
Yes, at this point I simply make these pages REALLY long, just to make you scroll all the way to the bottom for nothing. NOTHING!!!!!
MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAhahahahahahahaaa
Clearly, that sentence means it's time for another drink, and that it's after 2 am, Bobstern time...
oooh, this is a long one. No, I no longer write comments like that anymore. I feel some scrooges might be getting offended. Go find my rants if you want those type of comments...